I Need Some Re-assurance Please!!!

Autism i think not. It seems like that is the favorite thing for people to label kids. My oldest daughter was very shy with strangers and wont take anything, talk or let them touch her. One doctor wanted to put her in a program. She is a navy brat and didnt have very much socialization and then a big move. We joined a playgroup and in a couple of months she opened up. A year later she is in VPK, smart as a whip, talkative, and running around with other kids. She still wont take things from strangers or talk to them unless i say its ok. I have found a different doctor who takes her time with us, speaks softly, and is just great so my daughter will talk to her about stuff.

Try joining a playgroup and remember 2yrs have their own way of doing things. Give him some time. My friend's daughter did have a hard time with speech and got her into a program when she was in 4 and in preschool. She couldn't say words like milk.

My thoughts are with you. My son had similar struggles & was diagnosed with autism by the age of five & a half. Early intervention is key. Best of luck.

First, the county evaluates, they do not diagnosis. Autism would require a diagnosis. Second, when they ask you questions look for the concept behind the question and answer that. One of the things that drives me crazy with these developmental tests, is someone decided what a "typical" child of a certain age should be doing, for example drawing stick figures. If you cannot do that they question your developmental readiness. I one time articulated my frustration to a doctor by saying:"add swallowing pills dry to the developmental list, and my son will do better than most adults." He smiled,and said I was right.

Our school and our pediatrician were questioning if my son had autism. We took him to a neurodevelopmental pediatrician and he said no. Our pediatric nuerologist also said no. My son has a mixed expressive-receptive language disorder, having to do with an auditory issue, which appears to be clearing up rapidly now that he is 5 and off the epilepsy medication he was on. I would recommend getting him evaluated privately if you can. You'll not only get a better diagnosis but if they are good people, you'll get the help and support you need.

That said,my husband didn't talk until he was 3. He is a lawyer. My brother didn't talk at all until he was 2.5-3 and he is a published author. My daughter has a boy in her class that was evaluated at 2 for a language issue, but he now appears to be one of the better readers in the class.

All three of these people "self corrected." However, your son stands a better chance if you have him diagnosed and you get him services, sooner rather than later. The big thing is no matter what "they" say; no matter what "diagnosis" they give your son -- you know way better what he is capable of, and you need to push him to do all that he can. My husband was very ill at 25years old -- "they" said he wouldn't live; he'd be a veggie for the rest of his life; he would never walk; and he would never have children. He finished law school a year late; passed the BAR on the first try; walks fine; and has two kids! "They" don't know everything.

I would consider getting an OT evaluation also. They can be overlooked and are often very enlightening.

Lastly, you did nothing wrong. You son is fine. Just love him lots!

I am sure your evaluation in Dec will be very telling. But as a "non- professional" a lot of what he does sounds normal to me. He sounds very bright just doing things at his own pace. I did not utter a word till I was almost 2.5 years old, and when I spoke it was full sentences. My mom said she always knew I was ok, even though the rest of the family went to church daily to pray for me(lol). She said she knew I was silently watching and observing and would speak when I felt like it. My son never crawled just did an "army crawl" using his elbows while on his tummy to get around and didn't walk. At 18months he was still just pulling himself up and then boom almost 19months his first steps were a controlled dead on run. And he has no issues. I don't say this to turn a blind eye but just to let you know sometimes, it's just the kid, nothing more than that. I wish you and your son all the best and if he does end up having a challenge, you are at early intervention, so don't hit yourself on the head, you are a great momma.

I'm no expert, but he just seems to have a stubborn and introspective personality. With what you have said, I would not consider him autistic. Based on a few simple actions, you cannot determine a child has autism. Stop reading and rereading symptoms on the internet and stop punishing yourself. He is your baby and no matter what, you love him.

He's learning, he's communicating, he responds to you, he performs small tasks easily... The sleeping thing, normal... the picky eater thing, normal.

As for food, You really need to let him feed himself. If he doesn't, you pick it up and try again later. He will not starve! Leave snacks down at his level in small containers... grape halves, crackers, cheese, tiny pepperonis ... he may want to do it on his own without you watching. It sounds like you hover a bit too much and he doesn't want to be hovered over.

As for talking, if he makes sounds, don't ask him to repeat them. That will make him more self-conscious. Maybe repeat something he says but don't look in his direction. He is listening to everything! Don't talk in baby talk... always communicate the way you want him to communicate. Short well-formed sentences are best. "Please, take this to the trash." "Please bring me the 'A' block." If he can perform these small requests, he is on track fine.

