Who out there has an active boy that won't stop for some love? My wonderful, silly, funny, smart, crazy head little boy is too busy to be bothered with that mushy stuff. He's one. I know it's just the way he's wired and I do accept him for who he is, however, I at times feel sad that I can't connect with him in a more affectionate way. Maybe he'll develop it later, maybe he won't. I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt like me. A little sad that I can't feel that warm fuzzy you get when a little baby lays their head on your shoulder. He'll sit in my lap for books and I get a closeness from him that way, but he hasn't ever really been comforted by rocking, holding, singing, etc. He likes his "babies" (stuffed animals) and back rubs. So who has felt like me? I guess I just wanted to know that I'm not alone for feeling this way..at times. We connect with giggles and laughter but sometimes Mommy just wants a hug. Ya know?
I agree w/ Dawn.
My first, my girl, was not a hugger. She likes to be close...a little too close...but she is not very cuddly.
My son...oh my...he cracks me up because he is so affectionate.
But he is fine keeping his own space to himself.
They are who they are...
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My littlest human was the same so I made it into a game and called it "squeeze the juice." At five she now hugs a lot but we still find ourselves using the same line at times. "Squeeze the juice out of ..."
Btw the hugs are just as yummy as when my kiddies were babes. They are now 5&7 and I expect it to be as yummy when the're 20...30...40...
My girl was the same exact way at that age.
I seriously used to think it was because of how I used to feed her sometimes. When breastfeeding didn't work I bottle fed. I also travelled a lot. So I would put her on my lap, facing away and feed her with one hand, while on my laptop (so daddy could see) with the other. Of course I didn't do this all the time, but I did do it. So I felt it was my fault because I wasn't looking at her all the time and keeping the bond strong.
Rocking never comforted her, she hated being swaddled as an infant, and at 1, she would practically claw me if I held her tight to hug her. Right now we are cheek to cheek and she's trying to climb on my shoulders. She's 2.5. Every morning when daddy is getting ready for work she will come in the bed and cuddle with me. Even on his days off she wakes up at that time and he gets booted, lol.
Just letting you know I felt the same way. Hold out hope...he may turn it all around in time. Oh and one thing that helped was she got a picture book and it showed hugging, eating, etc. She would copy the pictures, so I did eventually start getting quick hugs. Sending you a big hug mama!
you are not the only one!!! usually it is just a phase. our son did the same with my husband for awhile. when my husband would get home from work or on the weekends and he'd ask for a hug our son would say no and run and hide. it really hurt his feeling sometimes. I felt so bad. he outgrew it though. i too wish they would stay all cuddly forever.
With my oldest, he is 7, I have to get all my hugs and affection in 1st thing in the morning. That is the only time he is willing :) when he is still half asleep and groggy he will let me love on him all I want! He has always been like that.
My 3 y/o loves hugs and snuggles still. We'll see if it lasts.
My oldest is very cuddly and huggy, but he wasn't always. He told me at least 6 times tonight, "mommy you are a princess, you are so beautiful, I just love you so much..." He also hated singing/nursery rhymes... all that when he was younger. He wants it now though that he's 5!
My younger one is still at that active phase where he isn't that much into hugging or cuddling yet. I am pretty certain though, your son will get there one day when he starts to be able to slow down and articulate his feelings.
My son was so much busier when he was small like that. Never really wanted to snuggle in my lap.. always facing out at the world when he did sit in my lap. Always shoving to get away so he could get on the floor/ground and run...
He is 13 now, and asks me for hugs DAILY. In fact, several times throughout the day sometimes. He is VERY sensitive and loving. This young man, when he was 4, asked me to give him his "goodbye kiss" (dropping off at K4) before we got up to the drop-off point, because he didn't want anyone to see. Now he is super sweet. Even gives his dad hugs when he comes in the door from work.
Hang in there Momma..... he might come around later on. I think I love his more "grown up" hugs even more than the ones I got when he was small and I was his whole world. Now he knows there is a much bigger world out there, and yet, he still loves me tops! :))
giving mommy a BIG HUG FOR HIM :) yeah I know its not the same but take what you can get.
Bribery works wonders....Oh, you'd like to have that? Well, I'll need a hug first. lol
My daughter was the same way, hugging? No time! As she got older we were affectionate but hugs never were her thing. At least he'll sit in your lap for books! Giggles and laughter warm the soul so enjoy what you have.
Some kids are just not snuggle rs.
It's over stimulation and is not comfortable for them.
I'm lucky in that my boy has always been a great snuggler.
I was a bit overwhelmed at first at how much he wanted to be held when he was little and it seemed like he was constantly on my lap till he was almost 3.5
He's 12 now and still very affectionate although he's beginning to pull away a bit.
But that's pretty normal for almost 13.
I felt like this when my daughter was that age. She was so busy and active that she had no time for snuggles. She's almost 4 now and we've had lots of time for her to grow and be snuggly! It's not as much as I want, but she's still my cutest and I cherish the days that she comes to lay with me or snuggle for a movie. :)
how funny you post this...i can't STAND that my son isn't a lover. OMG drives me batty!!! I love hugs and kisses. I craved it the moment my son was born. then i got knocked down harsh. My boy HATES hugs and kisses. Really? grrrrr.
The only time my son ever wanted to be close was bed time. Otherwise, as my son got older, he hated being hugged and kisses. Now he is 3. You ask for a hug and kiss, forget it. :(
However, recently, during bed time...he now comes over to me to get out of bed to give me a hug and kiss. I am happy to take them, even though I know he is getting out of bed. Or I bribe him. lol!
What is really hard for me to take is when I see him giving other people hugs and kisses, or says bye to. Yet I do not get the same treatment. Heck I am lucky if I get a I LOVE YOU.
Even though he lacks this...I love him unconditionally. Hopefully as he gets older, that all changes. Cause he will have a broken heart all the time, lol.
I do feel your pain the busybee :(
I just lovingly steal them... :) Yeah, they squirm and push, but when I have to steal it, we make it a game, so at least they learn that affection is something to look forward to and maybe even giggle over. I'm a very affectionate person, whereas my husband isn't so much a PDA kinda person, but even he gets in his snuggles and kisses :)
My son's kind of like that. Now that he's 2, sometimes (sometimes!) he'll come over and give me a brief hug if I ask him for it. One day, he decided it was funny to run at me and give me a ginormous hug and kiss on the cheek and then run to Daddy and do the same to him and then run back to me then back to him, etc etc. I got a lot of hugs that day :)
My grandson is the same way. He's four now, but has never been one for snuggling/hugging. He's a great kid and I really enjoy being with him and I, like you, would like for him to climb up on my lap and sit for some special time, but he's just not wired that way. So, I resign myself to loving him from afar. You are not alone!
Tell him so.... in a happy, teasing sort of way while you grab him and give him a big old hug yourself. Even though he doesn't want to stop for the hug, he'll most likely enjoy the fact that you are interacting with him and teasing him.... And you'll get your hug. He might even start giving more spontaneous hugs to you after you've done this a few times.
