Husband Working Late - VERY Annoyed

Updated on October 13, 2011
T.M. asks from Tampa, FL
51 answers

Ok ladies, talk me down here. My husband was required to work late tonight...he works for a State agency. This is not a frequent thing, so I am trying very hard not to lose my temper here. Anyway, he said that he would text when he was on his way home...he did not know what time he would finish. Keep in mind that he is a supervisor on salary, but he does not get comp time or anything for this. I do understand what salary mean...I am a salaried employee myself. I realize that sometimes you have to work some uncompensated overtime to get your job done. However, a salaried employee usually gets a higher salary or some sort of extra benefit to do this. State workers in Florida have not gotten so much as a cost of living raise in 6 YEARS. In fact, they were given a paycut earlier this year and have been getting cuts in benefits for the last 2 years. I cannot believe that his job has the NERVE to ask him to work extra given how he has been treated. The reality is that he needs to find another job, but that is a whole other issue. In all liklihood, he will not even get so much as a thank you from his boss for doing this. It is almost 9 p.m and he is not home yet. He didn't even make it home to say good night to our children. Maybe I am unreasonable,but I am PISSED!!!

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So What Happened?

Yes, I am glad that he has a job. And NO his salary does not really compensate for extra hours. Did any of you hear the NO raises for 6 years? Yes, it is the right thing to do to work extra hours when needed. However, this job has not done the right thing by him either. And no, I didn't blow up when he got home. This is just really annoying...

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I'm sorry but I don't get it.
It's a once in a while thing , not every night or even every week? And you're complaining? Many people would give their right arm right now to just HAVE a job.
He's working late, not getting anything extra for it. What happened to the days when people worked late because it was the right thign to do because it was what got the job done?
Try being a spouse of a soldier working 16hr days in Iraq. They don't get overtime pay for doing their job.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I can't tell who you are mad at...but, It's NOT his fault. He's just working. He's doing what he feels he has to. I think the issue IS that he needs to find a new job. Would you be getting mad, if he didn't need a new job? He knows he is missing saying goodnight to his children. He will likely come home tired, stressed, and frustrated. Let it go, YOU being mad...will not help him.

8 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

If it's not frequent, then what's the big deal.. Don't know about Florida compensation, but state workers in California get great benefits so if that means they have to do some OT... then so be it... welcome to the workforce.. in the private sector, we have to do it all the time....

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I'm sure you already realize this... but... please be thankful that he still has a job!

At this point, he probably does need to keep the boss satisfied... otherwise, if job cuts come around, he may remember who WASN'T able (or didn't want to) stay late!

As someone else has mentioned, when he comes home, don't gripe at him about him working so late... commiserate with him about how unfair it was, if that is what he needs, and love him for working so hard for his family.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Hey, I get stuck late at work all the time. As someone who is currently the main bread winner, and has a husband who can't find work right now, you are not going to find a lot of sympathy from me.

As a veterinarian, if an emergency happens to come in the door at the last minute, or something just takes longer than expected, there I am - I can't just drop everything and leave. My husband understands this, and we both know it's part of the job - I don't get paid anything extra for staying and doing my job. It's just what I have to do. There have been times I have not made it home in time to say goodnight to my daughter either. It's not all the time, but just here and there, and it's just one of those things. I don't like it, but we can all deal.

If it's really that once-in-a-while, I wouldn't get that upset about it. YOU may not be happy about it, but maybe you should be happy he has a job at all. This world is full of people who work at their jobs and go the extra mile and we would be in a sorry state if everyone just clocked out at 5pm and didn't care. Would you rather he be out of a job and then be home all the time until he finds another one?

