How to Write a Letter for a Personal Reference for Adoption

Updated on May 07, 2010
T.N. asks from Lagrange, IN
8 answers

I was honored when some friends of the family asked me to write a personal reference letter for them so that they can try to adopt. I have no idea how to write this letter. I feel they are wonderful people. I would do anything for them. They will make wonderful parents. I am just at a loss for words. I know how I feel for them deep down but don't know how to put it into words. I would love some advise on this. It would be greatly appreciated.

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answers from Dallas on

My husband and I adopted recently and i have a couple of copies of letters friends wrote for us, I would be happy to share. Let me know if you are interested.

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answers from Tampa on

Best suggestion is to write from your heart. i think that the more personal the letter is the better it is. Good Luck to your friends



answers from Dallas on

My husband and I adopted recently and i have a couple of copies of letters friends wrote for us, I would be happy to share. Let me know if you are interested.


answers from Sioux Falls on

How about something like this:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have known the Campbells for 9 years. They truly are wonderful people. They have been a positive influence in my life by_______________. Some ways they care for children are demonstrated in __________________. I believe they will be great parents because ____________________. I feel Ihave been blessed by knowing these people and I know they will cherish their new little one. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to call me. My number is______________.


answers from Reno on

Be sure to include any time that you have seen them interact with children and be descriptive as possible regarding how those interactions went. This give context to your statements about them as people looking to care for children


answers from Los Angeles on

I like these responses. Over the years as a counselor, I have worked alongside social services. Social workers and the court want to know that the child is in a safe home, with loving parents who show their care. Of course, there are many ways we do this as parents:
Get involved with child's school and actively help with their education
" " sports, activities, etc
show and model appropriate behaviors with peers (neighbors)
have numerous friends and a postive support system
and so forth...
In the letter, you can share how comfortable you might be (if you have children) asking this couple to babysit, what about their personalities have drawn you to being friends, any ways they may have supported / been there for you or other friends. The fact that you are taking the time here shows they chose well in asking you. Good luck! S. A. K., MFT



answers from Minneapolis on

I asked close friends to write letters of reference when I adopted my 3 boys. While I was not the letter writer, I did see the letters that were written (the agency didn't show me, my friends gave me copies after they were submitted). The letters that my friends wrote brought me to tears :)

Basically, they were testimonials as to how strong we were as a family, that we were wonderful parents to the children we already had, that we had deep connections to the community and to our church, that we had a wonderful support system in place through friends and family to help us with our journey, and that they felt that we genuinely could care for 3 more children. I know that our agency really was looking for affirmation that we had a good support system in place :)

After the letters were written, I did write special thank you cards to each of the people that wrote letters on our behalf.

Good luck!



answers from Cincinnati on

These are the questions the adoption agency had me answer for a friend and her husband who are trying to adopt. Hopefully this will help!

How long have you known the adoptive applicants?

Share your observation of the applicants with children.

Would you recommend the applicants as adoptive parents? If so, why? If not, why not?

Please discuss this couple's marital stability.

Would you trust the applicants with your children?

Do you have any concerns about the applicants?



answers from New York on

Letters of reference for any reason always seem very difficult to write. I would start the letter with "It has been my pleasure to have known the xxxx for the past xxx years. They are thougtful, generous, and loving friends."

You may also want to include how you know them, like they are neighbors or fellow church members.

Have you meet your friends family. You may want to say, "The xxxx have a loving and supporting parents ..."

You could end the letter by saying "I believe that Mr. & Mrs. X would make wonderful parents because...."

Good luck.

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