M.J. asks from Saint Paul, MN on September 02, 2008
I Have a Question... - Carpentersville,IL
Is there any other moms out there that moved to Illinois recently from a different state (say less than 5 years or so ago or maybe even more) that has just had the hardest time meeting other moms? I am really starting to think I won't meet anyone! I have met a few moms but its just like dating - meeting, getting to know each other to see if you connect and then becoming "friends" or not becoming friends and it just doesn't seem like the type of moms I have met (and I have met several) I have had any real connections with. My neighbors are great and we are all friends but outside of our neighborhood it seems there is a different world out there and certainly different than where I grew up in a suburb east of the Twin Cities in MN. I never imagined it would be this hard especially having a child to kind of start the conversations with other moms. I guess I was just feeling bad about myself and really just wanted to know if I was the only one or if other moms felt that way too, even moms who have always lived in Illinois.
L.B. answers from Chicago on September 02, 2008
It took me quite a while after coming to this and having kids to finally get out and meet people on a friend-potential level. It is like dating in a way, and I haven't connected with anyone perfectly yet but I never want for activities to do with other moms and my kids now. My best advice to you is to seek out a local mom's group -- it takes the pressure off considerably and can be such a great way to meet a bunch of moms as well as give your kiddo a wonderful social outlet as well. I joined up with one about a year and a half ago and really wish I had sought one out even earlier! Meetup.com is where my group is based. You do have to make the effort to actually go to activities, but once you're over the initial shyness and realize what an open group it can be with so many different types of moms and personalities -- believe me, it's worth the effort to put yourself out there and give it a try!
C.D. answers from Chicago on September 02, 2008
I know what you mean. It isn't easy making friends. I am somewhat shy as well, so it makes it that much harder. I have lived here almost 3 years now and I have a good set of friends. I am always looking to meet new people though. :) I joined www.carymomsgroup.com when I first moved here and it has been great. I made a real effort to go to a bunch of the get togethers and get to know others. I have tried other mom's groups around, and I have not meshed as well with them. So, it is trial and error that's for sure. You should also try doing as many park district classes as you can. Also, try joining a gym and go to some of the classes on a regular basis and you will probably meet people. Does your church offer a mom's group? Go to the library story hour. Just try your best to get out there and meet people. I know it can get depressing when you don't meet anyone, but keep trying. I moved here from northern WI and I do find that people are different everywhere you go. But, luckily you are from the midwest so you are somewhat familiar with Illinois people- culture wise. Good luck!
T.C. answers from Chicago on September 03, 2008
I think it's harder to make real "connections" as we get older. I have a few very good friends from high school who I talk to regularly, and know we'll always be close friends. I also have new friends b/c of my son, but my son's friends' moms & I seem to be more of casual friends than new lifelong best friends type friends. I think as we get older, fewer moms are looking for real "connections," (talking regularly on the phone, getting real personal, going shopping alone, things like that). I think more SAHM's are looking for friends for their child(ren), whose moms they get along w/. They are friends, but not the type of best friends we may have had in high school. I agree these "real connections" are harder to find as we get older. I would recommend finding a playgroup or mom's group online (meetup.com perhaps), and sticking with it. I think over time these casual friendships w/ other moms can grow into deep rooted friendships, especially if the kids grow up together. Give it some time, a real connection won't happen overnight. Good luck!
C.H. answers from Chicago on September 02, 2008
I am part of a great moms group in Mchenry/Kane counties called Mom-2-Mom. We have kids activities, playgroups and mom only nights like bunco, book club, scrapbooking and moms night out. If you would like more information, you can call our hotline at ###-###-#### or email me at ____@____.com
Have a great day