Husband Afraid of Baby #2 - Apex,NC

I thought I was reading my profile!!! 18 month old son...wanting to start trying this fall. Our issue is money...he is so wierd about it. I was put on bed rest for 3 weeks (swelling, high blood pressure, no pre-eclampsia here either), and I was induced 3.5 weeks early. Gained 75 lbs, lost 40 within the 1st week.

Is he a stats guy? Maybe you can do some searches for that kind of stuff. My OBGYN is a guy and he was really great about talking to us, maybe you can schedule a visit with yours and you can weigh you risks with a professional.

My advice to you would be to pray and ask God for guidance.. He will give you the answer that you need. If you choose to do this, you can't go wrong....
Be blessed

well my 2nd was a suprise for us but my husband was scare between the both of us but u have to wait until he says that he is really keep on talkin and reading about it it will help him out alot but every prgnancy is so very different my 1st one went smooth 2nd had a few problems but he is here good and health but wait until he says ok but good luck with everything

I think you are right not to force the issue....but I feel you need to sit down with your husband and have a real honesy, no holes bared kind of conversation...I say this because since you had no real complications the first time, he has no reason to have these fears. It sounds like an excuse for him. To "have a feeling" something is wrong, can be man speak for "i have a feeling that i don't want another baby right now" but rather than just say that, he is hiding behind the mystical "i have a feeling something is going to go wrong." I miscarried pretty far along...and was pregnant two weeks later..literally. Had my husband and I held onto the feeling that "something would go wrong" we would not be welcoming our totally healty son in three months. If you want another baby, be honest with him....and tell him that your honesty deserves nothing less than his total honesty in return. My best to you. I know the feeling well of wanting that next baby. :-) I am 33 now...and we are already planning how far apart the next one will be from the one due in three months. Tick Tick Tick...I hear that louder the older I get. And three years apart is great. My Sophie will be 2 and a half when babyboy is born. (we still dont have name picked out,,suggestions welcome :-) I will be thinking of you....

Hi C.,
After you have one child, for some it opens the eyes to the potential dangers that can occur during childbirth. After we know the love of a child, we then realize the fear of losing that child and that can be frightening for some parents. Perhaps you should explore his fears more in depth and see if his fears are related just to the childbirth experience or is it deeper than that? Is he afraid he will lose you during childbirth and be left alone to care for a child? Is he afraid he will not be able to love another child as much as your son now? Is it something else such as financial pressures? I think once you determine the root cause of his concern, you may be better able to alleviate his fears.

Dear C.,
I have an 8 month old boy and just recently found out that baby #2 is on its way... what a major shock to both my husband and I. i always wanted another child but no really that soon. my husband on the other hand was soooo against having another. when we would speak about it (before i got pregnant) he would tell me flat out NO WAY. one is enough i asked him for the reasonings and basically all i kept getting is a MANS point of view. no getting through that tuff scull. in the end i figured out that men tend to worry about what it will be like, how it will affect the money, the house and now they have alot more to care for. with one my husband helps around around the house for me but with 2 he is worried that he will be stuck doing more than his share. by no means is he the type to nag or not do anything but alot will fall on his plate. I just like u had bed rest for the last month of my first pregancy and now he worries that if the saem or worse could happen with #2 i will be out of commision and life would be really HARD on him. try talking to him and finding out what his fears are. it doesnt hurt to discuss whatever it is that is bothing him and maybe then a solution can come

you can never reassure someone that the next pregnancy will be without problems b/c no one ever knows that until the time comes. if he's really uneasy with it just hold off for a little while longer and then bring it up again. or you can just leave it up to nature. if you guys dont use birth control and even if you do sometimes god steps in and gives you a gift.

Good for your husband to express his feelings! But keep in mind your childs feelings too.....I think siblings are the best thing you can give a child. My sons are 18 months apart and it was really tough on me but now that they are 4 and 5 they are best friends and I wouldnt have it any other way!

GOOD LUCK!