I Want to Sell It but My Family Is Getting Upset with Me, Do I Do It Anyway?

Updated on May 08, 2011
N.A. asks from Saint Joseph, MO
19 answers

My grandpa died in 1997 and in order to buy his steal guitar from my grandma I had to sell my car (my parents bought it for me). so I sold my car and my parents put up the last $200 I did not ask them to, in fact I didn't know they did until later, so I could get it. it's just been sitting in the basement waisting away and I want it to go to someone who will love it as much as he did, I would love to keep it in the family but no one has the money to buy it and they would just pack it away too.They have had over a yr to decide what to do because I mentioned it going to someone who would play it. I just recently made up my mind to finally go back to school thats when it became about money but I still want it to be played, made use of and enjoyed that is my 1st objective money is next. I want to go back to school and this is the only thing I have of any real value that I can get enough to pay my tuition. the school I want to go to DOESN"T except financial aid because it's already cheap. I think that my grandpa wouldn't mind if I used the money to go back to school. as soon as I bring it up my mom gets upset and starts crying saying she will sell her records (that were his) before she lets the guitar go. I wouldn't say anything to her but it's in her basement and she would notice if it was gone not to mention I feel obligated to discuss it with her because they did buy the car for me and put up the rest of the cash for it, she says it's mine but it doesn't feel like it. she told my grandma and she started crying too she was going to sell it to a guy but because I came up with the money in time she let me buy it at a slight discount, and my cousin will be upset if he doesn't get it also. I want to sell it for as much as I can so I can go to school and if there's any extra use it as a down payment on a house, if someone in the family can come up with what I paid my grandma for it then I would sell it to them and pay my parents back the $200. I think this is a smart decision and as sad as my dad would be to see it go also he agrees with me. I don't need that guitar to remember how great my grandpa was and I have other things from him that I could never give up. it just seems like a huge waist for it to sit and rot and never be enjoyed again. should I sell it anyway and make everyone mad at me so I can take a big step in my life or just let it go?

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So What Happened?

I'm gonna try to get someone in the family to buy it. everyone chipped in to buy my cousin a car but I doubt they will do anything to help me out. I think if not one of them can buy it then they should all chip in to get it and then who ever wants it then can pay the others back. I will not give it away to them I had to sell my car and I'll still have to pay my parents back the $200 so yeah no giving awayI had to buy it so can they. I wouldn't be so adament about it going but for these two reasons, it's sitting in the basement, our basement is damp and the case and cover are growing mold on them and the bottom of the amp is rusting out so it is waisting away down there, second reason is that my tuition is very low right now if I can pay it before the end of the month I won't have so much to pay if not it goes back up to the original price which is $500 more than it is now. what I ment about the what ever is left over after tuition I would use on a down payment on a house is I'll probably only have $100-200 left if any and I would save it back for that instead of going out and blowing it on whatever.

More Answers

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L.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Woah, you didn't have the money to pay for it back in '97.You had to sell your car++.If you didn't buy it grandma would have sold it to someone else.Put the guitar up for sale for it's appraised value (or whatever you think it is worth). It was your sacrifice/investment.If your mom wants to buy it off you, you should give her a $200 discount but that offer should not apply to your cousin or any other relative.If someone wants it that bad, let them sell their car!

15 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I think you should get it appraised. Set the sale price. If someone from the family can come up with the cash, fine. Otherwise, let it go. It's just a thing. Selling it will not make your Grandpa any less important to you.

9 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

You made the sacrifice to purchase it in the first place. You are not responsible for your family's feelings. Tell them how much you will be selling it for and move on - they can buy it just like you did! If they want to pool the money together and buy then that would be great. I am curious what their real intentions are. Do they want it for its value as well just to end up doing what your are doing? I say, you paid for it, you can sell it!!!!!! Take that next step.....

4 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My first thought was to keep it.

But when you consider that when you wanted the guitar, you were made to BUY it, I'd say it's yours to do with what you please.

And I KNOW your grandpa would be proud of the fact that his guitar provided you with tuition. Have you ever heard "This Old Guitar" by Neil Young? It's a song about how a guitar is honored by being played and enjoyed.

Get it appraised by a reputable source and go from there.

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Seriously, you would consider selling this guitar? I'm sorry but your family has every right to be upset. If you think it's just taking up space then GIVE it to a family member. Why in nevaeh's name would you think you have the right to SELL it to a family member when they were just as much family to your grandfather as you were? Just because you need financial aid? That's the real question here, isn't it? You want to know if it's all right to ditch a family heirloom so that you can get financial aid for school.

You can get financial aid from somewhere else. You don't sell off family heirlooms. You'll regret that choice down the road and you'll cause such a divide with your family that they'll probably lose a lot of respect for you. I know that I would. It would not be a waste, and it wouldn't rot. Give it to someone in the family who will treasure it and take care of it. Get your financial aid by applying for grants and scholarships.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm shocked that you had to buy it in the first place! Good grief.

Soooo, legally you own this family heirloom. Offer it for sale to the highest family bidder, repay your parents $200 of it.....& say goodbye to the guitar.

If the family cannot afford to purchase it, then I would recommend saving your $$ until you can afford the tuition. If you let this heirloom go, you will regret your choice ....in 5 years, in 10 years......

