I Need Advise on How to Keep a Clean House, and Sain Mind, & Not So Tired Body!

You can try flylady.net.

However, the real truth is that with a newborn, you are not going to be able to keep as clean of a house as you could before-baby. I have a 2yo, and I STILL can't keep my house nearly as clean as I could before he arrived - probably won't until he and any other kiddos leave home! The main thing is to pick your priorities and be 100% practical about it.

Here are some tips I used:

- Revamp your recipe collection (slowly) to include faster recipes (still healthy, just faster)
- Use the crockpot
- Make dinner earlier in the day. Dinner time is when baby is usually crankiest and when cooking ends up being a nightmare.
- I try to always use this habit: Whenever I walk from one room to another, I take one item to put away. I try to do the same thing when I am in a room - put at least one thing away.
- The fewer knickknacks you have, the easier it is to clean and the less there will be to destroy when your little one starts walking.
- One load of wash a day keeps a mountain of laundry from forming.

Good luck! It's NOT easy having a new baby in a society that is as isolating as ours is. Don't worry if you can't keep on top of it because NONE of us can!!! This is probably the hardest time of your life, but it will pass! Blessings!!

2 moms found this helpful

I have three kids and I'm a stay at home mom, too. I dispise housework...I HATE it! But it obviously has to be done. My secret is spending 20 mins every evening with the kids and husband helping going around the house and picking up clutter. And I make a date with the wash machine once a week to do laundry so I'm not doing it everyday, and that's all I do that day. And the main thing...I know it's hard because you think when the baby is napping that it's a good time to do your chores, but you should really rest when you're baby is napping. At least take one of the baby's nap time to rest yourself. And if it gets too much, call a maid to come in once a week to do those jobs you absolutely hate. For instance, I hate doing the bathrooms, so I wouldn't mind if a maid came to my house once a week to only do the bathrooms and I can handle the rest. Good luck and enjoy the baby, the house work can wait or be put on the back burner for awhile.

1 mom found this helpful

Check out www.flylady.net Her systems might really help you find peace in your own life like it did for me. Routines really help, and little bits at a time. It really helps me keep my house clean and keep routines and have a healthy attitude towards it all. Less really is more. It is SO much easier to keep my house clean and organized and the pick up the toys, etc, because we don't a ton of stuff. Also enlist the help of your husband and children. Let your husband what you need him to do in a nondemanding way and without coming across like complaining. Hopefully he'll want to help ease your exhaustion.

My 3 year old takes his hamper full of clean clothes from the laundry room and puts them away into the labeled (with pictures and words) baskets. He also puts away the silverware and empties his own dishes out of the dishwasher into his little cupboard. He also puts his dirty dishes into the dishwasher and has been doing most of this since he was about 2 1/2. It takes time to teach, but it helps me out in the end, plus it's teaching him an important life skill and the value of responsibility and pitching in.

1 mom found this helpful

Congrats on the new baby and being able to stay home! I've been a SAHM for a year and a half, I have children that are 6 and 2 1/2 and honestly, I still have a hard time with all the things you're having trouble with! And your baby is still a newborn - you should be resting too! Take your time - don't try to do too much, or you'll be even MORE tired and stressed out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be "Super Mom" just yet. Recovery time and bonding with your newborn are the most important things right now - housework can be done anytime, it's not going anywhere! There will ALWAYS be housework!! ;o) I'm resigned to the fact that my house will be cluttered until my children are old enough to leave home!

