26 answers

Husband Giant Baby When Sick

My husband has a regular cold and is acting like he is going to die. . . he came home last night and literally fell asleep on the couch while I took care of the two kids. I was fine with doing the caretaking, but, he is so mopey I know he wants all kinds of attention (extra loud coughs, groaning, moaning, etc.). It is hard for me to feel sympathetic when I still have to carry on with my normal duties when I have a cold. . . . He went to work this morning wiht many more groans and when I suggested he stay home he said "I'm not thtat sick." What to do?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

He took NyQuil this morning BEFORE heading off to work (???). . . at this point, my plan is to leave him alone for awhile, but I have NO interest in babying him. I just wanted to make sure I was not totally heartless in doing that! A few more load groans and I was going to tell him to "suck it up!" but I didn't want to start a fight. I know he wants me to do some mothering for him but I just cannot bring myself.

Featured Answers

MEN! They are the biggest babies when sick!

Best thing IMO is to let it go. Let him have his "moment" of attention. Then when you get sick, start acting the same way and when he inevitably tell you that you're being ridiculous, call him out on it. I did this last fall when my husband had strep, then my son, then me. I did everything for the kids and him for 5 days while he lounged around and groaned, and even stated, (I swear this is a direct quote) "I don't think I'm gonna make it through this. I might die." Can you believe this? ha!

So, I did the same when the strep hit me, and he was so quick to tell me to get over it. I told him in my strongest strep throat voice as possible that paybacks were hell. :) Do I think he'll stop acting this way? No, but at least he knows now what a big crybaby he is. :) Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

I've got to say, I agree with Jessica V. Is my husband a huge baby when he's sick? You betcha! Do I still essentially take care of him? Yup. Here's why: I want to make the people I love feel good, it's just who I am. Now, if he is just a little tired from regular every-day stress, well, we still have to make dinner & do homework with the kids, and get them to dance/baseball/chorus/cheerleading/band (etc. etc. etc.) and there's no reason why he can't still pitch in at least a little bit. Now when he's sick, I'll cut him some slack. This might be easier for me since for so many years he worked rotating shifts & was almost never home to help with stuff, but now he works straight days M-F which is a huge help to me generally speaking. In any case, I don't mind telling him to go lay down upstairs & bringing him a glass of water & some ibuprophen, but the fact that he's done the same for me in the past makes an enormous difference!!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm LOLing at all the responses! I love the Man Cold skit, I always share that with my friends when their man is sick.

My hubby is a martial artist and can take his hits on the mat, but when he gets a cold he actually thinks he's dying. I go ahead and baby him like his mama did. It's a great thing to remind him of when I"m sick and he looks at the big pile of dishes at the sink!

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I've got one of those upstairs in bed right now. Check out The Man Cold on YouTube--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

you will pee your pants! LOL Cheers!

9 moms found this helpful

It's the man flu. Buy him a can of soup, and get out of the house.

5 moms found this helpful

I know exactly what you're talking about. My mom and I were just talking about this the other day. This may not be what you want to hear but there have been studies done that illness is actually harder on men than women. When you are sick you feel week and tired. Women experience this monthly (menstruation). We are used to pushing through and having no choice but to get over it. Our husbands like to be pampered when they are ill just like we (I) expect my husband to give me a break when I have mood swings. It's give and take, we all need a little sympathy once in a while. It can be especially hard when you have children too. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I don't get much help period with the house and sometimes I want to come out of my skin. Men are our children too, I guess. I'm going back to work (I work from home now) and I told my husband if he doesn't help me then we'll just eat out every night. Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

Hi, A.:
Remember when he actualy dies, your life will be forever changed.
You won't be able to bring back to life these times when you wished you would have been more loving.
Kiss him and nurture him.
When you are sick, mimic him.
Good luck.
D.

2 moms found this helpful

Not to be mean but tell him to "suck it up" Many men find all kinds of excuses to slack.....I'll bet when you get sick you don't get the support do you? When my DH is sick I'll give him a break and attend to his needs and pick up the load of caring for our three kids. We both work fulltime...If I get sick and am bedridden guess what I better get a break too :)

2 moms found this helpful

Men are babies. Period. I think you'll just have to live with it. And if you baby him, he'll just feel super loved and it will improve your relationship. Listen to his whining and say you're so sorry he's sick. Don't keep score and think that things should be even to be fair. Fairness means that everyone gets what they need, not that they're treated the same.