You are a great mom! Just love your little guy! :)

Well, you will know more after you evaluation with the specialist and in time. Keep in mind that if you can get him in to speech therapy and maybe other services like occupational therapy, it won't hurt, even if he turns out to be ok.

I have to echo some other things that were said by Bee's mom, my daughter also wasn't big on waving or pointing (I don't think she ever pointed to things) but she is indeed a perfectly normal, healthy child, with no developmental delays whatsoever.

I do truly believe that overdiagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorders is rampant because of exactly situation like yours, having some behaviors that can also be observed in ASD does not mean that your child has ASD.
There is no use in worrying yourself silly, so try to relax and continue to advocate for him.
Good luck!

I'm not an expert either, but I think your son sounds very normal in many ways. The fact that when he knows you are listening to him he clams up....that is a super good sign in my opinion. It clearly indicates he has an awareness of people being aware of him. Do you know what I mean? It may sound like he tunes out and turns off, but he obviously knows what he's doing.
I'm all for evaluations and things like that, don't get me wrong, but the problem is exactly what you're going through....one person tells you one thing, another person tells you another, now a third person may tell you something else all together and you'll still have that nagging worry over which one is right.
All kids are different and do things at different times. My daughter waved bye-bye, but she did it backwards. Meaning her hand was turned like she was waving at herself. I did daycare for a little boy who didn't talk. His mother was worried, but I just continued to talk to him like a normal person and he was actually super smart. He just quietly soaked everything in and when he was good and ready for it all to come back out, his mother was wishing he had an "off" button. He also walked late, but he took his first steps at my house and he was so proud of himself. He would not do it for his mom, he just plopped down and she really didn't believe me. He walked at my house every day after that, but she'd never seen him do it and thought I was just trying to make her feel better until one day she peeked in when she thought he was asleep and caught the little booger walking around his room.
The kid who talked and walked "late" turned out to be a frigging science genius and a chess whiz.

The main thing you need to know is that you haven't done anything wrong or failed your son in any way. Period. I think you need to focus on all the things that are perfectly normal about him for his age and keep in mind that just like all kids are different, all "experts" can have differing and subjective opinions about certain things.
So, he doesn't wave bye-bye. He says it instead. He knows what it means.
He doesn't point out the window, but he brings you books.
Give yourself a break and don't feel like you have to take certain things way too literally.

I wish you the very best.

Hi M.'s Mom,
First I want to say that your son, whether or not he has Autism, is "okay"!
Just wanted to remind you that he is the same child today that he was the day before someone suggested there may be autism involved.
My suggestion to you is to take advantage of any & all service you can get for him!
Is he currently getting speech therapy or do you need to wait until your Dec. appt? Can you pay for some therapy sessions out of pocket until then?
I can tell you this: You did nothing wrong to "cause" it if (IF) he does have a level of autism and only the professionals can offer a diagnosis.
Relax, get him what he needs, and love that boy of yours!

.

First things first....relax. I know first hand how unnerving it can be to have strangers evaluate your son by standard guidelines. But look, every child is different. Not all children fit into the mold the masses have made. My youngest daughter was also speech delayed. Before we got to the bottom of everything, we went through everything you've stated above. We had her privately evaluated by a pediatric speech pathologist group, then also through Early Childhood Intervention. At 2 and 1/2 yrs. of age, she was recommended to begin speech therepy through our public school system when she turned 3yrs. old. She had two hour sessions twice weekly in a classroom setting with three other children with the same areas of weakness. There were 2 pathologists who worked with her consistantly and progress was SLOW. We continued this schedule for 2 yrs., then, when she went to Kindergarten, she required only 1 hr. sessions twice every week. She graduated out of the program at the end of our last school year. She still has some issues with fluidity and eye contact, but she is communicating beautifully and effectively. She is a happy and well adjusted 6 yr. old little girls. Her memories of her time in speech are positive. I know it's hard for you to see the light at the end of this tunnel, but with time and patience, you will. There is no overnight "fix" for this, and it will take lots of attention. You're on the right path.

I think a lot of times, us mom's forget that every child develops differently and in there own time. At 2 some kids talk very well, some not at all.

Obviously I'm no doctor and I've never been through what you are going through. I'm curious though...do you and your husband talk to your son a lot?
And how do you talk to him?
I've seen some kids that don't talk around that age and I've seen a pattern that their parents talk to them in baby talk. So they either mimic that, or don't talk at all.

