I Am to Freakd Out by Postnatal Body , Dr. Keeps Chunking Depression Pills, ....

First, you are not alone!

Second, it is all going to take time. After my first, I was back to my old self by his first birthday. Lots of walking and breastfeeding. Please understand though, everyone is different (and every pregnancy is different). I remember being very uptight after birth, feeling like "hey, no one warned me about all this extra skin!". Slowly, everything seemed to fall back into place. Now after my second child, that's a different story! My weight has yo-yo'd since her birth and it has affected my self-esteem. Has it affected my sex life? Yes, but we've found coping strategies to make me more comfortable - lights out, positions where my belly skin isn't dangling (sorry - that's just nasty - but yet important).

Now, who to talk to...yea, a bunch of people are going to probably suggest therapy. If you feel that's right for you, do it. I would recommend finding a group a new moms you can talk to after all, you're all in the same boat. I know my hospital had a new moms group that met once a week. I had a few friends prego around the same time and we would sit around talking about skin & boobs all the time. I would also suggest yoga - lots of moves are based on a "strong core" which means flexing those pelvic muscles! If you could find a class that is postnatal yoga, you'd be mint!

The best way I've found to get unstuck is through energy tapping. Its the best and quickest way I have found to clear negative thoughts and feelings. Its simple & you can learn it a variety of ways, online instruction (youtube, even), emofree.com., workshops, classes or personal instruction.
Believe me, it changes lives.

This may or may not help you, but it really helped me.
There is a website called The Shape of a Mother (http://theshapeofamother.com/). Women upload their photos of their pregnant and post baby bodies. It really helped me to see that my post baby body was somewhat normal and to start to feel better about myself.
Another question - are you breastfeeding? My body decided not to lose any weight while I was breast feeding full time. I had to eat enough to maintain my milk supply and I thought I would never lose weight. When my daughter weaned I lost 10 lbs in one month.
And like the other moms have said "9 months to make a baby, 9 months to get back to (semi) 'normal'"

First things first.

There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. It is totally natural, given the combination of taking care of a new baby (what a life change!), possibly suffering from PPD (which is a real medical issue), and have to deal with a body that is probably much different from what you had before you were pregnant.

The other posters have given such great suggestions but I wanted to offer an additional avenue you should consider: talking to your OB and perhaps getting a referral to a counselor or considering meds/therapy to help deal with the issue.

If you broke your arm, you wouldn't just go through life hoping, praying, and wishing it would get better, right? You'd go see a doctor and get it set, casted, and learn ways to manage the pain. Once the bone is healed, you'd probably go for physical therapy to rehab the muscles surrounding the bone.

Mental health should work similarly. Clearly you are feeling as if something in your life isn't firing on all cylinders the way it should. So, just like the broken arm example, going to get treatment for your feelings should be just as normal, natural, and acceptable.

Oh, and please don't forget that it took 9 months for your body to CREATE LIFE. Your body just finished an amazing task of putting together cells to make another living human being. It took 9 months to put on the weight, so it will take time for it to come off. Don't get caught up in looking at celebrities - if we all had night nurses, nannies, chefs, personal trainers, and a bazillion dollars at our disposal, well we could 'go back' to our pre-pregnancy self in 8 weeks, too. Unfortunately, that really isn't healthy yet it's like the only thing we see in media.

Good luck to you. Hang in there and I hope something works for you!

Dear E.,
It seems like this is more a issue about your perception than it is a problem with your body. If you can begin to let go of all of the thoughts you have about your body and see it for what it really is. This body of yours is the vessel though which you are able to be in the world. This awesome body you have allows you to move, dance, hold, touch and be with your family (your husband). This body just brought into the world new life!! Your body is a miracle, can you see that?
Your body needs time to recover from the extra ordinary process it has just been though and that does take time. Try to have patience and in the mean time, love it for the miracle that it is. There are many people whose bodies do not function at the level that yours does. How grateful are you to have the use of your body? To have a body that just produced the miracle of new life?
I know there is such beauty in you and your body, I hope you can see it too.
With Love,
D.

