I Wanted to Have Emmy Pull a Big Daddy!

I J. don't get people sometimes. <sigh>

Would it have killed this lady to let Emmy use the bathroom? Especially since there were no other customers in the store!

Most normal people would understand that kid's bladders are inconsistent at best and that they can't always plan ahead like adults.

I'm glad you took the high road and didn't pull a Big Daddy, but I totally get what you mean!

ETA: Bug.. makes a very good point. I didn't think of that, so I guess if that were the case, I understand why she said no.

When I am pregnant I can not hold it. I am an every 2 minute need to go kinda woman. I have threatened to pee on the floor...for M. or my little ones. Oddly that usually works and they will let M. or them go.

I have allowed them to pee in a bush, or side of the road and even once in a parking lot; imagine M. puking and little one having to go NOW and M. not being able to move. It was right out of a comedy, but beyond that no. I J. don't go back.

I HAVE allowed my son to pee in the woods, side of a road, behind a bush--in a PINCH, in a desperate situation....but no...not as a punishment for an establishment with a "no customer" bathroom policy. Uncool.

There's a lt to be said for reminding them TO pee at a convenient, bathroom accessible moment! LOL

No. I worked in a small business, that couldn't allow the public to use the restrooms. We stored the money in the back, as well as only having room for the safe in the actual bathroom. Not to mention, all of our personal belongings were in the bathroom, as well as all cleaning supplies. The liability of letting someone back there, could be huge. If you let one in, you have to let them all. I don't believe it's "rude," but often necessary.

Ummm, as a punishment for an establishment not letting us use the bathroom? No, but if my son absolutely could not wait, I would allow him to go in a bush, but ONLY if there were no other options. Desperation, not punishment.

If they allow the public to use their bathrooms, they have to be compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Keep in mind that some people have made a CAREER out of seeking out establishments who allow customers to use the bathroom, but do not have handicapped-accessible bathrooms. They could get sued up the whazoo if they got caught allowing customers into an ADA non-compliant restroom.

I totally see your sarcasm here - if there were no rules, teach that grumpy woman a lesson. Geez. I guess my only satisfaction would be going back to the notary and explain your frustration - she's 5!!! when you gotta go, you gotta go. Since she's a notary, it's not like she has the option (or common decency) of customer satisfaction - you really don't have a choice like you would with a retailer.
I got the stink eye and mean words from a flight attendant when my daughter had to use the toilet that was considered 'first class' - the little mesh divider part. She was almost six and had recently gotten out of the hospital for a severe kidney infection. She had to GO. Like, immediately. If first class paid for fancier bathooms in an airplane, I would kinda understand. But it was your standard bathroom with no one waiting when we got in or when we got out.
Big Daddy on an airplane! That would cause some issues. :)

There are very few places I ever encounter where there is no public bathroom. I myself have little holding capacity, always have, so I am careful!

I always hear a story my MIL tells of a family trip they took. MIL, FIL, 3 kids under age 8 (boy 8, boy 6, girl 5). They were coming back from Grandmas house 3 hours away, a trip they often took. They were in FIL's nicely restored car...his "baby" altho is was an every day driver. This would ahve been in the later 1970's.

FIL was not a "stopper". 5 year old girl needed to pee. BAD. MIL asked him to stop several times. They argued over it. He told girl to hold it, they would be home soon. Tough it out. Then he stopped for gas at station a few blocks from home. Filled up, washed the windows, putzy putzy. MIL was pissed. Girl said she was going to pee. Tears and all. MIL told her to pee on the seat. DO IT she told her.

So she did, crying the whole time. She knew dad was going to be madder than ever about his car. He got back in, smelled the pee, girl was blabbering and crying. MIL was triumphant. They drove home in silence (5 minutes away from home) and FIL never said another word I guess. Lots of silence for a while at home after that I guess. And enough potty stops on future Gramma 3 hour trips to satisfy all the family members after that.

