20 answers

I Think My Son Is Dealing Drugs

Hi ladies. This is so horrible & unmentionable but I really need some help here. My 17 yr old son who has been more than a little unruly, constantly goes out for "walks". Tonight a car stopped in front of a neighbors house & it seemed like a "transaction" was going on. My son came home right after it. Since then, cops have been patroling our 18 house street, never seen a cop here before. I don't think he's doing drugs. But a high school drop out with no job that always has money? I am so embarrassed to post this. I can get over embarrassement.... Please anyone that has been through anything thing similiar, please help!!!! He's turning 18 in April & I am so afraid what decisions he will choose when he's on his own. HELP!!!!!

What can I do next?

More Answers

I've had experiance with this...
Initially, you'd want to ask him about it, but don't know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.
You say he's been a little more than unruly, so you have reason to believe that if you ask him about his "walks" and him always having money when he has no known legal legitimate job, that he will be a little more than "defensive". And that's fine...But, if he is downright angry about you asking him about something like that, then something is wrong.
Personally, I would put him out of the house because if your intuition is right, he is a danger to your house and home. But you don't want to do that because it seems to me that you are a caring mother, and you have that attatchment.
If you are right, please don't think you have done something wrong as a parent. Because it is not true. A person is who they are because of the people they surround themselves with. And negative people like that have large impacts on the life of a young man.
So...all I can say is get some help...And if he doesn't want help, then I don't know what to say because you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
I hope I helped you..

~Kiki R.

1 mom found this helpful

This is life threatening for your son and your family. Talk with him, get him into therapy, get a drug test immediately!!! It's a very hard time seeing as you just transferred and he is probably trying to fit in any way he can. Have a family meeting ASAP. There is no shame, reach out and get help NOW! Are you involved in a church? Get in touch with the minister, youth pastor. Also, once you find out details, get your family into Alanon. I pray that this is not true, but reach out, people care!!!!!!
May God guide you and protect your family.

1 mom found this helpful

Im praying for you.

1 mom found this helpful

I want to start out by saying i'm sorry to hear about your troubles and there is no need to be embarrassed.first remember that you are the parent and as the parent you have all the power....we as parents have to learn when our children get up in age it's sooo much easier for trouble to find them.he is 17 years old he should not be going for walks at night anyway.(very important)Who are his friends?people do not love our children like we do,they will not hesitate to harm him.who care if he gets mad at you.put your foot down ,it's called tough love.let him know what you suspect and since he has so much time at night he can apply that energy in night school to get his ged.i am a single mother i have a 19 year old and he can not go anywhere without my permission.i beleive in raising my children old school style.trust me they will appreciate it later.i will guide my children until i feel they are mature enough to guide themselves.i don't care how old they are.your son is still home ,so it's not too late and don't outrule drug use .keep your eyes open,he may think he know all the answers and don't know squat.from mother to mother,let me tell you.a lot of the younger generation black and white in south carolina are disrespectful and they don''t care.keep a close eye on your son.these are our babies we must protect them.good luck !!!

1 mom found this helpful

Read the books Beautiful Boy and Tweaked. It will help you with tough love. Drug test him. Force him into treatment. Force him into a GED and work. Go to Al Anon. There are many treatment options but the longer you wait the worse it will get. If he is dealing, turn him over to the law to make him accountable for treatment, education and employment. Read about addiction, intervention and treatment. Your son will use you until he destroys you and your husband. Do not let that happen.

1 mom found this helpful

My heart so goes out to you! I have not experienced this with my child but my mother has with my two older brothers.
I am sorry to say they were so disrespected as children. My mom never knew about it when they were young. She was a single mom who had to work and do her best. They did the trouble/drug thing to escape. They both ended up getting jobs... They really needed help. They needed to be "Scared Straight" and have very good counseling and outside safe support very young. Scared Straight is a program I looked into while in college interested in becoming a mentor. Check it out. I am very sad to say they both committed suicide. I am not saying this is what will happen in your case, but I beg you don't just sit back. Seek out programs, take action, and be serious about your approach. I have a friend who may be able to offer some mentoring support or know of some suggestions. If you don't find the answers with him keep on seeking! His name is Dr. Michael Scimeca, Roswell, GA. You can call even if you live far away.
In the end the truth is we all have to make our own choices. Just do your personal best. That is all you can do.
Best of everything to you. All the moms here are pulling for your family. I hope all our blessings can be immediate lightening bolts of support for you!

1 mom found this helpful

Sorry to hear that, I kind of know what your going through. My son was 16 at the time that I found some stolen goods in his room while cleaning it up - hid them and then one night I smelled pot coming from his room so I called the police. I've called the police on him twice, he knows that I am not afraid of calling for help. Later my son told me of places he'd go to get pot which was by the house or places he'd drive to get it. He is now 17, very smart and has great potential but says he enjoys smoking pot. A police officer told him that if he wanted to smoke pot not to do it in our house - to honor us as his parents. If he has done any pot I don't know but I do know that it's not done in our house. If he happens to be out of the house check his room carefully, call the police and tell him what you know otherwise they can say that you were contributing to the delinquency of a minor. It's for his own good, what if a drug deal goes wrong and they come after you or your other children? Your not helping him any by not saying anything. What does your husband say about this? Is he involved in his sons life?

I have 4 children, 24, 20, 17 & 11 but unfortunately after 25 years of marriage my husband didn't care enough to stay married to work on it so we are in the midst of a divorce. Very painful.

1 mom found this helpful

Dont be embarrassed! You need to think of the safety and security of your family as well as their long term wellbeing. I think you already know the answer to your question as to wheather or not he is dealing. You and your husband should consider calling the local police dept to ask for their advise. I am sure your son is a wonderful and caring person, but he might not be that same person when confronted about drug dealing. Therefore, getting an officers opinion might help. In addition, if this is true your son needs to get help NOW before he ruins his life and possibly yours as well. BEST OF LUCK!!!

1 mom found this helpful

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