How Would a Day Care Center Handle This?

Updated on July 31, 2015
V.S. asks from Coatesville, PA
31 answers

Wondering how a day care would handle a baby that wants to be held all day long? I have a 6 week old baby who will not sleep during the daytime hours unless he is in a sling, being held, in the car, or in a stroller (motion). This is my third, and trust me, we have tried everything - swaddling, pacifier, etc. I never used day care so I wonder how they handle this kind of situation. I don't think they have the staff to hold babies one on one all day long. Any answers?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the advice. Sorry to confuse everyone - the baby is not going to daycare - I was just looking for ideas as to how to keep him asleep during the daytime so I could get some cleaning done (hard to carry him in an ergo when you are scrubbing a kitchen floor) and I wondered how a daycare might work out the problem since I don't think they could hold a baby for hours on end either. Re: using a swing - I did use one with my first kid and might buy a new one for this boy but I want to steer clear of getting him set up to rely on this method alone (b/c eventually he will outgrow the swing)

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K.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that's why no centers take babies before 6 weeks. They're too needy. Do what you can to comfort him now and let the house be messy. You can worry about bad habits later, IMO

5 moms found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from Denver on

What is really the difference between weening him off of a swing verses being constantly held. At this young, I think you just focus on comforting and keeping him happy. My guess is a daycare would rotate between holding, a swing and going for walks.

5 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

They'd probably put him in a baby swing for nap time.
They wouldn't hold him all day long.

Additional:
He's 6 weeks old!
Forget scrubbing the floor - or hire someone to do it!
If the other kids are old enough then have them help you with household chores while you tend to the baby.

3 moms found this helpful

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Oh, please try the swing!!! When the baby is this young, don't waste your energy discounting things you may or may not have to wean him off one day. Right now you need to get him to sleep without having to be held, and the swing might really do the trick!

Look, babies change every few weeks. He might change his mind about he swing. At least it buys you a few weeks! And if he decides he just loves the swing, you will find a way to wean him just like you are trying to find a way to wean him right now.

7 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't really understand your concern about the swing. By the time he outgrows it he won't want to be in it anymore anyway, he will want to be MOVING around!
Sounds like you've had two very easy babies so far.
Put the child in the swing, and free up your hands for goodness sake!

7 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

You're on your third, you should know by now, try anything that's worked for others.

Worrying about having to wean them off of a soothing method when you NEED that method is just silly. Both my kids loved the swing, neither got "hooked". I never thought I'd use a pacifier until my second little screamer "demanded" we try SOMETHING. Worked like a charm up until a year when we slowly phased it out.

Clearly you need a break. Now is more important, worry about the future later.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

They simply can't give that one-on-one special treatment because they're responsible for other kids, too. Daycare may be a really good thing in helping to put an end to this. Your baby will learn to nap in a crib and have to function independently for stretches as the daycare provider tends to other kids. Your situation isn't unique and daycare providers will be in a good position to help. They've dealt with tons of babies.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.Y.

answers from Boston on

I'm not sure this is the answer you're looking for:

There will always be laundry to wash, floors to clean and dishes that are dirty. Your baby will never be six weeks old again.

Hold him. It really is your most important job. If you're too busy trying to do other tasks, you'll miss the moment. The time with a newborn passes very quickly. Savor it.

Best,
T. Y

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i don't know any daycare centers that will assign a staff member to hold a baby all day long.
but since that's not what you're really asking about, in your situation i'd just wear him as much as possible, and put him down when YOU need a break. my kids did great with swings (not sure why you're reluctant to use it. swings are not addictive, they're just useful). i know lots of attachment moms are fine with a baby swaddled to 'em 24/7, i wasn't one of them. i loved holding and wearing my babies, but sometimes i needed to step away for my own sanity. most of the time they were fine with being in a swing or their crib. when they weren't, i'd let them fuss for a few minutes, and/or take my stretch-and-get-my-sanity-back break when my husband was around.
infants change so quickly. let some of the housework go for a few weeks, get a swing, have your husband do the holding, and put the baby down when you must. this phase will be gone before you can finish analyzing it.
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

swings, bouncy seats, rocker seats, vibrating seats, nap nannies, play mats on the floor. every child is different and every child changes as they grow.
my dd used to only nap in a swing. and one day she decided that she would only sleep on the floor on a certain blanket. she then decided that she had to be in her crib with a closed door and soft music playing to nap. so even if your l/o gets used to sleeping in the swing he will eventually be able to sleep in bed.