If you had my husband instead of yours for a day, believe me, you would cater to your husband's every stuffed-up whim. Appreciate how wonderful he is when he's not sick. Colds don't last very long, and then it won't be an issue anymore!

2 moms found this helpful

MEN! They are the biggest babies when sick!

Best thing IMO is to let it go. Let him have his "moment" of attention. Then when you get sick, start acting the same way and when he inevitably tell you that you're being ridiculous, call him out on it. I did this last fall when my husband had strep, then my son, then me. I did everything for the kids and him for 5 days while he lounged around and groaned, and even stated, (I swear this is a direct quote) "I don't think I'm gonna make it through this. I might die." Can you believe this? ha!

So, I did the same when the strep hit me, and he was so quick to tell me to get over it. I told him in my strongest strep throat voice as possible that paybacks were hell. :) Do I think he'll stop acting this way? No, but at least he knows now what a big crybaby he is. :) Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

hahahahha, my husband is this way too. Its why we have the babies!

2 moms found this helpful

Okay...I love all the funny responses! I've been married for 20 years...and yes my hubby big time baby too when he is sick. However, about 10 years ago he did talk with me about my "detachment" when he was sick. It made me stop and think...was I detached when he was sick? After searching my heart I realized I was. When he got sick I would be angry that he wanted attention on top of everything else I was doing. But my kids aren't exactly the most grateful helpful children but when they are sick it is can I get you anything? do you need a blanket? what can momma do for you?. My point being if I can treat my kids this way when they don't feel good, why not my husband? Do I roll my eyes when I get stuff..you betcha! But a little kindness goes a long way in our marriage. good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

Yep they are babies.
He just wants attention... like how you give to the kids.

2 moms found this helpful

Haha! Didn't read the responses, and not laughing at you...just at the fact that so many guys are BABIES when it comes to getting sick. I have a big strong Army man who crumples at the first sniffle...and has to COUGH and clear his throat LOUDLY into the phone when he tells you he's sick. I worked in medicine and saw VERY sick people every day when I was working and he wondered why I couldn't more sympathetic toward his woes...
Now, I get a call from him (he's deployed) and he tells me he is so sick and has to go crash on his rack for the rest of the day due to his headache...I should have bitten my tongue, but retorted, "Damn...I'd give my left arm to go hit the "rack" for the rest of the day due to a headache..." I'd just gotten over a stomach flu and the kids were both sick with the regular flu and I was alone...so sorry for the lack of compassion about your "owie" Hon!

1 mom found this helpful

I've got to say, I agree with Jessica V. Is my husband a huge baby when he's sick? You betcha! Do I still essentially take care of him? Yup. Here's why: I want to make the people I love feel good, it's just who I am. Now, if he is just a little tired from regular every-day stress, well, we still have to make dinner & do homework with the kids, and get them to dance/baseball/chorus/cheerleading/band (etc. etc. etc.) and there's no reason why he can't still pitch in at least a little bit. Now when he's sick, I'll cut him some slack. This might be easier for me since for so many years he worked rotating shifts & was almost never home to help with stuff, but now he works straight days M-F which is a huge help to me generally speaking. In any case, I don't mind telling him to go lay down upstairs & bringing him a glass of water & some ibuprophen, but the fact that he's done the same for me in the past makes an enormous difference!!

1 mom found this helpful

Mine is like that too -- I reminded him that I worked (LONG HOURS) while I had influenza and was PREGNANT (I have an office and closed my door) because I HAD TO....and I did not get special help from him and had to carry on my daily duties. He whined I was not being understanding for a while but after that, he apologized for not doing more for me before.

In general, I baby him because it is easier -- and I keep him away from the kids/quarantine him when he is sick because he is less careful about not spreading his germs than I am.

This time (during the midwest blizzard)-- I made it through a bout of strep, the flu, and 2 colds in my house in the same week and **drum roll** didn't get sick :) (and I am prego with #3) -- now that is an accomplishment!

