Husband's Surgery What Do I Do?

I know exactly how you feel!! Word for word, you are me 3 months ago. My husband had to have a tumor removed from his brain. It was an 8 1/2 hour surgery. He had no fear, I was terrified, and would have so rather it had been me!! I could have handled it better if it had been me. I did have to leave the waiting room, and focus on my kids to stay sain. I came back to the hospital at around 6 hours and sat in the waiting room in fear. I could not help but think of how I would handle the kids, everything, if he did not make it, or if he suffered a sever brain injury from the procedure! For us, it turned out fine. He is weak, unbalanced, can not hear on one side, and getting kicked out of the military, but he is alive, and we are a family still. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes well.

Blessed Be.

8 moms found this helpful

Yes. Our daughter needed a simple surgery too. I was a wreck.

I was "brave" for her, put on a smile. Said I'd see her soon. Then RAN to the cafeteria before anyone saw me crying.

Maybe try to bring something to knit, sew, a crossword, ANYTHING to keep your mind occupied. Anything "mindless" that you can do just to pass the time.

Be there. Be brave for him. Call your girlfriend to come sit with you.

Best wishes.

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I think it's a normal reaction. Of course you're worried? Do you believe in a higher power? If so, then PRAY about it, through it and after it. Remember, if He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it!
Can someone go with you (mom, sister, friend, etc)? It might help to have someone to wait with.
Good luck to you and to your husband. I'll say a little prayer for him AND you today...

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Your feelings are very common. My husband went through similar 3 weeks ago when I had surgery. I had the same feelings as I was waiting in pre-op.

I think the key is to keep your mind distracted. Take a few good, long books. Puzzle books, crochet, etc. Focus on those and the time will pass quickly.

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I know it's scary. Have faith in the doctors and the medical staff who are taking care of him. Say a little prayer with him before they give him any medication. Keep things light when you are there waiting for his prep. Try not to cry in front of him.

Is the procedure at Central Dupage Hospital? They are very good. (I'm sure Delnor is too.) I had sinus surgery in one of CDH's surgery centers. All went well.

He's in good hands. Take magazines to look through (you probably won't be able to read) and walk around the waiting room if you have to.

You are both in my prayers.
D.

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I guess this must be how the husband feels when the wife is giving birth! :)

Bring some Moral Support, unless he objects, your mom, a friend, a sister, neighbor you're close to.

Your post is very sweet and loving. Be sure you tell him how you feel, too!

4 moms found this helpful

My husband had a serious surgery a couple of years ago (spinal cord surgery). We did not know what the outcome would be, but we were hopeful. Several people from our church came and sat with me, keeping me in conversation to help take my mind off of the surgery. It was amazing to me how much I was blessed by their help. Do you have a church who would have people who would sit with you? Any other type of group you are a part of? Close friends? I would just call and ask if someone could come sit with me during the surgery. It makes a world of difference. Please update us to let us know how it goes.

2 moms found this helpful

My hubby had surgery a few years back. It was not serious or life threatening in any way, but there's always risks involved. What your feeling in completely natural. Many of those same thoughts kept going thru my mind. I actually went back home during the surgery, rather than waiting arround the hospital (it's only a 5 minute drive). I needed to keep busy, so I started cleaning like a mad woman, better than pacing in the waiting room.

Is there someone who can go with you tomorrow? Or is there someone who you can call while the surgery is taking place? This may be of some comfort to you and help to pass the time.

Just know that you're not alone..... I'm sure it'll be fine.

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I was the same way when my son got his tonsils out and that's a straight forward surgery. I handled it way worse and just at and cried and cried. I just hated watching him go through it but he bounced back and it never really phased him. I think it's much harder to watch someone go through things than to be the person who is.

1 mom found this helpful

Well, for one, take the lead of your husband. He is not worried so stay off the internet. Sometimes too much information can make you crazy. Have faith that your husband and the doctors know what they are doing and all will be fine. Then if you believe in God pray that He calms your spirit so your husband won't now go into surgery worried about you. My now ex husband had a heart attack at a young age and it scared me but I believed that God was not going to take my husband. He survived and the doctors were amazed. He had 99% blockage in the "widow maker" artery and should have been dead. Now almost 5 years later he is doing great. Fear is nothing but F ake E vidence A ppearing R eal. Know that all will be well and your husband will be fine. I will be praying for you both.

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Sit in the waiting room and cry. That is what they are there for.

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