Hello S., I am a childcare provider from chandler, and I have 7 children in my care. I also have 4 children of my own. I am 38 years old. You have to set yourself a schedule and also try to put the baby on a schedule, alot of people say that if the shildren are under the age of 4 months that you cannot put them on one. "YES YOU CAN" i have been doing this going on 10 yrs. The routine I take is I get up about a hour earlier and believe it or not that hour you can accomplish a whole lot. I put the kids doen for thier nap at 12:00 noon and they sleep until 3:00 everyday even the infant of 4 months. I then do what I have to do for my house work but leave about at least a good 45 min. for yourself to be able to regroup yourself and you will find this very helpful. I starty work at 5:30 every morning and I work till 6:00pm. I have alot of my parents come in to my house and say Pat how do you keep your house so clean! I know that when you are a first time you fell you are very tired, because you get up alot at night. I learned from my mom that when I had my first I remember she always use to say you cannot let yourself be over come by being tired. I also know she started to tell me put yourself on a schedule and you will see that you will vercome whatever it is that you are struggleing with so I did and I will tell you what when my maternity leave was over I was able to go back to work and know that I had already accomplished alot and that my baby was also okay.I hope these words of encouragement could help you in some way. I know you will be fine and you will find it very rewarding. Smile and have a good day!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats!!!!
Your life will never be the same- I'm sure you know that by now. I felt the same way when I started having kids... I like things nice and tidy and it was impossible to keep it that way.
here's what I've learned over the years:
1. Don't try to do it all at once- take breaks and get your rest.
2. Keep up with it but don't let it consume you.
3. Focus on the visible things- floors, mirrors, bathrooms. Forget the little things like dusting blinds, keeping everything perfectly organized, polishing furniture and the kids rooms (those never stay clean anyway!!!)...
4. Stay up with laundry, dishes and trash and you'll feel like life in managable. And.. your house will appear clean even if it's not deep clean.
5. Put messes behind closed doors so you don't have to look at them- that's the only way I've survived 3 boys being a perfectionist!
God bless you and enjoy your new baby!
T.

Don't worry!!! It takes several months to get back into the swing of things (if not longer). A good friend told me with my first baby to be happy and positive about even ONE thing you accomplished, like making your bed or folding a load of laundry. It will get better, but for now just learn to relax--you'll be a lot happier.

Hi Stephanie!

When I read this entry, I was so excited to reply because I feel like I had the same exact experiences when my first child was born :). I had become a Full Time Stay at Home Mom after working a career, in which I worked at least 60 hours a week. And, let me tell you, learning how to take care of a newborn, and keep up with housework, meals, and laundry was 10 x's harder than my career! I remember wondering why I couldn't "accomplish" anything during the day (except brushing my teeth at 5pm :) ). Then, in passing someone told me, "Remember, if your baby is able to take good naps today - whether you are holding them or they are asleep in their cribs - THAT is considered a good day of "accomplishment". It is an entirely new way of thinking! You also need to remember that you have JUST had a baby! You are still recovering from birth and not getting good sleep, providing constant care, etc. My motto is "the first 3 weeks are "survival"; by 6 weeks - you begin to turn a corner out of "survival mode"; and by the time the 3rd month hits - you are having "fun" as a Mother". So, in your new days as a Mom, if you can feed a baby, take a shower, get your teeth brushed, and eat, it is a good day. Take one day at a time. Enjoy your new treasure. Rest when you can. You will eventually have a moment here and there to catch up on laundry. If you can get "one thing" done a day - consider that a good day. God Bless you and remember that you are not alone :). You can also hire a house cleaning service to help you during these stages of life :) - that also makes life much more manageable :) :). I am a Mother of 4 treasures.

www.flylady.com!!!

It's a free website that really helps to you to put things in order doing just a little bit at a time!

Good luck :)

Don't worry about it. Just do what you can and focus on how much you do manage to get done and not what you didn't do. Focus on the good stuff, like loving your beautiful daughter. That's what is really important. Things will get easier as you go along, you should still be resting when the baby does for a bit too so take the time to relax when you can get it. Congrats on the baby and being able to stay home with her too. Good luck and God bless.

LOL! I remember being there, not very long ago. You probably think, "Wow! Is life going to be this hard from here on out? I guess I'm going to have to make this craziness work!" But, eventually your baby will sleep longer, your body won't feel like you've pushed a watermellon out of it, and if you're breastfeeding, you won't always be a human cow, strapped to a chair for 8 hours a day like you may be right now. Just make sure the dishes are done and you have clothes to wear. The dusting, vacuming, cleaning out closets, running errands, etc. will still be there when either you feel better or someone feels sorry enough for you to offer to help. We had a lot of people bringing us meals, and stuff stored up in the freezer, but if not, go online, and have safeway deliver you a bunch of frozen crock pot meals just to get you through about another month or so until you're able to cook like a normal person again.