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

My husband has to work till 9 many nights and misses seeing his kids for whole days since they go to bed around 8. Its a bummer but at least your hubby doesnt have to do it often.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Beth is totally right. You have no reason to be annoyed

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I know you're mad, well, "pissed", but this isn't something that happens frequently. It may not seem fair that state employees haven't gotten a cost of living raise in 6 years, but it's better than getting the axe all together.
You think Florida is bad? California is a frigging mess, there is a hiring freeze for state employees not to mention hours and benefits being cut.
The private sector is even worse.
Do I get paid what I'm worth? NO. Do I have the benefits I deserve? NO. Do I have to work harder and do more than my share? YES.
But, I am a single mother who would be on the street without my job. I'm glad I've made myself as valuable as I have because only me and two other people have not had their hours cut or been laid off all together.
I'd rather cry because I'm exhausted trying to pick up the slack than cry because I can't pay my rent.
If my boss has the NERVE to ask me to absorb some extra responsibilities, I'm not about to tell her to stuff it because someone who's been laid off would be happy to get their job back and learn mine.
It's all how you put things in perspective.
I'm happy to have a job at all.

Just my opinion.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Is he being held hostage at his state job or can he look for something else? Uncompensated overtime as you call it is the cost of doing business. The higher wage is calculated in the salary to make up for extra hours. If it only happens once in a while, he can consider himself lucky. I guess that is one of the perks of a state job. There are other jobs out there, not all of them permit the husbands to be home at five for their wives though. Appreciate what you have.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He has a job.
It may not be ideal, but he sometimes has to work late.
My Husband works late too sometimes. He gets no comp time or overtime pay either.
The nature of his job, is as such. He knew that. I knew that. It just is.
Sometimes, things requires working late.
In the private sector, 'raises' are not a lot either. Just 4% annual perfunctory raises, if you make the performance evaluations. And there is no cost of living raises. Only the Fed jobs, have that, mostly. But they are on lean times too. Many jobs are. But that doesn't mean the work load, decreases. Many are being laid off too.

It is not your Husband's fault.
Not all Bosses, are demonstrative, about 'thanking' their staff.
But your Husband can for his own personal use, document what extra hours he works and how he succeeds at his job. Because, this would be a way in which, IF he looks for another job, that he can then put these things down as notations, per future interviews, about how HE handles his job/demands/requirements and problem solves in his job, etc.
So, it is for future... use and helping him to get another job. If he does that.
And if he wants to get another job, well, his present job will be the place that a future Employer, calls, for references. So, to be a stellar employee now... will bode him better in the future, per any potential job prospects.
If he makes a drama about his working 'late'... well any current Boss of his, will note that. And it will work against him, per any future job prospects he has. Employers, want 'team players' who can do their job and problem solve and work well, for the Team's objectives.

We have kids. My Husband works late and also goes to school and is always working even if at home. He works even on weekends. Our kids, understand that. I am often home alone... with our kids. I don't make it more stressful, that it has to be. My Husband can't help it. It is not his ideal either, but he has to do it. Or not have a job.
My Husband does not work late, because it is his choice. His Boss... expects it. Sure, it is not 'fun' for my Husband either. But until he gets another job... this is how it is. And maybe even, any future job he has, will be more demanding? That is always, a potentiality.

5 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I think you're a bit over the top with your anger. My husband works two jobs every day, leaving at 7:30 AM and he doesn't get home until 11 PM most nights. It's still hard to make ends meet. His day job is extremely stingy and they try to screw him over constantly. They add to his work load and he's pretty much doing the work of four people plus a supervisor, but he's making pretty close to what he started with six years ago.

Your kids are lucky that they get to see him as often as they do. To lose just a rare evening here and there is NOTHING.

4 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

And how often has he had to call and say I'm not going to be home for a while... ?
If this is once in a blue moon territory, then drop it. If it is weekly or daily, then yes, you are justified in being annoyed.

As for not saying goodnight to your children... my husband has days he isn't home from work to say good night to the children on a regular basis. Every Tuesday and Wednesday night for the past several YEARS. It's a fact of life that sometimes that is going to happen. For some of us, it happens a lot more often than others. Count your blessings that it is STRANGE in your household. ;)

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M.B.

answers from Orlando on

Wow I'm sorry but your kinda making a big deal out of nothing. My husband is rarely home to tell our son goodnight before he goes to bed, so my son gets to see him all but 5 mins in the morning before he's off to school. And yes he's salaried as well...and he works about 12hrs a day,just about everyday. Yea it sucks but at least in your case its not all the time. Sometimes we have to sacrifice to keep our jobs.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

You're mad at his employer, not him, correct?