Don't feel bad, as a fitness and health professional, an educator in maternal and child health, at 4m, I felt awful...tired, sore, etc. Baby steps. It took me 15m to lose all of my baby weight, the last 10 after I was done bfeeding, took 3m, I stopped when she turned a year old. It takes baby steps, give yourself at least a year, it is a phase of your body's life, it is not forever.

go to www.totalcontrolprogram.com it is a fitness based program designed by a local who has launched it nationally, it helps restore your abs and pelvic floor...it is more than just doing a Kegel...her website is www.womenshealthfoundation.org I am workign towards being a Master Trainer, the studies and results they are publishing are outstanding. Women are feeling better about themselves, the are regaining the strength of their pelvic floor, she also has DVD's, but I highly recommend taking a class so you get the concept first. If you are nursing, it does take a while to get things back to normal...if your baby is waking at night still, this can impact weight loss, the most important hours to get sleep is 11p-5a, if you can get that stretch, you will be great. I had my moments with my hubby too, he always said honestly, he did not care, just to share the love between us is what mattered, so keep that in mind and that should help. That is how you created that beautiful baby.

Hugs to you,
J. W. MPH
Maternal and Child Health Educator
Chicago Examiner Family Health Expert
http://www.examiner.com/x-7158-Chicago-Family-Health-Exam...

E.,
I think you're going through what a lot of new mom's go through. It took me a long time after my first to feel comfortable with myself again. I heard somewhere it takes 9 months to put on the weight and 9 months to lose it. Don't get down on yourself. I definitely think it's worth talking to your OB/GYN or your internist...I'm all for therapy, if you don't feel comfortable taking medication for the depression then you should at least be talking to someone about your feelings. Good luck - things get better!

Hi E.,
Congratulations on being the Mom of a 4 month old baby! It is important to be active, have other Moms to get together with...one of the post natal affirmations is "I can do this!" (because the job of being a Mom is a huge job especially with all the changes to your hormones and the rest of your body).
There is a "baby and me" yoga class for Moms to bring the baby aged 3 month to a year on Tuesdays at 11:15am at www.universalspirityoga.com There are also prenatal/postnatal yoga provided Saturdays at 10am and Sundays at 4:30pm - again you can bring your baby along with you.
It is important let your doctor know about feelings of sadness. You are not alone and you are wise to ask for help.
Having exercise including dance should bring you endorphins which are a "feel good".
I'd also suggest writing in a journal about your exercise and how you feel on a daily basis to see if there are any patterns?
The breathing exercises offered by yoga are known to help people. Yoga has been known to positively impact body image and self esteem. It takes more than one yoga session to do this.

C.
mom of 3
yoga teacher

It has been 7yrs since my twins were born, and I still hate my tummy. I have strong abs underneath, but still have a little of the tummy on top. I still get uncomfortable when I am in positions where my tummy looks really fat and icky.

In order to lose the tummy you need cardio, and strength exercises. The more muscle you have the more fat you burn when you do cardio. I walk as well sometimes, but I feel I really need to work up a sweat to burn more fat.

Instead of kegals, I am using what they call Ben Wa balls. Maybe TMI here, but they are 2 small balls (attached) that go in the vagina, and you can wear them during the day. They work to tighen up down there. My husband actually commented that they seem to be working.

E.,

I can relate to your situation. I currently have 2 sons, 5 yrs and 3 yrs, and when I got pregnant with them, I was 105 lbs. By the time I delivered them I was 165 lbs. And this happened to me twice. You can only begin to imagine the stretch marks I have and how my body looked after delivering them. It took me a long time but eventually I have gotten back down to my pre-pregnancy weight twice. Each time it took a little over two years.

I used to be very self-conscience about my strech marks especially when I would go swimming. But then my sister-in-law told me to just embrace them. You got them for a good reason. And unfortunately they are not going anywhere. The sooner that you can learn to embrace them, the sooner the sex life will come alive for everyone again. I know it's easier said than done (it took me almost 2 years) but it will happen.

Best of luck!
C.

i understand completely; postnatal body is a new territory and can be totally upsetting no matter how beautiful the little one is, or how much hubby tells you it doesnt matter. It's really about how you feel about yourself. But first look at your body as something that accomplished an amazing feat! it grew and gave birth to your baby! congratulations!! Next, understand that it is going to take some hard work to get it back to where you want it to be, and not in a miracle amount of time- it took 9months to get it there! a lot of this is really in our heads- so take control of your thoughts!! You are a strong woman who did something amazing! those stretch marks WILL go away, i recommend a body-oil like bio-oil; i've had success with that only using for 6 weeks. concerning food- you can't starve yourself too much because than your body will go into a starvation mode and backfire- the trick is to eat small meals throughout the day to keep your metabolism up! trick your body!
i know you've probably heard it all before, and it's never easy when looking into the mirror, but you have to be in control of your thoughts. and know that there are others out here who are/were in the same spot you are!

p.s. i am starting a new fitness routine called slim in 6- which is a 6week program that friends of mine have had enormous success with; hopefully it will work, if you want to take a look into it.

good luck! you are a strong woman now!!! be strong for your baby who loves you more than anything in the entire world!