If you are too hard on him, he will get offended...I suggest just letting him do what he needs till he is well but reminding him that he owes you the same courtesy the next time you are sick :)

1 mom found this helpful

Tell him to grow up, get some sleep, eat well and go on with his day - - the same advice you'd give yourself!

1 mom found this helpful

Its in their genes. UGH! Do yourself a favor and dose him up with Nyquil. If he is sleeping you dont have to listen to it. Hopefully you and the kiddos dont get it. There are some nasty viruses going around.

1 mom found this helpful

When I was married my husband would bump his toe on the corner of the wall and automatically fell to the floor. He was such a wimp and the more sympathetic I got the more he carried on. I could look at his face and tell he was faking to such a great extent and I work on a special needs school bus and those little kids face real hardships so it is easy to be sympathetic to them. I don't know what an answer is for you!!

lol they ALL are!!! Just give him the TLC

Men are all babies when they get sick. He wants your attention and care.
I guess I don't understand why you would not want to take care of him? It will only make him feel loved, cared for and improve your relationship. it will show him you understand how he feels adn you want to care for him and maybe next time you are sick he will be a little more helpful and caring for you.
Do unto others.....

I'm LOLing at all the responses! I love the Man Cold skit, I always share that with my friends when their man is sick.

My hubby is a martial artist and can take his hits on the mat, but when he gets a cold he actually thinks he's dying. I go ahead and baby him like his mama did. It's a great thing to remind him of when I"m sick and he looks at the big pile of dishes at the sink!

I usually convince him to get into bed. I set up everything he will need... then knock him out with some nyquil or benedryl...then shut the door ;) Every once in a while i will check on him. He will let me know that he is "dying"...lol! I think it is so funny that they get like this.

Your headline made me chuckle and think "What man isn't a baby when they're sick??!" ;D

Oh girl...he has MAN COLD...man colds are by definition just on the verge of needing 9-1 already in the phone so all you have to press is the last 1.

They are a million times worse than any mere cold us ladies get. We just don't understand how severe they are...

I am teasing...men really don't know how to handle being sick very well at all. Although I do have to say I have seen my husband go to work a lot sicker than I could have done myself.

Tell him "there, there sweet bunny" and make him some soup and realize he will be better in a few days. Oh and find him the right cold medication so he doesn't Nyquil himself before work again.

A big hug to you for putting up with him.

My husband is too. Its sooo annoying!!

I hate to tell you this, but this isn't that uncommon.
Men can be the biggest babies of all.
I was so fricking sick I couldn't go to work. My ex couldn't help me because he didn't want to catch it. Then he did and was too sick to have our kid on his time because he could barely take care of himself.
Me sick with a sick kid....no problem.
My friend's husband is 6'5" and burly as all hell, but if he gets a runny nose, he is incapacitated. The whining. The fussing. Being too weak to make himself something to eat. She can be vomitting with the flu and he won't think to get her some ginger ale at the store or bring her some crackers.
All I can say is that you are not alone.
The weird thing is that I have even seen my friend get into a "sick off" dynamic with her husband. Jockeying for which one is sicker.
He has a chest cold, she gets a back spasm. He has a stomach flu, she's pretty sure an ovary will explode.
It is hard to feel sympathetic, but for some reason, many men revert to mommy mode when they don't feel well.

Hang in there! That's all I can say!

Didnt you get the memo when you got married?
The 'Man' cold is way worse than the colds we women get LOL
My husband does the same but he at least admits that he is being a little baby. He is lucky that I actually enjoy taking care of him and it makes me feel good to know that I am helping to make him feel better.
Men, I tell ya... Good Luck with your man baby

My husband is similar. He was sick about a week ago and night one he came home much like your husband. I told him that night that if all he's going to do is fall asleep, I would prefer if he just went in our room and slept there. The next night he did the same thing. After a couple of minutes when it became obvious he wasn't going to do anything with me or the kids I shook his shoulder and told him to go up to bed. The next night he was fine. I think it was the combination of exhaustion and missing the kids, but it did get my point across.

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