How to Unspoil a Baby?

Oh, did you know? It's not possible to spoil a baby. Physiologically and emotionally impossible.

It is possible to teach a baby that their needs will not be met (neurologically speaking) by ignoring their needs. Babies only ability to communicate their needs are through sound. A baby cries when it is in pain, hungry, wet, or alone. It's not spoiled or manipulative - it's a baby. To ignore a babies needs (I'm not talking about to take a shower or stir some soup, of course) is neglect. A neglected baby stops trying to communicate it's needs.

((The cognitive ability of an infant is different than the cognitive ability of an older child or adult. Babies brains are still developing and they don't think past the present moment. When they are hungry, their whole self is HUNGRY. When they are put down and feel alone, they are completely ALONE. They don't experience time as linear and so they are always in present moment. Any need they are experiencing is experienced as holey encompassing. For them, their feelings is always and forever.

In contrast, as an adult we can say, "I'm hungry, but I'm going to have to wait. This is a temporary sensation and I won't die if I don't eat in the next few minutes." A baby can't do that because a baby doesn't think with time, language, context, or previous experience. All that stuff is still developing. A babies experience of hunger, or abandonment, or discomfort is different. Their experience is more similar to, "I'm hungry = I'm dying = forever."))

As to the babies mama, I am a little confused. Does your cousin live with you? Why is it your job to ask her to clean her room? Does it work for her to hold her baby most of the time? Some of us want non stop touch. Others need to hand off our babies. She needs to find her own comfort levels and methods.

If she lives with you and you have requirements, by all means. State your needs. "I need you to keep your room tidy. Let's look for a sling or baby carrier so that you can use both your hands without putting your baby down." If she doesn't live with you, it's probably not your business. She will need to find her own priorities and to structure her life in a way that works for her and hers.

And by the way, being young is besides the point. Some of the best moms I know were young when they had their child, and wanted to snuggle that baby up all the time.

18 moms found this helpful

You can't "spoil" a baby.
Leave your cousin alone.

16 moms found this helpful

To me it sounds like she is doing GREAT for such a young mom. She must have read up on modern ways of child rearing, because the thought of spoiling an infant is very outdated. Babies are meant to be held, they thrive on the physical contact with mom and it helps them develop socially, neurologically and physically.

How can you help? Get her a carrier so she can strap that baby to her chest and have her hands free to do other things! And please, let her and her baby learn for themselves. Good advice at that stage is only helpful if she asks - unsolicited advice will make her feel inadequate and ruin the experience for her... especially if it is outdated and contradicts what she may have learned in baby care classes.

One more thing, in addition to the carrier, offer to pay for a new mom/baby and me class. It's a great way to connect to other new moms, get some social interaction and exchange ideas.

Good luck!

15 moms found this helpful

An infant is not spoiled. Babies NEED to be with their parent. It's wonderful that a teen mom is so in tune with her baby. Her primary job is to care for this baby, rather than cleaning her room. The baby isn't spoiled. He/She doesn't need to cry. Newborns who are held a lot gain weight faster and have higher IQ's - there is research that shows this. Kudos to the cousin for doing a good job. Does she live with you? If not, I'd suggest that everyone in the family not jump in offering her advice and suggestions. She needs to be the parent, the one in charge.

14 moms found this helpful

Lolli:

Not your baby.
Not your business.
You cannot spoil a baby...an infant has spent up to 9 months in a nice, warm environment...so the first year is the hardest.

It's okay to let a baby cry - but not at 3 months...9 to 12 - yes. But 3? NO FREAKING WAY!! This baby is developing trust at this point. His needs must be first.

She has a lot of growing up to do. If she's living with you - this is something you took on. She needs to learn how to deal with him as do you. The first year is the hardest...ALWAYS...

She can put him in a bouncy seat. She can put him in the bassinet or crib. But really? You CANNOT spoil an infant and 3 months is an infant....