I think no matter what, your son is fine. He obviously is a very bright lil guy.
I would look at his behaviors and first, think if there is anything around him that may be causing him to act the way he does.
Sometimes a lot of things are learned behaviors.

Either way, You're son will be ok.
Good luck

1st of all - if he does have autism or something else that causes the delay (or is just simply delayed) - it is NOT your fault! There is nothing you did or didn't do that caused him to be that way.

2nd - it sounds like you are on the right track. I've heard that early intervention is best, so if he does have autism or something else, getting him the assistance as soon as possible is the best thing. I don't know much about autism but if he's making eye contact, I think that is a good sign. It could be that he is simply stubborn and only does things when he wants to.

It's hard when one specialist says one thing and the other specialist says another. I suggest taking him to a third specialist. Also, what else did your ped say? Did she think it seemed like something more than a speech delay? Get him all the help he needs and know that no matter what, you have been the best mom you can be. I do suggest stopping feeding him because he's old enough (even with a speech delay and/or autism) to feed himself. He will do it when he's hungry enough. If he does have austim or a speech delay, you'll want him to learn to be as self sufficient as he can be - so you'll need to figure out what you should be continuing to do for him and what he should be able to do on his own.

Good luck!

I agree with 'Bee's Mom'.

My kids (I have 2- a 7yr old daughter and a 27 month old son) did things at very different paces.
My daughter gave up her bottle at 10mos old and never looked back. Never crawled, but scooted on her one knee across the floor and walked within a couple weeks after that before the age of 1. Barely spoke a word until after she turned 2 and now won't stop talking. Wasn't very social and now is very social. She had her meltdowns in Pre-k and Kindergarten the first week. And she would 'hide' when someone would 'catch' her chatting away or singing or dancing. Sometimes she'd get mad if you made a fuss (in a good way) about the things we'd 'catch' her doing. She refused to show you what she knew and still does. She's just fine.
My son still won't give up his night time bottle (insert gasps here). Started speaking full sentences at 18mos and answered the Dr's questions at his 18mo well visit. Mr. Social with everyone. Loves attention and affection. Did the army crawl for a couple months and didn't walk until after he turned 1. loves loves loves daycare/school. And praise encourages him to do just about anything. He knows 1-20 in English, 1-10 in Spanish, & 1-10 in French. He knows his ABC's.

As far as coming to get you to show you something... That didn't start with either of my kids until well after they turned 2. (son just now started doing that)

Some kids seem to be 'artistically minded' which I find to be the ones that take their time and won't show you anything (including speech) until they have it 'perfected'. And then, there's the 'mechanically minded' ones that not only like to show, but tend to learn by praise and mimicking everything (not just speech).

I could be wrong, but he sounds like a 2 1/2 year old to me...(a shy one, at that) I posted on this sight a couple of years ago about my DD. I didnt have her evaluated because I thought at 2, it was jumping the gun. She will be 4 in Feb, and that kid wont shut up!!!! She is FOREVER talking!!!
She also wasnt a big "waver"...I dont understand WHY that is even an issue? Perhaps he doesnt wave because he is shy...
I know I will get criticized for this next statement, but I am saying anyway. If I were you, and I'm not, but if I were, I would not give juice to drink (my DD has never had a glass)..The benefits of getting a serving of fruit is FAR OUTWEIGHED by the amount of sugar that is in it. It hypes them up (perhaps that aids in the tossing and turning at night) and it rots their teeth. This is just my opinion.
Oh, and lastly, have never heard of a 2 year old that comes and gets you to point to something outside....that is also puzzling to me.

Good Luck to you and your son....

Hi:
I have a son who is in VPK right now. 2 years ago I had him tested with the Early Steps (early intervention program), he had a therapist come to our house to interact with him. I started giving him Omega 3 gummy vitamins and these gummy things started helping so much. He has speech delay still but you can understand more words than before. While he was starting speech therapy I also took him to a baby sign class and that helped us wonders. He was able to let me know when he was thirsty and hungry.

Now he is 4 and very talkative and vivacious. He drives me crazy!! I am still getting used to that he tries to talk a lot.

Get your baby therapy and don't forget to give him Omega 3 gummy (they sell them in any pharmacy, Target or WalMart) and you will see a big difference.

Hope this helps!