I'd be frustrated, too. Unfortunately, employers are in a position to overwork & underpay their employees because of the economy, and yes, he should be happy to have the job.

I know it still sucks, though. At least it's not a normal thing, and to be honest, I'm not really sure why you're THAT pissed off. And it's much better than being on one income & being broke.

The no raise thing? Believe me, he's not the only one. He does have a secure government job & is on salary, so I'm assuming he makes a pretty decent wage, and that you have pretty good benefits.

When it comes to thinks worth being mad about, it's just not worth it, IMO.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read anyone else's response so forgive me if I repeat what others have said.

It stinks but there are sooo many people who would gladly take your husbands job, unpaid overtime and all. Unfortunately, no pay raise is the sign of the times. We have dealt with cuts in benefits as well as higher premiums since Obamacare was passed and a nearly impossible to achieve bonus structure. My husband works about 50 hours a week. I don't get mad anymore. I just keep remembering that mile long line that I saw at the job fair on the news the other day and I thank God every day that he has a job. I won't discuss him changing jobs because now he has a little seniority. If he gets another job and their are layoffs, he would be the first to go.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Since this is not a frequent thing, I don't see the problem. When it does become more frequent, then get pissed. One night is a drop in the bucket in the big picture. Be thankful he has a job! No one ever said life is fair :)

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

My husband works extra hours for no extra pay and he's out of town this week on business and won't get extra either. I sometimes get frustrated but I really have to work hard to have a positive attitude for my sake and my families sake. He hasn't had a raise in 4 years and he didn't get any of the bonuses that were promised to him for doing huge extra side jobs for the company. I really got to the point where I'm happy for him and stay positive and excited even though sometimes it's wearing on us. These are hard times. I do feel appreciated though or he does at work. =) That does help. If you feel like you're being taken advantage of, that makes the sacrifice that you (or hubby) makes unbearable. I totally understand how you feel. I hope he comes home soon and that you feel better really quickly! Hang in there!!!!!

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O.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi T..

Sounds like you are truly angry with the fact that he is not being compensated for his hard work and extended hours. Even though you are upset right now, I think it would be best for you to try not to take your frustration out on your husband when he walks into the house. I'm sure he is tired and also disappointed that he didn't get to say good night to your children.

Unfortunately, we are experiencing the impact of the economy on jobs. Businesses are expecting more without the compensation. While I understand your frustration about this, I think there are many people who are dealing with similar situations. In this economy, people are afraid to lose their jobs and so they are doing whatever it takes to remain employed.

Support your husband the best way you can. He'll appreciate it.

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V.C.

answers from Dallas on

My husband is still at work too, after going in for a short while at 8 am then back at noon. He has been working lots of overtime for the last year. Thankfully he loves his job. But since one of our sons is in college and the other a high school senior, I am alone a lot and I don't like it either.
But fortunately, he did get a little overtime pay last year for a few weeks. And they have been very understanding that he had to miss lots of work when both his parents died this year and I had two surgeries. Unfortunately no vacation time left so younger son and I will probably have to do college visits without him.
Over all, we are just thankful he has such a great job and benefits. I try not to let him know if I get annoyed.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I just hope you are mad at Florida and not your husband. Until he has another job this is it. I am sure your husband would rather be home with you and the kids an not at work. Can you just imagine if you were him how you would feel if after working a long day, spending the whole evening wanting to be home with your family, you come home to a raging wife or in your case husband.

If you think you are miserable imagine how he feels..

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L.N.

answers from Nashville on

I deal with the same thing at times with my husband's job. For instance, he has to work all day tomorrow (Saturday), no extra pay and definitely no thank yous and, absolutely, no raise in pay in who knows how long.