I went through the same thing!! I made a list. Monday thru Friday. (I leave the weekends to enjoy my family) Start simple, like one room a day or make one day just for laundry. That way when you're done you can feel great about finishing something. But remember, and ALWAYS remember this, you need to take time for yourself. My daughter is 2 now, and one hour a day I do what I want (usually during her nap). We all need the relaxing me time. The house can wait. I usually finish the week with the kitchen and family room so that if we feel like entertaining everything is ready to go. Remember a clean house is sure sign of a wasted life (hee hee at least I like to remind myself of that)

One thing a day a day-don't overdo it-enjoy being a mommy first!

Congrats Stephanie on your new baby girl! I'm so happy to hear she has a Stay at Home Mama. I quit work 3 1/2 years ago when my first child was born and though it took a little getting used to, I am so glad I did. I now have a 3 month old and cherishing every minute with my 2 kids. As for the housekeeping, you must give yourself a break. Your baby is just a month old so it will be at least another 2-3 months till life will settle down out of the initial chaos into somewhat of a routine. There are all kinds of things people tell you that are supposed to keep your house in order (like,"buy organizers and bins for everything or just clean one room a day"--great idea, but not too practical when your baby needs you all day long and you don't feel like you can pick up another item and put it away at the end of the day), but the truth of the matter is that there will always be something that didn't get finished at the end of the day. So, you have to lower your standards a bit and allow yourself to rest and get used to your new job, mothering. You and baby are most important now. If it bugs you too much to not be able to have a neat and clean house, consider hiring a housecleaner for a while. Right now I can empathize for it seems that everytime I start a project like loading the dishwasher or even putting in a load of laundry, it is always 1/2 finished. Please don't resent or stress over the interruption of your baby crying, needing a change or to feed. These "interuptions" will serve to make you a more flexible person, more understanding friend (when your friends have babies) and help you see priorities in the order they should be. Best wishes! R. Married 7 yrs, SAHM of 2 and Certified Nurse Midwife since 1999

Hi S.
Girl the houswwork will always be there. Dont stress to much a new baby is exhausting looking back no one will remember if your house was clean or not (including you) but you will remember the time you spent with your little one. so dont beat yourself up about having a messy house your a new mom relax and enjoy your baby. But if your like me and cant stand it then keep taking your vitiamins for energy and use paper plates and cups to help with your dish load. wear the same clothes more than once to help with laundry. and premake some dinners on the weekends and freeze them for time. It gets better girl! Promise
Enjoy life is to short

Lower your standards or hire some help. Your newborn daughter needs you more than the dust bunnies need you. Consider cooking a triumph. Love being a mom...it won't last forever...housework will.

I had a similiar request a few months ago because I homeschool my 4 kids and I was never caught up no matter how hard I tried. I had a lot of people recommend flylady.net and that was wonderful. Her website is very full so what I did was get on her email list. She sends out emails daily and it really helps. The first month is daily reminders to help establish routines. It was extremely helpful to me.

Stephanie, first of all, Give yourself a break! You have a ONE month old baby and you have never been a mom before. It is ok if you cant get to everything. I know how you feel wanting to get everything done. I just had my second boy 2 months ago and had to remind myself that it was ok not to get everything done. You will get used to it and eventually have a routine.

What I usually do is one thing a day. One day vaccum, the next laundry, the next clean the bathrooms and so on. Giving yourself one thing to do a day will help you feel like you are doing something but not overwhelm you.

Be encouraged, you are doing a great job. Remember that time with the baby is most important because they grow up too fast. It seems like yesterday that my 4 yr old came home from the hospital. Take it easy and dont forget to get out of the house AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. Fresh air is good for you and the baby.

try to practice letting go of some of the house stuff, it's not as important as your sanity...try yoga to boost your energy and prioritize what is important...(feeling good)

Your daughter is only a month old! Give yourself a break, the house doesn't have to be spotless or perfect during this phase of you life. Do whatever you can each day, but enjoy your baby. It will be easier as she gets older.

It will get easier. Just remember that.

I have 8 month old twin daughters. So, I feel your pain. Here is the best advice I can give you. Stop worrying about it so much right now. Your daughter is still at that stage where she is waking up frequently. And you're still adjusting to being a new Mom.

My house still doesn't look like it did prior to having kids, and probably isn't going to for a long time. But, I am finding more time to get housework done now. It will get a little easier as your daughter becomes more self aware and entertains herself a little.

