13 answers

Husband Out of Town

My husband has been out of town for the last 3 1/2 weeks. This is not normal for us at all. He is home evey night in the past. He comes home on Tuesday nights and leaves on Wed. then Home on Saturday night and leaves on Sunday. My oldest child seems fine. However, the two younger ones say "I miss daddy all the time". They seem to be doing okay, they have been fighting a little more than nomal . My youngest keeps getting in bed with me about 3 am. Does anyone have ideas to make this a little easier on them. We do not know how long this will last.

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My husband travels a lot. I think last year he was on the road 250 days out of the year. However, he has just received a promotion which keeps him home more often. We all love it (I have 3 children - 6, 4, and 13 months). I have noticed however when he does go on the road usually 2 weeks out at the most. My son and daughter (6,4) seem to act out more. It's something I guess I have gotten used to, but it still makes for a stressful time. One thing I do when the "I miss daddy" arises is I let my children talk to my husband on the phone. This seems to ease the distance and they think it's fun to get to talk on the phone.

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I have a male friend who would take a picture of the airplane he was getting on at the airport and email it to his son while on a trip. It was fun for his son to see the different airplanes. His son loved planes. Maybe your husband can do something similar with your kids. When I travel for work I bring home a snow globe from the state I was in for my son. It is a game to see how many different states we can collect them from. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I am not sure how your husband handles it now, but maybe he can take a more active role with the kids from a distance. As an example, for the kids, maybe he can do something from a distance to let them know he misses them and that he is thinking of them, like leave (or mail) them a card or postcard. You could have a post card scrapbook or something like that. He could take a picture of someplace cool on his phone and email it to the kids. Maybe have a certain time he can call them everynight or for the younger ones, read a story on tape with one of those voice activated recorders. They aren't too expensive. And when he is there, maybe make it a point have a little one on one with each kid doing whatever is important to them at the time. (Building legos, homework or reading to them) Doesn't matter really what as long as the kids are the focus. The 14 yr old, may really like breakfast with dad. Even on a school day. Often the kids will follow your lead. Try to make the focus on Dad coming home (in a positive way) and not on him being gone. 8 yr. olds, love collecting things. Maybe neat stamps from where Dad is going or some kind of animal figurine that they like. Building collections over time would give a positive spin to Dad being gone if Dad could look for something to add to the collection. Also, for you, do something good for yourself when he's gone. Have a spa day or get a pedicure, girls night out for Dinner and a movie, etc. For the kids, have breakfast for dinner. Kids love that. Or a picnic for dinner on the living room floor. You could make mini individual pizzas, Each choose their own topping. Maybe let the kids help with cooking. Get some age appropriate recipes and pick one night a week and let them choose and help you cook. The point being, even if Dad is gone, you are still a family and can have some fun. And when Dad comes back, have some more fun. It not so much fun for him to be gone either. No hugs or smiles at the end of the day. If the kids have a positive focus and responsibility, the time goes by much better. These are just some things I have tries as former military wife. He was gone a lot and we really had to get creative to stay positive. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

My husband also travels quite a bit. In fact, he's usually only home 2-4 days a month. Our kids are 11,11,9,6,3, and 1.

What we have found helps is to use a speakerphone not only for the kids to talk to Dad, but to let them hear Phil and I talking. It lets them feel safe and not worry about "Daddy leaving" in some permanent way. Alternately you can try videophone via internet. Of course, you would want to save serious "discussions" for private conversations, but hearing/seeing you catch up can do a lot for them. I think of "olden days" when moms would read letters that their husband had written when he was away.

When he does get home, a quick stop for some flowers to give you "just because" also takes some worry about the Mom/Dad relationship out of the picture. It just lets them know that nothing is "wrong".

Make sure you get some alone time with your husband when he gets home, even if it's only an hour after the kids go to bed. If more time allows, he can get alone time with each of the kids, even if it's only helping run errands.

Hope it helps.

My husband works out of town as well. He rarely gets to come in, we just go see him every two weeks or so. But one thing we do, if you and your husband have a computer, we bought a webcam. This way, my daughter (she's 2) gets to see her daddy every night and it's easier for me, too. And I tell her everyday that her daddy misses her, and we will see him soon. I hope this helps. I know first hand of how hard this is!

Being a military spouse my husband is gone all the time. In 2003 when they deployed for a year it was hardest on my 7 year old and the 9 year old seemed to understand better. I had to tell her that he has to be there, he did not decide just to be away from him. I helped her write letters and she help pack care packages for him and she talked to him on the phone. So my advice it to try to get them involved in thing i.e. helping make dinner for him when he returns, make him a card, let them talk to him on the phone or email message. Make sure they know that he is working and not just gone because he does not want to be around. It is sad to say but they will get better as he is gone more.

H.

My husband travels alot too. What helps us is a "daddy box". Have a box for each child that they can place things in it that they would like to share with daddy if he was there. It could be drawings from school, new toys, etc. Then when your husband comes home he can sit down with each child and they can talk about their box.

Hope this helps.

My husband travels a lot. I think last year he was on the road 250 days out of the year. However, he has just received a promotion which keeps him home more often. We all love it (I have 3 children - 6, 4, and 13 months). I have noticed however when he does go on the road usually 2 weeks out at the most. My son and daughter (6,4) seem to act out more. It's something I guess I have gotten used to, but it still makes for a stressful time. One thing I do when the "I miss daddy" arises is I let my children talk to my husband on the phone. This seems to ease the distance and they think it's fun to get to talk on the phone.

I have two ideas is Dad call once a day to talk with them, or at least sending a e-mail. Two is something use like a chart to help them count down the days until Dad will be home.

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