21 answers

Hubby Says Toddler and Newborn Can Sleep in the Same Room?

Hi,
We're going to have our second baby in 2 weeks, and my DH thinks that my 20 month old (who is now sleeping in his big boy bed because he climbed out of his crib just last week) is going to sleep through the night and stay down when we have a newborn sleeping in the same room with him. We have an extra bedroom in the house, and it's not as close to where the kids would be sleeping if we separate them, and we'd have to buy a monitor and stuff (right now we can hear kid #1 through an open interior hallway to his room .... weird apartment). Anyway, my question is: 1) has anyone had success having 2 children under the age of 2 sleep in the same room? 2) will my 20 month old still come in to see what's going on, regardless of what room we put him in, and so is it a moot point to create another separate space for him ? Am I right, that kids won't sleep together well until the baby is a little older? Thanks for any input or help you can give.

UPDATE: And what about changing the kids in the night, if they're sharing the nursery and the baby is in her bassinet in our room? Do we set up a separate changing area, so that I don't have to keep going into my son's room to change the baby after I nurse???

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Hey there... I put my girls in the same room.. my big girl was almost 3 and the baby was just about 2 months when I moved her into the room and out of the pack and play next to my bed. I did however put the girls together in the same room for naps (from the start) so it wouldnt be unexpected for either. Maybe you could start w naps too so all of you could get used to the arrangement.
good luck & enjoy!

Hey M.,

I had the same issue. My son, at the time I was expecting the second child, was going to be 2 yrs. old. We put the crib up in the bedroom and we found him continually climbing into the the babies crib. So we decided that when the baby came they would not share a bedroom for now. Better to be safe. I don't doubt that some have had success with children sharing a room with an age difference.

More Answers

Hello - we just put our 2nd daughter (4 months) in the same room with our 3 yr old. The 3 yr old goes to bed first then we put the baby down after. They have been doing great, I try to make sure that if one is up for some reason sooner than the other one, that I take them out of the room as to not wake the other.

I am expecting my 2nd as well and we are planning on keeping the baby in our room in a bassinet/cosleeping until he is 3-4 months and then try putting him in the room with my 3 1/2 year old. I know most of the time my older son will sleep through quite a lot when it is the middle of the night, so I am hoping this will work out as we don't have any other options! I have thought of putting the kids in the master bedroom since there is more space and moving us to the smaller one. That way there is more room between their beds maybe the baby won't wake up my older son as much.

I would just keep a few diapers and a tub of wipes in your room for middle of the night changes.

Hi M.,

When my youngest (16mo old) was born we first put her in a bassinette in our room. When she became about 6mo old we put her in a room down the hall with her sister who was then about 2 1/2yrs old. It worked out fine...they learned to adjust to each others sleeping habits. Both of my oldest (5 & 3) still come in to our room here & there.
To sum it up...yes it works sharing a room with little ones...of course everyone has to work at it & adapt.

Hope this helps!
C.

I am in your same situation, and here is what I am doing. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a newborn girl. My plan (and I'll let you know how it goes! ;-) is to keep the baby with me in our room in a bassinet. With my son, I had him in the nursery in his crib from day 1. With the bassinet in my room, it makes it so much easier to nurse and far less distriptive to my limited sleep. My intent is to move my daughter into my the "children's" room when she has longer, more consisten sleep patterns -- hopefully 3-4 months. My concern, like yours, was that my toddler won't be able to sleep with a crying baby and a well-rested toddler makes for a happier home!

Good luck, and I am sure whatever you do will be great!

My kids slept in the same room starting when the baby was about 9 months and his brother was 4. I would have hesitated to put a 20-month-old with a newborn, but my kids could climb into the crib by that age. Personally, I'd wait until the baby is mostly sleeping through the night. You already have to wake up no matter where the baby is, so why wake up your other child, too?

But then, I kept both newborns in our room until they were older. I didn't like to go more than a couple of feet when I had to get up for a feeding!

Think about this for a moment. Most of humanity, for most of the world's history, has had limited sleeping space, often a single room for an entire family. With that background, you know that sleeping arrangements are just not that important.