And, yes, I get pissed to. I TRY to remember that I am mad at the circumstance and the job and his bosses - not at him. Something we remind each other is that we are on the same team.

It IS frustrating and I am sorry you have to deal with it. I am sure he would rather be at home with his family, just like I know my husband would rather spend his Saturday not working....

Take a deep breath, hug your husband and realize that I am writing this right now in a good frame of mind :o)

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband was out of town last week (for our anniversary)... and again this past week (over my birthday). He works late often, not as late as 9 p.m., but past dinner regularly. He also travels regularly.

It sounds like you are annoyed, which I get, but I don't think it is worth being really angry (pissed) about. If it happened everyday, that'd be something to be pissed about.

Jessica

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E.M.

answers from Kansas City on

you have every right to vent, and I think the fact that you vented on here and not to him was mature enough and nice enough too. I would be pissed too even though the rational part of my brain would tell me it was no big deal!!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

It may be annoying, but it's a reality. People are working long hours, and sometimes they're working long hours every single day, not just occasionally. If your husband had made a stink about wanting to not work late, I'm sure there would have been a line of people waiting to take his job. My husband works from home, so he's never really away from work. He's on conference calls and on his computer from 7am to 8pm, the other day, he was on a call at 12:40am (with people in another country). Of course, it also means that on weekends he can work, too, since there's ALWAYS something to be done and his office is right down the hall. On days he's not working from home, he's traveling for work. Is it annoying that he's a workaholic? You bet. Is EVERYONE in his company doing the same thing? Yep. Am I THRILLED he has a job and makes enough to let me stay home with the kids? ABSOLUTELY. It IS annoying, but the alternative (no job) is terrifying.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Just be lucky it's not a frequent thing. My husband frequently works late and frequently studies for his NCARB exams, so I am basically acting as a single parent. Life is very hard right now. About a year ago his firm decided that their people needed to stay longer than the 4:30 quitting time (he frequently did anyway) so they basically mandated that everyone was "expected" to stay until 5:30 and get paid the same as they did when they left at 4:30-EVERY DAY. So now when he works late, he's getting home at 6:30 instead of 5:30. When he really works late, he doesn't get home until 8:00. By then I've done homework, dinner, baths all by myself. And, I know all about not getting as much as a thank you from the boss. My husband worked on an entire project all on his free time for work and didn't see a dime of the money they made on it. I doubt he got a thank you either. So, take a deep breath and be glad it's just tonight and not all the time. Peace!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes, be thankful he has a job, but I'd be mad too.My husband used to work 60 hour weeks when he was paid for 40 - and that left me to care for our 3 children after I had been at work all day, when I also do my MBA online. Ugh! It will be okay. He'll be home and in a day this won't matter at all :o). Grab a book and enjoy your peace and quiet.

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I know it's easy to feel wronged when you don't have much perspective on how bad it really can be, but trust me, rare unpaid overtime is not so bad. I used to get pissed about lots of unpaid overtime and my husband having to travel a lot and be away for weeks at a time but then he lost his job and we lost our health insurance and he'd be happy to work 80+ hours a week if he could only be salaried again with health insurance. Having a steady paycheck that doesn't fluctuate widely from check to check is something we got used to after twelve years of steady salaried employment. Moving to part time hourly employment, where every single hour is accounted for, yet hours can be cut without pay, is not better than being salaried by a long shot.

I wish I could commiserate with you but I'd rather just trade problems with you because I'd rather have your problems than mine.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

I can totally relate to your feelings.
Let me start by saying that I am glad that my husband has a good job:
with that being said. My husband is also a salary employee, he works about 90 hours a week. It gets very lonely being home alone all the time. My kids are now teenagers and it is even lonelier that they now are getting their own lives. My life has been like this for about 3 years now.
They are now changing his position... I am wondering if my life is ever going to go back to normal.
Please!!! Step back and look that it was only 1 evening... try 3 years!!!