Give yourself some time. No one with a brain expects a brand new mom to have her house completely spotless. It's nearly impossible to accomplish and still get any sleep. So relax a bit, and just give it some time. You'll get back in the swing of things in a few months.

E.

It's only been a month.

Relax, rest, enjoy your baby. It will all fall into place soon!

As soon as we wake up, I dress the kiddos (2.5 years and 7 months, both girls) and myself and make the beds. That way I have already accomplished something! After I make breakfast, if they are content, I clean up the kitchen. The baby lays down at nine at which time I put in a load of laundry (while it is washing me and my 2.5 year old do flash cards, games, stories...) I put it in the drier, get the baby up and everyone gets snack while I fold. Then we go somewhere, any where (walk, park, kidgits) just to get out. We come home and take a nap (I NEVER clean during nap.)When they get up we have snack and toon time (30 min. of cartoons) that is when I do anything else that needs done. If I can't fit it in in 30 minutes it doesn't get done. I find doing it this way insures I will get something accomplished, even if it's only getting dressed and making the beds.

There are those occasional days where nothing is going right. These are the days you leave the house, go to a friends for a play date and leave the mess for tomorrow.

house work will never go away....you are correct.
what I started doing is 1 room a day. sounds crazy but make a chart on which room you'll do on monday....on tuesday...etc..
and it works...my whole thing is if it's clean it's clean...you can pick up as you go but to deep clean do 1 room a day then your not overwhelmed to keep it clean. And at the same time you can do 1 load of laundry too....and you keep up with your laundry.

A month ago!
Honey your body has been through a major event! Not to mention your psyche!
Give yourself a break!

I get slammed on this site a lot for being a "50's throw back" or a "June Cleaver" but even I couldn't keep up with everything a month after giving birth! If you are nursing that is adding to your fatigue!

The only thing that worked for me (and still does) was the 15 minute rule. I can do anything (even crunches or sorting socks for 15 minutes). Set a timer several times a day for 15 minutes (when precious baby is sleeping) and run around like mad (really work up a sweat) and do as much as you can (dishes, picking up, sorting laundry) then when the bell goes off STOP. Catch your breath, lie down, check on the baby...if you limit yourself to little sprints all day it won't seem so overwhelming!

Best of luck and give yourself a break!
P.S. If anyone hasn't bought you a baby gift you can always suggest a week or two of housecleaning as a "gift".

Congrats on your beautiful baby girl. Our first was a girl as well...just love the pink! You've received great advice on housekeeping tips, I thought I'd help with the tired body part. I felt so tired after our first my mom sent me natural supplements that really helped me recover and feel so much better after childbirth. I now love them so much I made it my home business! Check out my website: www.shaklee.net/denisefriedl
I'd be more than happy to recommend a few things for you. Enjoy your lovely bundle of joy! Take care.

Boy do I have a solution for you!! LOL.
I am so excited, I've been telling everyone about this website. It's called www.flylady.net. Flylady is about getting things organized and good habits developed. She talks about developing a morning routine (which includes getting dressed to the shoes as soon as you get out of bed so you feel ready to do something and then immediately making your bed). She also seperates the house into ZONES. There are 5 zones and each week you focus on decluttering and cleaning one zone. Each job takes about 15-20 mins and she says, BABY STEPS! She talks a lot about decluttering for only 15 mins a day in the current zone too. I've found that it's amazing how much you can get done in 15 mins. I even set a timer. There's a lot more information on the website, but that gives you a little idea about it. Since I've started "flying," my husband has been soooo happy. The house looks fantastic. I have two little boys under three years old and I feel good about myself, proud of what I've accomplished and I no longer live in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome)lol. The best part about it? It's free. She charges no membership fees, nothing. The information and routines are there for whoever wants them. The website has a LOT of info on it and it can be overwhelming at first, but trust me, it's worth it. I can not reccommend this system enough. It's totally transformed my life. When you get to the site, start with the link that says "Flying Lessons." that should get you started the best way. Good luck!