Sounds to me like you're doing everything right. Your son does not sound like he has autism...he's just developing at his own rate & in his own time. Sounds like he may be shy, too. Like HappyMommy said about her friends, my son didn't start really talking until he was 2+. When he did start speaking, it was in complete sentances. It was like he didn't want to communicate with us until he was truly able to. I had collegues at work tell me he was very mature for years. Well, long story short, he tested in the 99% in gifted when he started 1st grade. Taking a while to speak is many times a gifted trait (found that out from the lady that tested him). So keep up the good work & see the the dr that I see recommended if you can in Tampa. Good luck!

ohh dear I totally understand your concern we are mother...my 18 months old daughter wont respond to her name don’t even have a actual word, not very good at following simple direction.some time she will do it some time she will not, but she plays with my son plays with the toy appropriately, have good expression. If your son is flowing direction then he should be ok. My friends son who is 30 months Sais only 4/5 words..Have him check up and have faith on god that’s all I can say.

Dear Mom,
My oldest did not speak when he was 2 (or speak much) -- it did not really bother me much as I was really busy and I assumed he was more of a quiet child(partially true). He played well with his toys and was good with others, and communicated when needed. But at 2.5, every other child was talking and mine was hardly talking .. turned out he had a minor ear problem and he needed an operation -- it was difficult at that time to see your child have surgery, but it was a routine surgery for the Dr. who did that. He started talking within 1 week way more than he ever did (few complete sentences in the whole day), but still much less than other kids. He is still that way . He is not much of a talker, but reader and is more involved in building things than talking to a friend. He is extrmely bright and gifted child and often gifted children speak late because they are busy learning and doing things. He is 11 now .. and tells me that MOM, not everyone is a chatter like you .. Some kids are shy or just naturally not into talking much (only when needed). No need to worry yourself .. you are a human and doing what you can. I hope there is not any serious problem with your son, but even if there is, first of all YOU have NOT caused it .. so do not beat yourself on it. You love him and take care of him to the best of your ability, that is the only thing in your hand, rest in in god's hand.
Take Care

Sounds like some selective mutism tendencies (choosing to not speak) which could easily be outgrown... make sure he's getting good nutrition and not being exposed to toxins, help reduce stress and use brain-development supporting music. Don't worry so much about what an evaluation may find - even if there is any ASD/autism pattern present you can learn to properly nourish and detox a child and his environment and in many cases have the condition go away. Just be aware of anything stressful that could have triggered his patterns - stress or change in the family environment, medical procedure or vaccination, change in feeding, etc., and be careful to help him feel relaxed and not receive any unnecessary stresses. Kids are usually quite resilient, even though no parent is perfect most kids develop without any significant problems. Don't judge yourself if a kid has some delay or deficit - it's just an opportunity to learn more about what nourishes and helps kids develop optimally. Kids are unique and some are naturally inclined to develop at a different pace than others no matter what care they receive.

I had a son that did not speak until he was between 3 and 4. He would point and squeel or scream. If we couldn't figure out what he wanted he would get mad and scream and/or cry. We finally get him to start saying words by him pointing to something squeeling and when we figured out what it was we would say the word and say please. If he wouldn't say the name and say please we'd put it back and let him cry and scream. We'd let him scream for a minute or two and then tell him the name and please. We had a hard time at first, but once he figured out he would get what he wanted with the name and please he started to talk.

I personally think he was just lazy and stubborn. He just didn't want to put forth the effort to learn the words. By the time he went to kindergarden he was talking like all my other kids at that age. He graduated high school with a 3.8-3.9 average on a 4 point scale. He got an "A" in his high school speech class. He's working on his BS in Animation and Graphic Arts.

Good luck to you and yours.

(Says the mom of 2 in their 20's, and an ESE senior) Even if something is wrong, I wouldn't worry about it. Kids have normal lives with a lot of stuff these days. If he has any kind of autism, it would be the really mild Asperger's. I know children who have had this, who have graduated high school (SAIL) and are now at FSU.

Seriously, the more you worry, the worse it will get. Just do normal stuff, behave normally, ENJOY his preschool years (they don't ever come back), play catch, read to him. AND, get him TESTED, tested, tested. SO, SO much stuff can be almost eliminated if it is caught early and they are trained out of it. These days, disabilities aren't a problem - uneducated disabilities are a problem.

And, unless you shook the baby and aren't telling us, whatever is wrong isn't your fault either. Things happen. Learn all you can, join support groups and enjoy those friendships, and live your life. Maybe God thinks you are a wonderful parent who can be successful at this.