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

If this had been a gift to you from your grandmother I would MAYBE have a different feeling about it but she SOLD it to you for goodness sake!! If it meant so darned much to her back then, it should be sitting and collecting dust in HER basement!!!
I have been in this position...only I was on the opposite end of things...I am an only child...my Mother lived in the house that I grew up in until she passed away in 2000. The house has been lived in by 2 of my daughters...in fact one is living there now...with her husband and our grandson. I just couldnt make myself go there and go through all of Mom's things...they weren't just "things" to me...they were memories. Long story short...we finally (after much pushing from my daughter who lives there now) had an antique dealer come and buy everything except the things that each of us had chosen as things we just couldnt part with. It broke my heart at first...and I will admit I was a little angry at my daughter for forcing the issue...but now...a couple of years later...I am fine with it. I KNOW that if I had kept all of those "things" they would be sitting somewhere, collecting dust, just like the Steel guitar is doing for you.
Go ahead and get it appraised....if you want to...let the family know how much you are expecting to get out of it and give them a chance to buy it from you. If none of them step up ( I think it will suddenly be a lot less important to them when they have to give up money for it!!)....sell it to someone who will use it and honor your grandfather by making beautiful music with it!!
The family may be upset with you for a while but they will get over it.
Good luck

3 moms found this helpful

K.R.

answers from Sherman on

Your grandma SOLD it to you, she at least should understand. Dont be sneeky about it, and give them EVERY oppertunity to buy it at it's appraised value. and be sure to follow thru with your school, so you dont get more flack about it later.
But they may be less against it as they are sad about it. It may have been neing confronted with the idea, and the memories that made them cry initally. continue to bring it up and let them get used to the idea.
my parents did this with thier house. the first time they mentioned selling it i was Horrified and said no you cant not ever! but as time went on they would mention it again, and again and not if they sold it i would be fine. it makes sence now and i am not just giving an emotuonal responce.

3 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Why not get it appraised... then ask ALL your family to pitch in to that amount and then you'll get the money for college and they can all keep the guitar?

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Ok, the fact you had to buy the guitar from your grandmother bothers me to begin with. But, given that you had to buy it, it is yours to do with as you wish. Don't feel guilty. It is a thing, not a memory or an emotion.

2 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

maybe sell lottery tickets for it? Everyone that wants it can chip in for it, and then you draw the winner. It stays in the family and you get your money. Tell them of that plan so they can start buying tickets from you... once you have the money you need for it pick the lucky winner out of the basket.

This is one of those cases where you shouldnt tell your family what you are doing all the time. If you did decide to sell Grandpa's guitar I wouldnt tell anyone until they actually asked.... it's really none of their business.

1 mom found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would get it apprised, if you have not done so already. Remembering that just because it is apprised at a certain price does not mean you will get that amount when you sell it.

When you bought it from grandma was she going to sell it anyway to family or unknown person? To me if she was going to sell it to whomever could pay then you are doing nothing different then her. The only thing if you are looking for MORE money then what you paid for the guitar it can come across that you were out for making money on something that has important family meaning. That can tear any family apart, so be careful how you go about it. Honestly if you are saying you can afford school AND maybe a house down payment it kind of seems you are selling a potential family heirloom just for the money.

How much did you pay for it (hundreds, thousands)? Offer to sell it for the same price you bought it at to any family interested. Right now it seems you want to make quick money, even if it is going to a good cause. If someone did that in my family with a potential family heirloom I too would be a little upset.

I do agree that it is yours to do with what you want, you bought it, it is rightly yours BUT if you do sell you NEED to pay back the $200 that the parents fronted. Also you said you sold your car that your parents gave you PLUS they fronted the $200 really your PARENTS bought the guitar since you used their gift to buy it... the more I think about it the more it is about getting more money.

Regarding school you can work more hours, apply for grants, take out a school loan. I got hardly any finical aid at a mid price private college and still made it work without selling valuables. To me if this guitar was so important for you to sell your car & ask parents to front you money then you may regret it later if you do sell.

1 mom found this helpful

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

OMG, this is EXACTLY how people end up on "Hoarders." Some passes a away and they HAVE to keep all their stuff to "remember" them.

Have them all over and take a MILLION pictures of the thing and be DONE with it. I've kept very few things of my son's but have a TON of pictures. I rather have someone else USE something than have it sit and collect dust.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

Think of it this way if you wouldn't of said anything how long would it of been before they asked about it? If its just sitting down there I would make sure it goes somewhere that will get played!

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i get that family heirlooms are a big deal, but practicality has a place too. especially for an heirloom that YOU sacrificed and scrimped to buy in the first place. where were all the tears over grandpa's legacy then?
going to school is a great goal, and one of the few things i think are important enough to make selling a valuable family asset worthwhile.
get it appraised, give your family first refusal (maybe at a small discount) and then sell it and go to school.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would send out a formal email or letter stating that although you have enjoyed owning it that it is time for you to sell it. If anyone has any interest in purchasing it from you then they can contact you. Give a date that allows for them to come up with the money, you can't just say I am selling it on Friday, anyone want it? because that's not a reasonable amount of time. I think a month might be suitable. If no one has responded in that time frame then send out another and let everyone know it wasn't sold to anyone and that it is being sold on such and such date. Thank them for taking time to think about it too.

The economy isn't what it used to be and you should check around and get some estimates on what it's worth now. It may be worth much more or much less. A steel guitar isn't one of the most used instruments in any type of band anymore. The sounds have changed a lot in the past 25 years. It may not be worth what you paid for it so don't be so sure it'll pay for all the things you are planning.

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E.F.

answers from St. Louis on

Is there anyway to put off school for a year or two, get an extra job and work your butt off to save the money? That way you get to keep the guitar and you get to go to school AND you did not have to rely on anyone else to get it done. It puts off your dream a little bit, but this way there are no strings attached.

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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm confused... why wouldn't a family heirloom just be given to the person who wanted it? Why did you need to pay your grandma for it? That just strikes me as odd.

I wouldn't sell something so treasured, but that's me. Money comes & goes, family does not. Get a job & pay for school that way.

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P.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I would suggest trying to sell it back to the family. Maybe you could get a few grants for school.

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