June 19, 2009,
A.G. asks from Carson City, NV on June 18, 2009
I Need Advice on How to Stop My Daughter from Cussing
My daughter is almost 11 months old and she cusses up a storm. I don't know why she started cussing so much, probably because everyone around her cusses all the time, but my question is how do I get her to stop?
2 moms found this helpful
J.M. answers from Los Angeles on June 18, 2009
It's very difficult to believe that your 11 month old daughter has A vocabulary,much less a filthy one.Children this age,mock what they hear. They're like little parrots.If you want her to stop cussing,then you need to remove her from that environment.If you have friends or family,that use that language around your daughter,you need to ask them to refrain from speaking that way when in her presence.Tell them,that shes picking up on it,and you want it stopped.Because your daughter is merely mimicking,what you ALLOW her to hear,there should be no form of discipline issued. The only way you can cure this problem,is to curb the cussing,in her presence,and start coming up with other silly exceptable words,that she'll enjoy mocking,and will choose to use those instead.I wish you and your smart daughter the best.J. M
4 moms found this helpful
S.H. answers from Honolulu on June 19, 2009
Ditto Julia M.
*Also, you cannot expect HER to stop cussing/swearing, if everyone else around her is still doing that. Its hypocritical.
I notice you are a young parent... so please heed to the advice all these long time Mamas on MamaSource will tell you.
My advice is: The way you get her to stop... is by NOT having cussing people in her environment AND you make it a RULE... that around your CHILD... there is to be censored language.
Next, you do NOT "scold" your daughter... she is ONLY 11 months old and they don't even know the formal definitions of these words yet. Like Julia said, they are being a "copy cat" and repeating what they hear. That is what children do....
You best monitor her environment closely... because, if it continues, your daughter will get older and the problem will most likely get worse. AND, in tandem with this... she will ALSO "copy" the behavior and habits of what goes along with the cuss words. And it ain't a pretty sight.
I've seen grade school kids like that... and it really ain't "cute" or innocent by that age.
Now... do you want a little girl to be that way, or to act like that at such a young age, and to act that way once she starts school or starts to have her own friends? Think long term.... I don't think you'd want a little child, "copying" these sorts of behaviors, from Adults.
As my daughter's Teacher once said "Some kids, because of their environment, are not kids anymore... they are so young but they don't have little child hearts or souls anymore... they have been exposed to too much already that is NOT age appropriate.... and its hard to turn back the clock and re-teach them basic, innocent, child thinking...."
REALLY stop all that cussing in your baby's environment. She is only a baby... much too young to be exposed to all that.
As she gets older, you don't want to have any 'regrets' about how you raised her.... nor do you want your daughter to have behavioral problems later... because of it all.
The book "What To Expect The First Year" is really good. You can get it from www.amazon.com or any book store.
Protecting a child from "harm" also means their environment, language used, behaviors displayed in front of them and from Parents, and EVERYTHING. Babies and kids absorb and get affected by EVERYTHING we expose them to... for better or for worse.
All the best,
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M.S. answers from Los Angeles on June 19, 2009
To her, she is not cussing!!! She is copying those around her. She isn't doing anything wrong.
To get her to stop.. don't draw any attention to the bad words that she is saying and make sure the cussing around her stops now. Encourage proper words, for example, when you get frustrated, make sure she see's how you react.. "ah, pickles!" you pick the word, pickles is what I try to use. Don't use frickin' instead of F*ckin' (sorry - but what is the difference, really?) Cut the swearing out now. Don't laugh or say how cute when she cusses.. Don't yell, don't say, "bad word", etc.. she is too young. Anything that draws attention will only make her say it more - positive or negative attention doesn't matter to a child, they just want attention. Catch her doing things right, praise her and use nice words. It's not too late to reverse this so make sure the adults around you are all on the same page.
3 moms found this helpful
J.B. answers from Los Angeles on June 19, 2009
the only way is to stop doing it yourself and have people around her stop also. get a swear jar and everytime you cuss you have to put a quarter or dollar in it. i have a 26 month old and she is starting to pick up those words too but its right after i say it and im like oopps..
1 mom found this helpful
N.D. answers from Reno on June 19, 2009
Sadly I have no advice that you have not already heard. Children learn what they hear, especially at your daughters age ~ stop ALL words you do not want repeated by your child. Your first step is to get the verbal air cleaned up, then when you daughter says one of those words ignore it, teach her a new word, and then move on. She will soon forget most of the words that you dont want her to use, as long as she is no longer hearing them. Good luck, its a hard habit to stop (took me about a full year to get my hubby to stop) Now my hubby is the first one to correct company who cusses.
1 mom found this helpful
J.L. answers from San Diego on June 19, 2009
Hi A., The only way for her to stop cussing is for you all to stop, at 11 months old she doesn't know what she i saying. I know you are only 19 but cussing around your daughter, and allowing people who cuss to be around her, or have her be around people who cuss, is not being very responsible, ;m talking to you like a mom, because I have a daughter who's 20, and if she had a child and was bringing her child up around provanity that's what I woud tell her. Bulid her up for sucess, I Guarentee if she is still cussing when she is old enough for pre school and kindergarden they won't take her. J. L.