We are all different, but, it usually takes a year for the ole body to spring back and that is with little effort. Try to grow up and stop crying about your body, do you realize how many women are overweight, do you think we all cry about it? How many women have had babies and lost their girlish figures? I have an aunt who had 10 children and she stayed slim all her life. Also, check out the lady on TV with 18 kids. Also knew another woman with 22 who stayed slim. Isn't your wonderful baby worth a few stretch marks (try Cocoa Butter)? So make love in the dark, does it really bother your husband? Basically sex feels great to him even with your extra pounds. I know I am being rather blunt, but you need to get jolted out of this.

Its hard. I have a four year old and still look at myself and see the changes I don't love. But remember, your husband more than likely does not see yourself the way you do. There is more to making love than physical appearance at this stage in the game. Maybe try a nightie that you can keep on...one of those short a-line ones and light some candles so the light is soft. Put a little make up up and try to focus on what you still feel good about.

Also, you may need a different OB if this one isn't understanding you. I remember seeing a couple walking thier dogs and crying because I couldn't do that anymore with a newborn.....then I'd feel bad for feeling that way. It took time but it passed. I bought a long skirt for my son's one year birthday and it fit well. But it was too cold to wear. I took it out for my son's two year birthday and it fell off me! TWO YEARS!

Know that all us moms understand where you are coming from and that we know from experience it all gets better. I had a neighbor who saw me walking my four month old and I thought "oh great another oooh and ahh session". But she saw something in me and pulled me over. She promised me it would all get better and that first year was really h*** o* her (she has four kids!). But it gets more fun and more balanced. If it wasn't for her I may have gone into a full depression! Hang in there!!!

Hi E., It took me a year after my first son was born to get back the normal vaginal feeling and muscle tone I was used to during sex. I know every body is different, but I don't think it's that uncommon. I had some tearing and nerve damage that had to heal. Have you talked to your OB or midwife about the muscle/tone issue?

Also, the days are getting shorter and October is always a gloomy time for me. Maybe you are also reacting to the loss of light. Get outside every sunny hour that you can.

Definitely, for everything related to first-time parenthood, I found getting past the first year was key. Everything got better after that. But don't be shy to ask for help to get through it. Best of wishes!

Hi E.! I hope I don't repeat what anyone else has said but I did not go through the other posts. You sound alot like I was after having my daughter 2.5 years ago. I feel your pain and understand exactly what you are going through and let me tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel! What I am going to tell you is that the doctors all tried pushing depression and anxiety pills down my throat until I gave in and yes while they worked for me at the time, I would never take them again. I recently this summer stopped taking the pills as advised by my doctor because I was feeling 100% better and my husband and I decided to try for baby #2. It has taken 3 months for me to say that I now have no more side effects from the pills. I was having alot of nauseousness and had what the doctor called brain tremors. I don't want to scare you because trust me the pills did work when I needed them but I do not believe any pill should have that bad of a side effect so I personally have decided against ever taking any again. I had other factors that triggered my depression but really it just took time. I started working out, doing my hair, putting on makeup and even seeing a counselor and things slowly started to get better for me. Now that is my story so it may not be how you may feel or how you may want to treat your depression but please know you are not alone! :)

E.
Calm Down girl! Enjoy motherhood, it's an adjustment and your hormones are going koo koo! For most women it takes 2 years to get used to their new body and start seeing a change. my son is 2.5 and I haven't really lost the 25 pounds I gained, but I am not obsessing over it. I am trying to live healthy and move more and that's all you can do. If you dont feel like having sex sometimes just tell your husband. make sure you listen to your body and don't force it, it takes time for the belly and all the other things to contract back, it took 9 months for it to strech give it a year to recover.

E., you are being way too h*** o* yourself plus a little bit of unrealistic expectation and sleep deprivation and no wonder you're not yourself!! First of all, I have heard it takes 2 years for your body to completely recover from one pregnancy. Every woman is different, but most likely you will be able to get back to pre baby weight and tone. It comes easier for some but you seem to be willing to work at it if need be. 4 months is way to soon to expect to be back to normal. Your first child is a big adjustment, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Cut yourself some slack. Things will not only return to normal, they will be better than ever.
C.

