99 answers

Husband Faints During Delivery - What Do I Do?!

I am expecting, and my hubby is not going to make it through delivery! He faints at the slightest sight of blood, and the thought of hospitals makes him sick. What do I do?! I do not have a father in the picture, and my mom is definitely not strong enough to be the rock I need during delivery. Do I hire a doula, pick a friend, WHAT?! Please help, I am really stressing about this!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

It is my hubby's take on it. He faints when he cuts his finger, when he visits the dentist, and gets queezy just watching a baby story. He knows (at least thinks he knows) he won't be able to make it, and I am in agreement, so I have to have a plan for someone to be there with me. He won't be able to sit up by my face because just knowing what is going on "down there" will make him faint. He has lived with this issue his entire life, so he is pretty sure he knows the end result will be him laying on the floor!

Featured Answers

LOVED my doula. hire one now so you can benefit from all of the pregnancy advantages they afford you too.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband has the exact same issue. I hired a doula, and it was great, not just to distract my husband, but she was an expert who could advocate and help me when I was in a very scary and vulnerable place! If I'd had a girl, I would have named her after my doula!!

1 mom found this helpful

My hubby didn't want to be anywhere near the delivery room but stayed anyway. Now he thinks I'm a viking woman but he also tells everyone he cut the cord with his teeth!!! AAAAGGGHHHRRRAAAA! MEN!

More Answers

Tanya A,
I think you are way out of line with your comments.
First of all, not every man, just because he is a man, is wired with the "survivor instinct" to naturally know what to do when there is a crisis, terrorist attack, or birth of a baby.
Second, as some of the other ladies have posted, this could be a serious condition that he has... so who are you to be calling him a wimp and telling him to "grow up?" It sounds like you are the one that needs to grow up and learn about compassion for others.

S.,
I would recommend that he follow up with a specialist to rule out any serious conditions. Nevermind the rude comments toward your husband from others. Do what you need to do to make your day of delivery what you want it to be... if you have a friend or other close relative that you would want by your side, ask them to be a part of the miracle of life! Good luck to you!!!

2 moms found this helpful

As a Doula myself (and completely biased, I admit) I would suggest looking for a Doula in your area. Many Doulas advertise on Craigslist and other maternity websites. You can also do a websearch for the term doula in your area (or the city closest to you if you're not in a big city).

If finances are an issues, i know -many- Doulas that offer a sliding scale fee system or payment plans (usually a deposit and payments spread out to be finalized before delivery).

Any good Doula will be more than capable of helping you through whatever type of delivery you plan on having and are flexible enough to change their procedures based on changing circumstances during the delivery itself. Also, unlike the medical staff of a hospital, we -will- be with you through the entire labor and delivery. Even if it take a very long time. ( I once had a client who labored for 20 hours at home before going to the hospital and then labored another 15 hours to deliver a beautiful baby boy without pain meds... She was amazing and tenacious! I left once, to get more food since my stash of edibles in my roller case was used up, in that time and was back within 15 minutes.)

We keep ourselves up to date on pregnancy issues and labor and delivery conditions that occur, both in the home and in a hospital, and can help explain to a laboring mother what will/is happening both during the pregnancy and labor. We -cannot- provide medical advice (that requires a medical degree, ya' know), but we can explain what doctors and nurses are saying and give other options for you to consider if you don't like the advice of the medical staff. We can't advocate directly to the medical staff on your behalf, but we -can- help keep you informed of your rights and options if the medical staff are pressuring you into something that you don't want.

Please do look for a Doula. We can provide invaluable support both to you -and- to your husband.

2 moms found this helpful

LOVED my doula. hire one now so you can benefit from all of the pregnancy advantages they afford you too.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi,
I second/third/fourth the recommendation to have a doula present during the labor/birth - it's really helpful no matter what. But I also want to share my husband's experience. He has had episodic fainting spells all his life, but didn't think much of them. There was always an extenuating circumstance - he was exhausted from swim class,he'd been on a really dizzying roller coaster, partied a little too hard in college that one time, etc.