4 moms found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

In child care they would have 2 teachers with 8 babies. They would help each other and find ways to get the baby interested in things so they could do things like feed another child or change a diaper.

I remember seeing one of my infant room teachers sitting in a rocking chair with one in her lap getting a bottle, one in an infant seat, strapped in of course, and she was rocking that one with her foot. The other one was in a walker and right by her other knee.

She had all 3 taken care of and her 4th one was asleep in the baby bed.

She inspired me.

Sometimes when a baby isn't happy they have to lay down in their bed for a few minutes and cry. They aren't horrible to the child but they have to care for the other babies that are assigned to them. They try to quickly do the needed tasks then get the baby out of the bed and comfort them but still work on getting the baby to gain some independence.

They are required to do a certain amount of tummy time per day, they have to account for ever feeding and diaper change and any foods they eat. They have to do their job while doing the states required things too. The paperwork is required and they send a copy home with the parents. It's a complete break down of the infants day.

Yes, the baby would cry some, yes, it wouldn't be fun but the baby would not be ignored nor would it lay in the bed and cry for hours.

The teachers in the baby room are special people that have the patience of Job as far as I'm concerned.

I think you have to do what is right for you. I can't tell you what is right for you. I would be going nuts holding a baby that much. I wasn't raised in a time where attachment parenting was even a thought in anyone's mind. Most of us had to go back to work at 6 weeks so we could have a decent life and have money for our later years. So many of us had no choices.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from New York on

I'm not a daycare worker and never used daycare but you didn't mention trying a swing. It helped a lot with my first high needs baby.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

don't worry - daycare may actually help the problem by training her to self-soothe. they've seen it all before! if they agree to care for your child, they will do what they can to meet your child's needs. and they have experience - they know strategies and tricks for all types of children.

just be sure you are in agreement with their philosophies; maybe straight up ask them what they do when a baby won't stop crying. if you like what you hear, then trust them, relax, and know your child will be fine in their care.

good luck, mama!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Boston on

It should get better in the next 1-2 months. For now, do what it takes, including using a Bjorn to get things done.

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I don't think they have the staff, but they do have the equipment usually.

My cousins have something like this (not necessarily this brand): http://www.albeebaby.com/4moms-rockaroo-silver-plush.html...

Lots of settings and different patterns of motion so it doesn't get boring, and you can skip the ones that don't work or aren't the favorites, but do vary them. And use mobiles above them - the view changes each time the swing moves in a rotation, a bounce, and up & down motion, etc. My cousins felt it was a lifesaver!

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Hi read through the responses and also your SWH - I see now you're more interested really in just how to get things done with an infant who likes to be held.

I had some like this and I swear by bouncy seats (the kind that vibrates and had bubbles/something to watch), swings, etc. I needed free arms because I had other kids and had to run after toddlers. One thing I had was a sore abdomen from C-sections, so slings never worked really well for me and my larger babies. So I heavily relied on comfy seats for them to relax in while I tended to my other kids. You mention this is your third - you must find that challenging too. I can relate!

Is this just a stage or has your last little one been a bit more demanding right through? My kids all hit 6 weeks and required far more attention - I believe they hit a growth spurt. After 2 I realized it was a pattern, so I just made sure I had extra help (my mom would visit) those 2 or so weeks where it was a lot of crying unless they were rocked, etc.

However, I had one child they said had colic but really had ear troubles and tummy issues - I am guessing you've had all that checked out too. That child I remember walking up and down the hallway, walking around block numerous times, long car rides ... It's challenging.

I would invest in the swing if I were you. None of mine got so used to them that they became dependent on them. I had no troubles transitioning them as they got older. In fact, they wanted out of them when they were more mobile and able to sit up more.

It saved my sanity, relaxed me as a mom, and was really a gift to my other kids too. I had more time to get down no floor and play with them and was able to give them some one on one time.

Good luck :)

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

I'm positive the average daycare would let the baby cry himself to sleep.

