How to Tell Everyone?

However you decide, wait a bit until you're sure everything is ok. Not because of your age, but anyone can have a miscarriage and I speak experience when I say it's not fun to have to tell people about it after they already know you were expecting. Wait a while so you can think of a clever way! And good luck!!

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Wow!! Congratulations!! And oh, is your life about to change... I, too, have what I lovingly call my going away gift/only child with two big brothers. I was 39 with two sons - 15 and 11 (also very special gifts). My husband, also 39, died from a massive heart attack right before Christmas. My boys had just returned to school following the funeral and holidays when I found out I was pregnant again. I planned to wait until the weekend to tell them about the pregnancy - give them a couple of days to adjust to the news. But, that decision was not mine to make. Stress caused some spotting and I thought I was miscarrying. My youngest son was already home from school when my oldest came in from football practice. I was visibly upset and my neighbor/best friend was at my house. My oldest knew something was up, so he asked me what was wrong. I had to tell him I was pregnant but I could be losing the baby. He had mixed emotions immediately following my announcement because he felt like I was keeping secrets from them. He was scared and concerned about losing me too. That didn't last long though. Once everything settled and my doctor assured me everything was okay, he got excited about the pregnancy. The youngest one just thought it was cool that I was pregnant. They told everybody we were having a baby. They even started a contest to name the baby. Fortunately, it was a girl and their father had selected a girl's name many years before just in case he ever got his "little princess". The oldest son called her his "chick magnet" since the girls all loved her. He even took her out on the football field when he was a senior in high school and it was family day. Normally it's just the parents who walk out with their son, but he carried her as he escorted me. To this day, the community remembers that game. My sons absolutely love their sister. Now, at 29, 25 and 13, they worry about her and try to do as much as they can to make sure she has that "fatherly influence". Sometimes she likes it and other times she hates it, but she knows they love her. And, yes, when she was a baby, I was mistaken for the grandmother when my oldest son and his girlfriend were with us. It happens but it's okay. My daughter is a ton of fun and she keeps me young. So, from experience, tell you children NOW. Don't fret and worry, just sit them down and tell them - sort of like pulling off the band-aid. Just say it. They deserve to know and need to be included in the experience as much as possible. And you will need their support, especially as things progress. If immediate family lives close by, you should probably tell them now too. If you really want to, wait a little bit to tell your friends. True friends will celebrate the occassion. Just know that once the kids know, word will travel like wild fire. And when you move into maturnity clothes, it's too late to worry about it who you haven't told. Savor the experience and don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy each flutter and kick. Share it all with your children. They might act shocked, or even grossed out (gee Mom, you and Dad still do THAT!!??), but it's all just an act. They're really curious and want to be included. And please, like others have said, don't use them for built in babysitters. I'm sure they'll help, but this is your child, not theirs. Let them still be kids. Congrats again. Be healthy and happy!!

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Congratulations. I'm sure everyone will be thrilled. I had my first child at almost 38. Now you will have experience being a young mommy and a mature mommy. But if I were you, I would wait until after the first trimester. I've had two miscarriages at my age and regretfully told everyone too soon. Be healthy and be happy!!!

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I know EXACTLY how you feel. My daughter and son are 17 years apart. (My son will be 2 in December). I told my daughter first and aside from the fact that she kept saying "but you'll be 40!" (like I was too old to have sex - LOL) she was absolutely fine with it. She is the BEST big sister and my son absolutely adores her. My family was generally happy for us too. It was a little harder with our friends though. They just couldn't imagine being that "old" and having a child - especially since my daughter was practically grown. We just sat our friends down, told them we were expecting and let them know how excited we were. You're real friends will be excited for you. Yes, they may poke fun at you now and then but if the shoe was on the other foot, you may have poked fun at them too. Don't worry about telling people, let your excitement show and they will take their cue from that. Keep in mind that MANY women are having babies in their late 30's and early 40's these days so you are not a freak. (I felt like one for awhile and thought everyone else looked at me that way as well) Congrats to you and your husband & enjoy that little one when he/she comes!!

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My mom had my sister when I was 19 and my brother was 20. My mom was 41 when she found out she was pregnant. The funny thing is, my brother and I were just under a year apart, I was March 7, he was March 10, and our "baby" sister was born on March 9. I was very close with her when she was little, but she is 17 now, and I am 36 and married with my own children, so we are not as close. There are times when I feel more like a second mom to her, and wonder if I need to back off and let my mom deal with her teenage attitude. I love my little sister, and worry so much about her because of her age. I guess she is lucky, even though she doesn't see it, to have the extra adults in her life to help guide her. I think your kids will be excited. They will have a whole new person to love. Hope that helps!

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Hello M.! I am a mom to 4 girls. 19, 17, 15 and 2!!!! I was a little embarrassed to tell my girls but I just did! I had 3 miscarriages before I had my baby girl and you wouldnt believe how many people say oops! when I say their ages and I tell them actually NO she was VERY wanted! shuts them right up! Good luck and enjoy the baby!!! My teens are actually incredibly helpful with my little one and love her to death! shes super spoiled! BTW I am 42 and had her at 40!

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Thats funny. I am 39 and have a 17, 11, and now a 2 yr old. Your life IS about to change and so you will need trememdous support. I dont mean that people have to come over and constantly help, but you will need folks for emotional support. I had PPD sooooo bad with my last and I almost threw him in the pool. So dont worry about How to tell folks SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS !!! Just mainly be sure to surround yourself with good people who love and care about you and can support your emotional needs. Thats whats important. Good Luck, congratulations, and HEALTHY BABY to you.