Tons of great advice! I have 6 month old twins & this is the routine I have come up with:
(1) HOUSE CLEANERS once a month (great for making sure bathrooms, floors, oven, frigerator & so on are clean)
(2) NIGHTLY: put away all baby stuff, pick up house, clean kitchen (dishes, counter tops)
(3) WEEKDAY NIGHTS: put 1 load of laundry in the washer 2-3 times/week with timer set to be done 30-60min before my husband gets up for work. Before he leaves the house, he transfers the clothes to dryer & they are ready for me to fold when I have time (baby nap)
(4) WEEKDAY MORNINGS: Wake up 30-45min before babies wake to: eat, dress, make bed, get coffee, pull out baby bouncies/ play mates / toys & stuff, warm up baby bottles
(5) WEEKENDS: do a good cleaning on Fridays & give yourself Saturday & Sunday OFF. Enlist husband to help.
(6) GOT FAMILY/VISITORS? Have a "To-Do List" they can help with such as: grocery shopping, take out food, vacuum, dishes, hold a baby while you nap.
(7) GOT PETS? My husband feeds cat/dog, walks dog each morning/evening. I vacuum Mon, Wed & Friday so floor is hair free for babies.
(8) ENLIST YOUR HUSBAND with regular chores!!!

Good luck

Hey Sweetie, it's only been a month!!! Somebody else should still be taking care of you and baby AND the house! But returning to real life, ;)... let it go. Nothing will ever be worth as much as your bonding time right now. Only do those things that MUST be done and relax about the rest... Years ago a friend shared with me, "dust will only build up to a finite amount... usually 1/2 inch"... who cares? (before that I"d been seriously compulsive about a clean house) I remember when my babies were young there'd be times when I'd remember at 3:00 p.m. that I hadn't even brushed my teeth yet! Imagine yourself in a primitive culture, swinging in a hammock gazing into those awesome newborn eyes and discover what's really important.

First of all...take care of you first! Do not feel guilty! Break free from social pressures...easier said then done, I know. The housework will ALWAYS be there (unfortunately) I have three girls who are finally in school and it finally sunk in. I wish I was wiser when they were younger! Actually I wish I would have listened to the people who were telling me all the stuff I'm going to tell you!

What I have found that has worked for alleviating a little bit of the housework anxiety is to work in 15 - 20 min. increments if you can. Then rotate it. Set a timer. Make sure one of those 15 minutes is taking care of you...exercising, reading, napping, bath, etc. For the bathrooms, I keep those Clorox clean up wipes/lysol wipes/Costco wipes. That way if I'm in the room I just swipe away..1,2,3.

When the baby is asleep, you take a nap too...it will rejuvinate you and you'll feel like being able to handle more stuff.

ASK for help. Ask you husband to help out with stuff. Make a list of stuff that you feel needs to be done. This is not supposed to fall ALL ON YOU! Talk about the list together and determine what really has to get done and what could wait. Guys like lists so they can see how they can help.

In 4 more weeks your baby is going to start reacting to you and that will be sooo awesome! At 4 months the giggling and smiles whenever you walk into the room will start and THAT is the BEST thing! The truth is...from here on out..your house will never look like it did before kids..no matter how hard you try. There will always be a loose sock, a small toy, a scrap of paper that to you is garbage but to your child is a treasure! And you know what...it's okay! It really is. Because it goes by too fast. Let it go...and remember...this too shall pass.

Have a list of what you want done, so you feel like you accomplished something. And
flylady at flylady.com has lots of organizational idea, mainly keep your kitchen sink clean
then you will feel like you accomplished something. I think giving yourself time to adjust and enjoy your child is the main thing.

I hope this helps.
K.

There will always be housework. Your baby will NEVER be this age again. Adjust your expectations and enjoy time with your baby. She is so young and your own body needs rest, too! Figure out your and your family's priorities (dusting? the kitchen?). For us, it was whole foods, wholesome meals. So I stayed on top of cooking and the kitchen. We also cloth diapered, so laundry was a necessity, though it was not always folded in a timely manner. Pick the top priorities and focus on those and give yourself some slack on the rest.

Stephanie, I can appreciate what you are going through. Best advise at this time is that you should be sleeping when the baby sleeps. I know you see the house as your job now, but that baby is your job. The house will have to continue to be a joint job for awhile. You need to let your body recover a few more months. It takes a full year for your body to recover. I actually found it to be more like 18 months, I am an older mom though. Your house will be there the rest of your life. That baby won't and even though it doesn't seem like it know she will grow way too fast. Do easy meals or the meal preparation places, if you must clean just do one thing a day ie. clean a bathroom and one load of laundry. Take care of yourself and that sweet baby. You can't do it all. Good luck.

