I Am Mildly Freaking Out over Pregnancy.

Updated on October 19, 2010
M.K. asks from Glendale, CA
25 answers

Hi everyone

I am old (or at least I feel old), 36 years old, 2 kids, one is 8 one is 2. I was SOOOO done, I knew I didn't want any more children, the main reasons were 1. my age, 2. we live in a tiny 800 sq foot 2 bed 1 bath trailer, with no prospects of buying a bigger house, or even adding on due to money,3. my husbands job is very unstable, 4. I am just DONE!!

Anyway on my birthday my hubby decided to surprise me with some nice sex - sorry TMI!!, we usually use condoms, but this time he decided to pull out - long story short, my period is now 2 months late, I did a few tests and they were all negative (like 5 tests, all negative), so I thought PHEW!! pcos playing up or something. I decided to do another test today, after the 2 minutes were up I threw it in the trash - another negative. I go to pee about 20 mins later ( I have been peeing a lot!), and lo and behold peeking out of the trash can was a very positive test, it had changed! so I do another one - negative. so 7 tests, 6 negative, 1 positive.
I feel pregnant, after 2 kids, I know what to feel for, so I am really confused as to why all these tests are negative, I should be around 11 weeks at least by my calculations - has anyone had this happen before.

Also I am jumping the gun a little here, but reason number 5 why I REAAALLLY didn't want to be pregnant is that I JUST started back to school, and I really want to see it through to the end, so we can get out of this bloody financial hole we are in - So should I just continue with my plans?, put my 2 youngest in daycare, and just carry on with school?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

phew...phew, PHEW!
blood test came back not pregnant - still no period though over 2 months late now, so that's a bit weird - so false positives do occur!

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

Test are not reliable after the 2-10 minute window listed on the directions. An evaporation line can make a test appear as positive if it's out of the time window listed on the directions. Find a Planned Parenthood or other free clinic near you and have a test done there!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

You can finish school for this entire school year. You can probably even start back up pretty soon too. I homeschool 4 of my kids and teach ballet to homeschoolers all while exclusively breastfeeding. I do have a lot of help (see my kids' ages...LOL) I just had my 5th baby at 39. I thought we were done too. My other kids are 16, 15, 9 and 7. Now I have a 6 month old too. LOL I did fine being pregnant while "old." Good luck and congratulations!!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is not true that you cannot get a positive test when you are not pregnant. If you use a blue-dye test it is common to get a false positive, especially if you let it sit for 20 minutes.

The best thing to do is to go get a blood test done. This will relax you and will also allow you to move on, if indeed you are not pregnant.

Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

First off take a breath, Second call they dr and go in for a blood test that is the only way you will find out for sure. Third, I commend you for wanting to better yourself and going back to school. Just relax and remember God never gives you more than you can handle.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

you will be in summer break when you give birth if you are pregnant. second if you are preg 36 isnt too old if it is someone forgot to tell me. :) third I have put 5 people in a 2 bedroom trailer hard yes doable yes. cramped very.

god never gives you more than you can handle. ps happy late birthday relax it will all work out.

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M.M.

answers from Hickory on

I say keep with the school. It is going to be hard but nothing worth while is easy really. I say on the baby note you need to get into see your doctor. One good blood test will end all your questions. I just turned 30 last week so I know there is a difference in our ages. But, I have a 10 and 6 year old, we homeschool, I got to school, husband works and goes to school, we live in a very small old 2 bedroom farm house, very low income, have been trying for number 3 for over 2 years but can not get a keeper, and then you add in my husband preaching. It can be done. Hang in there. I will keep you in my prayers.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,
First of all you need to speak with your husband about the possibility you are pregnant. Then you have to go to the doctor's for a proper examination and maybe a blood test to be sure.
If you are thinking of terminating this pregnancy you are fast running out of time. I understand this would not be an easy decision and maybe you are painting yourself into a corner so you don't have to make a choice. Remember that having a child is best when you are wholeheartedly choosing to do so. Your baby would feel any resentment you have toward it. You still have the chance to fully exercise your power to have choices, don't waste it.
Your life goals are important, I certainly don't want to diminish them. I just hope that can make a conscious decision about what you want so that whatever you choose you know you were in control. Don't leave it all to chance and feel like a victim of circumstance later, that would not help you or your family in any way. Especially if you add a new member who has no fault in any of it.
Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Albuquerque on

Make an appointment with your doctor! If you have PCOS then it could be playing games on you especially if you are stressed over it. Doctor test/ultra sound could clear up the confusion.

