25 answers

I Don't Want Anymore Kids, Husband Does

My husband & I have two children, both boys. The oldest is mine from a previous relationship, but my hubby has always been his father figure. Anyways, my husband always told me he wanted a girl & back then, I always said I wanted boys, no girls. Until one day when a friend pulled up on the internet what is actually done to a baby boy for a circumcision. I freaked & instantly since then want a girl just so I don't have to put another child through that. Yes, I know it's better or whatever to have a boy circumsized but had I known then what I know now, I'm not sure if I would've followed through with that with my 2 boys. Anyways, since there is NO guarantee that we'd have a girl, I honestly just don't want to have anymore children & my husband is having a hard time with this. He says he got his boy now he wants a baby girl and that we should at least "try" but I just don't feel that I want another one or maybe deep down I do, I just don't want to have to go through that again if it were a boy. My sons are 4 & 5 also and I feel like I'm content with the way things are as in we are out of the diaper stage, bottles, diaper bag, etc. Does anyone have any advice for me?

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Featured Answers

Sorry I have no advice but I just wanted to say I can't stand it when people say they want a boy or they want a girl. I am led to believe that you have no choice in the matter!! You either want another baby or you don't!! The sex of the child SHOULD have nothing to do with it. I know so many people who have been pregnant and they tell people "oh we are hoping for a boy/girl" So when it arrives and its not what you were hoping for - are you disappointed???? Hopefully not but there will always be folks like me who will remember and will be thinking that you ARE disappointed. My sis is pregnant for the 3rd time and no kidding if one more person asks her what she would like (DUH - A HEALTHY BABY WILL DO QUITE NICELY THANK YOU) she is going to flip.
Sorry for my rant but there are so many people who would give anything for one healthy child, no matter what sex and can't have any.

5 moms found this helpful

Kari N said everything I would - more and more people are NOT circumsizing...my husband isn't and if we are blessed with a son, he won't be either!

3 moms found this helpful

You don't want another child because if the baby is a boy you don't want him circumcised? Well then, don't have him circumcised. That's it. If you don't want more kids because you don't want more kids, that's different and you shouldn't have more kids.

More Answers

I'm not seeing exactly what your issue is: another child or circumcision?

Anyway, your husband's "I have my boy" (what about your oldest?!) sounds a bit immature to me. That's the WORST reason to have another baby, b/c you HOPE it's a boy OR a girl.

As for circumcision--you don't have to!

BUT, the vibe I'm getting is that you're *done* and feel complete and finished. And those are very good reasons to close up the vending machine!

7 moms found this helpful

Sorry I have no advice but I just wanted to say I can't stand it when people say they want a boy or they want a girl. I am led to believe that you have no choice in the matter!! You either want another baby or you don't!! The sex of the child SHOULD have nothing to do with it. I know so many people who have been pregnant and they tell people "oh we are hoping for a boy/girl" So when it arrives and its not what you were hoping for - are you disappointed???? Hopefully not but there will always be folks like me who will remember and will be thinking that you ARE disappointed. My sis is pregnant for the 3rd time and no kidding if one more person asks her what she would like (DUH - A HEALTHY BABY WILL DO QUITE NICELY THANK YOU) she is going to flip.
Sorry for my rant but there are so many people who would give anything for one healthy child, no matter what sex and can't have any.

5 moms found this helpful

and it's better to circumsize because..............? plenty of people aren't and more and more parents are choosing not to every day. There are risks and benefits BOTH ways and it's really nothing but a personal choice. And just because your older boys are does not mean you would need to do it again. 2 of my boys are and my youngest is not. Seems like a really silly thing to base having more kids on. Maybe you should take some time and really think about why you don't want more and then maybe your husband will at least be able to accept the way you feel.

4 moms found this helpful

what if you agree... and then you have another boy......... will your husband want ANOTHER!? lol ... then what? the circumcision thing..i agree just don't circumsize

3 moms found this helpful

I heard only 50% of boys are being circumcized now. We did not circumsize.

I have a 3 & 5 year old (luckily a boy & girl) and no way do I want any more babies. I am also not willing to go thru the diaper stage, not to mention the pregnancy. Maybe you should considier adopting a girl that was a toddler or older?
You could "try" several more times and still get boys, I don't think that's a good idea.

Not sure why Dawn is so worried about you, it makes sense to me that you wouldn't want another boy if you think the only acceptable option is to circumcize and you would not want to do that to your baby.

HOwever, for you and your hubby to discuss all the possible options with a counselor may be a good idea, and also ensure that your relationship will not be damaged by this disagreement.

3 moms found this helpful

Kari N said everything I would - more and more people are NOT circumsizing...my husband isn't and if we are blessed with a son, he won't be either!

3 moms found this helpful

When I was in highschool, I saw a video of a circumcision in health class, and was so bothered by it that I swore I would never do it. When we found out we were expecting a boy my 1st pregnancy, this became a pretty big debate since my DH was circumsized. My DH gave in when he saw how strongly I felt, and neither my son, nor the 2 more that followed were circumcised. This is pretty normal for my side of the family though. My parents were both born and raised in Europe and none of the males in our sizable family were circumcised. No problems.

So, if that's the only thing holding you back, just don't circumcize

3 moms found this helpful

My kids are 2.5 and 5 so I know what you mean about being done with the baby stage. I have one of each so we didn't have a gender issue--but that is all luck. Also if you don't want to circumcise then don't. My son isn't (even though dad and both grandpas are). I know someone with 4 boys. The first 2 are circumcised and the younger ones aren't--no big deal in their family.

I think you need to figure out your own feelings and decide based on that.

2 moms found this helpful

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