Guess you are going to have to learn to adapt, improvise and overcome...sorry..but you cannot spoil a baby.

14 moms found this helpful

I'm a HUGE supporter of not spoiling a child, of CIO and not giving in to tantrums.

Let her hold him.

Because the first 3-4 months the baby is still developing it's brain and other organs that would have been too large to pass through the birth canal unless delivered "early" at 40ish weeks and not 60ish weeks.

These first 3-4 months are kind of a 4th trimester (should be able to google that, it's some Dr's terminology). We are totally "on demand" and holding our babies until about 4 months old.

And right about then, the vibrating swing and bouncy chair they've been sleeping in go away, and they transition easily to not being held all the time, sleeping on their own and not being quite so "needy".

Besides - not your kid.
__________________________
forgot - two solutions.

1) you hold the baby while she does her thing
2) Baby carrier

13 moms found this helpful

This is a good parenting technique that lots of parents like. I know several who wear their baby 24/7 until the get older, maybe even a year old.

They feel that the mother baby bond is the most important thing they can do so they adjust their lifestyle to accommodate the baby on their chest.

I think it's called attachment parenting style. A lot of people feel it is something we have gotten far far far away from and need to return to.

I had to work when my daughter was small so I didn't even have this opportunity. If the mom is fine with this then she needs to be allowed to parent the way she feels best.

12 moms found this helpful

When my babies were three months old I held them a lot too. Even while I did housework and cleaned. Doesn't she have a sling or wrap? Hell, even in the poorest parts of Africa, where they have to CARRY ALL OF THEIR DRINKING WATER FROM A WELL, they can manage that.
Babies like to be held, it's called bonding not spoiling. And in no way does it stop a mom from doing most of what she needs to get done.
Sounds like both sides here are making excuses :(

12 moms found this helpful

I haven't read the other responses but I think the older people in this girl's life should be thrilled she is so involved with and connected to her baby. Sounds to me like she is listening to her heart, her new Mom's intuition and doing what's right.

I was a much older new Momma at 30 years old and I did pretty much the same thing with both my girls. They are now lovely, smart, responsible young ladies and not spoiled in the least. Get that girl a baby carrier, hold him for her for more than 10 minutes a day and help her to learn to let him cry a bit if there is something REALLY urgent to attend to. Then wait, just a few months probably. That baby will grow out of the "please hold me all the time phase" into another equally overwhelming and sweet phase that she will have to deal with in her own way as a very young Mom.

Don't forget to tell her that she's doing a GREAT job once in a while, she really is just a little girl herself.

11 moms found this helpful

The baby is only 3 months old! Let her hug and love on her baby without feeling judged.
Laura

11 moms found this helpful

You can't spoil a baby that little. 3 months ago, that baby was being held 24/7 inside his mommy.

11 moms found this helpful

Can't spoil a baby. This is the only time in their lives when humans should be absolutely held and loved. She'll start to put him down when she's exhausted. My daughter didn't want to be away from me -- I found letting her sleep in her car seat helped because it cradled her. But babies aren't spoiled. A child who is spoiled deliberately misbehaves to get her way. Babies don't misbehave because they are incapable of knowing limits.

10 moms found this helpful

I don' think the baby is spoiled. He's doing exactly what he should be doing, and his mother is doing the right thing by holding him as much as possible. That being said, she DOES need to figure out a way to hold him while accomplishing simple tasks, like cleaning her room. She would probably benefit from a good baby carrier so that she can wear him and leave her hands free. If she can't afford to buy one, perhaps she can post a "Wanted" ad on Freecycle, or Craigslist to try to get one for free.

Does she have a swing or a vibrating bouncy chair for him? Those 2 devices are the only things that allowed me to bathe when my babies were young.

10 moms found this helpful

The baby is not spoiled, the mom is.
There is nothing wrong with letting a baby cry while you take a shower, do dishes, or any other stuff that needs to be done.

10 moms found this helpful

No such thing as a spoiled baby.

