19 answers

I Need to Know How to Get More Patience!

I'm pretty sure my son has reached his terrible twos! I spend all day today yelling at him to "put that down" or "close that" or "don't touch that, go to time out!" I know he is just curious and he needs to explore. But I'm beginning to hate the sound of my own voice, it always seems to be yelling! I just wish I had more patience, I even find myself wanting to slap his hands more often and I feel bad. I always envisioned myself as calm patient mommy but I'm realizing that it isn't that easy. So how can I keep my cool and not yell so much with my son acting this way, getting into EVERYTHING?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

When my son was 2, I could have been YOU! It sounds sooo familiar! He got into everything. He was always a happy little boy, and he'd have a smile on his face and the look of an angel even while he was destroying the house and everything around him! Eventually, I became very patient with him. That's because he finally moved out of the house back in September! LOL He's 19 and moved to college. He's still headstrong and determined, and very charming. But when he was little, it seemed like all I ever did was provide all the negatives in his life. Even when I was able to be patient, it took a huge amount of effort on my part.

I agree with everyone who suggested something of a "safe zone". We set up a play area in the house which was right next to my office. (I work from home.) Everything in there was ok to be touched, pummeled, pulled apart, and played with anyway he wanted. And that's what he did. I didn't worry about the mess. I had to just decide that anything broken or messy was A-OK in there. I had firm rules about other things that still stand to this day. No eating except at a table. (That rule no longer applies to sporting events on the big-screen on weekends when the family room because the "Man Cave" for my three teenage sons and my husband.) Indoor voices used in the house. (Again, rule suspended in the Man Cave. LOL) And a reasonable age-appropriate expectation for clean up at the end of the day. When the boys were toddlers, that meant simply tossing things in big baskets. Now that they're grown, that includes cleaning toilets. LOL

There's light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a looong tunnel. Try to get some down-time for you every now and then so that you can recharge. We're always the most impatient when we're tired and stressed. Provide safe-zones and safe activities when you can. Try not to sweat the small stuff, and be realistic about what you classify as "small" and "large" stuff.

1 mom found this helpful

J.,
I know what you mean. I have a son who will be 2 1/2 the end of December and he is the same way, whining, crying and whatever else. I have a daughter who will be 7 in 2 weeks who is home due to the teacher strike in Seneca Valley. My family and I are new to the area, we just moved here from VA. The stress of the move, strike plus the terrible 2's is overwhelming sometimes. I also look forward to nap time. As with my daughter it is something that they have to out grow. Hang in there and good luck :) Also how do you like the mom to mom biz? I have seem it on line and was wondering how it works. I would like to work part time from home or out of the house, need to find daycare first though.

Thanks,
S.

More Answers

When my son was 2, I could have been YOU! It sounds sooo familiar! He got into everything. He was always a happy little boy, and he'd have a smile on his face and the look of an angel even while he was destroying the house and everything around him! Eventually, I became very patient with him. That's because he finally moved out of the house back in September! LOL He's 19 and moved to college. He's still headstrong and determined, and very charming. But when he was little, it seemed like all I ever did was provide all the negatives in his life. Even when I was able to be patient, it took a huge amount of effort on my part.

I agree with everyone who suggested something of a "safe zone". We set up a play area in the house which was right next to my office. (I work from home.) Everything in there was ok to be touched, pummeled, pulled apart, and played with anyway he wanted. And that's what he did. I didn't worry about the mess. I had to just decide that anything broken or messy was A-OK in there. I had firm rules about other things that still stand to this day. No eating except at a table. (That rule no longer applies to sporting events on the big-screen on weekends when the family room because the "Man Cave" for my three teenage sons and my husband.) Indoor voices used in the house. (Again, rule suspended in the Man Cave. LOL) And a reasonable age-appropriate expectation for clean up at the end of the day. When the boys were toddlers, that meant simply tossing things in big baskets. Now that they're grown, that includes cleaning toilets. LOL

There's light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a looong tunnel. Try to get some down-time for you every now and then so that you can recharge. We're always the most impatient when we're tired and stressed. Provide safe-zones and safe activities when you can. Try not to sweat the small stuff, and be realistic about what you classify as "small" and "large" stuff.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi! I'm right there with you with my 18 month old. I could give you tips and techniques, but some days... the only thing that works is to just stop and pray and ask the Lord for patience! :) The mornings that I start out in prayer and reading my Bible are always better and more patient days. *sigh* One of these days I'll realize that I should be doing this every morning without fail. Good luck to you and your cutie. :)

Try to create some 2-year-old zones for him, where he can play safely. Pack up all your pretty and fragile stuff and put it away for a year or two. Make sure you get him out everyday. Get enough sleep for yourself. When all else fails, walk away for a few minutes to regain your composure.
I struggle mightily with patience. Sunday, I meditated for a little while. It didn't seem to be working. But Monday I was calmer.

if it's a matter of him trying to touch things that he shouldn't, try to arrange a time when it's just you (or you and hubby, if that will help) and remove as much of the temptations as possible. don't look at things as an adult, look at them in the eyes, and from the eye level, of a 2 year old. if you remove things that he really shouldn't have, it will help. he'll still get into things, but it won't make you so nervous if he's getting into the row of cookbooks versus the spice rack.

if you don't have a seperate toy room, try and corner off a section of a living room or dining room and dedicate it just to him and his things. this way, when he does start to get into things, he can be re-directed to his own area.

another good way to let him explore, but keep it safe, it keep your tupperware or pots and pans down low. he can get into those drawers or cupboards to play with the things when you're in the kitchen, but he can't do harm with those.

hope the ideas help!

hey I hear ya.....my daughter is only 9 months and my patience is gone! i know she's only a baby but when she cries and won't go down for a nap, i find myself cursing and regretting motherhood, but then when she's asleep i feel guilty. I also get frustrated at feeding time when she won't eat the food, she only wants the bottles, thats another time I start yelling......I don't have much advice as I have lost my patience, my best way of dealing with it is putting her in the crib and walking away for a few minutes, i also try to think, she's only going to be this young for so long so i should be enjoying every moment! good luck

2 things...do not sweat the small stuff (as long as he is safe and not being destructive). Leave the room and count to 10 when you feel the urge to swat his hand or begin to lose your cool. Repeat the above over and over and over....it does not seem to get any easier as they get older...ha ha ha

I know how you feel. Sometimes it feels like all I do is yell. I know that people say you should leave everything where it is and teach your child not to touch them. However, I think there is a happy medium. There should definately be a place in your home where you can just walk away from your child for a few moments and know that they'll be okay till you regain your composure. That's the best thing to do. Walk away and take a few minutes to decide the best way to handle things. Good Luck.

Theres a really good book called, "The no Cry Discipline Solution" by Pantley. She has very gentle ideas to enforce discipline that work well. I think that word terrible twos should be changed to discovering and challenging self will.

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