50 answers

Ideal Age Difference Between Siblings

Hey ladies! I have a 15 month old son, and my husband and I are discussing when to begin trying for another baby. I am trying to get feedback on ideal age differences. If it were my way, the next baby would arrive shortly after my son turns two. If my husband had it his way, it wouldn't arrive until my son was 2 and a half or 3. We are still compromising, but I wonder what seemed to work for other people. I fear I will force my son to grow up too fast, but yet there is nothing better than the bond of a sibling. I know that ultimately it is in God's hands, but I am just trying to get a little idea of when to begin trying.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks girls! I spoke with my husband about the advice from the posts, and he really seemed to listen to what advice other families have. He understood that the closer in age, the harder it may be, but they may share a closeness they otherwise wouldn't if further apart with different interests. We are still discussing it, but I think we will begin trying the first of the year. Again, God will do what he has planned. I'll just have to wait and see. Thanks for all the input!

Featured Answers

A., Its when YOU are ready. My boys are 22 years old and 11 years old. I couldnt be happier. I have the greatest time with them both. The oldest is on his own and we have always been extrememly close. My youngest is having the time of his life with a brother who keeps a close eye on him and who has already "been there - done that." Ib is so heart warming to see them do things together. And as an added plus if we ever need an extra hand with anything I have the oldest to be there.

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A.,

I'm just glad to hear that I'm not the only one who disagrees with their husband on this issue. We are in the almost exact same situation- my daughter is 19 months and I think we'll try to get pregnant in a couple of months so the babies will be about 2 1/2 years apart but my husband wanted them 2 years apart because that's the space between he and his sister. Either way, I've realized that 6 months is nothing. You are absolutely right- put it in God's hands- he'll get it right :)

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

my 2 girls are 26 mo apart and I can not be happier. It's a little harder at the begging with 2 small children but it gets easier and easier as they grow and start play together. Just like other moms say, they share clothes, toys and they are best friends....even if they fight. My oldest will be 4 in march and she loves to be the big sister and I don't think she has been pushed to grow faster....I look at them and I am just proud....and thankful..!
good luck

1 mom found this helpful

I know you have already made your decsion by now, but I wanted to share my experience. My mother had four kids, My older sister is three years older than me...we get along great. My younger brother is 2 years younger than me...we get along great. My younger sister is three years younger that me and we also get along great. My older sister and brother are 5 years apart and they don't and never did get along.. My younger two siblings are a year apart from one another and have ever really got along all the great, they do have their times though.
From this I learned that 2-3 years apart was perfect. My second child was born 8 days after my oldest child's 3rd birthday. My youngest is 5 years younger than my second child, she is ignored by my older two children. They love her, but she can't do a lot of the stuff they do so unintentionally she is left out a lot.

1 mom found this helpful

A., Its when YOU are ready. My boys are 22 years old and 11 years old. I couldnt be happier. I have the greatest time with them both. The oldest is on his own and we have always been extrememly close. My youngest is having the time of his life with a brother who keeps a close eye on him and who has already "been there - done that." Ib is so heart warming to see them do things together. And as an added plus if we ever need an extra hand with anything I have the oldest to be there.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi,

I have two boys and they are exactly 3 1/2 years apart. I have my moments with them. They sometimes play nicest and sometimes they don't get along very well. If I had my way, I would've had them much closer, may be just 2 yrs. apart. I constantly struggle when the younger one has to nap and the older one has outgrown it. The activities that can be done with the older one is not possible for the younger one. Older one has outgrown the choking stage, but I have to constantly keep an eye out for younger one. Older one has to understand and compromise.
This kind of results in older one acting young, and younger one trying to copy his brother is growing up too soon. Its just very time consuming. If they were closer in age, I think these issue can be avoided. I agree that it would be hard to have two babies, but once they get to a certain age they can have activities planned together and may be share some interests.
Regardless of our issues, it is precious to see the siblings together and all those moments (even the testy ones)makes it worthwhile for all the efforts. My best memories revolve around them.

Just my two cents. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with what you said. I have four children - 18, 13, 10, and 5. God planned all of them because I would have had more closer together, but had six miscarriages.

1 mom found this helpful

Well mine are about to be 26 months apart. I am happy with this age gap, although since I'll have one of each sex I am not so sure they will be close friends as if they might have been if they were both the same gender. My nephews are almost exactly 3 years apart, and they are the best of friends. I think you need to consider your lifestyle and the personality of your son. Mine is pretty needy, so I am concerned about trying to breastfeed the baby and keep her safe and well cared for while dealing with a demanding young 2 year old. I know several people who have children 2 years apart. In most cases those with girls first seem to do a little better because girls tend to be more communicative and have an easier time understanding what a new baby means and seem to help out momma a little more. But again, only you know your son and how much time he demands from you. Plus of course he'll change a lot on 9 months, so you can never really know. I would suggest compromising with your hubby. Maybe stop using protection now, but don't actively try to get pregnant for another 6 months or so. As you said, it's all up to God anyhow. I know it took me 7 months of trying to get pregnant again. I had my first on the first try!

1 mom found this helpful

I have 4... My #1 and #2 are 6 yrs apart (not planned that way).. it was great #1 was in kindergarten when #2 came and I had all day to play with #2...they have just now started fighting (13 and 7)...

#2 and #3 are 4 yrs apart...again it was great because #2 was going to preschool when #3 came - #1 and #3 are very close (10 yrs between them) #2 and #3 clash a lot but I think it is more personality than age

#3 and #4 are 12 months 9 days apart...since they are only 33 months and 21 months I have yet to really see how it is going from them.. they play well together, but they really compete for my attention too.

As far as me, having them so close has been really hard for me to adapt...my other children were more self sufficient when the baby came and having two babies has been really hard. I am sure they will end up being very close... All my kids love each other even though they are spread over 11 years...I always worried my older son would be 'left out' because he was so much older, but when they all get together and play it is great. You can feel how much they love each other.

My plans were to have my kids about 3 yrs apart...someone up there had different plans for me...LOL... I was nervous about 3 yrs because my brother and I are 3 yrs apart and don't have a lot to do with each either.. as kids we fought for blood and as adults we are nice to each other but not what I wanted for my kids, so I definately think it is the in how they are raised.

My vote is 3 1/2... (buying diapers for two is a booger as well! :) just because you think the older will be trained when then next one comes doesn't always happen... and when you do it close to a major event - like having a sibling- sometimes they regress..) Hope that helps..

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