9 moms found this helpful

Holding a baby is not spoiling. In many cultures they do hold their babies all the time, or have them strapped to them. Those babies grow up just fine. In China, babies don't crawl, they are held and carried until they can walk. The reasoning is, floors are dirty and one would not place a baby down to crawl on a dirty surface.

Your cousin just needs to figure out a way to balance her responsibilities with her baby.

9 moms found this helpful

My son was like her baby! He was held all the time. I could not even take a shower longer than a minute. I would put him in the bouncy chair right in front of the shower and he would start screaming almost immediately. Sometime I had to leave the shampoo in my hair and calm him down (he was a newborn) and then get back in and take showers in segments! Unless I wanted to not shower yet another day. Some babies are just more fussy than others and you cannot spoil a baby, not even a 3 month old baby. What she is practicing is attachment parenting and it is a good thing. Let her hold him or let him cry, she only has 2 options.

9 moms found this helpful

Her baby is NOT spoiled! She sounds like a wonderful mother. Her baby will be loved, secure, and confident.

If holder her baby is interfering with her ability to do other things SHE needs to do (like clean her room), a good idea would be for her to get a sling or carrier that will let her have her hands free while baby is on her so that she can do both.

Carriers can be expensive, but Infantio is sold at lots of stores (Target, Walmart etc) and they make versions of most of the same styles as more expensive brands. This one caught my eye because it's cut like an Ergo which is ideal for baby's hips. http://www.target.com/p/infantino-union-baby-carrier-grey...

Hope this helps.
T.

8 moms found this helpful

wow that baby is spoiled rotten. how dare she?
on the other hand, kudos to her, so young and yet so in tune with mommyhood.

8 moms found this helpful

The baby won't want to be held forever. It is healthy for them to be held a lot at this age...it is not spoiling. Buy her a baby carrier so that she can have the baby on her chest and still have her hands free for getting work done. That was what we did.

8 moms found this helpful

Wow... your cousin sounds like me. I was 36 when I had my son, had about 15 years of working with kids behind me... My son was packed and carried constantly. He needed me and I needed to be able to hold him when he needed this. My son lived in the pack until he was at least one, and I was able to get a lot done, so do consider helping her in this way. You can't cook with one on, but once he's big enough to go on her back, she'll be able to get a lot done this way.

Per the usual growth and development stages of babies-- at three months, babies get *super* fussy. They need secure and familiar arms to hold him. Please trust me-- we are wired for this stuff, biologically. Your cousin knows her baby and knows that at three months old, he needs her presence. At this age, he has NO sense of object permanence-- zero. So if she sets him down and goes out of the room, his little brain thinks "my food and safety have disappeared! RED ALERT!" because this is how babies brains are wired. He does not have the capability to reason "OH, Mama's got something else to do now, she'll be back for me later". His crying is a survival technique, not something he does to manipulate or irritate.

So, here's your answer-- no, you cannot 'unspoil' a baby who simply isn't being spoiled. If she's still packing him around constantly in a year, and he's still screaming every time he's put down, then do ask for help. THEN, he and mom may need with some separation (because then he's going to be interested in crawling, walking, etc.) For now, he's interested in staying alive, and doing precisely what his biology needs him to do.

And for what it's worth, my son is now five and no one would ever accuse him of being spoiled. He got loved up a lot in the beginning, and is now a safe and secure kid who has a lot of trust in his parents, who he knows can meet his needs....because we've been doing it all along.

8 moms found this helpful

I agree--you can't spoil a baby that little. My first needed to be held all the time, and it turns out she did have reflux. I agree with the sling idea. Also, a baby swing can make some babies happy for a bit. I do think she could get him down while sleeping if she waited until he was floppy though. In any case, it'll get better soon--it's not long before they're crawling, walking, and hating to be held! You might suggest some tummy time to work towards those eventual goals.