We realized it was more than that when we were on a flight back from the east coast. We'd both been dozing in our seats when he said "I feel nauseous" and suddenly stiffened and became unresponsive. It looked like a minor seizure. He was ok after a few minutes (other than hurting his back during the seizure) but boy was it scary. Luckily there were 2 doctors on the plane!

After a bunch of tests, my husband was diagnosed with neurocardiogenic syncope - or fainting caused by the fact that his heart slows down (he'll, it STOPPED during the tilt table test) when it should speed up (in response to stress, etc.) a doctor recommended he have a pacemaker implanted at the age of 31. It's been 5 years and he hasn't fainted ONCE since then. (there are also drugs that can help, it's just that they didn't work for him in this case)

So I would urge you guys to get his fainting checked out. It can be treated. Good luck...

Updated

Hi,
I second/third/fourth the recommendation to have a doula present during the labor/birth - it's really helpful no matter what. But I also want to share my husband's experience. He has had episodic fainting spells all his life, but didn't think much of them. There was always an extenuating circumstance - he was exhausted from swim class,he'd been on a really dizzying roller coaster, partied a little too hard in college that one time, etc.

We realized it was more than that when we were on a flight back from the east coast. We'd both been dozing in our seats when he said "I feel nauseous" and suddenly stiffened and became unresponsive. It looked like a minor seizure. He was ok after a few minutes (other than hurting his back during the seizure) but boy was it scary. Luckily there were 2 doctors on the plane!

After a bunch of tests, my husband was diagnosed with neurocardiogenic syncope - or fainting caused by the fact that his heart slows down (he'll, it STOPPED during the tilt table test) when it should speed up (in response to stress, etc.) a doctor recommended he have a pacemaker implanted at the age of 31. It's been 5 years and he hasn't fainted ONCE since then. (there are also drugs that can help, it's just that they didn't work for him in this case)

So I would urge you guys to get his fainting checked out. It can be treated. Good luck...

2 moms found this helpful

Hire the doula or make sure a friend can be with you. Don't depend on the delivery room nurses to be their for you. The night I gave birth to my son was the busiest night ever in the maternity ward of the hospital, a hospital that my internist (not my OB/GYN) described as baby central. Despite what we were told during childbirth classes, nurses were just not available to provide coaching assistance for my husband. ( He was there, but was not a good coach) I went through 3 shifts of nurses (I was fully effaced, but not dilating for
~ 20 hrs). The first was an overly stressed and unsympathetic head nurse, who apparently popped out her own 4 kids with out a hitch. When another mom on the floor was screeming on pain she made some terse comment, and snapped at me when I winced from the pain. The next just checked on me twice during her shift (by then I had an epidural). The third had a student nurse in tow, and was great.

So if you can have someone in the room you know will be able to support you, do it. I had a friend who hired a doula so her husband could enjoy the experience of their son's birth with out the stress and the responsibility of coaching. She said it was the best decision she made, and I've regretted not doing so ever since.

2 moms found this helpful

Do What? I am sure that any husband would amaze you at this point. Tell him he is coming with you to the classes, to the hospital, and through the delivery. this is the birth of your child and its not about him and his fears. No doula can take the place of the babys father and your husband. If they say they can than they are definattly not what your looking for. In a sucessful marriage you need to beable to rely on each other and this is a time in which you should beable to rely on him. I am well aware that yes some dads to faint but theres always a chair availble and they can always stick thier head between thier legs. Trust me you dont want to allow him to miss this!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Don't set him up for failure, Encourage him to stay up by your face and tell him this is part of being a daddy, remember "in sickness and health" Ask him real nice to at least try to stay by you, but bring a back up person incase. FYI I am sure he will not be the last daddy to faint in the delivery room!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi when are you due? I am a Doula I think It would be good to hire a Doula. To help support you, & your husband. I think with lots of extra care & your own husbands inner strength you both might be surprised at his strength.. Some delivery are more messy then others. But I think if The Doula nursing staff, & doctor know ahead of time, About his reaction to blood it can try to be avoided. I'm sure the Doula and staff can help you with sheliding him of most blood. if he did decide he couldn't handle it. the doula would still be with you. I dont believe anything would cause him problems till the delivery.
he can always leave the room for exams.

Good Luck, & God blessings to your growing family :)

D.

1 mom found this helpful

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