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

I would say get a grip!
And my husband has his own business and he still works 14 hour days, 6 days a week. You gotta do what you gotta do!
I guess it wouldn't hurt to have him update his resume, but if he is not interested in switching, you will not get far with that.
Good Luck!

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S.G.

answers from Tampa on

Wow! Sure I don't like it when hubby has to work late but mine has to stay until the job is done. That means that many days he doesn't see the kids at all. He leaves the house at 6a & I'm thankful the nights he's home by 7p. There have been nights he hasn't been home before midnight. There have been weeks that my older son has not seen his dad for 4-5 days b/c he came home after he was asleep. Mine also has to work every other weekend as well.

I am on maternity leave now but I am salaried & have to work late too sometimes. There are times that I've actually had to pick up kids & take them back to work w me. I'm a social worker so there haven't been raises in a while & still we are thankful for our jobs.
Vent away but w so many people out if work right now, I'd keep that to myself.

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K.L.

answers from Lafayette on

I've been working on my days off to survive the extra work they are giving me (salaried). It is the way it is now. Hope it continues to be infrequent for you and yours!

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G.S.

answers from New York on

My husband didn't get a raise in over 6 years and then he was laid off from it when his company was bought out. I'll spare you the "your husband is lucky to have a job schpeel" but will finish up w/this, my husband is now working a job that pays 1/3 less, we had to sell our house in a short sale and we continue to appreciate everything life has thrown our way, even the 20 hour days he sometimes works between his full & p/t job just to make it. Unfortunately companies aren't what they used to be, they don't appreciate workers like they used to. When we bought our house 7 years ago, my husband's old boss told us to find a home that we loved and he gave my husband a raise to accomodate his salary so that we were able to afford the mortgage. Gone are those days. I know it's frustrating when you see your loved one being taken advantage of, but honestly it's all the name of the game these days. My husband knows that w/the job he has that if he complains, there are about 100 other people who would be willing to take his place. Funny thing is, he was actually making less on unemployment, but we needed the benefits. Hopefully something will give sometime soon, but to be honest with you, I stopped holding my breathe a while ago. Hang in there.

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A.S.

answers from Austin on

It sucks, and it's hard, but it's the way things are. If he hates it and it's that much then, yes by all means encourage him to look elsewhere, but I don't think you will find much. Working crazy hours is a regular thing in my husband's job and I have come to accept it. I don't start getting mad until it's been several days in a row that I barely have seem him (and I am talking midnight or later each day). Even then I try my best not to take it out on him but I know sometimes it's a failure to plan properly that usually causes it...sometimes on his part, sometimes on others. He understands why I get upset but usually as long as he keeps in contact with me and lets me know as much in advance as possible what's going to go on that night, I have learned to accept it. It is more important that he has a job and on top of that, one he loves doing. Are you sure it is his work asking him to stay, also? Usually my husband just stays when he needs to stay to get the job done, has nothing to do with what they say...but then he is kinda entry level management and he just has to make sure things get done regardless of what hours it requires. It is hard to work around jobs like that when you have a family, but you do what you have to do. We have learned an appreciation just of having a job since he was laid off last year and just got this new job in March.

Good luck! And just give him a call every once in a while and check in on things, have the kids call and tell him goodnight, etc. It's annoying but it will pass.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

The world is in such a bad economic state that there are very many places overloading people and taking advantage. My husband works hours and hours and then brings paperwork home. He used to be so sweet and he is now the biggest crank. My job which I thought would be fun, pays little but we have insurance and they are stressing the heck out of me to the point my gums hurt. (going to the dentist today). At any rate it is terrible. And I can understand exactly how you feel. So many people are afraid to say anything because they do not want to lose their jobs. All I can say is I have a hunch one thing is selling pretty good: alcohol. No one can afford therapists these days to deal with all of this. Good luck. Glad you didn't blow up.

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T.C.

answers from New York on

Well I don't blame you for being frustrated and the real issue is you hate seeing him being taken for granted and are probably mad at him for not trying harder to get another job. The positive thing is that if he's the kind of man who is that dedicated to his job, in the long run he is eventually going to succeed. Either he'll go into business for himself or he will find the right position where he is appreciated and paid for his hard work.