I have heard this story for the last 25 years that I have been a part of this family!! My hubby always stops when I gotta go!! He may not like to stop so much on our cross country trips, but he remembers what the alternative can be from this childhood episode! LOL

Mean people suck! Poor Emmy!

Your poor little girl! That stinks! When my oldest was in 6th grade he had a stomach ache so raised his hand to use the restroom. The teacher said no. He raised it again, no. Finally he couldn't hold it in and spewed Flaming Hot Cheetohs all over his desk and the floor. Later I told the teacher she might want to let him use the restroom next time. She wasn't a very nice woman and hopefully learned a lesson. Unfortunately the lesson was at my son's and the surrounding kid's expense.

The place where I get my hair done can't allow clients to use their restroom because of insurance and the chemicals are right there.

As you said, she had to go very bad all of a sudden. We hate to see our kids in pain (even from a full bladder) but that's J. how it is in many businesses. I thought it had to have something with needing to be handicap accessible if it were public. It wasn't the lady's fault, she could probably get in trouble for making an exception.

Well I have boys and its easier for them... I would have took him right out front and had him pee on a tree or something and then right back inside. If he peed on the floor (I would not tell him too only because I dont want to set a precident with him) but if he did on accident I would have told the lady "well thats what you get. hes a kid and he can only hold it so long. good thing we did not upset the sanctity of your bathroom though. Oh, and have fun cleaning that up!" It could be a teaching moment for the mean and thoughtless adult - sometimes they need them even worse than kids do.

This is one of the pluses about having little boys, you CAN usually find something for them to pee behind.

Many places don't have "public" restrooms, you J. sort of have to plan better when you have kids out and about. I, to this day, still feel the need to pee when I'm at our bank, and they wont let anyone use their bathroom, I even saw them tell a little ol' lady on a walker "NO" once.

Sucks.

explanation:
Big Daddy - the movie with Adam Sandler and they won't let the child use the restroom so the kids pees on the outside wall.

I think i'd be irritated too and would think it to myself but the mother in M. would want to teach a lesson to the child and remind them to peepee before we leave and that not all people worry about our well-being.....

I'm positive I've been in this position.

However, I've been in the position where the store obviously did not allow customers to use their restroom and the lady who looked down at my 5 year old holding herself doing the I have to go potty dance said "Well we don't have a public one, but I'd rather let you use it then be mopping up pee later" LOL

What a jerk that lady was being, there's no reason she couldn't have let your child use the bathroom. I would have went off on her, but not I wouldn't have let my child pee on a building. In the bushes, yes. :)

It was unkind that they couldn't make an exception for your little girl, but no I wouldn't let either of my children pee in public (on purpose or out of spite). That would mean I was reacting immaturely to the notary's position and I am above that. However, if my child absolutely could not make it to a bathroom, I may allow them to go behind a bush or somewhere sort of private. When you gotta go, you gotta go! But I wouldn't allow it for the simple purpose of getting back at the notary. Glad your daughter was able to get somewhere to use the bathroom. Would be a good opportunity to remind her to use the bathroom before leaving home even though I know these types of situations can't be avoided sometimes!
HTH,
A.

I never heard of a "big daddy". Hmm.

No, I've never thought of that, but I will say that there were times when my kids were little that they couldn't make it and had accidents. That's when the person who said no wished that they had said yes. It didn't happen often, but I will say that I didn't clean it up (didn't have anything with M.) and I'm not sorry about that.

Dawn

Can't say I ever head of "big daddy" either...

But although I might want to, I would not... it is not teaching the right lesson. I totally get the wanting to do it though.... I would have been seriously upset with the notary.

That said, I have never had anyplace refuse us the use of the bathroom... lucky I guess!

It's not only a matter of having things in the back that they fear will be taken, but it is a matter of possibly being sued.

