26 answers

I Want a Girl!!

I have 2 adorable little boys who mean the world to me, however, if we were to go for a third I would LOVE to have a little girl. I am a girlie girl and would love to have a daughter. I am not sure I could handle 3 boys. Is having IVF totally unethical? (besides expensive, I have done lots of research). Please no mean answers! My husband I are also considering adoption.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think adoption makes more sense.

Also, keep in mind that not all girls are "girly," and some of them are very hyper!

Best wishes to you. :)

4 moms found this helpful

I completely understand how you feel. We have twin boys, and I so want a little girl. However, I'm of the mindset that a third baby should be wanted and welcomed regardless of the sex. So, if you want a third to have a third, go for it. If you only want a third if it's a girl, this might not be the right decision.

4 moms found this helpful

Having IVF won't guarantee what sex the baby will be. There was recently a couple in Australia who did IVF and aborted twins b/c they were not the sex they wanted. So sad.

You would need to go through a different process for that. I've read that there is a place in VA that specializes in this type of request. there was an article about them in People (or maybe readers digest??) a few years ago... why don't you just google the subject and see what comes up.

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We tried for #3 after having two boys and couldnt' conceive again. We chose to follow our hearts into adoption and have been home with our daughter for almost 7 months. :) She was 3.5 when we brought her home from Ukraine and is now 4. She has mild cerebral palsy but is doing fabulous, walking on her own now and just a complete blessing.

Adoption is amazing. Its not for the faint of heart and we'veh ad our ups and downs, but every.single.day is worth it, watching her blossom and grow, and learn and enjoy things we take for granted, like toes in the sand, sunshine on her face, freedom to be outside and do what she wants and not be stuck inside four walls of an orphanage.

10 moms found this helpful

You are so blessed to have two healthy boys and I respect that you are honest with yourself regarding being able to handle 3 boys. If you go ahead and conceive the old fashioned way then you run the chance of another boy and if you are going to be any more than a bit dissapointed for the first few minutes then don't do it. It's not fair. I am all for adoption, lots of people do it and there are so many wonderful children out there, many of whom are a bit older and you pretty much know what you are going to get. As far as IVF goes, its expensive, painful, and then what are you going to do with the fertilized eggs? I personally am against the destruction of fertilized eggs but in this case it seems even more unethical, But that is between you and God.

7 moms found this helpful

The fact that you came here to ask this question tells me that you, yourself do think it is, in fact, unethical, on some level.

I would not do something like that unless I really wanted another child & couldn't conceive the traditional way.

Everyone has different ideas of what is ethical & unethical. No one here can tell you how to feel or make the decision for you.

6 moms found this helpful

Adoption seems the best route to get what you want to complete your family. Think about it and do some research

6 moms found this helpful

Unethical? I don't know, but I would go the adoption route if it were me.

5 moms found this helpful

I think adoption makes more sense.

Also, keep in mind that not all girls are "girly," and some of them are very hyper!

Best wishes to you. :)

4 moms found this helpful

I completely understand how you feel. We have twin boys, and I so want a little girl. However, I'm of the mindset that a third baby should be wanted and welcomed regardless of the sex. So, if you want a third to have a third, go for it. If you only want a third if it's a girl, this might not be the right decision.

4 moms found this helpful

The question is: how long will you keep trying, to have a girl... and at what expense? Be it emotionally and financially?

You are a girly girl. That does not mean, your having a girl, will be a girly-girl experience. A child is an individual. Their own person. Not to be made into, a connotation of what a 'girl' is.

I have a girl, and a boy.
My daughter is her own person. Sure, she went through 'girly' phases. But she has her OWN style and her own likes/dislikes. Just like any other individual. I don't put my ideas of style/dress/personality onto her. She is herself. Her Aunty, would try and buy my daughter "her" idea of what a girl should wear. ie: Ralph Lauren type styles. My girl, is NOT that way. She has her OWN style and ideas. Regardless of gender... you need to let your child, be themselves. Regardless, of "Your" ideas, of what a girl or boy... is.
Right now, my girl HATES dresses. LOVES jeans. But is such a girl.... and a dichotomy. She is girly AND rough and tumble too.
She is also not, me.
I know that.
I don't live through her.
So you have to let them be, themselves.

I like what Riley J. said.

4 moms found this helpful

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