21 answers

Husband Hunting All the Time!

Okay ladies, to those of you who have husbands that hunt, how do you handle it? Don't get me wrong, I am for him doing something that he enjoys but he gets obsessive about it. If anything interferes with his plans he throws a fit. And starts complaining that he never gets to go. Uh, he goes almost every weekend since bow season started at the beginning of October and plans to all the way to the end. Doesn't realize what kind of pressure it puts on me. We have a seven year old dtr and a 14 month old son. I am at home with them every day. I work fulltime during the week on the computer but I am here with them constantly. I can't come and go like he does so easily. I don't mind him hunting but every weekend and sometimes in the evenings? What if the shoe was on the other foot? I've tried to talk to him about it but we always end up in fights over it. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband with all that I have. He is a good man, provides for us and is very attentive. It's just that as soon as hunting season begins, it's like a switch is turned on and he becomes a one track minded individual. Nothing interferes with his hunting. For example, I've been telling him for the past year about the neighborhood garage sale that they are having here this coming weekend. i've been putting things aside for it. I've told him that I would need his help since it would be extremely difficult to have it while taking care of the kids at the same time. Well here it is the week of, and he is totally refusing to take some time out of his hunting schedule to help me with it. I'm asking for one Saturday and probably just half of the day!!! He keeps saying we'll get everything together prior to Saturday and get it set up Friday night. So he can still go. He doesn't get it! How am I going to have the sale and care for the kids too??? He keeps getting on to me about needing to get rid of some stuff and so that's what I'm trying to do and make a bit of extra money but he isn't willing to help when needed b/c it will interfere with his hunting??? Come on!

In order to try to give myself some peace, I've decided to try to get out of the house one night during the week even if it's just to go to the store and wander the aisles just so I can get out away from the kids and be by myself. I do plan to go off for a weekend once hunting season is over to meet up with a girlfriend of mine. Now during the week when he's home he does help with the kids. He'll pretty much care for them so I can go to bed early to read or whatever so that's nice.

My problem is that it's gets rather old and hard on me for him to be gone every weekend. I can't say anything about it because he turns it around and gets completely unreasonable. I guess this is more of a vent but I was wondering if any of you were experiencing anything like this and if so, what ya'll do to stay sane. Hunting season has turned my usually wonderful loving husband into an obsessive one tracked mind idiot - LOL. (by the way this is not here to start a debate on whether you are for hunting or not)

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I just wanted to come in and say wow, thanks for all the responses. It has helped me put some things into perspective. I realize that I am very lucky to have him overall. It could be soo much worse. It just gets hard sometimes. He has taken our daughter with him but he hunts on public land so all they did was walk in the woods and gather some of his stuff and put corn out. It was more or less of an introduction to it for her. However it'll be awhile before she is able to go on an actual hunt. It too would make it easier if we had some meat already from it. He still hasn't gotten one yet....all this time, and nothing to show for it....ha! I too was hoping he would get his quota early on but no such luck! Again, thanks for all the input! :)

Featured Answers

I would schedule a girl's weekend for 3 or 4 weekends in a row right after hunting season. See what happens when the shoe is on the other foot. Don't cancel and move mountains to go.

4 moms found this helpful

Why don't you and the kids go with him for a weekend?? See what it is really about - it's not like he's hunting at night you could still have time at dinner and in the evenings w/ him.

Maybe he might like that you're taking an interest in his hobby OR maybe he might not like it and will agree to cut back on his weekends in order to have them exclusively to himself!! A bit passive aggressive but I think it would work!!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I would schedule a girl's weekend for 3 or 4 weekends in a row right after hunting season. See what happens when the shoe is on the other foot. Don't cancel and move mountains to go.

4 moms found this helpful

I don't understand men who can't find a balance with their hobbies. My father was and is an avid hunter, but he never went at it like a maniac -abandoning his family all weekend every weekend during hunting season. I know far too many men who do this. He needs to understand that all of our hobbies have to take a backseat when we marry and have children. That means he gets to go hunting one day a weekend. If, for some reason, there are some weekends he needs to be gone the entire weekend, then he certainly doesn't go in the evenings during the week. He can do what my dad did -look forward to his kids growing up and leaving home and he can hunt around the clock. My dad still didn't do that -although now he does since my mom died. I guarantee you he had rather have her back than unfettered access to hunting though!