Hi there. I know, it's crazy--you think you have this baby and you are home all day, so why can't you keep up on house work? Well, I am now the stay at home mother of a 2 1/2 year old, and it just gets busier and you get less time. If you can afford one, get a maid. That is honestly the only way I could keep up. I do light picking up--i.e. the toys, laundry, etc throughout the two weeks, and the maid comes every two weeks and does the deep cleaning, It honestly saved my sanity, and i get to hang out with my daughter while my house gets cleaned...what could be better? :) Let me know if you need a referral--I have an amazing and reasonably priced maid.

I'm praying for you to get some help. Husband, family, friends? Most of all, let some of the "clean" go. Kitchen and bathrooms are important. Garbage taken out is important. But anything that isn't absolutely necessary, let it go. But ask for help! Again, I'm praying that our Lord Jesus Christ will bless you with help, strength, and health. Sincere love, I.

LOL, I'm sorry, but I'm almost in the same boat. I feel like my house has a life of its own and is taking over.

My daughters are 19 months and 9years. I get a room clean, usually while the other one is being destroyed. SOMETIMES my 9 year old helps, other times she doesn't even pick up after her self. My husband works nights at our restaurant and doesn't really have time to help me with the house. I can completely understand. As the baby gets a little older you may gain some freedom to get things going again. It's not all hopeless.
Always a sympathetic ear.

I tend to be a little OCD about how my house is kept and had the same problem right after my daughter was born. I ended up making each bedroom or area a day and would clean them on her 1st nap/ Like bathrooms would be mon, living tues, dining room and kitchen wend and bedrooms on Thur. Sometimes if she slept awhile I could get a head start on the day before and be done in 3 days and my house stayed clean that way. Most important though was I had to let myself not care if the house wasnt as clean as I would like it. Good luck and welcome to mommyhood! :)

Hire a housekeeper! It's worth it.

One thing I did to help myself get a handle on the house work was assign one task a day..... Mon. - laundry, Tue. - shopping, Wed. - dusting, Thur. - vaccum & mop, Fri. - bathrooms.... it took a little getting used to that my house wasn't all clean all at the same time, but it did help me feel like I could get stuff done & not neglect my girls! Hope this idea helps & blessings on your sweet baby!

I'm guessing you are going to hear a lot of "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!" Somebady said to me: you never go into a cemetary and see "great housekeeper" on a head stone. That said, I know what it's like to have the mess drive you crazy. Once the baby starts taking predictable naps (get them on a routine asap,) it will get easier. I try to do 1 load of laundry and clean 1 thing every day. It can be small like just the toilets, not the whole bathroom, and it helps a lot. it'll get better. Some saturdays my hubby takes the kids to the park (good for them too) just so I can mop the floor. Good luck!

I have found the easiest thing for me,(I'm a stay at home mom with a 2 almost 3 year old and another on the way) is to not try to do it all at once. Of course there is that general sweep through the house and pick up random stuff on the floor that happens daily and the dishes after meals, but the other stuff I schedule. I try to do a load of laundry every day or every other day, not ALL the laundry just one load. Then I will vaccuum on Monday and Thursday, I will clean the bathrooms on Tuesday, mop the floors Wednesday and Saturday and so on. Spread it out over the week so you really only end up with maybe an hour of housework on any given day, that can be done during one of the babies naps! Being a new mom you need all the energy you can get and you have to conserve what little you have! Good luck!

I'm with Patty K - your baby is only a month old. Give yourself a break. Do WHAT you can WHEN you can. Try a timer set for 15 minutes & clean that way a few times a day. I can't say it will get easier, but you'll be used to routine by the time toys are all over the house & you have more than one making the mess & throwing tantrums when it's time to clean up. I sure hope your husband isn't guilting you into a clean house right now. There's a lot to do with a newborn, and it's hard getting used to juggling it all - even when you're home all day. SAHM are not sitting at home eating bon bon's ; ). We've got the hardest job in the world & it takes time to get used to - just like any new job (but we do it without training!) Good Luck! and please don't stress - it will come!