January 13, 2010,
M.M. asks from Ventura, CA on January 10, 2010
I Just Found Out I Was 6 Weeks Pregnant and About to Take a New Job...
I have been interviewing for a couple months now. I am in the final phases with a company in particular that I am very interested in. I just found out a couple days ago that I am 5-6 weeks pregnant. I know legally I don't have to disclose this to my new employer, but I just can't figure out what to do. I am absolutely miserable at my current job, it is extremely stressful! I started interviewing with this company before I even became pregnant, they have an extensive process. Anyway, I am curious to know how other working moms feel about my situation. Should I take the job knowing I am pregnant or not and why? Thanks SO MUCH FOR ANY INPUT, I am stressing about this and need to make a decision this week.
2 moms found this helpful
R.J. answers from San Diego on January 11, 2010
I would follow the 3 month guideline... aka.. only tell people after 3 months.
You'll have the next 8 months to be working, if you start right away, and if it hadn't taken several months to apply for this position you'd already be working.
Will they be annoyed? Probably. They'd also be annoyed if you got in a car accident and were in hospital for 2 months, and had to deal with surgeries and pain meds. Ditto if 6 months in you got headhunted. You can't live your life not doing anything that might annoy another person or company. Our personal lives are our own durn business. Would you never get in a car, because of the likelyhood that it would annoy your company if you got injured? Would you turn down a better job, because you'd only just come on board with this company? You're an adult woman, who they have to assume is having sex, and who may be planning on having (or already have) a family. It's your personal life, and they're not allowed to ask you about it in the interview process (by law, although we frequently volunteer personal info), because no company is one's lord and master. It's your life. LIVE it as you choose to.
I like Hepburn's Mom's advice "You can't make eveyone happy no matter what you do, so always make sure that YOU'RE happy. At least that way one person is."
Now, if you're interviewing with Doctor's without Borders, or a Security (mercenary) Company, then it might be wise to beg out... but otherwise... do what's best for YOU. Trust me, any company is more than willing and able to look after themselves.
3 moms found this helpful
A.A. answers from Columbus on January 10, 2010
Hi M., congrautlations on your pregnancy! I hadn't thought about what Jennifer posted but it is a good point. If you are still covered with your health insurance I would go for the new job and not say anything. Just like you don't have to disclose that you are pregnant, they are not supposed to discriminate that you are. But these things happen. I started my job around 5 weeks pregnant. I didn't tell my employer, nor was I going to for some time, and then I passed out at work on my second day while my boss was talking to me! I left work to go to the doctor and told my boss the following week and just acted like it was a big surprise to me. Maybe not the most honest thing, but it worked well for me. I ended up working until 2 days before I had my son and then went back after 3 months leave so they couldn't really complain anyway! Good luck and let us know what happens!
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J.S. answers from Los Angeles on January 10, 2010
The only thing that I would be concerned about is medical ... you go to see the doctor every month and if insurance is changed you might not be covered from one to another because pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. If it's not a concern then go for it... work hard and prove that you are a good employee and that maternity leave will not be the end of working there. Good luck! :)
K.C. answers from Los Angeles on January 10, 2010
***Adding an update re: disability eligibility***
I went online and found some specific info about your FMLA eligibility. Here is info and a link to the site I found it on:
The FMLA defines an eligible employee as one who meets all three of the following criteria: (1) the employee has worked for the employer for at least 12 months (not necessarily consecutively); (2) the employee has worked for the employer for at least 1,250 hours in the previous consecutive 12-month period; and (3) the employee works at or is assigned to a worksite that has 50 or more employees or which is within 75 miles of worksites that taken together have a total of 50 or more employees.
Whether an employee has worked the minimum 1,250 hours is determined by counting the actual number of hours the employee has worked in the previous 12-month period. Therefore, paid vacations, holidays, and sick leave are not counted. In addition, eligibility is determined as of the date the leave will actually begin, not when the employee requests the leave.
You can do some additional research into FMLA eligibility to determine whether or not you will qualify.
I would take the new job. Being miserable at work sucks anyway, but it will suck even more if the stress at work affects your pregnancy. Being at a new job will make you happier and make the pregnancy easier.
As far as telling the employers, I would not say anything until you are given a formal offer. At that point, if they were to rescind you would absolutely have a case against them. It's a nice time to disclose in the interest of honesty and starting off on the right foot.
You should know that you will not be eligible for disability since you will have been at the position for less than 12 months when you go on maternity leave.
Congrats on the pregnancy and the new job!
A.Z. answers from Los Angeles on January 13, 2010
If you are planning to go back to work after the baby comes, then I would take the job (why? because you're currently miserable and you really want this job) and not say anything for as long as possible. It's important that you prove yourself so that when you do notify them, you are able to point out what you've contributed and why you're important to the organization. It's also very important that you make it crystal clear that you do plan to return to work. Though you won't qualify for FMLA, if it's a larger company they will most likely extend the 12 week leave to you, particularly when you are positive about returning to work. Good luck with your decision!
L.D. answers from Las Vegas on January 12, 2010
The same thing happened to me a number of years ago. I didn't say anything to my new employer until after I was 12 weeks into the pregnancy because (a) I really needed the job and (b) the pregnancy was so new that there was still a chance that I could miscarry so I felt it was best not to say anything until I was pretty certain that everything was fine with the pregnancy. By that time, I had a chance to get my feet in the door with my new employer and show them just how valuable I was to their firm. When I finally did break the news, everyone was happy for me and completely supportive and, because I knew they were giving me an opportunity that I desperately needed, I really did get the best out of me. I think it ended up being a win-win situation for all concerned.
Congratualations on your pregnancy and job offer. I hope that all works out well for you, your family and new employer.
J.L. answers from Los Angeles on January 10, 2010
for the sake of being honest I would tell them confidentally upon hire. Who knows it may not happen in the first place for whatever reason. Yes if you do tell them and they don't hire you you would have a case against them but do you really want to put yourself (and your baby) through that? As far as another respondant said about disibility and not being covered. I am not sure that is accurate. Of course the laws vary based on how many people work for the company. I think it would be something that would possibly be covered from your old employeer as it is a state benefite in which you pay into.