Get yourself a swing today! Stop discounting that fabulous invention.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Get a good carrier and wear him, IMO. Do your cleaning when he is asleep. I suspect that he will be better as he gets older. He's just 6 weeks. My DD liked being swaddled but NOT with her arms in. We used a papasan style swing a lot.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My center didn't have swings (NAEYC accrediting rules). They would have taken turns holding him. And if it's during lunch time when the teachers in the room need to feed the older babies, the center director would come and take him and hold him in the office while she answered the phone. I've seen it.

Although most babies don't start in daycare until closer to 12 weeks and by then, they can usually handle at least a little tummy time during the day to give the staff a break, even if they want to be held to sleep.

1 mom found this helpful
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F.B.

answers from New York on

Swing, or indeed rotating staff to hold babies.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

If it's a concern, stay home with him for a while. Daycares cannot hold him all day.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Congrats on the new baby.

I don't know how a day care would handle it, but if I were you, I would try a baby swing or one of those bouncey seats that vibrate. Good luck! You must be exhausted!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I am a daycare provider and here is what I do. I let baby cry a little but most of the time I hold them when I can and move them from bouncy seat to swing to pack n play to see where they are most comfortable. Sometimes I have no choice but to put them down and let them cry while I take care of other children.

M

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Since it sounds like you are staying home to be with the baby, be with the baby. Things that cannot be done while wearing the baby (and those seem like very few things) can be done in the evening or when his father is home and holding him. Or his father can do those things.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Before my current job, I worked at a daycare center, infant room. You already have great suggestions below. How did we do it...there was 2 staff for 8 babies. In our room, we had different ages most 6-8 weeks old up to 10/12 months-they weren't all 6 weeks old, some babies were more content than others, we did our best, rotated floor, held, bouncy, swing, etc. also, babies are different for caregivers vs mom. Sometimes they cried, sometimes soft sounds/music, propped up in boppy pillow. Sometimes, the director would come in to give a hand. I know you mentioned you didn't want to get him a a habit of the swing (take him out when he falls asleep) but being held all the time becomes a habit...in my opinion.

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

When are you going back to work? My son was the same way but around 3 months seemed to out grow it. About two weeks before I went back to work he was sleeping through the night and happy to be on his activity play mag for a time or in a bumbo. He is 4 months old now and as easy a baby can be. But for sure I was really worried there for a while that he would not relax and be ok with being put down. I think in a few weeks you'll be surprised how much your child developes. Keep holding your baby and making them feel secure. When they're ready they will be confident to be put down and not need the 24 hour holding. I think that is why you're entitled to 10 weeks off work... Because that's about how long it takes to get to that stage. Good luck. :)

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

They should have enough staff members to attend to all the infants. They would have to take turns and I am sure they will have swings or something to help with infants.

Check the site I found to get an idea of how many people per child/infant, the older the child the less staff is needed.

https://daycare.com/pennsylvania/

I would be sure of this before leaving your baby.

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A.M.

answers from Hartford on

You have to get them used to start to sleeping in a crib/bassinet/etc. My daughter is exactly like this but we had to start and she got used to it. Does your child possibly have reflux? Once my daughter was on the right formula and medicine she did alot better at sleeping and not being upright. We ended up having to stop breast feeding alltogether because I could not figure out my diet so it was not bothering. Also have you tried a rock n play? This worked wonders with my daugther. Alot of daycares will only allow the kids to sleep in cribs or pack n plays.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

me personally I would be swaddling, using the 5 S's, a very dark room, and a fan on or white noise on (I have a CD of it)
when the baby starts going to nap I may sway with it for a while, or pat it while it's in the crib, or hold my hand on it so it feels like I'm there until if falls asleep
another trick is to not go in if the baby cries for 5 minutes, almost always the baby goes back to sleep in that amount of time
Good luck, if I lived in your area I would come show you personally, even if you aren't my daycare parent

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

If I recall, daycare has a lower baby ratio, they rotate holding the babies, so sometimes someone has to cry. They also used swings and carriers to keep them rocking and happy.

S.T.

answers from Houston on

Pacifier, bouncy seat, floor, routine, ignore some of the fussing...

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