7 moms found this helpful

This was me when I had my oldest, so I completely sympathise with your cousin. It wasn't that I was spoiled or trying to get out of my "domestic responsibilities," as several posters have said. I was overwhelmed and just did not know how else to be a mom.

I had friends also suggest "wearing" my son. I tried. I'm sure I could have tried different types of slings, but honestly, he didn't like anything I tried.

Both my kids did like the swing! Often times I would put them in the swing at naptime and actually get some housework done. It didn't work everyday, but it did work some days!

I would just keep trying things - wearing the baby, the swing, a bouncy seat. As the baby gets a little bigger she can try an activity gym, where you put baby down on a blanket on the floor with the gym above baby's chest. When she's big enough to hold her head, she can try an exersaucer.

Take a trip to Babies R Us to get some ideas. You don't have to buy anything there. Most of the stuff I used was there a hand-me-down or something I bought at a garage sale or on Craig's List. In fact, I sold most of it on Craig's List.

Good luck, but most of all, know that she is not spoiled and the baby is not spoiled. They are just learning their way.

7 moms found this helpful

I hope you are taking in all the advice given. I find most people who think that holding a baby "spoils" are really stubborn and refuse to see reason about it. The truth is that you can't spoil a baby, and you shouldn't make her feel bad about holding the baby all day and all night. She's being a good mommy!

She can use a baby sling, such as a Moby wrap, to free up her hands, but please, please listen to all the smart people here who say that you can't spoil a baby.

Does your cousin live with you? Is that why you asked her to clean her room? If she doesn't live with you, then back off on the cleaning thing.

7 moms found this helpful

She is not spoiling him. He is at a developmental stage where he needs the comfort.

BUT - She can put him down for a few minutes while she cleans, so she's using that as an excuse to not do stuff. She can talk to him while she cleans, etc., so that he knows she's there. She can hold him when she wants to because she loves him, BUT she CAN'T use him as an excuse to not do her responsibilities. THAT is the real issue.

My favorite baby carrier - ergobabycarrier.com - can carry front or back and up to 50lbs. She could wear him on her back while cleaning. It's very comfortable and easy to put on. It's a bit pricy, but lasts for YEARS.

ADD: on the extreme side of not holding a child enough, there were studies done on children who were not held - they failed to thrive. I realize that this is the extreme, but in the case of infants, a healthy amount of holding and contact is better than the opposite. She needs to balance the two.

7 moms found this helpful

It sounds like the issue is not that she holds him so much per se but that she doesn't get anything else done. Not when he's sleeping, etc. She can wear him in a wrap or sling and get things done, or put him in a swing or swaddle him so he can sleep on his own. I wouldn't call a newborn spoiled rotten. I'd just say it's a matter of her learning how to juggle his needs and her responsibilities.

7 moms found this helpful

I waited almost 10 years for my second baby. Too long. When she finally arrived, I think it was months before I ever let her out of my arms. I wish I could "spoil" another baby like that. I have to wait for grandchildren at this point. I don't think your cousin is spoiling anything. Eventually he'll get tired of being held and she'll put him down.

7 moms found this helpful

you really can't spoil a baby. babies just like to be held.
that being said, i know mine didn't get held 24/7. i held them a lot, wore them a fair bit, and set 'em down when i needed to. sometimes they hollered, but usually not. maybe i was just lucky.
but this girl needs to learn to handle her baby without escaping basic responsibilities like cleaning her room.
does she live with you? if so, you can insist she either get a baby wrap and wear him while she cleans, or help her learn how to acclimate if baby fusses when he's put down for brief periods. but unless you have skin in the game, it's really not up to you. she's young, but she's the mom, and gets to parent how she sees fit.
khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

You can not spoil a baby this young. It just isn't possible. She doesn't have to put her entire existence on hold because she's holding her baby though... Good grief.
To be fair, her baby may have something like colic or gastric reflux going on that is making him cry more than other babies do. I would start there. Otherwise, babies have no other way to communicate than through crying... so they do... about whatever they need. This doesn't mean that they MUST be held night and day and that a mother can't do anything else. If she's having trouble with the idea of putting him down, have her get a sling and "wear" him while she clean her room. There are options...

