I Just Want to Cry!!

Forgive me, but I didn't have time to read your whole question, but it sounds like you are still feeding him. Let him eat grown-up food! Also, let him take part in choosing his foods from healthy choices, feed him high fat healthy foods--peatnut butter, enriched smoothies. I'd also give him high calorie drinks in a cup--pediasure or even formula.

Also keep a muffin tray filled with healthy good snacks--boiled egg, cheese, fruit, veggies...ect in your fridge at his level so he can get to it as he chooses. If he likes control, he may like these ideas!!

GL:)

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S., I am so sorry for this situation for you, it sounds like crying would be a reasonable response! I have never been in this pickle, but wonder a couple of things. Does he do the same things during the day with his care providers? Has the doctor done anything diagnostic regarding his digestive system? What was he eating/drinking the last time you remember him doing so happily...any idea? Any chance he's teething and really being bothered by that?

If he is happy with a bottle and will drink a good amount, why not start with that and then, when he is satisfied and comfy, give him something small you know he likes in a very non-threatening setting - cheese cubes on a plate on a table he can walk up to...and then let him graze a little bit. If getting him to eat is the goal you might give up on the high chair for a bit and see if you can get him to eat in another setting.

Hope you're able to make some progress with him. Figuring out if kids are just being willful or really have a problem that is physical at this age is tough. I'd want to be sure there isn't something wrong physically, if you can find that out without too many tests I'd pursue that with the doctor.

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This sounds like a medical problem. If your pediatrician is not being helpful, insist on a referral to a GI specialist to rule out acid reflux, esophagitis etc. Also, consider having food allergy testing done (not the RAST blood test-it's inaccurate. Ask for the skin prick test) and have a feeding evaluation done by a occupational therapist or speech therapist. I have a 12 month old who refuses solids and has been holding steady at 17 lbs for the past 4 months. He developed a feeding aversion even though he is being treated for acid reflux disease. He behaved just like your son until we finally got the meds right and he is just now beginning to eat a little. There were days when I was celebrating getting 3 tsps of baby food into him for the full day! If your ped doesn't believe you, make a video of your son's mealtime. I found that helpful in convincing my doc to order further testing. I have had to be creative to get more calories into my little guy since he will only take a cup. He doesn't like pediasure (it's too sweet)but after trying a bunch of things we found that he would take the Meijer brand pediasure soy. Try mixing your son's pediasure into the milk/formula he is used to and increase it a bit each time until he takes the pediasure straight. Also, try mixing cereal, vanilla yogurt or baby food fruit into his pediasure or formula to make a smoothie. Start with just a little bit so he doesn't notice the change in flavor. Increase the amount you add slowly! You may have to experiment with amounts and thickness until you find one he will drink. I agree with the other mom who said to stop the solids and go back to the bottle for a little while. You are welcome to email me if you want to. Hang in there! You are not a bad mommy!

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try to relax...i know it's a lot easier said that done. if you are doing everything that you can think of, then you need to demand that your doctors step in and help because thats their job!! my kids never liked the "toddler" foods that is pre-made...they went from baby food to "real" food overnight. have you tried making him spajetti (i used rotini noodles and cut them up with a tiny bit of sauce just for flavor) or a peanut butter sandwich on soft bread? could it be that he's breaking some teeth and his mouth is sore? is there anything that he will eat no matter what? does he go to the bathroom regularly? he could have acid reflux that makes his stomach sour and he doesn't feel good when he eats, or he could have bowel cramps if he's getting a little "clogged" up.
not sure if this helps at all, but these are the things that i would check and then just take him to his doctor and demand help...and if they wont or make you feel bad tell them you are seeking a second opinion and get one! i've never met a good doctor that isn't helpful and compassionate (it should be a requirement if you ask me). if you know you are doing all you can, then all you have left is getting a doctor who doesn't blame you, and just tries to help you solve the problem. doctors get paid so much because they are trained to solve these problems...i think they forget sometimes that they know more than moms...sometimes anyway :)

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I really feel for you...hang in there and take a deep breath! First I would look for another pediatrician who gives you some advice instead of lecturing you. Also, try not to get uptight when it is meal time. Finally, have you thought of a booster seat right by the table and both of you sit down. My son is 10 and has always been slim. He is a very slow eater and will eat if someone sits there and talks with him (like the French do). If everyone else gets up, he will get up too and be hungry in an hour. So now I make a coffee and sit tehre. He was out of the high chair at 10 months and sitting in a booster with the rest of the family. He also quit the baby food at that time, drank out of a sippy cup and ate whatever we ate (mashed up of course). Hope some of this advice helps!

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S. you are not doing anything wrong. I would encourage you to follow through with the OT evaluation as suggested, but also find a different ped if necessary. Your childs doc should be your partner in his care, not your enemy! You should be able to call on them for anything and be welcomed with a smile and a genuine attempt to help. Now of course, that all takes time, and you need your son to eat now, right? My ped thinks that babies should be on formula/breastmilk until they are 2. I have big fat babies, who want real milk and food by the time they are 1 so I don't do that, but I do let them wean themselves off of the formula. I think that you have both a battle of will going on here, as well as a possible medical issue. Personally, I would go back to the bottle full time. Get him on a very good schedule and re-introduce solids after he forgets this game he has going on with you (a couple days should do it) If you are offering him food (understandably) every hour just to get him to eat, he isn't getting good and hungry, but instead has just enough energy to battle you! Start from scratch...and trust your God given mommy instincts...you aren't going to hurt your baby!

~L.

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