There is an idiot here in CA that goes around to businesses asking if he can use the restroom. Most businesses accommodate him. Then he sends someone in a wheelchair in to ask to use the bathroom. If the business cannot accommodate a wheelchair (handicap accessible) then the guy sues the business under the American with Disabilities Act because if the restroom is open "for public use" it has to accommodate all of the public, including persons with disabilities.

We have not allowed the "general public" to use our bathrooms in many years because of this. This guy is known state-wide for doing this. J. recently he has been labeled a "vixacious litigant" and now has to get approval from a judge before he can even file a lawsuit anywhere in the state

So, it's not a matter of being mean, it's a sound business decision not to allow the public to use your restroom.

A perfect example of how one person can ruin things for everyone!

No, I would never "punish" a store employee for not allowing my kid to use the toilet. I worked in retail for a dozen years and I know how it is with policy and there are safety issues sometimes when it comes to letting customers use the bathrooms. They're J. not set up or safe for customers when you have to go through a back room/store room.

There's also the fact that many stores have a policy where if the employees choose to allow someone in back, the customer MUST be supervised and that's J. not always possible because many/most stores are not allowed to leave the store unattended especially if the store only has one or two employees on staff at the moment.

It sucks for the mom and child, but it's kind of a "tough noogies" situation. You're not entitled to use the bathrooms and there's no law that requires the store to allow it, and you're certainly not entitled to retribution by intentionally urinating or defecating and destroying store property. No matter polite or impolite you choose to interpret the employee to be.

Personally I think it's ridiculous to have to beg to use the bathroom . . . especially in a public establishment that is happy to take your business, errrr $$$.

No, I wouldn't pull the Big Daddy. But I wouldn't patronize them again either.

My goodness what if the child was bleeding or hurt . . . would they ask her to move on? Well having to use the restroom that badly is close to an emergency.

People (and businesses) need to use common sense imho.

I think what you are suggesting is disgusting, crass, uncouth, and absolutely ridiculous...so I really, REALLY hope you are kidding. :)

Stopping the car and peeing in a ditch when you are thirty miles away from the next rest stop is one thing. Peeing in public on purpose is J. what I said above. Even for a child. I hope you didn't share your extreme frustration or this idea with your child (but hey, I totally get it. I cannot BELIEVE they wouldn't let your child use their bathroom. Would I have let my child wet their pants IN their office? Yup.)

Sorry, but I J. really hate public peeing. My little neighbor boy (six) thinks it's okay to pee in our communal yard (duplex.) Um, no. I have daughters.

I have NEVER had someone tell M. my son couldn't use the bathroom. Whether or not the bathroom is for staff or customers it is RUDE and CRUEL to not allow a child to go when they need to. I would have no hesitation about adding 'because I don't think he is going to wait to go'.

Well, given that my son DOES have the parts, still no since it is illegal. And no it is not unsanitary - J. seems that way. I would however, J. for moments like these carry one of these http://www.mypilotstore.com/MyPilotStore/sep/676?qryrmv=1... in the trunk of the car(s).

I actually threw my very first adult tantrum about this a couple of weeks ago trying to register a new car after being in line over 2 hours at the DMV only to be sent to a different tax office. I didn't have all necessary forms (dealership's fault-whole mission thwarted) and my newly potty trained toddler had to pee LIKE FOR REAL. The lady wouldn't let M. use the bathroom. The frustration was building inside M. from the wole day and I was losing my cool as I said, "Please, she's newly potty trained, we've been in lines and in the car for hours, she can't hold it" and whatever the lady said, it pissed M. off, and as I was scurrying to get my forms together to rush out and have my daughter....what...pee in the car? I J. snapped. I slammed my folder on the counter and said to my other two kids (3 and 5) loudly, "We're not leaving, we're going to let your sister pee right here on this lady's floor and she can clean it up." Two other customers were staring and she said, "Ma'am it's against regulations-"and I J. screamed. "I KNOW YOU HAVE A BATHROOM HERE!!! WE'RE NOT LEAVING!!!!!! I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

And she let us use it.

There was some official security reason we were not supposed to use it. but I J. didn't care.