But please... the baby is not spoiled and you have about another 6-9 months to worry about that. She need to find some balance.

6 moms found this helpful

I haven't read other answers so sorry if I repeat. You can't spoil a newborn. Babies are not 'manipulative' (ie cry on purpose for attention etc) until they are at least six months old.
If it's a case of the mother not realising that her baby will be OK for a while (even if the babe cries) being placed in their bassinet while she has a shower or a cup of tea, then sit down and have a good persuasive chat to her. Ask her what she thinks will happen if she puts her baby down for a few minutes. Remind her that her baby is safe, healthy, fed and close, and that nothing bad will happen.

6 moms found this helpful

I would Google "attachment parenting" and "baby-wearing" for more information, and then maybe you will see that not only can you not spoil a baby this young, but what she is doing is a good thing. As long she is going about safely, and not inadvertently putting the baby in harm's way, I wouldn't be so critical of her choices. At the same time, she can realize that baby crying for a while is not going to cause him any harm and it's not the end of the world if he does. A swing or bouncy seat can help. She can also look into different baby slings and carriers that will allow her to carry the baby and keep her hands free for other tasks. Some babies are also more "high needs" than others and have more intense personalities, so it takes a lot more hands-on time and comforting to keep them content.

5 moms found this helpful

This is a huge pet peeve of mine, I do not believe a baby that small can be spoiled. If a baby cries and needs to be held it is for a reason!! Colic, reflux, something must be bothering him. I say if she doesn't mind holding him, and she isn't passing her responsibility on you or others, then I don't see how it is a problem. I think it would be more of a problem if she refused to care for her baby, and left him to scream all day and night. I would be more interested in helping her find ways to help him to feel content. Maybe he needs a formula change, or to be swaddled, etc. She's the mom so let her make the decisions on how she is going to care for her baby.

5 moms found this helpful

The baby isn't spoiled. The baby is just mirroring what the mom has done. Can you see the difference? You can't actually spoil a 3 month old.

Your young cousin will either have to decide that she is tired of holding the baby all the time and find out the best way to change things without driving herself and the baby nuts, or she will keep holding the baby. I hope that she decides she is tired of it.

Has she asked you for advice? If she hasn't, she may not want to stop holding baby because she's enjoying it. If she does want help, then I will give you my advice and you can share it. In fact, I recommend that you have her read ALL of these posts.

First, she puts a blanket down in the floor and lays baby on the blanket, and sits on the floor with baby. That way they are together without her holding her. If baby cries, she can put her hand on her tummy. She should talk to baby nicely, sing, coo, etc. There are toys that hang over a baby when they lie down - the baby can reach up and touch the toys and they move. This is very interesting to a baby and will help baby forget that she is not being held. As baby gets used to mommy laying her on the floor on a warm, soft blanket, Mommy can walk away and start doing things that she needs to do. Mommy can talk to baby while she walks around.

There are also bouncies that you lay a baby in and strap them up - the bouncies hold the babies up like a 45 degree angle. She can put the baby in the bouncie on the table or kitchen counter, safely away from anything that could hurt, and not near an edge. She can move the bouncie up and down while talking to the baby - babies like swaying type of movements. A baby swing is ALSO a great way to stop holding baby - it is safe and can be set to swing a little or a little more, slowly or a little quicker.

Playing music and singing is great. Putting soft toys made for little hands that will go into her mouth is another great way to teach her not to want to be held all the time.

As she gets older, she will need "tummy time". This is when she is able to pick up her own head. Little toys in front of her to pique her interest will help.

Share all this with her. She has a lot of learning to do on how to raise a baby. Holding the baby all the time will actually hurt the babies developmental growth because they need to actually HAVE to move themselves in order to achieve developmental milestones like pulling themselves up, holding up their heads as their neck muscles strengthen, turning over, creeping, crawling, and finally, walking.

