I Just Wantedto Thank Everyone for The3rd Child?

I had this nagging feeling when my daughter was 12 and an only child, now I have a 4 & 2 y/o-Good Luck

My wife and I had that "do we want another" when our 5th was about 8 months along. My wife thought she might have her tubes tied when the 5th was born. The we had second thoughts and prayed about it. We were told we had a girl and a boy waiting for us to have them. Then we had a girl and then a boy and we thought we were done. We were very happy with our 7.

About three years later, I came home from a long week traveling. As we were getting ready to turn out the lights she told me she was pregnant. Through prayer and inspiration I am convinced that we have our 8th because someone else refused to have him, either through abortion or contreception.

I wonder sometimes how much we would have missed had we not had our last three kids. They have added so much to my wife and my life. Its absolutely amazing.

My personal opinion is that your husband is telling you you can get pregnant if you want. If you love your first two kids you will love your third. Your third child will add so much to your life. Looking back 5 years from now you will wonder how you could even have debated whether or not to have him.

Good luck to you and yours.

I had always thought I wanted a third, but my husband at the time was done at two. He always said we did it right and had a boy and girl and were done.
I remember being out with two girlfriends when my kids were young, one had two girls and the other had two boys. People would ask them if they were going to try for a boy/girl. They would ask me if I was done. Society puts a lot of pressure to have both and once you have that, there is this pressure that you should be content because you have it all.
You just need to really decide if you want more and then go for it - removing all of society's pressures.
BTW, I still feel that I wish I would have had more. I'm not able to anymore and that may add to the feeling.

Sounds like he's leaving it up to you.

I'm 29, with two girls, ages 8 and 5. Five months ago I woke up and wanted another baby SO bad, after swearing for 5 years that I was DONE. So I'm 20 weeks pregnant now. :)

E., there are so many reasons NOT to have children. But with a loving, stable family like yours, I can't really think of any. Now get trying!

Not knowing your husband at all, I would take him at his word. He's okay with a 3rd child and he's leaving the decision up to you. If you want a third, he's fine. If not, he's fine.

Our 3rd girl was not planned. When we found out I was pregnant (last thing we thought), we were shocked and overwhelmed. We muddled through and had to make some changes. She will be 10 in October and I'm so glad we have her. We both feel our family is complete.

Good luck to you - whatever you decide!

I heard someone answer this question with "will your children make good older siblings". Does your current youngest have the personality of a good middle child? If not, how will this child's challenges in his new role effect the whole family dynamic? It was a great way to think about it, how will having another child effect every aspect of your lives as a family. From when I was pregnant with #2, I told the oldest I am changing your life forever and I am giving you the greatest gift I know how to give you, treasure this gift always. And I continue to reminder her to treat her relationship with her sibling as something to be nurtured and treasured.

Life is good now, it doesn't mean another child will make it not good. Time is the changer. My family quotes the expression - This Too Shall Pass. If things are bad, it will pass and good times will come; if things are good now, bad can be here in a blink of an eye; People Can Dream But The Unknown Will Happen.

This is a major life decision, good luck making it, but make it, don't dabble in regret for the rest of your life.

UGH "ah ha" moments are for chumps. If you find yourself waiting for an "ah ha" moment you are going to be waiting for a long time and you might not ever have one. I see it like this, if you can see yourself (really see yourself) having/doing/achieving _______ but you just don't know how to get to/do/have _______ then it takes a leap of faith and that's the only way to get past this slump. If you aren't willing to make that leap of faith then deep down it may not be something you actually desire, it may be you simply like the idea of it. If you step up to the plate and take the plunge then I think you have proven to yourself and to those around you that you are serious. (Although in your situation you don't need to prove anything to anyone, just prove it to yourself).

Quit waiting for an "ah ha" moment, we aren't all Newton's sitting under the apple tree.

Is it because you feel as if someone is missing from your family? Or is it because you feel the choice to add another someone to your family is quickly coming close to being taken away from you? Is it mourning or recognizing that your family is in a new stage of independence and it's a little scary and anxiety-inducing?

I think what you're going through is normal, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you actually want another baby but maybe have some wistfulness that you're leaving one stage behind as you enter a new phase for your family. I know the feeling well. We're finished with 3 girls, and I'm happy with my 3 girls. I struggled for a while when my youngest was 2 to 4 years old and I realized that I wasn't having another baby. What do you MEAN I'm not having another baby???? It's every two years! Now she's 2! Now she's 4! It was a shock for me. But we ARE finished and our family is perfect.

I think this longing to have another child is a natural feeling when our youngest hits about age 3. They are no longer babies and we are having separation anxiety - separation from a baby who is now a toddler!

I think what your hubby meant was that he really doesn't want to PLAN for a third, but if it happens he won't be mad and he will love and welcome the child.

I don't think it's selfish to want a third. If you love your children equally and independently, which you do, then it's not like you don't love them enough and need a third -- it's not selfish. If you don't feel like your family is complete, then maybe it's not. I kind of believe you know when it's right. And I don't think your husband is sending you a message to "accidentally" get pregnant. I think he's saying he doesn't have that nagging feeling that you do and doesn't really want a third, but he'd handle it like a loving husband and father if it truly happened by accident. After our second was born, I was so fascinated by the two amazing people we had created that I wondered who else we might create. I occasionally still wonder that (at 43), but then I remind myself how fun it is as a family to be able to travel and explore the world without all the extra baby gear, how glad I am to have one on one coverage (parent to child ratio) for things, and how close and expensive college will be. Good luck with your decision.

ETA: by the way, 31 is still young! My second was born when I was 36. Very easy and healthy pregnancy with test scores like that of a 21 year old. A later pregnancy does not mean it's an automatic no-go. Even my grandmother had my father when she was 43 (back in 1933).

We had three. I thought two was just so predictable and normal. I would have had more but my husband cut me off at two.
Anyway Sarah has been so much fun. She has added so much to our lives and to her siblings lives. Can't imagine not having her.

I am in the exact same spot as you. my husband says the same thing and kids are great! Right now, I am just praying about it and asking for clarity so I make the right decision. My friends that have more than 2 kids say if I am on the fence, then I am not done having kids.

Your husband does not want another child and to put it politely he said if it happens theres not much other he can do but be ok with it. I would not press the issue if your husband truly does not want another baby. I would aks him to have a date night with you discussing having a third child. This gives him a few days to gather his thoughts and really lets him know you are truly wanting another. You should not feel selfish because you want another child no matter if you were on child two or five. If you want another then that is something you and your husband need to agree on.

Just like everything else in the world that you want, sometimes we have to tell ourselves that we just can't have it. If your husband does want another child, then that should be the end of the question. He answered your question in a very smart way. If you were to get pregnant accidentally, he wants you to know that he would not look at it as the end of the world. How sweet he was to word it so nicely. But, he doesn't want another child.

It's okay to have longings that are not fulfilled. The more you dwell on it, the worse it will be. Instead, find things to do with your time that will make your husband's day as well as things that benefit your kids. And the next time the feeling comes up, just tell yourself out loud that you are blessed with a wonderful husband and two beautiful children.