More specifically, we have five daughters and for many years they all slept in the same room, all ages. We had a bassinet (big luxury!) for the last two but it was still pretty close in proximity to their room. Sometimes they wake up, sometimes not. Doesn't matter; they adjust to everything. It's what families do.

And try, please for your own sake just try, not to stress or even care about when the new baby sleeps "through the night," which I put in quotes because you will hear it so much. I myself do not sleep through the night, so why should I care if a baby wants to nurse? I did it for years because none of mine ever slept through the night at a young age. It was no big deal; I'd just nurse and possibly change them, not even putting the lights on. Usually no one woke up but me. Sweatless.

Hi M., My two daughters are 21 months apart. Our first house was a cape cod and we only had two bedrooms. Our goal was to get the newborn to sleep throught the night before joining her with her older sister in the same room (2 seperate cribs though). Anyway, we had the infant in our room for the first 2-3 months. She apparently was not able to make it through the night because she "smelled" my scent (a veteran mom told me). So....we moved her into the same room with her sister. The transition lasted 2 nights and she began sleeping throught the night. Her older sister did not seem to hear her cry...I know, crazy. I guess they get into a deep sleep!*! Good Luck!

Hey there... I put my girls in the same room.. my big girl was almost 3 and the baby was just about 2 months when I moved her into the room and out of the pack and play next to my bed. I did however put the girls together in the same room for naps (from the start) so it wouldnt be unexpected for either. Maybe you could start w naps too so all of you could get used to the arrangement.
good luck & enjoy!

Your right. I tried it for the same reasons and ended up buying the monitor and even set up a single bed in the babies room for those long nights. Your oldest will more than likely get up with you for a while and you can use the single bed to lay him down on if he refuses to go back to his room once he knows your up. Once he is asleep take him back to his bed. He will adapt to the new sounds quickly. MEN!!! lol

I would try to keep your newborn in your room as long as possible, especially since your son has just moved to a new bed.
This will be easier on all of you.
It is best to do as little activity as possible during the night and without talking if possible, so that the children learn that when it is dark, it is the time for sleep.
I am the mother of 6 and grandmother of 10.
Best wishes.

Hey M.,

I had the same issue. My son, at the time I was expecting the second child, was going to be 2 yrs. old. We put the crib up in the bedroom and we found him continually climbing into the the babies crib. So we decided that when the baby came they would not share a bedroom for now. Better to be safe. I don't doubt that some have had success with children sharing a room with an age difference.

M. -
We had the same situation. I had the new baby in our room in a bassinet for the first few months. Since I was breastfeeding - it just made sense to have him close by. I also had a changing station set up there as well. Once he was too big for the bassinet we moved him into the room with his brother. It was tough for a while. I'm a very light sleeper and would jump up at the first peep hoping to keep the other one asleep! It's tricky, but after a while they get used to it. For naps I continued to put the baby in our room in a portable crib/playpen. They never napped at the same time, of course! Congratulations and good luck!
M. G.

My daughter was 33 months when my son was born. For the first few months he slept in the bassinet in our room and the changing table was in our room also. Then he went into the crib in her room (which then became their room). She was in a toddler bed and he was in a crib. When he needed to be fed I brought him into bed with me or I went into the family room where the glider was. And I left the changing table in our room for diaper changes. With a nightlight, I was able to change in the dark!!

We do have three bedrooms but we use one for the office and it is not located in the house where a child's room should be. (right off of the family room - with french doors)

My daughter is a great sleeper, always has been so him waking up did not seem to bother her. Now if I was to have #3 now and to put that baby with my son - I would wonder if he could sleep through it.

It worked for us - my suggestion to you would be to initially put them together and see how it works. If it does not work out, move the older child to the room farther away - decorate it together; make the move a BIG deal, and put the baby in the room closest to yours.

I hope this helps... and good luck with your delivery!!

B. D

Hi M.,

I think it would be a good idea to let your son adjust to his own room for a while before putting the baby in with him. That may cause problems with his sleep cycles and then you will have to get up double the amount of time through the night.
Also it will help to get your newborn on a sleep schedule before you put them together. Honestly, I would not put them together until she is close to sleeping through the night (like maybe waking once at night).