Hey there lady...it'll be ok. It is such a shock to the system to go through the pregnancy and post-pregnancy experience. I know I've remained horrified at my pouch (not that I didn't have one before,:-) but it's even more pronounced then it was). It sounds like you are trying really hard to do what you can with diet and exercise, and there are a lot of people with great advice on other exercises.

A friend of mine told me when I went through the same feelings after having my little girl, that it literally took her 2 years with each of her children before she felt fairly normal again. So, give yourself a break and take a deep breath...it will happen in time, although your body may not be EXACTLY the same.

Have you had a very frank talk with your husband? Keep in mind that they can't read our minds, they can't even remotely relate to what we go through, and (no offense to those out there) all they really care about is the fact that they are still getting some action on the homefront. You need to explain to him how you feel so he knows where you're coming from. Prior to this, you've only ever know one body and how that felt. It's kinda like living in someone else's body...very alien feeling. I hope he is making attempts to make you feel beautiful and not bad about yourself.

First, let me say that I have totally been where you are. I had post-pardum depression very badly, but refused to believe it. To begin, my daughter was the result of InVitro fertilization. Because of the hormones I had to take to maintain a pregnancy, I gained 80lbs before I even got pregnant and another 20lbs during the pregnancy. Like you, I was tired of the pills my doctor kept trying to shove down my throat. It took my husband pleading with me to get some help before I knew how bad my depression was. After a short time, my physician was able to help me find a medication that was right for me. It was not until then that I finally started feeling better about myself, and stopped stressing over what I felt I should look like. I started realizing that life is too short and that before I knew it, my daughter would be grown and gone. So I decided to stop stressing about the weight (the anti-depresants helped), and start putting my energy into my family. Once I did this, the weight started coming off all by itself. Now, is my weight where I think I need to be at this very moment? No. But I'm the Mom I always wanted to be. My daughter is now 2 years old and I am still losing weight. I still have a long way to go, but more importantly, I'm enjoying every moment I have with my family.

I hope this helps. Stop stressing over the weight and enjoy your new found job. Being a mother is the most challenging and rewarding job/experience I think one could ever have. And let's face it, once you have a baby, your body just may not go back to exactly the way it was before (I had little hips and my boobs stood up perfectly!) LOL! But you will eventually get the body you will again love and feel comfortable with. It just takes time. Don't be so h*** o* yourself and enjoy being a Mom!! :)

It took 18 months before I could honestly say that my pre-baby body was coming back. Yoga definitely helped to re-strengthen my abdominal muscles. It also was a nice way to relax. It sounds like you are expecting a bit much of yourself at only 4 months post-partum. I know it is really hard to do, but have faith that in time you will feel more like your old self again. Meanwhile, keep eating balanced meals. If you do not take in enough calories your body will be in "starvation mode" and you will actually retain more fat.

I understand about the body. After my first, it took me 7 months to get by prebaby body back! I was thin before I got pregnant, only gained 40 pounds while pregnant, and was doing pilates, Tae-Bo (which will kick your butt, but it works!) to try to get my body back. She was born 2 days before Thanksgiving and it wasn't until June that I was back to normal. I too got frustrated because I knew people who got theirs back in 3 months! Everyone is different, you will get your body back, it just takes time. Your husband should understand that you just had a baby, and it will take some time for that tummy not to jiggle. It was stretched out for several months, so it takes a while. Just be patient, and the body will get back to normal. Good luck!

While breastfeeding my baby, I used to drink mummy magic weight loss tea three times a day and got rid of 35 pounds along with belly pouch.

well i can D. relate to you exspecialy with the whole sterch marks on the back of the knees yeah i got them all over to and im missin my old body like crazy well i have tried everything i could think of my daughter is 10m and im the same weight i was after giving brith i jus cant shake the pds off but i was told about herbale life my friend is doing it and it makes you feel great she let me try the drinks and jus from drinking those 3 drinks once i felt like i lost ten pds but i havent bought it yet but my friend lost 60 pds hope this helps good luck

Hi E. Talk with you OB/GYN about your vagina feeling loose. Your baby is still very young so maybe it's going to take a little longer for you get lose the weight. Just keep at it.

I think its good that you are taking actions about it. Honestly, at least you know that you are NOT alone....TONS of women feel this way after giving birth!