She sounds like a loving mom and that is wonderful. There are young moms who let their babies lay in their cribs all the time screaming while they sit and watch TV. Thank God your cousin isn't like this. But she just has to learn HOW to get baby used to not being in her arms, and what I'm telling you about will help.

Just to let you know, babies do NOT understand that an adult will come back after they leave. It takes a while for the brain to develop in order for a baby to understand that. That's why we play Peek-a-Boo with babies so that they realize that just because they can't see something or someone, it doesn't mean that they are gone for good. Make sense?

So, the baby isn't spoiled. The baby is used to what she has been doing. She just needs to help the baby get used to something else. Baby WILL cry, but if she comes back and goes while doing her work, sings and talks, gives baby something to look at and touch, sits with baby when baby ISN'T crying so that baby doesn't think she always has to cry to get Mommy, then baby will finally get used to not being held all the time. You all should do the same things, Lolli. But don't stop holding her all at once. Three month olds still need to be held a lot.

Good luck to you all so that your cousin can clean her room!! LOL!

D.

5 moms found this helpful

start laying him down, let him fuss for 5 minutes if he needs too. if he is full out crying sit next to him and sing and rub his tummy so he knows you are there.

5 moms found this helpful

You can't spoil a baby. You can spoil an ADULT. She needs to grow up and do what you say. If you tell her to clean her room--she needs to. How in the world is she going to parent if she can't keep her room clean?

One suggestion, get her a front-pack carrier to keep the baby in so she can use her hands to do other things but still gives the baby the comfort he/she needs.

5 moms found this helpful

Up to 6 months, there IS no spoiling a baby.
They thrive from being held as much as possible.
A sling carrier might help free up her hands a bit so she can get some things done while wearing him.
When he's 7 months she can start letting him cry it out a bit when she needs to put him down more than she is now.
On the bright side, she doesn't have to worry about his head being flat on a side!
All the holding prevents that from happening.

5 moms found this helpful

Get her a baby sling so she can wear the baby and free up her hands at the same time.

You can not really spoil a baby until they are much older than three months. Sleep training isn't even recommended until six months...and that is only if you believe in it and HAVE READ THE BOOK by Dr. Ferber...not just guessed at the best way to "cry it out".

Good luck...

4 moms found this helpful

My babies were like this as well. The baby carriers didn't work very well for me, I think because I am very short and short waisted. I had to get them to nap (not in my arms) to get anything done. In the mornings if I put them in the bouncy chair in the bathroom while I showered they would often fall asleep, and I could leave them there while I did my grooming and some housework. In the afternoons I could put them in the stroller and go for a long walk. They would fall asleep in the stroller, and I could park the stroller right inside the front door and do housework or start dinner. Car rides also worked. I could take them for a drive until they fell asleep and leave them in the carseat in the garage with the baby monitor. They both eventually started napping on their own in their cribs, but they until then this was what I had to do in order to have time to get anything done. I look after babies at the Y, and most babies respond well to the motion of the stroller. They can be screaming their lungs out, but stop as soon as the stroller starts to move.

4 moms found this helpful

I think hes a lucky baby to get so much love. Get her a sling or baby carrier and she can hold him all day and still get her cleaning done. And if shes co-sleeping she should put her mattress on the floor for safety. What a good mama, especially for a teen.

Baby does need some tummy time at this age, I would be more worried about that and not that hes spoiled. Does she have any parenting books? I would start with what to expect, baby and the new edition of the Dr. Spock baby book. These can give her some ideas of activities to.do.with baby.

2 moms found this helpful

Well, first the practical tips on how-to address the problems it's causing in the house. I remember being pretty exhausted when my baby was 3 months - in fact much longer than that! I was up at all hours of the night, and I often caught up on sleep when the baby was sleeping in the middle of the day.