Set up the bassinette in your room. You can put your changing table in a main area, not in a room, try your living room or a hallway.
I would also get a monitor for your son's room if you don't think you will be able to hear him if he wakes in the night. I love mine (we lived in an apt too) when my son was an infant!

- L.

We have two, eighteen months apart. We had them sleep in the same room and they did just fine. I think what made it easier though is that my youngest slept in our room in the pack and play until he was about 6 months old then we transitioned him into their shared room. We were surpised but it even when one woke up at night or one couldn't sleep the other did just fine. They are also very close and loving now and I think the room sharing may have contributed to it.

I assume the newborn with be with you and hubby for the first 3 months or so. If hubby is worried about his sleep, then you should consider sleeping in the spare room with the newborn until you are through the worst of the night feedings. The last thing you need when you have a screaming newborn at 3am is to also have a screaming toddler. This is too much for any mom to handle. When the night feedings are tapering down (around 4 months or so) the baby should be sleeping through the night pretty well and it is your call whether you want to get the kids sleeping together.

We did it...twice. My daughter was 22 months when her younger brother came along. We have always put them straight in the crib from the moment they came home from the hospital (we have NO room in our room for even a moses basket). We had no trouble what-so-ever. Both baby and toddler slept fine. I nursed baby in our room in the middle of the night, and changed him there as well. Now my daughter is 5 and she is again sharing with her baby sister this time. I nursed the baby in their room this time, and changed her there as well. Sometimes my older daughter would wake up and we would have "girl time" with just the three of us girls in there. Other times she would sleep through it all. I've loved having them together and my 2 boys share as well and I think it is great. It forces them to learn to compromise and get along and sometimes do without (as in "you can't play in there right now, it's nap time"). It's been good.

A fairly new study has shown that having a newborn sleep in the same room as parents GREATLY reduces the risk of SIDS. I, personally, co-sleep (newborn in my bed) and I get more sleep, but I know this is not for everyone.
I think the baby will disturb the 20 month old and I would not go that route. Also, if you are closer to the baby and can meet your baby's needs quickly in the night, then having her disturb your son shouldn't be a problem :)

Manda

I have two boys that are 14 months apart in age. We kept baby number 2 in our room in a pack/n/play for the first 2 months mainly just for my piece of mind. After the 2 month Dr. appointment, mommy was going back to work so we put both boys in the same room in 2 cribs. Child number 1 was always a pretty sound sleeper and even if he climbed out of his crib (only once or twice) he never left his room. We moved him to a big boy bed (still in the same room) at age 2 (baby was 10 months). Both boys still share the same room in 2 toddler beds now at ages 3 & 4. They both only leave the room to go potty and then quickly return even if sleeping in late on the weekends so they can be with each other. Afriad they might miss out on the fun that sometimes sounds like a circus through the adjoining wall to our room, but boys will be boys! As for the changing table, we left ours in the room and just learned to do it in the dark and as quietly as possible, although I was known to take a diaper and wipes with me if the baby was exceptionaly fussy when we went out to feed. Best of luck!!

I'll be interested to see how this turns out... we're expecting #2 in June and our son will be 24 months at the time. They will be sharing a room, too.

BUT, the new baby will be sleeping with us for at least the first 3 months or so. At that point sleep habits become more regular, and I suspect our son will have an easier time adjusting. Maybe you can consider keeping the new baby with you all for the first few months too? That might partially or completely solve the problem.
Congrats on your upcoming arrival!!

I tried it with no success. The biggest problem I had was with my toddler waking up the baby just because he was excited and wanted to hang out with her. Another problen was that my son could not only climb out of the crib he could climb into it which he did all the time to snuggle with his little sister. If they do share a room the other thing to watch for is blankets and stuffed animals. My toddler, trying to be nice, would pile blankets and toys into the crib for the baby which is of course dangerous for the baby. I found it easier just to put a crib in our room for a few months then move the baby in with my toddler when she was better able to defend herself. Keep in mind every kid is different you just have to be open to trying different things and seeing what works best. You'll do fine with any decision you make.

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