Husband Must Be in a "Timeout"

My recommendation would be to decide when you would like to stop the feeding and just do it. Be firm & stick to it b/c you are the mom. If you give in on things like this, they learn that they are in control and they run things instead of you. Usually they adjust much quicker than you expect but they take their cues from you. If you are wishy washy about it, he will pick up on it, and it will be harder. Each small little battle now that he wins (even if you don't think it is really a battle) gives him more power and he may become a more difficult toddler. Come up with a new routine to take his mind off it, talk to him about it if it comes up. But if he is starting to wean himself anyway, it might just happen without any problems!

Congratulations on breastfeeding him this long! You have given him the most wonderful start in life, and it sounds like you are a wonderful mom too!

I am a Naturopath & mom of 3 kids (9,6,3)all breastfed.

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Sounds like he is weaning himself. Good job Mom!! Le Leche League says don't offer/don't refuse/baby-lead weaning. Sounds like you two already have the ball rolling. No worries!

Kudos for breastfeeding your son that long. My first born son weaned at just about the same time, but my little 8 month old is already becoming more interested in the world around him - so much so that he's loosing interest in nursing. Uugh! It's too soon!

At any rate, nursing is, in my opinion, one of the most natural things. Therefore, the weaning should be natural, too. And much like potty training, it's best done when gradual and child-led. Try letting your son dictate what happens. If he's feeling rather independent and is disinterested in nursing, just put him in his crib and stay nearby until he nods off. If he's feeling insecure and cuddly, let him nurse. Eventually he'll learn to put himself to sleep without nursing. If not, try to alter your routine a little. Replace nursing with a nice sippy cup of warm milk and honey or hot cocoa and let him sit in your lap while you quietly read him a nite-nite book.

The best part of all of this - the more choices you let him make by himself, the less tempermental he'll tend to be!

Best of luck and enjoy it while it lasts!
L.

Hello! I finally weaned my daughter after 2 years. All the advice from LeLeche and books were I am sorry to say a joke for us. What I did was for about one week talk to my daugher telling her soon she will be done with nursing, that she is a big girl now and won't need it anynore. So I prepared her for it in advance. When I was ready I dabbed a little bit of lime juice on my nipples and when she came to nurse she pulled away \and had a little scrunched up face and I said Oh you must be a big girl now, nursing doesn't taste as good to you anymore. She tried again, and we both went 'yucky' and she went on her merry way. She got hurt came to nurse, same thing and then we just cuddled. This went on a couple more times and that was it. No tears, no tantrums. It was truly amazing. I missed it for a bit after awhile, but we found other ways to bound and my daughter just turned 7 yesterday and she is my angel!

Dear Amy,
What a great job you are doing with baby/toddler led weaning. Plus you are wise to take advantage of the fact that he is naturally giving up feedings and you are encouraging him to do so. I too, nursed my kids into the toddler years and when they "happened" to fall asleep without it, I took that as my "beginning" of weaning and we didn't do it anymore - there were no tears just as in your example. I think that when us moms want to gently encourage our little ones out of an old pattern, we have to provide a "new routine". And because he is old enough to understand words you can talk to him - you could even make a "storyboook" about the new routine with him in it! It's a bit harder I think with the "going to sleep" nursings because nursing is such an awesome way to fall asleep - but I understand your desire to capitalize on what your son is already showing you. Keep up the great instinctive mothering!! M.

If he turns in to you to nurse, place a pillow or blanket there. Babies/toddlers can smell mom. Put something there, talk him through it till he's sleepy. This only takes a couple of days. If you wish to, you can use a bottle or sipee cup at this time. The first time or two may be a tantrum or whining.. but it really does only take a couple days. Just make the decision that it's time to be done if that's what you want. Good luck!

