8 answers

How Young Is Too Young for the Sex Talk?

My 8 year old daughter has informed me that a little boy said he wanted to have sex with her. I asked what he said to her she stated that he said he wanted to have sex with her in her underwear. This little boy is also around the 7-9 age, but that is very unsettling to me. We have since moved from that area, BUT now she has all sorts of questions about sex, and I will not lie to her about it or blow her off. My question is just how in depth should I go?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for the good advice. I had the sex talk with her and answered all of her questions truthfully, I just wanted to make sure she wasnt getting too much information. After all was said and done, she said she was never having sex because that is nasty!! (LOL)

Featured Answers

When I knew my son was starting to explore his sex parts by playing and masterbating (I have caught him a couple of times in the shower or in the bed), I knew this would be a perfect time to explain to him about the okay's in masterbating and nos to people touching his privates. And every year I add something else to the conversation. He has been involved with girls (playmates) before kindergarten, but I know he is wanting to show his love the same way I show love to my partner, by kissing, holding hands, and hugging, etc. Holding hands are ok, hugging okay, kissing you ask me first. He hates these conversations, but I myself was sexually abused at the age of 9years old by my own father until the age of 12years. So the earlier the better.

J.

More Answers

We had a speaker about sex talk and kids. It was very interesting. One of the important things that she said was that you need to talk to your kids about sex before someone else does. That way you can teach them your values and beliefs. And to talk to them in terms that they can understand and no need to get super technical at this point.

Hi H.. I have two children; a boy who is 12 and a girl who is 8. My son started asking me questions about where babies come from really and things like that about two years ago. So I went to the library and found an age-appropriate book and we talked about it BRIEFLY. However, this year my ex-husband and I thought that since he is of that age where girls are not so "yucky" anymore, we would give him a healthy insight into this uncomfortable, yet necessary subject. He has Adolescent STudies at Longfellow, so they at least touch base on some things. My ex has a book that we share. It is a CHristian book and is very informative and descriptive, yet allows the child to go into this subject in a mature manner. The book is great. If you want me to, I can get the name of it (I forgot) and give it to you. I cannot imagine a child that young (the boy who said that to your daughter) saying something like that. What does that tell you about what he learns at home (or doesn't learn). Let me know. K.

Hi! I have worked with sexually abused kids. The only thing I would like to add to all the great advice you have recieved is that a great way to respond top your daughter when she has a question you are not prepared to answer, say "Let me think about how I want to answer that, because it is an important question. We'll talk about it tomorrow." It's OK to think about your answer first. Also, I recommend a mommy-daughter journal if your daughter can write well enough, or even email. She can ask questions to you, and you can talk to her about the answers (don't write her back, talk.) This way, you have time to think, and she doesn't have to feel as embarrassed. Good Luck!

hi H....
I have been dealing with this too but I have a boy and we had a girl tell him that she wanted to play with his private parts. We had a long talk with him that it isnt ok and had a dicussion about it and we keep reminding him about it whenever we feel that he may need help. We have alot of trouble lately with some of the little girls in our town.

When I knew my son was starting to explore his sex parts by playing and masterbating (I have caught him a couple of times in the shower or in the bed), I knew this would be a perfect time to explain to him about the okay's in masterbating and nos to people touching his privates. And every year I add something else to the conversation. He has been involved with girls (playmates) before kindergarten, but I know he is wanting to show his love the same way I show love to my partner, by kissing, holding hands, and hugging, etc. Holding hands are ok, hugging okay, kissing you ask me first. He hates these conversations, but I myself was sexually abused at the age of 9years old by my own father until the age of 12years. So the earlier the better.

J.

My five year old unfortunately has to many older friends and has been asking questions all summer long. She doens't quite get it but does know in order to make a baby a mommy/daddy have to get naked in a bed. It bothers me that my child even knows what the word sex means. They have the sex education in public school around 3rd or 4th grade.It's actually getting really common for young girls to get their periods these days as young as 8 and 9 years old. I say go for it and keep it a simple conversation but be honest. Atleast your daughter feels comfortable enough to bring up the subject with you so she can get honest facts and not misleading rumors about what sex is.

I for 1 have had that talk with my 9 year old and she was well informed I found out. The kids mature so quickly these days. I wanted her to hear the TRUTH from me instead of any other way. Be honest.

My son started asking questions around 8 yrs old also. I was shocked, I felt he was to young. After I recovered I decided since he brought it up to answer whatever questions he had honestly. I used all the correct terms for the body parts (that was very hard). I also made sure I told him that it was special and to wait till he was old enough to understand what true love was, and to wait to get married and have babies. I was a teenage mom, and my mother was as well and her mother before her. This is a scary situation for me and I pray my children will be so much smarter about sex. I can only make them try to feel comfortable about comming to be and asking questions or if they ever need help.
Hope that helps-
M.

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.