Omg dont ever think this is your fault!! While youre waiting for the specialist look into food diversions with things like autism. I know ppl who's son had autism and they changed his diet and saw DRAMATIC changes. Its not your fault at all, its linked alot to pesticides and such found int he fruits and veggies we all eat. If anything you could have your son on the healthiest diet and not even know like alot of ppl! Try switching to organic or doing a garden for a while.
BUT PLEASE do not think this is your fault!! We can only control so much and deal with things that come up afterwards. You're doing what you can afterwards and remember they havent even confirmed any of this, he might be a shy boy who wants to develop at his own rate. When he does talk and stuff make him feel like he's the greatest thing ever! I throw my son a jumpy party when he eats right cause I ahve a problem eater. Just go to every appointment you can and get the help you can but remember, nothings been confirmed. He's still your little boy!

I agree with so many of the answers from other moms - never blame yourself. It serves no purpose in helping your son now. Focus on what you can do for him.

My son had many of the same symptoms and behaviors your son has. Last year, at the age of 5, he was diagnosed as PDD-NOS, which is one of the most mild conditions on the Autistic Spectrum. He's been in speech therapy since the age of 18 months, has both private speech twice a week and speech in the school one a week. He also goes to ABA Therapy three times a week. He's happy, healthy, and developing at his own pace. Please don't stress about what he does and doesn't do, just focus on what can be done to help him succeed in his own ways.

My heart goes out to you as I have been in your shoes more than once! I have two boys. My youngest is also speach delayed and said very little at age two; however, when tested by the early steps program found nothing wrong with his other skills. To be honest, I don't recall him ever really waiving good-bye at all, nor do I remember any of them asking me if he did. My Step-Mother is a speach therapist, but unfortunately did not live here to help me with his speach. She did tell me that his speach problem was partly my fault (which broke my heart). Basically, I was too good of a mom - always gave him what he needed before he needed it - didn't push him to ask or repeat things, just gave it to him. Once I started pushing him a bit more he showed improvement.

My other son has hearing loss - it is only in one ear, but he needs to wear a hearing aid to hear properly. His hearing loss is the result of a bone in the ear being enlarged. This bone is completely formed at 8 weeks of gestation. You barely know you are pregnant and this bone is already formed. I blamed myself for this for almost a year, but then realized that I did nothing wrong. I ate right, I took care of myself, I listened to the doctors, etc.

From reading your post, I don't get the sense that your son has autism! I know children with all levels of autism and none of what you say points in that direction in my experience. I know your doctor told you to get him evaluation by a developmental specialist, but I would like to make another suggestion if I may. Keep your appointment with the developmental specialist - it certainly can't hurt to hear what they have to say - but make an appointment with a neurologist. Dr. Millan is a great audiologist in Tampa. I have seen him since my first was 8 weeks old (did I mention he was premie too). He is very candid and old fashioned! He will pull out text books and photo copy stuff for you to read in order to ensure you understand. He is well noted in Tampa for his great work and came highly recommended to me from several top Drs in Tampa.

On the flip side of all of this. We, as mothers, always feel that anything that goes wrong with our children is our fault. When they get a cold - it is our fault because we didn't make them wash their hands enough or we let them play outside in the rain because they were having fun, etc. You can't blame yourself! You just need to know what is going on and why so that you can deal with it. He is still your little boy and it sounds to me like he is a very smart little boy and that makes it all the more difficult!!! :-) I always say to my youngest (who is almost 5) that stubborness (sp) is a disease he got from his daddy! :-)

Good luck to you!
Sam

I would lean towards the 1st evaluation, although I am no expert, nor in your situation. But, it sounds like he is developing fine and at his own pace. For the talking, well, one of my closest friends did not peep a word until age 3, and her son was exactly the same, not until 3. They went from not talking to full sentences, as if they just didn't want to talk, but they knew how. The son is 5 now and amazingly bright. The whole family is very intelligent and well educated. Not talking until 3 certainly didn't hold them back in life! You sound like a wonderful Mom, don't let this get you down, your son will be fine! :)