Hi Amy, I have a 2 y.o. who still nurses also and we are down to 2-3 feedings/day, too. My son is very attached to me, too, but doesn't show any signs of letting go of the naptime feeding so I am a little envious! Anyway, I'm not sure if this will help, but it's worth a try. Start out singing lullabies and rocking or walking the room. Once he settles you can switch to just humming. Any old song will do if you slow it down enough! The objective is only to get him to a drowsy state, not necessarily asleep. It would be good for him to disassociate the breast with sleeping if you want to get him weaned within the next 7 months. Once you get into a new routine it may not take as long to get him down for the nap. Let me know if it works! Good Luck!

For me, when my daughter was 13 months and I decided that it was time to stop breastfeeding, we went on a mini vacation to Sea World. We kept her busy and she really never asked to nurse on the 4 days we were away. By the time we were back home and back to the normal routine, my milk was gone and she was able to adjust to life without just fine. So, either I was very lucky or we were just both ready to stop breastfeeding.
C.

You're going to have to replace the bfing time with something else that offers the same sort of nurturing that bfing offers. Make sure he has a snack before his nap so he isn't hungry... and then offer a toy, or a book, some cuddle with mommy time etc...

I nursed my 2nd until 26months You're doing a great Job

He is naturally weaning which is the best and most gentle way to do it. Once he turns 2 I would stop offering and only let him nurse when he asks to.

Children adjust much quicker than you realize. He may get angry for a day or two, but then it will be normal. You have to be careful about how you feel inside when you go to do something. IF you feel nervous or tense he will respond in that way. You can smile on the outside, but if you are tense inside he will know. Try to stay relaxed when you change something. If he wants to throw a tantrum then don't give him any attention for it. As soon as you ignore a tantrum children stop and try something else. My older son became very attached to a stuffed animal that I used to put him to sleep. Instead of nursing try a book and have him cuddle a stuffed animal to see if that helps.

Hi! I had breastfed both of my two children until the age of two. Neither child had ANY intention of weaning themselves. I had read many books on weaning and none of their solutions fit my routine.

After each of their second birthdays, we went cold-turkey!! My husband stepped up and started a new routine with each of them. With my son, every time before bed, he would pick two or three books to read to him. With my daughter, he just cuddled and watched a video with her. Neither child was happy with this idea, but within two days, both of them had absolutely FORGOTTEN about nursing.

I went through a week of sore breasts, but we all came out better and more independent people after the weeks end. I think two years of nursing is a wonderful amount of time to bond with your infant/toddler and yet short enough to let them blossom on their own.

Good luck to you!!

My son was younger when I weaned him, but I followed the "don't offer, don't refuse" guideline. Instead of sitting with him in the chair where I normally nursed him, I'd sit with him in another area and read books with him and sing to him. In this way, you are substituting a new and different way of nurturing him for the nurturing of nursing.

Hello Amy! I can understand wanting to be done nursing your toddler so let me say Congratulations on having the guts, patience and love to have continued this long. I nursed my now 3 year old until he was 32/33 months. I thought i was don at 27 months, found out I was wrong if I did not want to listen to him scream and cry for hours, so I took his cue and did not loose sight of mine. Talk to your son about being a big boy,that big boy's drink out of cups, replace the nursing with another activity, drop the nursing from twice a day to once a day, probably the nap first,night time is the hardest to let go and realize he may need a little longer than you do. Elizabeth Pantley's Book: The No Cry Sleep Solution is great, one of her methods that I used was the milk went to sleep, so he would quit nursing thru the night and with that he gradually quit on his own. I started offering a cup with breastmilk or water in it at nursing time. And for now enjpy this special( and time consuming) time of life with your child, nothing is as special and nobody but you could ever have done it for them. Somedays I look back at my busy preschooler and wish for that quiet cuddly time back.

Hi, I also breastfed my two children, my daughter for 14 months, my son for 16 months. I suggest that you change your ritual into reading a story before naptime and bedtime or singing a song together. If you change the activity you do before sleeping, as long as it's something calming, he will probably forget about nursing entirely. Don't remind him about nursing and you'll see he's ready to give it up, too.