If you are pregnant....you will be just fine. You sound very intelligent and will be able to figure out how to get to school, finish your degree to better your family. You might be able to qualify for some kind of assistance for child care or grants for school. This wee little one might be your blessing in disguise.

Life is precious always and FOREVER!!

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well hon, you might be pregs! But I see no reason why you can't finish this semester and probably next with no prob. If you are you will be having a summer deliver, I got pregs in October once;) Had my first babe on July 10th. So I think school is a go regardless. I think if I were you I would just wait a week or so, cough up the $ and get a name brand test, like First Response or something and test first thing in the morning. When I am really paranoid, I just do the whole put it in a cup and dip the stick, that way I know I did it right!! By twelve weeks you should be showing up pregs. If you are still negative, you may need a blood test because that missing period is very suspicious. As far as being old, don't worry!!! PLENTY of people have babies at 36, you are perfect. Heck, I plan to get pregs with the last one at 35 and deliver at 36, I am not worried:) Also, I know your house is small, but it is doable. Baby will be with you for a few months and then maybe you can set up a bunk bed/crib thing in the room. Or leave the crib in your room for a bit. Maybe get some room dividers and set up the dining room as a baby area. I know it is tight, but life as a way of working out when it comes to the kiddos. Hang in there, you'll be alright. If you find out for sure you're not, then you can think on maybe something more permanent? I think after #3 we are snippin' and tyin' around here!!! Wish you the best:)

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Boise on

The reason that they give that time is because that is the true result....you aren't supposed to look at it after the fact, as it may change. If it was 20 minutes later, and every other test is negative, I would think it is negative. I would call your ob and get a test, just in case, but don't assume anything until you get the blood test.

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L.R.

answers from Wausau on

Here for some hope, we found out we were pregnant with our third, two weeks after my husband (only source of income) lost his job, we did not plan on a third but surprise...he ended up finding a job 5 months later, we survived some major medical issues with the pregnant along with the job loss and my spending lots of time in the hospital post delivery. We now have a wonderful 5 month old and a 5 yr old and 3 yr old and I am going back to college, I just started up again, taking a few classes at a time and it has been great. I do not plan on going back to work until my youngest is in school it is rough, very rough, but worth every moment. So if you are pregnant congrats as the baby is a wonderful gift. I felt very similar when I first found out I was pregnant with my third, but those thoughts are gone and we are loving life.

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S.H.

answers from New York on

You can have a false negative (or 10) I never tested positive with either of my kids because I have kidney disease and drink water non stop. I was told my urine was too diluted and the blood test I took five minutes after the urine test was the way I always found out. So I echo going to the dr. or clinic and getting an answer. From there you can decide what you want to do and what is best for your family and your mental health. We are also done and there is no way I would have another child. Financially it would be impossible and my loyalty lies with the two children we planned to have. I wouldn't do anything to change life for them and for our family that decision would be one we are ok with living with. You have to do what is best for you. Good luck and I hope the test comes out the way you want it to.

K.C.

answers from Dallas on

Tests read after 10 minutes are invalid, so I wouldn't worry over that test since you read it after the time frame. Worrying about being pregnant...that could give you a 'phantom' pregnancy, and even though you've had kids before, you could swear it's real and it's not. Stress can not make youy test positive just so you know. ONLY hcg in the urine can make you test so unless you are on fertility meds with that in there...anyhow...
test again in the morning...but i'd have to say that you're not. atleast that's what it's sounding like. stress can make you period late...being 36, maybe pre-menopause? (sorry i don't mean to offend...just thinking out possibilities)... good luck either way...

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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

doesn't sound like you're pregnant. Get a blood test done to be sure before you freak yourself out anymore. Sorry you're so stressed right now...

