22 answers

How to Word Baby Shower Invitation

My sister-in-law is pregnant with her second child (her first girl), and I want to throw her a baby shower. Due to the economy, and that this shower is going to be family-only, I have decided to have it at a local tea room. My intention is that people will pay for their own food. How do I word the invitation so they know that I am not going to be picking up the tab? Any suggestions???

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I agree with everyone saying A)the word hostess implies that you are doing more than organizing, you are hosting (paying)B) skip the invites and just call folks and say everyone was thinking about getting out to celebrate the new baby girl C) just have it at someone's house...it's not her first, she's already had all the big hooplah showers, so she won't be cheated out of that experience.

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I like the phrase "Dutch treat" or "come join us for the baby shower, The Tea room offers great teas and dessert for reasonable prices" or something like that :) have fun!

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I don't think it is appropriate to expect guests to pay for their own food. Have it in your home instead and have finger sandwiches, cake, and punch. It will be inexpensive and spare your sister of the heartache.

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Generally the hostess of the party provides the food, so you are right that this is a difficult task. In my opinion, asking people to pay their way at a party could open up a large can of worms. I would be upset if I had to pay 15-20 for myself to go to a party as well as provide a suitable gift for the event. All of the tea houses I have been to have not been inexpensive (20 per person) and I'm wondering if this is really a good choice with the economy as you stated. Is there a way to host it at your home or someone else's home and just serve chips, dip, cake and drinks? Asking people to pay their way and provide a gift as well is asking a lot right now. It would make me send the gift with someone else, because honestly just the gift would be enough of an extra expense, yet alone the cost of food/tea. I know I didn't help with the wording and I am not trying to be rude, just giving you my thoughts so that you can throw a shower where everyone feels welcome and your sister-in-law doesn't get put in any awkward situations later. Families love to gossip and complain about each other, and I would hate to have you or her on the receiving end. If you think your families would be ok with paying their way, you could always make the invitation state the cost per person under the where and when sections. Good luck with everything and take care!

1 mom found this helpful

Just MHO . . . personally, I think it's a little much to expect each 'guest' (AKA 'giver') to buy a gift for the mom-to-be AND pay for their own lunch (or whatever meal it is) unless it's a bunch of folks who normally go out to eat together in smaller numbers. I think the more sociable and thoughtful thing to do 'in this economy' is to utilize a home, church fellowship hall, library, city/municipal building, or some low- or no-cost place like that at an after-dinner time (7:00 p.m. on a weekday or 1-2:00 p.m. on a weekend) and provide 'refreshments' (something wet and something dry -- not a meal. Chips, cake, nuts and punch; or tea, sandwiches, chips & veggies, or whatever) and ask some of the others to donate the food (or contribute to the cost of it) if you need them to.

1 mom found this helpful

I hosted a tea party at my house for a friend- it was actually pretty easy, since we got the men to take care of all the children! It would definitely be economical- homemade scones, tea both hot and iced (it turned out to be 90 degrees that day), cucumber sandwiches, cheese and crackers, fruit, cookies, etc. We had mismatched cups and plates and had a ton of fun! I think the whole thing cost about $50 for food and tea.

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I think if you are asking for gifts, then the food should be free. Sorry!!! Anything less is tacky, even among family, unless it is just immediate. If your intent is for people to give gifts, and I assume it is since you mention it is the first girl, then I suggest changing plans to have a small cake and brunch reception at a free venue, like a church basement.

If you want to go through with the tea room idea, then I suggest you CALL family members(not send an invitation) and tell the family that some of you would like to have a 'get to gether' (not a shower) for SIL at the local tea shop. Tell them 'everybody' thinks this is such a great way to show support for SIL and ask them if they would like to come. I'd tell them casually what is on the menu and comment that, "you can get all that for $10, so it is not very expensive". (You may even ask the tea room for a group discount). If people come with gifts, then great, if not, then I wouldn't worry about it.

If you really want a shower and want something different and cheap, how about a 'bruch'? You can skip the cake, get muffins, frenchtoast sticks and fresh fruit. Skip the favors (who really wants them) and have it someplace free.

1 mom found this helpful

First of all, like you said about "in this economy", I don't think I would have it at a tea room and expect others to pay unless you know they are going to be willing to pay without feeling pressured about attending. It could cause a lot of hard feelings. Believe it or not, some would hold it against your sister, not the person planning it.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with everyone saying A)the word hostess implies that you are doing more than organizing, you are hosting (paying)B) skip the invites and just call folks and say everyone was thinking about getting out to celebrate the new baby girl C) just have it at someone's house...it's not her first, she's already had all the big hooplah showers, so she won't be cheated out of that experience.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A.!
I just gave a shower like this last week at a Tea Room. We did the "High Tea" menu, so we included that menu in the invitation with the price on the bottom. Our invitation had "Dutch Treat" on it also. I have also seen wording like "We are treating the mother to lunch, please come treat yourself!". No one had a problem paying for themselves and everyone brought gifts.
You know your friends and family better than anyone, so you will know if they will be offended.
Good luck!

Ps- we found some very cute tea bags online as party favors that said "A Baby is Brewing".

1 mom found this helpful

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