S.M. asks from West Chester, OH on March 23, 2009
I Don't Know What to Do - West Chester,OH
You ladies have given me alot of good advice in the past so I figured this one deserved your insight too. I went to the dr today I am 29 weeks pregnant and have been in triage 2 times this past weekend in labor. My dr wants me to stasy off of work since I do retail and am on my feet and doing heavy lifting alot, I want to do light duty at work. I finally talked my dr into letting me do light duty and seeing where I am a week from now at my next apt. When I talked to my boss she said that there was one thing I could do light duty but it would be really weird hours and she dos't think that I need to be at work with the contractions and all I am dealing with. I am off untill Thursday and she wants me to call her Wednesday and tell her if I feel any diffrent about wanting to be there with my health issues (I have alot of other issues besides preterm labor). Financially I know we can make it without my income but it will not be easy and I am worried about if I will have a job when I can go back to work (could be up to 16 weeks and FMLA only covers you for 12). I have not come to a final decision on if I want to go back after the baby right now, but I would hate to want to and not have a job to go back to. Any advice or personal experance would be greatly appriciated right now. Thank you in advance ladies.
So What Happened?™
I went to work and asked if my position would be held for 16 weeks and they said yes. So I then told my boss that I would need to stay home and take care of myself. She was very understanding and said if there was anything she could do to help me out to let her know. I was even told that I earned the steak dinner we are having tonight so I need to be there even if I have to take a wheelchair to the breakroom they said someone would push me. LOL. Thank you for all of your advice.
S.C. answers from Fort Wayne on March 24, 2009
Don't go back to work. It sounds like your doctor thinks that being at home is the best for you and the baby. Go with your doctor's advice. It also sounds like your boss is understanding of your situation. Taking the time now will ensure that you and your baby are healthy. He needs to stay in there until he's strong enough to make it on his own. My husband and I make it on one income. It's tough,but we've learned to pinch pennies and go without. If you have a job when you're ready to go back..great..if not, you'll figure it out. In the meantime, stay off your feet and relax a little.
L.G. answers from Terre Haute on March 25, 2009
i guess my first question is whether you feel that you could handle the light duty hours and whether you are comfortable going on maternity leave early. You didn't really say what your feelings are about working vs. not working. If the prospect of sitting at home waiting for the baby to be born is not appealing to you and you are okay with the hours then I would recommend trying it and seeing how long you can keep going. It may only be another week or two, but that's another paycheck or two and more time that you can keep your mind off of the 24 hour baby channel. If you'd rather just stay home and nest, then take your FMLA leave now and explain to your employer that you do plan to return to work 4 weeks after the baby is born, even if you aren't sure yet. They will most likely understand that you can't control the situation and work with you to keep your job for you if they feel you are coming back. Also, I'm not sure about your state, but I'm pretty sure that in IL where I'm from employers are required to allow you to come back in a capacity equivalent to the one you went on maternity in as long as you were in good standing when you left. I would check into the laws in your state. Also make sure that you explain to your doctor specifically what your responsibilities will be on light duty, and ask him what activities you should avoid. If he tells you that even light duty is too much, you need to stay home. You found the job you were in, you can find another one if this employer won't hold your position.
B.R. answers from Columbus on March 23, 2009
Do you really want to risk the health of your baby and you for a job?
You said you could make it on one income, though difficult, and you're not even sure if you would want to go back..so one thing at a time.
You can't predict and arrange for every possible outcome. What is best right now? Stop working and take care of yourself. There's no guarantee that your job would be there even if promised...believe me...if an employer wants you out, they can eliminate your job position due to downsizing and recreate an identical one with a different title.
Are you having twins or do you already have one son?
M.C. answers from Youngstown on March 24, 2009
S....this is a no-brainer. STAY HOME. A job is just a job. There are more out there. But there is only one baby in your belly. There are not any more of those out there! You need to put the health of your unborn baby first. It is your job to protect that baby, and give him the best possible start in life. If your doctor says stay home then it is best to listen to the professional. He's not telling you this just to hear himself talk. There is a reason he is telling you to stay off your feet! If you can make it on one income and your husband is supportive then STAY HOME. Take a break, put your feet up, and enjoy the last few weeks before your life is turned upside down with a newborn in the house.
Take care of that baby, and take care of yourself. I hope you update us and tell us you decided to stay home. Good luck to you!
J.C. answers from Fort Wayne on March 24, 2009
S., let's try to look at it this way and I think that you'll find that your decision is a lot easier than you think. Let's say you stay at work, even after your doctor has recommended you not work at all. God forbid, let's say something happens to you or the baby, what thoughts do you think are going to go through your head? It's literally about 16 weeks of taking off of work, only 4 months of your entire life. If you take that time off and there's not a job waiting for you, so what? You have to do what's right for the baby. You're the only one responsible for this baby right now, and it's your job to do what's necessary to keep him safe until his body can sustain life outside your womb. If you continue to work, you're going to really have some serious regrets if it causes anything bad that could've been avoided. There are TONS of jobs out there....you're going to be a mommy for the rest of your life......take the 4 or 5 or even 12 months off to be a mommy and THEN worry about the work thing.
J.T. answers from Indianapolis on March 24, 2009
I have to agree with the others. Please do as the doc says and stay home. Your baby depends on you 100% and you need to do what's best for him right now. The job can wait, and if your employer doesn't give you the time off that you need, there are employers out there that really do believe in family and your health first. It's just not worth the risk. Your baby is the most important thing right now. Good luck to you and keep us posted.
C.W. answers from Indianapolis on March 24, 2009
I haven't read other responses so I may sound repetative, but I am giving this advice as a previous labor and delivery nurse and a mom who delivered preterm twins (27weeks). I hope the doc has gone over all the health issues that could happen to your baby if it's delivered early. And some people will try to tell you there's such a low chance or it didn't happen to them or as long as you make it too 34 weeks, well like I said I was a labor and delivery nurse and I've seen all these issues that can occur. And it doesn't happen only if they're born before a certain time. I'm not trying to scare you, but I'm being realistic and you've still got alot of time to go before you're even remotely close to any "safe" time of delivering. If your doctor hasn't talked to you about this, let me give you some examples.....brain bleeds, cerebral palsy, blindness, deafness, all sorts of infections, a babies intestines are not totally developed until last trimester and gut infections are very common which lead to all kinds of issues, like having to have part of their intestines removed. All of which I have seen. Like I said, I'm trying to sound nasty or scare you, but unless you have been informed of these things how else would you know. I used to always say to my high risk pregnant gals who were on bedrest and in the hospital. Is a few months out of your life worth the risk of the rest of your babies life? I would hope that no matter what your financial issues are or whatever else your contemplating that your babies life is more important than any of the other things and you'll make the right decision.
S.K. answers from South Bend on March 23, 2009
I agree with the other ladies... I wouldn't risk it. There's nothing more devastating than losing a child, so why not take every precaution you can to insure your baby stays healthy? (((hugs))) good luck!