S.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

i say carry on with school until you know for sure..then just pause it when due date (if any) rolls around. pg is only 9 months but a semister is shorter than that.

good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello M.,
I don't mean to scare you, but if the line was as dark as the negative line, then you are most likely pregnant, if you did let it sit too long and took a second look the urine inside sometimes makes the other line show lightly. As my doctor told me about pregnancy tests, you can get a false negative, but you can NOT get a false positive. You have to have the hormones in your body a pregnancy creates in order to have a positive outcome. So as everyone else has said go to the doctors they will confirm. Good luck to you!

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

All pregnancy tests say not to read them after a period of time, so chances are that after the 20 minutes, something happened that changed the result of the test. When you read it in the proper timeframe, it was negative. I can't explain you late period, except to say that yes, you 'could' be pregnant. But it is also 'possible' (although probably unlikely) that you could be in peri-menopause, which can disrupt normal periods? Just a thought.

At this point, I think I'd want to get tested by a doctor to see what's really going on.

Let us know what you find out.

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

There are many reasons your period could be late, stress being one of them. :-)
The test you saw in the trash was probably an evaporation line, not a positive test since the next one came out negative as well. If you have insurance ask you doctor to do a blood test and explain the circumstances, otherwise you just have to wait.
If you are pregnant and you obviously really don't want another child, seriously think about adoption. There are many loving couples that are longing for a baby, if you aren't in a position to raise one (school, work, etc.) think about it. Maybe its what's best for the baby?

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M.!.

answers from Columbus on

Most tests are invalid after 10 mins.

Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

Retest in the morning, after the time is up on pregnancy tests they aren't valid anymore nor can be reused by a Dollar Tree test first morning urine retest.I can see why your done with chidren so am I,I have 3 going to be 31 next March our lives as a family have started since birth but as they grow it becomes more adventourus and being that my youngest is 18 months old we still stay home quiet often & let the daddy take the other oldest out on adventure walks fishing sledding in the winter & so on adding another would be great but right now isn't the time if my BC failed i'm using VCF I would be upset I have thought about the Mirena or copper IUD but yikes some of the major side effects well scared me I haven't called my OB to schedule an appt.(I don't want to be on hormonal BC)
As for your life that is your decision you & your hubby need to discuss.But that Birthday sex was sure good look where it got you in a possible position you didn't want to be in pulling out is a failed method it doesn't work...

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M.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M..

Please go see your Doctor for a blood test. This happened to me a while back, I was indeed pregnant but, it was a tubal pregnancy (ectopic). That was the reason my home test were coming out negative but, all the symptoms were there. It wasn't till I started having some pain/ discomfort that I went to the Doctors and had a blood test done, followed by ultrasounds and ultimately ended up having surgery to have it removed. This may not be your case but, you need to go find out what it is! Sorry, sad story and probably freaked you out a bit but, see – being pregnant isn't the worst thing that can happen to you right now. I say this after having "2" ectopic pregnancies before having two healthy babies through IVF – I'm 35 going on 36 and planning to start on baby #3!!! I'm not rich, I'm ok but, my babies are my life. I guess because I'm unable to conceive naturally I see every baby as a blessing.

Good luck in your findings and any decisions you take.
-M.

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Stress might be giving you the false positive on that test. Go see your doc for a blood test.
Since you dont want to be pregnant and you made love without protection you probably have been stressed out since that day, right?
Since you have a 2 year old, it wont be THAT bad bringing another baby into the mix and I'm sure the kids will be excited.
Just take a deep breath, say a prayer, get a blood test and go with the plan. If you dont want anymore children you probably ought to get fixed so you and hubby can enjoy sex without the worry, it sure makes a huge difference... or have him get fixed (its cheaper) ;)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well....congratulations!
How will you be able to put 2 in daycare & go to school financially?
If you can & want to---do!
You're not the first woman to have a badly timed pregnancy. I don't think there's ever a "perfect" time to have a baby.
And just for a little lift--I was 39 when I had my child. Perfectly normal/healthy pregnancy, delivery and child. So--you're really not "old"!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Do your best to stay in school- it's an investment of time and money that will not be wasted. You CAN do it- daycare, babysitters, online courses- it is possible. In the meantime, schedule an appointment for a test with your doctor. My understanding is that "false negatives" are pretty common, but "false positives" don't happen- either you have those hormones in your urine or you don't!

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