I read your post and it took me back to when I was in your shoes. I know how scared and confussed you are feeling. My youngest son, my sunshine, also had speach delay. I didnt think much of it other than since he was the youngest, he didnt need to talk since we gave him everything he wanted. But when he was 3, he started pre-school. The public school does speeach and hearing screening for free to catch "problems" early and begin giving the child the help they need before they start school. I received a letter stating he needed further evaluation. So the process began. Autism was a concern, since it is so highly diagnosed. He was tested through the public school system and we also did our own testing privately. (this can be very costly but we didnt have to wait) Both evaluations came back with developmental delays. No signs of autism, but they did say it might be to early to catch if it was a mild case. Needless to say, the rollercoater ride began! He started kindergarten and by the middle of the school year, the teacher set a conference and stated he was not progressing and we should consider retaining him in kindergarten another year. After my own struggle of not wanting him to repeat kindergarten and countless efforts and speech therapy, education specialist and tutoring, we agreed and retained him in kindergarten. He is now in 2nd grade but I am homeschooling him. He needs more time to process information and one on one attention. But he is coming along. Take one day at a time. your answer will come and you will make the decisions best for your child. You are not alone, I know it is scary but try not to compare him with others. that will even make you feel worse. Once I started concentrating in his abilities and how I can help him do more and better, things started working out better. if you need to talk, I'll be here.
Good luck and enjoy your little M..
H.

My oldest son, who is 5 now, did everything early. Teething, crawling, walking... everything but talking. My son spoke his first full sentence at 3 and a half. He could talk, he would say things like "outside", "ju ju" (juice)", "bye bye", "I wud you" (I love you) and things like that. He could understand me and he would follow directions and that gave me comfort.

It did not bother me until my neighbors son, who is a year and a half younger, surpassed my son in speech. Then I was afraid that something was wrong... He was evaluated by a speech therapist who said that he was behind and she recommended speech therapy. My insurance will only pay for speech therapy if it is the result of medical or developmental problems, which my son did not fall into either category.

We talked to his pediatrician who told me that he was not concerned but that if we were he would recommend we see a speech therapist. By this time I was halfway through my second pregnancy and did not have the money to pay out of pocket. After the appointment with his pediatrician he seemed to talk more and more. Other people could not always understand him but I could. When he started Pre K he was entered into the speech therapy program and he is doing great. I also found out during school last year that I (if I had known) could have made arrangements for him to receive speech therapy at the school before he ever even started school. You may want to see if you can do that where you live. I sure wish someone would have told me that when we first expressed our concerns.

You are not a failure and you have not done anything wrong. Best of luck to you!

*********************************************************************************

I just read Tina B.'s response and it sounded so similar to my son. It also reminded me that when my second was born, 2 months after we expressed our concerns about his speech to our pediatrician, my oldest walked into the delivery room and said "Where's my baby?" Still melts my heart. Again, best of luck.

No need to fall apart, my son was exactly the same as your son. Was still not talking at all by 2 1/2 and I put him in the Florida "Early Steps" Program. It is free through the state and a therapist came to my home. He then entered pre-school at three, again free through early steps, and is in his second year of pre-school...He is talking like a champ and all is well...Don't stress, give them a call and they will send someone to your home to evaluate him to see if he qualifies..Do not pay for a therapist if you don't have too, because it is extremely expensive..None of them will tell you about early steps because they want your money....Best of luck whatever you decide...

It is nothing you did! Some children just need a little more time and extra loving guidance to feel secure and confident to speak up. Be patient...and no matter if you think it is helping or not...whether he shows it or not...keep working with him. He's probably listening and hearing you just fine...he'll come out of his shell! Listen to the doctors and try to apply any helpful tips they give you. Most of all, trust your motherly instinct. :)

No need to fall apart, my son was exactly the same as your son. Was still not talking at all by 2 1/2 and I put him in the Florida "Early Steps" Program. It is free through the state and a therapist came to my home. He then entered pre-school at three, again free through early steps, and is in his second year of pre-school...He is talking like a champ and all is well...Don't stress, give them a call and they will send someone to your home to evaluate him to see if he qualifies..Do not pay for a therapist if you don't have too, because it is extremely expensive..None of them will tell you about early steps because they want your money....Best of luck whatever you decide...

I work with children with these issues. Some of the issues you have described does send up red flags for me. Try to get near a bigger city then you live for a better chance at therpapies that actually work. Try to find a SIPT certified occupational therapist, someone who does primary reflex integration like Masgutova Method and a speech path who knows programs such a Kaufman, Beckman, PROMPT, and others aimed at oral motor development and waking up the mouth and motor systems. Consdier diet to be an extremely integral part of his condition. GFCF diets are reversing some kids from symptoms. Heal the gut with probiotics, supplements, and have him stay away from TV, and other electronics that lock vision and do not allow the eyes to move. Give your son tons and tons of movement activities. Crashing, crawling, climbing, pushing, pulling, lifting, carrying heavy things, swinging, sliding, swimming, rocking, twirling, spinning. ANy questions or reassurance contact me.

