We let our son go until he was 10 years old, the doctor said as he grew it might allow some adjustment, so we hoped. We didnt want to put him through surgery as an infant, unable to express himself, wearing diapers would have impeded the healing and all...So, as a gradeschooler he couldn't urinal (group) pee, so what? But when he went to use stalls at school, boys would peek under, or kick the doors in on him, others just curiously asking why he went in all the time. You know how kids can be.
As we started discussing & thinking about the pressures he was under our older son flat out told us it was time to get his defect repaired. Puberty was right around the corner, how would it be when he began experiencing erections, life was already difficult for him because we had allowed so much time to pass. So we got him the surgery. He came through it fine, and while I felt so guilty for letting him get older and not having it fixed before, I was also grateful he could express his discomfort and tell us what helped. How much or little pain he was having etc. He came home with a catheter, we used a wheelchair for him,- and had to finish healing under our care, we did it over the Christmas break, so he had some recuperating time. He's turning 18 in two months, and enjoys good overall health. I'm glad that stage of his life is behind him. But I feel for you, in the decision making part, truly. One thing about a little one, he wont recall going through the procedure like mine did, he wont be big and embarrassed about it all, although there are the issues of him being smaller - of course, these are some things to think about. I trusted the doctor, he'd done a million or so before too. I send you a hug, and I hope it helps!