I would suggest using Ben Wa Balls...they help tighten your "area" back up, as well as helping with incontinence and griping your husband better during sex. You can find them online at my website
www.laurenblasek.pureromance.com
or just do an internet search for them...but i love them, it really has made a difference after two kids.

As far as the belly goes...it will get better! Just remember that it took your body months to get big and preggo, so it will take some time to lose that...im still struggling with it too!

Try doing different positions during sex that hinder your hubby's view of your belly....try "spooning" during sex, or the "sissor".....or look in the Pure Romance book "Ride Em Cowgirl" for new and cool ways to change up your positions.

I am sorry you are freaked out but most likely this is a symptom of PPD. We are all freaked out by our bodies after baby (even my 100 lb friend who gave birth to triplets and lost all the weight a month later is still freaked out and her triplets are 2, but realize though she lost the weight her body will never loo like it did prior to that) but your reaction is extreme which means more is going on here. First of all are you getting out with the baby? There are a ton of mom and baby groups on meetup.com. Find a few in your area and GO out! Play with other mommies and never feeel your little one is too young! Just get out of the house and see how all mommies feel too! It is mentally exhausting to be home with your infant every day or work and come home to an infant. Also realize it too 9 months to get your body to look like that it is going to take at least 9 (and maybe more) to get it to go back down...be patient! Honestly I think you know this has nothing to do with the weight and you really need to find someone to talk to so you can get this under control so you dont have to spend another moment feeling this way! GOOOD LUCK!!!!!

I completely know how you feel! It sounds like you are doing good exercise, so keep that up. You mention you do not eat much, but to ensure proper weight loss you do need to eat enough and eat smart, so take care of yourself that way. You also mention the doctor is giving you depression meds. If you are on them, they can cause weight gain or prevent weight loss. Also, be sure your diagnosis is correct if he has you on them. I was once prescribed them and I was totally depressed taking them, as I did not need them (my problem was sinus and inner ear, so the depression meds did wacky things to me). Keep eating right and exercising and in time you will feel better. 4 months is not all that long ago from your body going through so much, so you will need to give it some more time. I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon!

Give yourself a break!! Plus, if you are breastfeeding, sometimes your body holds on to some c*** for the baby. Once I stopped b-feeding I found that my body sculpted a bit better. But give it time. Like the other poster said - it took 9 months to get it that way, give it at least that long to get it back. Good Luck.

Hi E.,

Give it some time. It is still early to think that your body should be back to pre-pregnancy strange. Enjoy the fact that your husband still wants to make love to you and try to focus on that. So, enjoy your little one, because before you know it you will be looking back on this.

I suggest you find another doctor or professional to talk with about this right away!I know you don't think you feel 'despressed' but this is affecting you so much and I am SURE a lot of it is hormonal. Obviously you don't want a doctor who just keeps chucking pills at you, but don't ignore how you feel!!

It can take a LONG time to get back to normal. And to be honest, you will NEVER be back to the body you had before your baby. Your body has done something new and some things are different now. It took 9 months to grow the baby- give yourself at least that long to try and feel back to normal! Crying jags, hating the way your stomach looks, etc. are all common reactions. It doesn't mean you aren't happy with your baby or that anything is wrong with you.

I'm sorry if things like kiegel exercises are not working fast enough and if you are not enjoying sex as you used to. You say that this is affecting you- is it YOU or your HUSBAND who is upset with the sex situation? You both need to be patient and concentrate on how much you love each other and your baby- sex will come back, but you are still healing up!

Women today are under so much unrealistic pressure to get their bodies back after pregnancy. Seeing actresses and supermodels who have an entire full time staff of nannies, chefs and personal trainers makes it extra hard for those of us who have to do it on our own!! Don't be h*** o* yourself and if your husband is giving you a hard time about your tummy or sex, then the two of you should go get some counseling about it. He should be supporting you right now, not tearing down your self-esteem.

Don't stay in and mope! Find a mom buddy in the neighborhood and get out and walk walk walk together! I met my mom buddy one day at a Caribou Coffee and we strollered our sons all over town for about two years. We talked and looked for houses and shopped and it was helpful like nothing else! Get out and walk and not only will you get back in shape, you can make some friends, your baby will love it, and you will be happier too. Congratulations and good luck!!

I know this was asked a long time ago, but I wrote an article about feeling sexy after pregnancy:

http://www.expectantmothersguide.com/library/pittsburgh/f...

