I Need Serious Advice About My Ex and Me Getting Back Together! Asap Please

A. - I am relatively new to this board, so know nothing about you or your past. But, as another mama said, he is your EX for a reason. You said it's because you didn't really try and give it a shot. There is a reason you didn't. Look back at your past together so that you remember what that was.
Also, NEVER start dating or even talking with someone about getting together with them until his marriage is DONE. That means the divorce is final. It is disrespectful on both of your parts teven be talking about getting together, much less physically being together. Lots of men say they are seperated or getting divorce and nothing comes of it. WAIT until the divorce is final. And then also realize that people may tell a story as to why a marriage didn't work, but it's not always true.
Relgion- Mormonism and Chritianity are two very different religions. If he was married in the temple it may be difficult to divorce.
Also, if a man doesn't claim his son or doesn't want to get close to his son, there is something wrong with that man. It is so easy to test for paternity. Shame on him for not being there for his son.
If my son's Bio-Dad ever came to me and said he wanted a chance there is no way in HELL it would ever happen. Plus he signed over his rights.
A., just go into this with your eyes WIDE open. Good luck to you, L.

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A.,

No matter the reasons now, he's your EX for a reason. I think it would be really hard on little Benjamin if Daddy left, and now he's back. At some level he would wonder if Daddy is leaving again, and that is a whole different can of worms to deal with.

It sounds like you're getting yourself on your own two feet and that you and your son are doing just fine the two of you. If another man were to enter into the picture, Benjamin would have issues. Most likely he will start acting out because he thinks that Robert is trying to take his Mommy away from him. I would not get back together with Robert for any reason.

As for the religion thing my husband is Mormon, and I'm Pagan. We make it work but it takes a lot of head shaking and agreeing to disagree on certain issues. We also take the effort to try and understand where the other is coming from.

I think you and Benjamin are fine without Robert coming back into the picture.

M.

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Hi A., and congratulations on your success, and getting on the road to a better life for yourself and for Benjamin! It sounds like you are taking control of your life, and embracing your independence and finding self-confidence in yourself--sounds like exactly what you need.

I agree with the other posters who said that rekindling a relationship with someone you left already, and who now wants to leave his wife, is NOT a good idea, for you, or for Benjamin, and for reasons having nothing to do with religion.

The other posters have covered them, but let me ask you to do yourself a favor: PLEASE think more of yourself and Benjamin, and get it into your head that you both deserve better than a yo-yo life. You are capable of making a good life for you both, and being happy without this guy, and really, I think you need to learn how to make yourself happy, before you think about being in another relationship.

All that aside, there's the fact that you and Robert seem to have never had a good relationship in the first place--why would it work now? Especially since there are yet *more* obstacles--ie, religion, your child is now old enough to be aware of and upset about Robert not being around if you two break up again, you will now have an ex to contend with(is she pregnant? Will there be other children in the picture?), and the probability that Robert may be the "grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence" type.

You've asked for our advice, and I think most of us think that you being EXes is for the best. Marda, Donna and Peg had some excellent words of wisdom for you, and I would add that you and Robert both have some maturing to do, and how soon that happens depends on how well you make decisions, and how careful you are about those decisions. It sounds to me like you both want to do what's easiest and most familiar--trust me when I say that you two being together will NOT be easy!

I wish you all all the best, and much happiness, whether it's with each other, or not.

K. W

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Hi, A.. I was reading through the responses to your question and one really got to me. I don't know you, but i really just wanted to say that no one knows your heart and not one of us can judge where you or Robert stand with God. We all make mistakes and they have nothing to do with how devout we are in our faith. I'm glad I serve a God who's a God of grace and mercy. Without grace we would have no hope.
Anyway, A., be careful. Think of your little boy first. The decisions you make affect his life. Relationships are hard work and having an instant issue like religion doesn't help. Use wisdom, A., and good luck! :-)

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I am sorry to say that I think that if it did not work the first time then it probably would not work a second time. Also since he's soon to be divorced he may be a totally different person. Failed relationships can really scar a person. Of course it is up to you as to wether or not you think that you can love him. Think of how hard it would be on your child if you got back together and it did not work.
I see that someone else posted saying that Mormanism and Christianity are not that different. I was raised Morman and am now a Christian. There are HUGE differences that could be really hard for the two of you. I personally believe that Jesus died for my sins so that I can go to heaven if I have faith in him. A Morman would look at a lot more factors as to wether or not you go to heaven. That is huge. I think that you should pray about it. Also maybe see if he would be willing to see a Christian counselor that can help you two to decide. If it is meant to be then congratulations. If not then you and your child will be saved great heartbreak.

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If I were you, I'd give radio talk show host Dr. Laura a call. 800-DRLAURA between noon and 3 pm. I know that she has a great deal of experience talking to people about family situations and different religions, etc. She's also a pretty straight shooter and has written some books (The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriages) that might help you.

Good luck!

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If religion is the biggest thing standing in the way, you could work on a compromise. For example, if neither one of you is willing to attend or convert or whatever you believe is "necessary" for it to work out, you could always expose your son to both religions. That way he is experiencing both of them. I know it sounds strange, but it might be a workable compromise and your son will understand after a while that they are two seperate things. You will each need to sit down with him and share your experiences, etc. ...might be worth a shot.

Hi A.! M. Here. I just joined. I can't really comment or give many suggestions on what to do with religion. But here's my thoughts on it.....would he be willing to change religions? I'm sure that theres a world of difference between the two! I think that if you both want to work things out, what best for all of you, might be a good idea to do some comprising. If hes not, then since your willing to possible switch over, thats good! But I feel thet its a 2 way street and you both should be trying not just one.

To understand the difference between Mormons and Christians you need to do your research. Mormons are not Christians.