November 26, 2006,
K.C. asks from Palm Harbor, FL on November 18, 2006
How to Tell My Kids I'm Pregnant
I have three children, twin nine year old girls and an eleven year old son. I am a single mother and I just found out on Halloween that I'm pregnant. I was on the pill so my boyfriend and I were shocked, to say the least. I have been contemplating on how and when to tell my children. Obviously I can't keep it a secret for much longer so I am feeling stressed thinking of what they will say and the questions they will have. If you have been in a similar situation or have any advice, please let me know. Thanks.
1 mom found this helpful
T.S. answers from Tampa on November 20, 2006
If you can wait another month or so (and if you celebrate Christmas), you could give them some kind of gift that makes it known that a baby is on the way (for example, maybe get them all shirts that have something to do with being a big brother/sister). Or, when you are all hanging up your stockings, have a tiny one on hand and hang it up next to theirs. When they ask what it is for, tell them it is for their little brother or sister.
1 mom found this helpful
F.R. answers from Pensacola on November 20, 2006
Wait until your own shock is worn off a little before telling them. Every child is a blessing. For some reason you were meant to become pregnant and once you come over to the positive side of it, you'll be more apt to share that side with your children.
All kids have questions about everything. Answer them with just enough information as you feel necessary. They don't need to know every detail. They're not grown-ups and shouldn't have to deal with grown-up issues. So this wasn't planned, but it happened. You can tell them that, but try not to say that you made a mistake by getting pregnant. You don't want them to see the new sibling as something that wasn't wanted. Even if you were trying to avoid having more.
Try to destress yourself. Hard to do when faced with a difficult situation, but you should take a little break and regroup. Decide what, if anything, you want to do and what you need to do before the baby comes and come to terms with your mommy days not ending any time soon. Here comes more diapers, bottles, onesies and the greatest smell on earth "new baby". You handled yourself with twins, you can totally do this again!
Plus, they're old enough to get excited with you when picking out names and cribs and all the stuff that goes along with being a big brother and sister. And they won't get jealous of you having to spend so much time with a newborn. There are perks! I hope that you can see them.
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C.A. answers from Tampa on November 20, 2006
I agree with Faith. Make sure that you are in a good place (dealing with the pregnancy) before sharing with your other children. I have a 9 year old, so I know how perceptive they can be. They will pick-up on your attitude and carry it forward.
I'm not sure if you are religious or how you have dealt with the issue of babies, but I always told my children that a married couple prayed for a baby and if they were lucky, God blessed them with one. In my opinion, it's not the whole story, but something I won't have to recant later. My 9 year old is picking up on more that we are willing to admit, so I'm not sure if you can go the same route? A relative was in a similar situation as yours (unplanned pregnancy with her boyfriend). I told my children that sometimes God also surprises some couples. They took it very well and were happy for her.
I'm sure that your children will be excited to tell their classmates that they are going to be a big brother or big sister. Plus, this time around, you'll have 3 helpers and in a few years... babysitters :)
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
K.H. answers from Jacksonville on November 26, 2006
I like the idea of the Christmas presents. I think that your children will be thrilled at the idea. Especially your girls. You should, however, let them know that if they have any concerns they should come to you. Let them know that you will be very understanding of their feelings (even though your hormones will tell you not to be) and will not get angry with them for having questions or concerns. Congratulations, what a blessing it is no matter how unplanned. Someone has a plan for you and this child. You will know what it is soon enough. Enjoy!!!