I am also the creator of SexCies lingerie, which hides post-partum tummies! Feel free to pm to find out more. :)

E.:

have you considered finding a fitness center near you and finding a trainer to work with you?

warmly,

Patriica, RLC, IBCLC
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions

Have you tried pilates? It suppose to do wonders.
I still have my 10lb baby belly and she just turned 18 years old. I have finally decided what really matters is that my husband still loves me and still finds me sexy after all these years. As you age your body and your husbands body will change for many reasons. When you love somebody you do not notice the little imperfections. My husband still wants me to wear a bikini and I am 45.Trust me I do not have a bikini body any longer. It will get better but in the mean time try not to think about it too much. There's more important things in your life now.

E.,
You are GETTING EXCELLENT ADVICE from us moms. Stop being so h*** o* yourself. It takes so much time to adjust to your new life changing experience. You have new curves, a new baby, and at 4 months post partum- your hormones are still going CRAZY!

I just had my first child in September of 2007. After my son was born, I thought I'd never see my prebaby size again. I was breatfeeding (so doctors told me to continue eating regularly for milk production) and leaking all over the place. My curvy shape got curvier, i had larger breasts than ever before.

I finally took off my prebaby weight, but i still have larger breasts and am more curvy. I'm currently 8 months preggers with a due date of December 16th. I'm currently 13 pounds heavier than the weight i was when i gave birth.

I know I'm going to put on more weight because there's still another month to go. I'm scared and worried that maybe I won't lose all the weight, but I also knwo that my husband loves me.

YOUR CHILD AND YOUR HUBBY LOVE YOU HOWEVER YOU ARE!! After giving birth, I spent the first year retightening my muscles down there and in my opinion, I still think I feel loose and get too wet. In my husband's opinion, I'm tighter than before and he likes the extra moisture (sorry if it's TMI).

This sounds so simple, but start really believing the compliments you receive. I have the feeling that you are a SMOKIN' HOT MILF and you are in need of a girl's night out so you can see just how attractive and beautiful you still are.

Don't look at celeb moms who bounce back before even being released from the hospital. My huaband said it best when he said, "Well, of course they're back to whatever size. They're paid to look like that." Love yourself, embrace the possible new curves, keep striving! It took me 2 years to bounce back ONLY to now go back for the same body transformation.

E. -

First - I want you to think about what your body - has accomplished in the last year and a half! It created a miracle - provided a safe, warm environment for a new life to develop in - and more love than could be contained within you! Your body changed to allow that miracle to occur - and although - the truth is - it will never be the same - the truth is IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!!! For that you should be proud!!! I always worked hard to lose weight before my children were born - but after giving birth - once via c-section and 2nd time - naturally- my body has changed...for the better - no way! But it now shows the stretch marks that were made to accomodate my boys. I have made peace with them - as well as my breasts that do not reside in the same locale they did prior to having kids - by saying to myself - these are my badges of honor - I earned them when I created the miracle of life. They will be with me always - and will always remind me of what I've done. We proudly display trophies and other awards we receive throughout our lifetimes - but of this we are ashamed? Why? Of course - the media - with it's pictures of actresses and models - who show no signs of giving birth - a month afterwards -gives us the false impression that if they did it we can too. If we could airbrush ourselves every morning - those would be gone! If we had personal trainers - it might help with the bulges, etc and if our plastic surgeons could tuck us back where we belong - then we too would appear that way. But after what you have achieved - do you want to hide every piece of evidence? Be proud of what you've accomplished - I know its' hard - and your tired and hoping for some sliver of pre-baby life - but it will come back - most of it. But you also have this beautiful being to enjoy as well - don't let time go by without doing so. I will bet that your husband probably only notices these things - when you are feeling so self-conscious - otherwise he's still enjoying your body - changes and all. If you are self-conscious being naked - buy some beautiful lingerie - which we know is out there - and leave pieces of it on - try new positions - if you are self conscious about the bulges and stretch marks - you never know - he may really enjoy those things as well. As far as feeling loose in the vagina - - that will decrease with time - it's muscle - and as you exercise it - it tightens up. Enjoy the different sensations as it does - because it does change things over time as well.

I also reminded myself that there are millions of women out there that would give anything - stretch marks from head to toe; breats to their knees; flabby bellies - just to be able to have a child. I don't mean to be harsh - but it's all about putting things into perspective - and being proud of what you accomplished...it's not easy but your body did it and know that it can also achieve getting back into shape - one day at a time...

You are beautiful - and I'm sure that your husband thinks so - so talk to him - express your concerns and let him reassure you as well...