Ideas for Games. and Ideas for Centerpieces

Is he doing a mitzvah project? A lot of synagogues require kids to do 13 hours of some sort of community service. That can be the theme for the centerpieces. My son collected sporting goods for a couple of local agencies dealing with underprivileged kids - he set up a donation bin at the temple, went to local stores requesting donations (he had a letter from the rabbi saying it was a legitimate project), and he got a lot of new and gently used stuff based on the needs of the agencies. We collected everything and turned them into the centerpieces before giving them away. So people sat at the "hockey table" (with used hockey skates) or the "soccer table" (with new and used soccer balls, cones, etc.) or the "baseball table" with gloves and mitts and wiffle ball bats. We had a "back yard table" with frisbees and badminton rackets. So if your son is doing something that has a built-in theme, he can use that for centerpieces.

For the gifts, we only gave to the kids - we found a candy store that sold chocolates wrapped like soccer, basketball and baseballs, and gave each kid an assortment. It's not our custom in this area to give personalized gifts to every attendee so I'm not sure what your area is used to. Most people understand charity though - and it fits in with the Jewish value of your son joining the community as an adult and taking on adult obligations, including tikkun olam (repair of the world) and tzedakah (righteous giving).

Sometimes people collect toiletries for food pantries and battered women's shelters - use a plastic bin and fill it with purchased items or donated items. Ask area dentists for toothbrushes and sample-size toothpaste tubes. Or use donated canned and boxed goods for the local food pantry and just number the tables rather than dividing things up by category. A lot of synagogues suggest at 3% donation to Mazon, the Jewish response to hunger. So donate 3% of what you are spending on food and goodies for those who have little or nothing. Your son can ask for donations in his invitations (which means he's giving up a lot of his gifts, which is okay), or he can solicit the neighbors, or he can put a notice in the synagogue newsletter or set up a booth at the local supermarket (get permission from the market) saying he's giving to the food pantry in your town.

As for games, what is the structure of the party? DJ? Usually they have games that are routine - "Coke/Pepsi" is almost required it seems. You can also rent things at the rental company or sometimes borrow (for a small fee) from the school department - the thing I see a lot at parties even for graduation are things like beanbag tosses and something with 2 balls on a string that you toss and try to wrap around a crossbar. Not sure what it's called but it's everywhere and something all ages can do. You could check with a rental company to see what their biggest sellers (or rentals, actually) are.

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Hi N.W.
Geez, a bar mitzvah in the midst of your nerve pain? Have you considered that anxiety and stress could be a source?

First of all, have you/your son been to other bar mitzvah parties? What's "the ante" at your shul? What's expected can vary a lot depending on the area. For example, our son became bar mitzvah when we were living in Santa Cruz -- small town, small shul, not ostentatious, no big expectations. I made all of the decorations myself from recycled 2 L bottles, mylar, and balloons. We had a Sunday brunch since in August sundown was too late to host an evening party and hired a DJ for dancing and who played games with the kids. Total cost for the party ran about $5K (hall, food, DJ, decor). My nephew, on the other hand, became bar mitzvah in Ft. Lauderdale FL the previous April. The community was large and well off. The amount of money my in-laws paid for the event was obscene (~100K). Even so, the DJ STILL played the same games with the kids.

By the time my daughter because bat mitzvah we were living in L.A. We attended a bigger shul, she went to a private Hebrew Day School, and my husband was in rabbinical school. Expectations were higher, income was lower. We managed an evening dinner at a restaurant but I again handled all of the decor myself. Her theme was music. We got a lot of music-oriented helium balloons on-line (much cheaper than in the party stores) but had them filled locally. A friend helped us get crystal Jewish-themed paper weights on light stands that doubled as decor and party favors, plus we sprinkled candy along all of the tables. We hired a DJ who was building his business to save money and the DJ played games with the kids, plus brought a game show set up and ran a trivia game show for the whole party. We also supplied the DJ with light up toys (like balls and retainers), glow necklaces, bead necklaces and inflatable stuff from Oriental Trading Company to toss out to the guests. In addition, we hired an Israeli dance instructor who led the Israeli folk dancing for the entire party. Everyone -- especially the kids -- had a blast. Total cost ran about 7K.

Some of the other what I consider to be reasonable parties we've been to or heard of that were more kid than adult oriented included a night at a skating rink and an afternoon at a fencing club with lessons for the kids. It really comes down to what your son's interests are and what he would like to do. For example, you can play a trivia game oriented to any activity. Scavenger hunts are a lot of fun, again oriented to his favorite activity. If the kids are getting into dancing, you can do a freeze dance or wacky dance contest. If he's into something like Harry Potter, you can occupy the kids with potion making (mixing flavors/colors into drinks) and make up a version of Quidditch for them to play (I would avoid using balls, though :D ). Consider your venue -- will it be a restaurant? Synagogue social hall? Your backyard?

I actually really love coming up with ideas for this sort of thing, so if you want to bounce around some more, contact me via Mamapedia

And of course, Mazel Tov!

The Game Truck!!
http://www.gametruckparty.com/LasVegasHenderson

What are your son's interests? Music, movies, sports, video games? If you nail down a theme, I can definitely give you centerpiece suggestions, but without a starting point it's hard to make suggestions. Fun themes I have seen for Bar Mitzvahs- Hollywood/Oscars, Blues Brothers, Board Games (each table had a different board game theme, Monopoly, Sorry, Clue, etc), Mario Bros, Tennis, World Travels.

Games:
1. bingo
2. memory game (show items or pics to group and cover. Then everyone lists what they remember, most wins)
3. jars full of candy (guess how many pcs, win candy jar)
4. "How well do you know me?" game - guests get a list of questions about your son/family and most correct answers wins
5. Lily pad - punch bowl or tub full of water, float small plastic bowls/cups in water. Guests throw coins or ping pong balls into cups for prizes