17 answers

I Don't like School

My 4yr old son is in daycare and he doesn't want to go i have to bribe him all the time the only time he'll go to school without any problem is if theres some type of event going on i have asked him if everything ok or if someone makes him feel uncomfortable he tells me no he just don't like to go there i don't want to make any assumptions but im seriously thinking about putting in another school if you have any suggestion please feel free to leave any comments thanks for all help

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Have you talked with his teacher about how she sees him responding to his school? What is he like when he's at school, in her opinion?
Maybe he is bored in school, or doesn't feel cared about there? Those
In that case, maybe a school that is more stimulating, has more to do, is more challenging, and/or more caring, would be right for him.
What kinds of things does he like to do at home? Does he like to look at books, make things, tell stories, be read to, take things apart to see how they work? If he likes to do those things at home, maybe you can ask his teacher to do those things with him at school. If he/she is not OK with that, then maybe he needs to be in another school.
Hope this helps!
L.

More Answers

I had this happen. He wouldn't even want to get in the car! I found out that at gym time they were playing tag and always making him it. I found this out by talking to some of the other moms and asking them to check with their kid. I just told them that Tommy wasn't having fun at school and did they know why or could they ask their kid why.

I would first ask the teacher. That was useless in my situation since when I approached her, she said she had no clue and there were only 15 kids in his class! Who knows what she was doing!

If the teacher is clueless, I would approach a few moms maybe during pickup or drop off time if you walk in. I ended up calling and it was kind of awkward, but it helped me a lot.

Do some investigation and see what you can find out!

2 moms found this helpful

Good for you for listening to your child! and respecting your child's feelings!! You sound like a great, caring Mom :))

1 mom found this helpful

I had this problem when my now 1st grade son first started Kindergarden. It lasted for a few months! He would run back to our car and cry, I felt sooooo bad. But, I talked to the teacher and found out he was having a hard time adjusting to all the new rules and was so scared when she would just give him a warning, (he is a very social child!). I very rarely will blame the teacher, every teacher is different and he will have tons of teachers throughout his life, and he is going to have to deal with them, it's just part of life! If something was severely wrong, then, ofcourse, I would speak to the principal, but changing teachers or schools would be last resort.

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe he's just bored? If he likes the activities I would assume that they get his attention and spark his interest. So maybe the rest of the school's day to day normal routine are possibly too babyish for him? Or he's just beyond his groups level. My 4 year old daughter had a similar thing happen to her and so I spoke with the director at her school and they moved her up with some older children ( five and six year olds). Ever since that she is WAY more engaged and much more enthusiastic about going. Its a thought. Hope that maybe helps you a bit. Best of luck to you and your lil man.

Have you talked with his teacher about how she sees him responding to his school? What is he like when he's at school, in her opinion?
Maybe he is bored in school, or doesn't feel cared about there? Those
In that case, maybe a school that is more stimulating, has more to do, is more challenging, and/or more caring, would be right for him.
What kinds of things does he like to do at home? Does he like to look at books, make things, tell stories, be read to, take things apart to see how they work? If he likes to do those things at home, maybe you can ask his teacher to do those things with him at school. If he/she is not OK with that, then maybe he needs to be in another school.
Hope this helps!
L.

Yikes! Can you go over and watch (arriving unannounced would be best). There's probably a reason for his reluctance. Then you could talk to the caregivers etc. If you have any flexibility I would consider moving him somewhere else. Good luck!

Don't run too soon. What is your instinct about the school? Why did you send him to this school in the first place? Think about how a transition to a new school could affect him (and you).

All of my children went through a phase where they didn't want to go to school. It could be so many things. Listen to him, yet if you don't find any issues at the school after talking to teachers and the director, keep reassuring him. Although so very tempting, don't bribe him--it will surely cause problems in the long run. Reassure, reassure, reassure...him and yourself. He is old enough to understand why you need to work, etc. Keep talking to him about why you are sending him there (ex., friends, learning, other fun stuff--a safe, fun place while you have to be somewhere else).

Hopefully this will pass--soon. From a former private school director with a pre-k program...

Speak to the teacher 1st. See if your son is being teased or bullied or threatened in any way. She should know if she pays attention to the bullies or does her job. If she can't be of help, you can sit in the classroom yourself and see what you think is happening. I use to drop by my kids school with surprise cupcakes for "a very unhappy birthday" or any other tune that I would sing and make the kids laugh but I was keeping an eye on things. I learned a lot about schoold systems when I became a lunchroom mom in the minor grades....

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