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

AHHHHH there is a god!! You understand me!!! No one is going to understand this.. unless they are in your position.. just know, I feel your pain :(

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J.S.

answers from Tallahassee on

Yes, I do understand.However try to see some of the good points.Foremost he has a job.He isn't getting what he should get paid,but at least he isn't working beneath his skills and just settling for any job that pays "some" of the bills.I am not discounting your frustration, but you say this is not asked for all the time.I will not give you a laundry list as I am sure you have my point.It just brings home the point most of all- that this country needs help getting back on track because there is a whole country of us suffering due to the waste of our money in Washington.We need to band together and put a stop to it before it gets worse.

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B.A.

answers from New York on

Sorry to hear that. My husband is working late too, and missed saying good night to our 15 month old.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Vent away here but comfort and be understanding with your husband. Do not let him know how angry you are. You can tell him you missed him. You can tell him you were disappointed not to have him home for dinner, but this is not his fault.

Work is about work. You do the best job you can do and do not expect thank you's.. even for overtime. This is business. Your husband is doing what he has to do to complete his work and the expectation of his bosses.
Have you ever watched "Mad Men"? The main character explains this very strongly to Peggy, when she whines, "you never say thank you".

At least your husband works for the state.. My husband works for the city.. it is even less pay, BUT, great benefits. He is also off on weekends and most holidays he has sick days. Yes, most weeks there is overtime, but he was told this when he applied for the job. He knew what the salary was. He knew raises were based on the city budget, reviews etc.. He accepted the position with his eyes wide open and I supported his decision and so now if he wants to keep his job and receive good reviews he does it.

If your husband has been there 6 years, he must have good vacation time. Maybe you need him to take some time off soon. I do this when I notice I need my husband or he seems to be stressed. I have to remind him because there have been many years he forgets or puts it off and loses the vacation time.

Just hang in there. You may want him to go back to work when he retires.. hee, hee.

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hey I heard the no raises in 6 years. I haven't been able to raise my rates in 6 years and that has effectively been a huge pay cut for me because everything else has gone up. I've been expected to give sibling discounts because it's offered at the majority of daycare's and I need to stay competitive. And trust me when I say my parents don't pay late fees and if I required them I'd just lose them to some cheap 20 something that just started a brand new daycare and is charging a lot less than I am. My parents come to me for my years of experience. But don't think for a minute and can squeeze another dime out of them.

We do what we gotta do.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

No raises in 6 years is better than getting laid off. Be glad he has a job at all. I know it can be annoying to have them work longer hours (my SO is in the military, I know all about uncompensated time), but that is part of the job sometimes.

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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

So, it seems like your question triggered more perceived negative responses, than positive. I will keep it light. Just sit and talk and discuss how you both can best move forward and talk about how his absence affects the quality of family life. Forget the boss saying thank you. His paycheck is the appreciation enough. Seriously it is. You sound overwhelmed and maybe missing hubby a bit much. Are there other issues? If so, address those when you talk.

I don't believe people saying be happy he has a job, etc. because family comes first and now is the time to put your joint thinking caps on and figure out how he's going to find something closer to home.

Best of luck and stay cool...it's not always easy, but try.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Havent read the other posts, but I would say, "Be thankful he has a job."

The economy is terrible, and state employees all over the country are losing their jobs, receiving pay cuts, forced furlough days, etc.

Also, be thankful he only has to work nights infrequently. My husband started his own business, and has to work long hours all the time, and doesnt make enough money to cover the cost of daycare. For the first year of my daughters life, I worked 7-4, picked two kids under the age of three up from daycare, and took care of them and put them to bed by myself because my husband was working nights. He also worked on weekend day a month. It was definitely very hard.

I say, take a deep breath, and be thankful for what you DO have.

If its really unbearable, help him find a new job, but I suspect every job has its "warts."