I can't offer much, but I can tell you that my daughter tosses in bed for awhile too. Could be any number of things. Being a picky eater is nothing to sweat either, my daughter will often not eat unless I feed her too. And she is a perfectly normal healthy child. Totally normal.
The only way you could have failed your child would be to not love him. Clearly you are very concerned about him and love him dearly, so no matter what, take comfort in knowing that you have not failed your child. You sound like a wonderful mom.

Hi mom,

I just wanted to say that whether or not your son has delays or ends up on the autism spectrum it was nothing you did or didn't do. You are a good mom who loves her son. Don't waste time beating yourself up or feeling guilty, put your energy into getting your son the help he needs. All the best!

You are doing just fine. Personally I'd stop with all the so called specialists. Look at his food, check Feingold- this guy was brilliant long before anyone else. Get all sugar out of his diet, also processed food of ANY kind. Feingold has support groups, join one, also WestonPrice.com can tell you about good food and where to get it. They also have chapters so you can join one of those for support.
Behaviour and diet are linked in ways that big pharma would like you to not know, so each of us have to be responsible for ourselves and especially our children. As Dr. Feingold noted years ago perservatives and food dyes make children act differently, and sugar, lord have mercy, anyone who has seen people after 31 October knows that sugar has an effect on behaviour.
So get those out of his diet.
I think again staying away from these so called specialists is important- ask yourself-- What is their solution?- Do you want him on drugs? No! Of course not. And remember that these so called diagnoses they give, are just things, words that have been made up by psychiatrist, and a generation ago these labels weren't here- so how could they even mean something.
Kids grown at different rates, and your son appears at an end of the bell curve- please don't let someone put this made up label on your son that will effect him the rest of his life. Make the food changes above, and join those groups, and lets see in six months where he is.
Your son is fine, the "specialists" are off.
best, k

Unfortunately, none of us are qualified to tell you with absolute certainty that your son is indeed okay. Everything you have described in your post sounds "normal" to me but he needs a trained professional to work with him one on one for that proper evaluation to be made.

Now, I can tell you that my first daughter was a late talker. She said one or two words here and there. If she wanted something she resorted to pointing to it and getting our attention by bringing us to whatever she wanted but she would stubbornly refuse to say anything I tried to get her to say. Since she was my first born, I did speak to my ped about her speech and although my ped at the time reassured me that every child has his/her own timetable for speech, he recommended that I have her evaluated by a speech therapist with our local Easter Seals. I took her for an evaluation and she checked out fine in all areas. Except for her speech and since she was under 3 years old at the time, we qualified for free once a week one hour speech therapy in our home. A woman came to my home once a week with various books and toys (things I already had), sat down on the floor with my daughter (something I had been doing all along) and played with her. I was doing that so I didn't see how this woman was going to help but it was free. She worked with my daughter for several months and at the end of the therapy my daughter was NOT talking any more than when the therapy began. I was pregnant with our second child during this time and once the baby was born it was like something magical occurred. My first born began talking! I remember my second child was maybe 3 weeks old and my first born just blurted out a full sentence. My husband (her daddy) and I just looked at each other in awe. I figured my daughter had been taking it all in ~ all the talking we did, all the reading we did, all the reinforcing her to say this or that ~ and one day all on her own she decided SHE was ready to show us what she could do and boy, we were blown away. Fast forward with child number two, she was an extremely late talker. She did not actively begin talking until she was well past 3 1/2 years old and since I knew her big sister was a late talker, I figured this was something that probably would repeat itself with siblings. Therefore I was not worried. I knew my child was capable of doing and saying what I wanted her to say but she was being stubborn. With my second daughter, she DID require speech once she entered the school system. When I enrolled her in kindergarten, I was concerned that she would have a problem because she had a hard time pronouncing various sounds and it was MY insistence that got her the speech therapy in school. I did not want my daughter to struggle in school, nor did I want her to be teased by other children because she could not pronounce certain sounds so she began speech therapy in kindergarten and was released at the end of second grade. To date, both my children speak very well, very clearly.

If I were you, I would continue to work with your son until you get him that second evaluation. A lot can change from now until then so get down on his level (the floor) and don't pressure him to say things but DO encourage it. Grab books, magazines and look through them together with you taking his finger and pointing and say, "this is a girl," "this is a cat, " "this cat is black." I think you get the idea. Have blocks? Have him help you build a tall tower with them. These are things the speech therapist did with my first daughter but I had already been doing that so it just really enforced what was expected from my daughter. Don't worry about things you cannot change. You cannot change that your son may have a speech delay but you CAN help him by reading to him, talking to him, playing with him in a way that is teaching him to talk and he won't even realize it.

