I Think She Is Mentally Stress but I Really Would like to Have Another Baby

Updated on October 15, 2010
L.T. asks from Swedesboro, NJ
8 answers

my wife had a miscarriage in march of this year and had an ectopic pregnancy august of this year and i know she is really scared and nerves but she wants a baby to in nov. it will be 3month from the surgery date do u think we should have a baby cuz i know im ready but im not sure if her body and mind is ready for another trip though motherhood

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S.H.

answers from New York on

I am sorry for the losses you have suffered. This isn't a question that anyone but you and your wife can answer. It is different for every couple and you guys need to talk about what you feel before you start trying. Of course go to the OB/GYN before you decide and if you do start trying I would suggest being relaxed about it. Don't schedule sex, check ovulation etc. It is so much easier if you just enjoy each other and let nature take it's course at least for a little while. I found if I stressed about getting pregnant it just added to the fear that my body couldn't carry a child. Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

L.,
Please relax and stop pressuring your wife. She has been through a lot and needs support now more than ever. When the timing is right for everybody (baby-to-be included) it will happen. Enjoy being together and take things slowly for a while!
Good luck!
- J. :)

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

My Dr told me to wait two full cycles before trying after I had my miscarriage (I had to have a D&C). I wasn't mentally ready though. We waited a year before we got pregnant with our son who is now 10 months. Good luck to you and your wife!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

When her body is ready, it will happen. Don't rush it. Don't sweat the precise date of birth. 6 months is standard to mentally and physically recover from surgeries/miscarriages, etc. Breath deep, and don't sweat it!

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F.W.

answers from Flagstaff on

Give her a year. WHen people rush into another pregnancy it is never good. I had a friend who did and their marriage ended shortly after. She was not in the proper mental state, nor did she get therapy. I would suggest getting into therapy and getting over these last two devastating events and make sure she is alright. Remember that woman who drowned her 5 kids? Well, she had severe depression, the family doctor prescribed her two meds that should never be mixed and she went crazy. Her husband just ignored the depression. Trust me, you have to be in the right mind. There are also support groups out there for miscarriages and such. Remember, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. I don't mean to be negative, just honest.

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B.M.

answers from Houston on

It's really sweet of you to think of this for her, your wife is super lucky! I know that for me, getting pregnant as soon as I was cleared after my miscarriage helped me mentally. In a weird way, it helped to remind myself that if I didn't miscarry, then I wouldn't have the baby I was currently carrying. I think ask her about it and if you both still want another baby, then go for it b/c the worry about your body being able to carry a baby after a miscarriage doesn't go away the longer you wait. Good luck to you both.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Having three children myself, I definitely suggest that both you and your wife talk to her doctor. Your wife has been through alot this year both physically and mentally. The doctor can help come to a decision. Your wife needs to be at her healthiest when she is ready to conceive. Be supportive to her and don't be h*** o* her if she isn't ready. Your wife needs love and support; she has been through two very painful and difficult ordeals this year. Even with full term pregnancies, carrying babies is not easy for many women. There are horomonal changes, weight gain, fear, and anxiety amongst the joys of motherhood.

Best wishes to you both,

M.

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