44 answers

I Don't like Kissing My Husband...

He has bad breath. He hardly ever brushes his teeth. I don't remember when this became such a problem...we used to be just a couple of horny you-know-whats. A kiss hello or good bye is no big deal, it's when he or I want a little more passion that I can't stand it. I don't even want him to open his mouth because I know it's going to stink.
I have no idea how the people he works with stand it. At least for church I try to give him gum so the odor is not as strong.
What would you do? Every once in a while (when I think we might 'get busy') I'll ask him to brush his teeth, but I don't want to have to do that. He doesn't care what other people think about him so keeping on top of the hygiene has never been on top of his priority list. I, on the other hand, don't like thinking what other people think about him, let alone think about me and why I am married to 'the stinky guy.'

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

You might try taking the Real Age quiz together. http://www.realage.com/ralong/entry5.aspx?cbr=NEXS6_P

This site is fantastic...and FREE! One of the big factors in age and health (as so many have written) is dental health. His poor dental health will be addressed in the results and perhaps seeing the impact on his longevity will help him to make changes on his own.

Also, poor hygiene of any kind is often a symptom of depression. Could this be an issue for him?

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

He may have problems with acid reflux, or other health problems. See if you can get him to go see a health care professional. Good luck.

My husband takes great care of his teeth...but some food just sits with him funny and when it does, I tell him straight out. Because I do and don't hold back to save any feelings (Oh! You're breath is nasty! You've got to do something about that!). I WILL NOT kiss him if he's got nasty breath. He is now more aware of what food does not work well with him and because he would rather kiss and not get stinky, he avoids those foods. I don't blame you, though...that's disgusting and I can't imagine kissing it. I would be completely direct with him.

More Answers

i just have frank discussions with my husband about what turns me on/off. for instance, pork rinds. at first i would make a big fuss about how gross they were, but it turned out it hurt his feelings. so we made a deal that i won't say anything about them as long as he eats them on the far side of the couch from me and brushes his teeth afterward. i stand firm on not getting physically close unless he does this. because he wants to be physical, he keeps his part of the bargain. another example, flashing me. he would love it if i randomly flashed him, but suddenly seeing his privates near my face when i'm distracted by something else is not a turn on to me at all. so i just say it like, "i'm a girl. that is not a turn on to me. i understand that it would be a turn on to you, but it does the opposite to me. i have to warm up to intimacy." so if it were me in your situation, i would say something like, "i'm a girl and i need nice smells to feel like getting physically close to you, so please brush your teeth every day. also i'm worried about the health of your teeth and i know how expensive dental work can be, even with insurance. i don't want you to be in pain later on down the road because of problems with your teeth. let's preserve them as best we can." good luck! i hope something gets through to him!

1 mom found this helpful

Dear M.,

When was the last time your husband had his teeth cleaned. I am a dental hygienist and most of the time the bad breath is because of the tartar buildup and junk on his teeth. He also needs to be sure and brush is tongue. That is where a lot of the bad odor comes from also. I would go on no sex strike until he gets his mouth under control. Take care and encourage him to keep his mouth clean and he will be rewarded for his efforts.

1 mom found this helpful


Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unwillingness to attend to basic hygiene issues is a symptom of major depression, as well as loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, especailly sex. He needs to see an MD.You need to become educated about this so you can make some choices about your life with information. This is serious and will only get worse from here if it is not addressed. Sorry!!

Been there, Done that, Still wearing the T shirt.

Oh sweetie! I feel the same way! We have been married for almost 9 years and I have no idea how to fix this problem. PLEASE!! Let me know if you get a response that works!

Really, the best solution, would be to tell him, straight up, that he has some rank breath and he needs to do something about it. It has nothing to do with what other people think about him, it has to do with his health. Not to mention, it is affecting your marriage. Tell him to brush his teeth twice a day, and offer to do it with him, just as a remider. Maybe if you tell him, kissing grosses you out, it will be an eye opener.

Wow. Good luck!


Yuk! You have my sympathy. Get him to the dentist and tell the doctor ahead of time what the problem is. Everyone should brush their teeth AND tongue (which holds a lot of bacteria). Hopefully the dentist can set him on the right track healthwise. Your husband may not care what other people think but it can have a very negative impact at work. Ask him to notice if other people keep their distance when talking with him or keep interaction to a minimum. This could be the reason. He may not want to hear it from you but he will like it even less if the boss (or a co-worker) has to have a talk with him. Good luck. Dee

I completely agree with Mia G.

What i try to do is when i put toothpaste on my toothbrush I grab his and then put the toothpaste away. To make it seem i want to keep things cleaned up. Then just let him know, oh hey, i already put toothpaste on your brush for you. :) If this don't help, simply tell him how you feel. Communication is the best no matter what the subject is. Don't let it go by like it don't bother you.
Good Luck. ;)

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