I Year Old Throws Terrible Tantrums!!

Updated on May 15, 2007
J.S. asks from Imperial Beach, CA
6 answers

My son will be one in a few days and has strated to throw terrible tantrums. He will throw himself on the floor and scream like someone is killing him. I usually just walk away and ignore him but lately he has been doing it where ever he wants to..the tile floor is the worst he smacks his head REALLy hard or on the wall when he "throws" himself he gets hurt and it scares me sometimes. I don't really know if time out is useful at this gae..if smacking his hand will make him agressive..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO and I am open to ANY opinions... It seems hard because if feels like hes not a baby anymore but he's not quite a toddler...

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So What Happened?

Well, today (It was Mother's Day a first for me) so he was in my arms most of the day..but I did try to get down on his level and talk to him...he just slapped me in the face. When he did that, I took him over to the corner, looked him in the eye and told him that we do not hit in this house. (We will not be slapping the hand anymore, yesterday he was in the corner and started to slap his own hand, this didn't settle well with me). He was in the corner for 1 min (he's 1) I learned from nanny Stell that you should be in the naughty spot for 1 min per year of age. So I did but I'm just not convinced that he understood what was going on! I do empathize with his frustration tantrums...but he throws them when he wants me to hold him all day or if I tell him he can't bite holes in my hand. ;) Ahh. I have 4 Dr. Sears book but I must admit, I am a "cry it out parent" that the Dr. hates ;) it has worked very wekk for me. Crying it out has helped him to understand that screaming does not get him a bottle at night and does not get me to let him pull on the cord of my curling iron. But...I'm tryin..it's so hard to do by myself

More Answers

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K.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Well I feel time out is ok at this age. I have been using it on my son. But you can not expect him to stay there for any length of time. But they do need to be aware they are not behaving nicely and there are consiquences. We have a couch he goes to. We put hi on it and walk away. He of course gets down, but as long as he is calm we are ok with it. If it continues we tell him he needs to calm down and take him back over and do it all again. The thing is you need to comunicate this with the dad so when he is in Nevada he can implament it as well and he does not get confused. Really he will not stay but for more than a few seconds but usually if not on the first try our son will calm down and know we mean business by the 2nd or 3rd time. Good luck, I know it is trying but you have to put your foot down and teach them now so it doesn't get even more out of control when he is older.

K.

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S.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello J. S,

I have 4 kids and my last son who is now 3 would throw tantrums all the time, however on the day before Thanksgiving about 1 1/2 years ago he throw one of his famous tantrums at my nieces house and unfortunately she had tile floor. When he fell out he hit his head and luckily I was aware he wasn't getting up like normal. So when I went to see what was going on he was having a seizure. Luckily I know how to spot a seizure so I know what to do and waited for the ambulance to arrive. He was air lift to a local children's hospital and came out of it with everything normal. He is now 3, but through out that time I had to get him a helmet that the doctor ordered, he hated wearing it and I would just know when he was about to have a tantrum so I would be right there to pick him up which he didn't like either and yes smacking his hand worked too, but having to wear that helmet that he hated helped so much. I would tell him he had to wear it because he was going to continue to get hurt. He is a very happy and healthy boy now and every now and then he'll find that helmet and put it on. Trust me you'll find what works, but just make sure you are there to pick him up or let him know to get up, just in case he needs help getting up.

Take care and Be Blessed,
S.

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C.F.

answers from Sacramento on

Just a possible thing if you continue to have problems, when my mom was raising my brother he would throw temper tantrums so bad that he would have trouble breathing. My brother's doctor told my mom that if he got really bad she could turn on a cold shower, pick him up and put him in. This would stop it immediately. I'm suggesting this as a possibility if you are truly afraid of him hurting himself and you have tried other options. Just keep it in mind for a possibility.

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R.P.

answers from San Diego on

It's really hard to say that you should punish this kind of behavior because at this point it's not about manipulating you, it's about being unable to communicate and understand his emotions. He's basically just pissed because he can't say "Hey! I was using that!" or some such. He might respond well to you giving him words for what he's feeling, as another respondent posted. I don't know how well your little guy talks, but I know my son would get all sorts of worked up because he couldn't figure out how to tell us he was hungry. So, I worked on teaching him a few signs and that seemed to help tremendously. Here's a link to an article by Dr. Sears that might help you out: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063300.asp

Best of luck.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi J.,
I think it is pretty normal for little ones to throw fits. They have something to express and cannot use words like we can. Check his needs when he is doing that...is he tired and it is time for a nap, hungry, thirsty, frustrated, or ill. Other than that I would try to give him a hug and always talk to him reminding him we don't do things to hurt ourselves. They understand us a whole lot better than we understand them. As for spanking his hand, I personally wouldn't discipline him for the fits as I see it as a way of communication. My little one has stopped throwing the fits and she is 18 months. But, she can communicate a whole lot better. If she is hungry or thirsty she tells me. She just never mentions I would like to take my nap now. LOL! I see nothing wrong with spanking, but it all up to the individual. I already raised a 24 year old and I spanked when necessary and she is not aggresive at all. In fact, she avoids violence.

As your baby grows, you will find there are different punishments suitable for different behaviors. You will find your child will do things you never immagined and it may emberrace you, but remember most children act up. Very few children are truly the angels we would like them to be, not to say they can't ever be. My older daughter is very open with me and she laughs today and tells me the things she did as a child and I can't believe it, but if she says she did it, i believe her.

Don't worry about Reed and dad. I was very hesitant about my husband keeping the baby for a day while I was at work and they did just fine. They love to spend the day together and now I appreciate that. I love having a little time to myself. We all need it.

Take care of you and Reed!

C.

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K.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

I feel your pain. Brent used to do the same thing. It started when he was around 10 months old. And what a headache! Forget terrible twos, it's more like terrible ones! It is kind of hard to say what you can do cause I tried it all and none of it worked. Time outs, nope. Holding him so he didn't hurt himself, Nope. Only if I wanted a black eye. The only thing you really can do it try to distract him when he is acting like that. Take him outside if he truly loves going outside (usually that worked for us) He is having a hard time with what he is feeling and that is probably why he is acting that way. The good thing is if he is like my son, once he starts to talk the tantrums with subside. Oh yeah and Happy Mothers Day, Don't worry things will work out. :)

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