As for the eating, I would stop feeding him. I honestly would. Can he eat with his hands? Some children do not like any kind of utensils. It's a skill that will be mastered in time but if he can eat with his hands, why not? I know it's messy but he and the things around him are washable. But you need to encourage him to do some of these things on his own, especially if you feel that he is capable of doing so. If he fusses because he wants your attention to feed him, make honest excuses like, "you go ahead and get started, mommy needs to finish making her lunch, or mommy needs to finish washing up these dishes." And see if he will self feed on his own this way.

Take a deep breath. Speech delay is not language delay, and speech delay is not autism. And even if your son does have some signs of autism, it is a wide spectrum disorder, and early intervention, which, at 2.5, you are getting in plenty of time, will make a huge difference. Early intervention is absolutely the right thing to do and only time will tell if the signs of autism she noticed in one session are actually that or are a symptom of mere language delay. She did not say he was autistic; she said she sees some symptoms.
The sleep issue is totally normal; both my kids are the same way.
The picky eater thing is totally normal; they go through phases.
Three things: 1. You said that your son understands simple instructions. Do you talk to him in complete sentences? Do you simplify your language excessively for him? If you want your son to understand and speak correct English, you need to model it when you talk to him. "Go trash this" is not how you would speak; don't speak that way to him. You would say, "John, please go put this in the trash." Don't dumb down your language or you will ending up dumbing down his language too. Simplify, but not too much.
2. I can't tell how the conversation actually went, but it seems like when the specialist asked you if he waves bye-bye, you said no and that was it. But you just told us he says bye-bye. Did you tell her that, or did you just say no and that was it? You need to give them all the information you have. She asked if he pointed. You said no. Did you also tell her he would look up? My son doesn't point either, he just doesn't. That by itself isn't much, but you need to really communicate with the specialists and ask them lots of questions. If your son is on the autism spectrum, you'll need their help.
3. Autism spectrum disorders (ASD) are social disorders primarily. Pay attention to how your son interacts with you. You said he has good eye contact. How does he play with you? How does he play with other kids? Has he been exposed to social situations? These are very relevant. Autistic kids are very bright typically, but the social disorder is signficant. If your son is very interactive that reduces the likelihood that his delays are due to ASD.
A few other things: Florida has state assistance money for autistic children, and I don't think it is income dependent. You can Google information on this and perhaps it can help you afford a specialist should one be necessary. And this is a tip that helps in all medical situations: write down your questions in a notebook as you think of them. Then bring that notebook to your son's next appointment. Write down the answers as she gives them to you, making sure you understand them. If you still feel confused, then ask someone to come to the appointment with you who can help you understand what is going on.
Also, ASD does not have to be socially crippling. Early intervention makes a world of difference. Do some research on speech and language delays and do some research on ASD; the more informed you are the better you will feel. Good luck.
I'll also add that a friend had a son who didn't talk at all at 2. He was just so motor driven, so super physically active, that he couldn't care less about language. Some kids are that way. Your son is probably fine, and these issues are not lifelong issues. By the time he's in kindergarten he'll be with the other kids most likely.

I sent you a private message but I also wanted to share that Alex had sleep problems too, we started him on 1.5 mg of melatonin 10 minutes before bedtime and that helped so much, we did not keep him on it long term, it was very effective, maybe a week or two of nightly dose then every other night then none and he has had no sleep issues since. I like to think that it was just a kinder way to train his body about when he should be asleep, he ( and we ) would get so worked up and stressed out over bedtime that it had become a fight and a nightmare. I would never recommend anyone giving their child any kind of medication natural or otherwise without first asking their pediatrician.

Wanted to tell you again that you have not failed your son, and also to tell you that so much can happen in such a short amount of time with early intervention.

Don't sweat the small stuff, as long as he is eating enough to stay healthy, pick your battles...it could be a sensory issue.

So much of what you wrote sounds so much like my own son from a year ago that I just want to say, it does get better and you are very much not alone...don't stress over a "diagnosis" because even the people who are supposed to be experts in the field cannot seem to even agree...the best thing you can do is educate yourself and keep on being there for your son.
Take care
B.

Has your son's hearing been tested? Sometimes children who have a hard time hearing are later with their speech. There is no way you have done anything wrong no matter if there is an issue or not. Your son will be fine. Some children are shy and some children just don't need to talk a lot. Just pray and relax!