I Have a Daughter with Cerebral Palsy and I Feel Overwhelmed.

Sounds like a big job and you're taking it seriously. I don't think 13 month old kids can really "take advantage." That's why punishment is not really appropriate for them. However, they do form habits based on how they experience every day. Some people think having baby sleep in their bed is fine for up to a few years. It just depends on your comfort level and your partner's comfort level. But if you want the habits to change, you're the only one who can help her. If the doctor sees no reason to hold her all the time, you'll need to try hard to reduce that behavior. "Mommy Guilt" is very strong and makes us overindulge our kids sometimes. But letting a child cry for a little while is not a crime. Maybe change one thing at a time, like the nap-holding. If she doesn't nap because you don't hold her, never mind. She'll sleep better that night. Just try to change your own behavior and she'll adapt after some tearful times. Maybe you can sit by her crib at naptime and sing to her so she knows you're there, but just do not pick her up. Even reading to her in a low, somewhat monotone voice might help. She'll have your company and a sound that helps her calm down. Good luck. LD

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I have a son also who was diagnosed with cerebal palsy. I know and understand how you feel. The therapy was ok but as I watched them work with my son I thought to myself you know I can do this at home with him. The sleeping situation though is a tough one. Our son sleeps with us or in his bed next to ours.We tired everything for him. He slept on the floor, the couch, with his siblings. Jared in the long run still ended up in our bed no matter what. In the last maybe 4 months he has slept in his own bed. We cuddle him but we are over protective of him. No matter what you do nothing is ever wrong and you will baby your baby no matter what. Our son Jared is going to be 4 yrs old. We were devestated when the doctor told us this in 2005. Jared was developing behind schdule and it concerned us. As of today Jared walks but with a limp and he holds his right arm in towards his chest. The doctor told us that he might not be able to play sports or run. He doesn't like anyone to hold his right hand. He is very dependent on his left for everything. I have learned alot since Jared was diagnosed.

I am not sure if this will do you any good but try reading "healthy sleep habits, healthy child" It is a great book and has a section for special needs. Also, check out the website for The Sleep Lady. She has question and answer sessions for about 40 dollars and may help. Is there a local support group for you? Good luck to you, take care

I have a sister that takes care of special need people in her home. She has been going to Love & Logic classes that have helped her with the most severe cases. They have a 800# you can call. The people my sister takes care of couldn't talk and would throw fits. The stuff she learned has help 100% Try it. It is love&logic.com good luck. MR

I don't have any answers... but I just wanted to commend you for your experience and for loving your daughter so so much. That is so precious what you are doing, and to the best of your abilities. A BIG hug to you. Really. I really feel for you and wish you the best... keep it up, you are being a great Mom to her. Just love her and do your best. You are not a "Ninny."
Perhaps join a support group of like Moms, if you can.
Take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Hi M., I have worked with the disabled community for 17yrs now, I am a supervisor of a residential home for 6 gentleman, my advice to you, is FOLLOW YOUR MOTHER INSTINCT!!! You feel you are giving in too much to your daughter, you probably are!!! Rember, your daughter may have CP, but, she is still YOUR DAUGHTER, and she needs you to be MOM, and teach her the things she NEEDS to learn to be able to live in her life!! She needs to learn from the gate, NOT TO USE HER DISABILITY, but to LEARN TO LIVE THE BEST SHE CAN, with her disability, that is THE BEST lesson you can teach her, The men who live in my home, 2 have CP, but they also have mental retardation, BUT, the needs are still the same THEY NEED TO LIVE AS NORMAL A LIFE AS POSSIBLE!! So, if your daughter was NOT disabled, would you treat this problem the same way? Think about it, and TRUST YOUR MOTHERS INTUITION!!!!

How about a little of both and there is nothing wrong with it. Consult with your doctor about her sleeping habits and if the doc says she should be safe sleeping alone, then wean her from sleeping with you just as if she did not have CP. About 3 good nights of crying it out with some frequent check up visits to let her know you are there and soon she will fall asleep on her own.

Try not to feel like you are not doing enough. Therapy 4 times a week is a lot of work. It sounds like you are doing everything within your power to help her be comfortable and loved. You are doing a wonderful job!

Make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Best of luck to you.
C.

Hi

All I can offer to you is the comfort that someone has read your story and sincerely prays for you.
This too shall pass.
Though it is difficult and seems to be more than you can bear, be assured that you have what it takes to endure.
She IS a special child and NO ONE can tell you what is right or wrong.
You follow your heart and IF you make mistakes , they are your own and you know you did what was best in your own eyes. There is no condemnation in that!

Love & Prayers
S.