One lifesaver was an extremely comfortable, cushiony, reclining baby swing that allowed him to sleep while I did other things. I nursed him to sleep on one of those swaddling blankets, and about 10 minutes after he was asleep, I could very carefully transfer him to the swing. The trick was to keep the the same warm blanket there, so he didn't notice the not-as-warm swing - then graaaadually get the swing going. It kept him zonked out for long stretches (so long my husband started to worry if there was any danger in being rocked that long. There isn't.)

Using a baby sling was also very useful - I could bustle about hands-free while he napped against me. Baby Bjorns (upright carriers) are also useful, but slings seem to be better for sleeping in.

Now, about the "spoiling" bit - and I know folks have given you an earful on this, but mostly it was verbals reprimands - nothing based on objective research which would lend a little more authenticity to the claims. "Spoiled" implies a distinction between an infant's "unreasonable desires" and their "needs". However, there is no such legitimate distinction for infants. A baby's "wants" and "needs" are the same thing (at least according to Dr. Sears, among others). You can quibble about "biological needs" for food and "psychological needs" for human touch and physical comforting. A crying baby is expressing his needs, and a mother's instinct to respond to him is a healthy reaction. It sounds like this is a very lucky baby and this mother, although very young, is doing well by him. So the bedroom is messy; the baby is being nurtured, and that's a bigger priority.

It's interesting to note that in some cultures, there is a "ground-touching" ceremony when a baby reaches about 6 months old where they are put down on the ground for the first time -- for the first 6 months it is assumed that they are continuously being held in someone's arms or in a sling, or they are resting next to their mother. (Meredith Small: Our Babies, Ourselves.)

Our culture for many decades has over-emphasized this myth of "baby-spoiling" and "holding the baby too much." A few generations ago, mothers were told not to pick up the baby too much because their bones were too soft! Then told that they baby would get "used to" being held (as if that were somehow bad. But now, Neurologists KNOW that physical human contact, touching a baby, holding a baby, caressing or massaging a baby is one of the easiest ways to stimulate the myelination of the dendrites (crucial to very early brain development.) (Lise Eliot, author of What's Going on in There: How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Fiver Years of Life") Ms. Eliot states that "Benefits of Early Touch:
- Essential to sensory motor development, physical
growth, emotional well-being, cognitive potential
and overall health
- Premature babies are benefited by massage
therapy
- Touch is one of the easiest ways of molding
emotional and mental well-being"

http://kronkosky.org/research/Book_Reviews/WhatsGoingOnIn...

I hope I don't come off as some smarty-pants know-it-all. I just wanted to reference where I got my information, so it doesn't sound like just my opinion.

2 moms found this helpful

She can't, he will cry for a while. Sounds like she's living under your roof? Do you have children? What's the whole story? Where are her parents? You will probably have to have a serious sit down with this young mother and explain to her that what she is doing is not good for the baby, her, or the family she's staying with. She needs to take some parenting classes and/or get some books from the library.

2 moms found this helpful

Buy or make a baby sling for her.

2 moms found this helpful

I guess I'm no help because I held my babies and carried them around a lot. I would do dishes and laundry holding them (and no I could never figure out those silly carriers). Up to a year I did this. My back started to hurt...I felt guilty but I simply had to put them down some. And we have four kids so I was always holding one. And if I needed to do something I'd want someone to hold him, lol.

With my first I held or talked to him nearly 24/7, but the others I only interacted with when they were awake (because I was chasing a toddler!).

Which is fine... a sleeping baby doesn't need the constant foreign language I'd speak to my first born. It's just he was all I had at the time so I was bored when he slept! :) As each kid was born he/she was literally gated off in a corner of the room (for his safety from the current toddler) and left to himself IF he was asleep. Made me feel a little guilty, but he was asleep after all. And by baby #4 when he was awake, he had TONS of stimulation with his siblings!

The baby will soon start to get interested in simple toys/rattles, so he/she should be fine exploring alone without being held all day and night.