A.L.

answers from Naples on

It sounds to me like you are mainly upset with his work. I don't think that you are being unreasonable but I do think that, unless he's going to be making a change any time soon, it would help you to find a way to let go of the anger. I've been through some stuff in the last 3 years that has made me so angry. But at a certain point I realized if the anger wasn't helping me solve my problems then all it was doing was hurting me. Also, as you can't go in and take the anger off on his boss or the whole State of Florida ;-), you might end up taking it out on your hubby and that's no good. My DH & I have had some fights over the last few years where I finally realized I wasn't mad at him, he wasn't mad at me, we were mad at our situation. So my advice is vent when you need to but then give him a great big hug when he gets home and sneak upstairs together to check on the kiddos before y'all settle in for the night. Hang in there. :-)

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A.G.

answers from Las Cruces on

At least they pay him. My husband was working at a job that paid him $69 for more than 100hours worked over 17days. Be glad he has a job.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I may not be salaried by am a state employee at a university and have not had a raise in four years and no compensation for any overtime. In fact the university is looking for ways to cut and consolidate to stay within the new budget. There are several professional (teaching) jobs left unfilled because of the budget. There are about 40 positions on the support side that have not been filled because of the budget. What this means is that the remaining workers are filling in and taking up the slack.

I am thankful everyday for having a job. I am thankful for having a job at my age being over 60. I am also thankful that the university was able to pickup the increase in the health coverage so that we would not see a decrease in our pay.

Be thankful that he does have the job to take care of you guys. Learn to be more flexible and know that you are not the only person that feels this way. Also remember that the world does not work the way you want it and it is not fair. Just think about the military member that does not see his/her SO many days, weeks or months and still does the job. Life is too short to get your knickers twisted. This too shall pass. Have a good weekend.

The other S.

PS My husband would love to work but cannot due to health issues and had to retire but he does receive retirement which helps with the budget. I could stay home but I want to wait to get my SS in a few years if possible.

M.M.

answers from Houston on

My husband is a state employee that is salaried. He makes barely above the poverty line and he has to work overtime, weekends and travel out of town on a regular basis. We get no overtime or any other kind of compensation, (some per diem on the out of town trips). So much for thinking gov't employees are treated like gold.

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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

I think you did the right thing by trying to get support here when this was really out of your control (and his). It is a tough employment world out there and it seems people have to do everything to keep their jobs, including increasing hours with no extra pay or benefits. I don't think there's anything wrong with being ticked that work cuts into valuable family time. Good for you in trying to find a creative way to blow off steam! A lot of us feel your pain, sista!

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Who are you pissed at - your husband or his job? It's not your husband's fault, so please don't be pissed at him. Like you said, he needs to find another job...

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H.P.

answers from New York on

I didn't read any of the other responses so I apologize if I am repeating but it sounds like you are more bothered by the way he is being treated in his job than anything else. As far as not being home to say goodnight to the kids... My husband travels 2-3 days a week and is not home for the kids and we live in a England so away from our family and friends. Try to relax and tell him how you are feeling about his extra work with no compensation. Maybe he has the same frustrations.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Not the same thing, but I'm salaried and work in non-profit, so while it is much more than I used to make hourly, it also means that I have a base number of "normal" hours and day hours (9-5), but sometimes just have to work more. My husband is off Fridays and Saturdays and sometimes I have to do something in the evening or on a weekend for work. My things are usually planned, but it still doesn't make my husband happy that I'm working "extra" and on our only family day (Saturday) for no extra pay. It is just life right now. I think it is okay to get pissed on an individual level as long as we try not to make our spouses feel guilty for doing their jobs. He can't control the staying late, and he's probably upset about it, too, but you venting and then not making a big deal about it is better than you getting mad around or at him over something that is the nature of his job. I am wiped out since I worked the equivalent of a full extra day in the past work week, which included some hours on Saturday, and had a day-long meeting an hour and a half from home (my normal commute is about a half hour). Try to maximize your weekend and get some extra kid-free snuggling time in so he can also remember why he works stupid hours for less pay than he deserves. :)

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