You have to sit down and discuss this with him and tell him it just doesn't work for him to be gone this much. He's a grown up -he can deal. If he truly can't understand -spell it out for him. Remind him it's the equivalent of you going out a few evenings per week PLUS EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND over a period of time that equals your areas hunting season. Get a calendar down and show him. See how he feels about that possibility -being with the kids around the clock while you were off doing a hobby. If he still refuses to stop, make him see a counselor with you, because he's being completely unreasonable.

3 moms found this helpful

My husband plays softball, and it ends up being year round. They don't stop until October and start INDOOR tournaments in January. Dumb. I finally got to the point that I said he was missing out on things with the kids, not me. The kids and I do what we want when we want. It gets hard sometimes, but they are getting older (7, 5, 3) and it is so easy now for us to go to the Zoo or the Aquarium or museums etc. I dont NEED him around to do things. And I tihnk that has helped change him some. I dont know how to tell you to fix it because there is no fixing. Just be glad that you dont have my MIL telling him that he is totally within his rights to do what he wants when he wants. IMO, that ends when you get married and have kids.

3 moms found this helpful

My BF fishes all the time... too bad we don't live closer, we could get the kids together and hang out as 'hunting/fishing widows' ;) Nothing to say except keep your chin up! You're not alone, and no, it's not fair.

3 moms found this helpful

I MISS being a hunting widow. (My hubby doesn't hunt). I used to SO look forward to those "girls weeks" & "girls weekends". We all get together at one person's house, the kids would be playing, & we'd
- marathon girly movies... from Gilmore Girls to badass Lara Croft
- do "spa" days (lol ... often including the little ones who wanted "green monster faces" or be teaching the pubescent girls about shaving/waxing/bleaching/etc.)
- Eat brownies and wear elastic pants
- Bleach our mustaches
- Giant potluck in jammies brunches
- Midnight Margaritas

Hunting season was just such a BLESSING. It was our girly time, our precious "I am god" time with the kids (wait... NO ONE contradicting what I say? How cool is that?), our time to bond with the kids and each other, our time to have serious conversations with teens, our time to catch up on TV and Movies that had been missed out on all year, our time, our time, our time, our time. And it was flippin' sacred.

As a certified tom boy I'd also periodically go out for a weekend myself, which is a different kind of sacred... but it's a hard choice. Which way to have fun and bond? Which way?

3 moms found this helpful

Could you tell how much you miss spending time together as a family and ask if you can set aside a certain day or weekend to spend time together? Maybe the second weekend of each month? If you set aside one weekend of the month, be sure you plans something FUN that will get him out of the house and hopefully his mind off of the fact he is miss out on hunting. You wouldn't even have to set aside the whole weekend. Maybe just Saturday or Sunday of that weekend so he wasn't missing the whole weekend for hunting. He might be more willing to take one day out of the weekend instead of the whole weekend. My husband gets very obsessive too and sounds like your husband. :-( He is wonderful but it gets us into some pretty big fights at times. Especially because I also have two children and never get a break from taking care of them.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband is the same way. Fortunatly, last year he got his limit in two days!!! Yea! Meat in the freezer and no OHD (obsesive hunting disorder).
This year he has a new job and a icky schedule and hasn't even mentioned hunting.
Of course those of you that are familiar with my recent vent about him know what he's going through :)

2 moms found this helpful

Why don't you and the kids go with him for a weekend?? See what it is really about - it's not like he's hunting at night you could still have time at dinner and in the evenings w/ him.

Maybe he might like that you're taking an interest in his hobby OR maybe he might not like it and will agree to cut back on his weekends in order to have them exclusively to himself!! A bit passive aggressive but I think it would work!!

2 moms found this helpful

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