29 answers

Husband Going Out Late and You're Staying Home.

I am expecting my first child and I am trying to adjust to a family life style. Normally, I don't mind my husband going out but since the pregnancy, it bothers me. How do you deal with this?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I talked about it to him and he was very understanding. I was concerned that he would feel restricted but my husband made a very cute analogy. He said going out late was like recess. In elementary school, you cannot phathom life without out it. Then, when you get older, you find other joys that replaced it.

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I would just sit him down and have a heart to heart. Always, be honest. Tell him the truth about how you really feel. Maybe he is willing to compromise with you. After he sees how you honestly feel, he should have no problem trying to adjust to family life. Congratulations on the baby!! I have two and they are wonderful.

Time to start the husband training. It's not pretty and takes forever. But I agree, nip this one in the bud right now. Try to keep the conversation unemotional and full of facts he can easily digest. Setting boundaries is very important in a relationship that is going through major transitions, and a new pregnancy and baby is a huge adjustment for all. Everyone has to change, not just Mom.

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What is your husband doing? Hanging out with friends & drinking? Personally, I'm not a believer in husbands going out in any time in the marriage.....not to say, my husband goes and plays golf, runs with his running buddies, etc. But at night, we're married, we stay together. Why can't your husband do something that involves you, too? Why can't you come along? If you're physically not able to because of your pregnancy then he needs to stay at home. There is a reason that God gave us 9 months for our babies to grow inside our bodies. That gives us 9 months to prepare mentally and emotionally for that baby to become a part of our lives. Lovingly, remind your husband of the coming of the baby and that everything will truly change when he/she is born. You won't have much alone time after the birth, tell your husband you would like to cherish that time together now instead of being separated. Be loving when you discuss but be firm. Don't back off. congrats on your new baby.

1 mom found this helpful

During my first pregnancy,my husband never left my side except to go to work, and when he wanted to go out at night, I went with him. Its not healthy, relationship wise, to be pregnant and watch your husband walk out the door doing things you wish you can do. I mean, of course you cant do all the things he can like drinking, but when my husband went to the bar, I still went with and guess what, I was craving lemons, so I still had fun and laughs with him and his buddies while eating lemons and potatoe chips!!! If he doesnt understand you going out with him, or if you dont feel like tagging along but want him to stay, just sit him down and say "look, we both did the deed, and now I have to nurture myself and baby for 9 months.I would really like your support, cant we do something at home together at nights since we're about to have even less time for each other?" good luck and god bless your pregnancy! -tabby

I would just sit him down and have a heart to heart. Always, be honest. Tell him the truth about how you really feel. Maybe he is willing to compromise with you. After he sees how you honestly feel, he should have no problem trying to adjust to family life. Congratulations on the baby!! I have two and they are wonderful.

Gussy up and go out too and make sure you stay out longer, have more fun, and spend more money. Then talk it all over with interesting options that would reward staying home and working together.
Sorry if this is oversimplified, just keep your goal in mind.
C. S.

Gently explain that your situation has changed since you are expecting, and you would like him to spend more time at home. Pick a time when you aren't busy or stressed, and neither is he.

Are finances a problem? A new baby costs way more than you think they do. It would be wise to save money for the baby.

I think pregnancy can be a difficult stage of adjustment, since it's CLEAR to you, every minute, that you have a baby, but it's not, quite honestly, having much of an effect on your husband yet (HE doesn't have to waddle and pee 9 times a night!). IMO, putting your foot down and saying "NO MORE GOING OUT" is likely just to make things worse. Our DD is 10 mo old now, and my DH and I both still go out sometimes, but it's maybe now like once a month each, and we take turns (one will stay home while the other goes out with the girls/guys). I do think it's VERY important for each of you to have some "time off," both now and once the baby is born, but it's also important that this is shared equally and in an amount that you're both comfortable with. Talk to your DH about how you feel. It's totally normal to feel more dependent when you're pregnant--tell him this, and try to come up with a solution that sounds fair to both of you (like agree on the frequency with which he goes out, or what time he'll be back by, etc.) good luck!

Hey K.,
You must nip this in the butt now...You need to sit down with him and tell him this is your time together before the baby comes to bond & hang out..

Why don't you go out with him some? You need to make some sacrifices for you both as well...

Here to lend a hand after 2 kids (trust me I know)..

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I'm expecting our 3rd now, and there is absolutely NO WAY I would put up with my husband going out all the time with his friends while I sat at home! You need to speak to your husband and let him know that it bothers you, that you're about to bring a child into the family, and that you'd like to begin getting on the "family" course. My husband plays the occasional game of golf with his buddies, or plays the occasional game of poker witht the guys, and likewise I go out with other moms for dinner and a movie occasionally (afterall we ALL need some "away" time!). However, there is absolutely no way I'd agree to his going out to a bar or anything of that nature without me-- all of that ended when we became involved in a serious relationship, at that point, if we were going out to any type of bar or anything of that nature, we only do it together.
Just talk to your husband, let him know your concerns, and let him know why you feel the way you feel. Hopefully he'll understand, and wouldn't want you sitting at home worried and upset while he's out having a good time with the guys (esp. when he could be at home having a great time with you!)

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