P.S. And when the baby gets here, dont sweat it when you go out and people look at your 16 year old and say is that your baby. We get that alot. I was pissed at first but as i look around there are so many teens out there with babies and its terrible. There are even preggos walking around my daughters school. Unfortunately its just the way the world is. People are more used to seeing teen moms more than well established, smart, mature moms who can actually support a baby.

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Congrats! I'm 39 too and would love to have another one too. Just tell them and be happy. Hopefully, they will be supportive.

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You are adorable! Have fun telling them!!! Tee Hee! Its your precious gift! Im a first time mommy at 39.. Im freekin 40 now with a 15 month old! Just be honest, always, with yourself especially! Stay healthy and dont stress about others feelings.... love that baby!

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My mom had a healthy, beautiful (ten pound!) girl when I was sixteen, my brother was thirteen and my other sister was ten. My mom was 42, by the way!

I, at least, kind of knew already because it was summer vacation and I'd heard my mom on the phone with the doctor's office. But she got a cupcake and put five candles in it and lit them, then added one more and said we are going to have someone new to share our love with.

We loved it! And so did all her friends--she had the best baby showers because most of them hadn't had excuses to buy baby stuff for years :-) It got to be a pain when she was due and all our friends kept asking at school, and it was a bit weird when my brother and I took the baby out and people thought she was OURS, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. I'm still very close to my sister, who is a junior in college now.

As a mom, I would try to avoid telling the world until twelve weeks--I know I did with my pregnancies. I also wouldn't let anyone tell you "what you need to do" because this is a later pregnancy. You don't HAVE to do anything differently--just be as healthy and responsible as you ordinarily would. (I'm saying that as a mom who was automatically signed up for amniocentesis, which neither my doctor or I asked for, just because I was about to turn 35).

Mostly, enjoy! Have a beautiful, happy pregnancy and birth!

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Cograts! I am sure the kids will take it better than you think, hey you might even be "cool"!. You will be the "mature mom" and because you have been there, done that, you are only the wiser. You get to experience it all over again and use some of the new stuff that will make you wonder how you raised the older ones without it! Have fun enjoy being pregnant and tell immediate first then family when you are over the 12 weeks tell your friends. Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away, you can always make a HUGE plate and tell them you are eating for "two" and see who catches on!

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congrats!
I had my 3rd at 41 - what a blessing.
Have fun with telling them - write it on a cake or buy them big brother/ big sister shirts.
They may be wierded out at first but they will be thrilled in the long run!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,

First let me say congratulations. You didn't mention if you were trying for this baby or not, but by the tone I am guessing it was a suprise.

I was where you are five years ago, only my girls were 18, 20 and 21 when their newest little sister was born. I also had two grandchildren who were born less than a year before my now youngest daughter!

Just tell them. "Guess what? I am going to have another baby!". Reactions will be varied, and first reactions will NOT be the last reaction. It will all turn out fine :)

Tell the teenagers at home where they can have a full reaction, time and space to absorb it, and you can freely discuss it. Remember they are on a hormonal roller coaster too. It may be fine one minute, not fine the next, and fine again later. In the end they will be fine with it as long as you are not using them as built in baby sitters or making them help care for the child when they don't want to. Just remember you chose to have another baby, they didn't, it's not their responsibility.

ENJOY!

1 mom found this helpful

M.,

Having a baby is a wonderful thing. I would think your family and friends would be happy about that. It's your life. They don't determine how you are going to feed, clothe them etc. I know you are probably worried about your age, how they are going to respond, your teenagers probably thinking another little one to worry about, but I think it should not matter what - It is your decision to have another one. Society put these pressures on us about dates and times, that it becomes frustrating. At what age did we do this, when did yours do that, how old were you this and that...If you celebrate it then they will too. If you put a downer on it like it's a bad thing, then they will begin to do so too and talk about it negatively. I personally think your teenagers would love to have a new baby around to spoil...

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I think that this is wonderful. Tell everyone today.
PLEASE - PLEASE - PLEASE - be real careful of the swine flu.

I don't even know how you can hold it in any longer.

This is what I would do, I would go to Wal-Mart and get a toy rattle and put it in a gift bag and then I would get my video camera and ask all of the family to gather in the living room, I would ask my husband to please open the bag "I would film the whole thing".

Whatever will be, will be.

I know that you did not plan for this to happen, but remember that children are a gift from God. This is a blessing not a problem.

Have a wonderful life.
Take care and please let us know what happened.

= )

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You are not alone. I had an 18 year old and a 13 year old when I became pregnant with my now 8 year old daughter. I was embarassed and afraid to tell anyone. I was single and 42 with a very respectable job. Ultimately I worried for nothing. Everyone but my mother was very supportive and she finally came around. This precious daughter of mine was a Godsend. You child will be too. Keep your head up and appreciate the gifts that God sends your way. Your kids will help too. Don't worry and good luck.

A.

Do it like the Progressive Commercial. Imagine, her hands up in air with eyes huge and excited.

" Surprise! Guess what!!? I'm Pregnant!!! "

Honestly, your 39 years old. Why feel like you have to make excuses?

I'm willing to bet they will actually like the idea of having a baby in the house, especially the girl, at least as long as you don't make her your built in babysitter and dump off your responsibilities on her.

Hi M., Congratulations!!!!!
I wrapped a bib that said "I love my ___" for each family member individually and said nothing but I have a present for you. When they opened it their eyes lit up and we shared a wonderful moment together! I would recommend that to everyone!

M.,

I know there is more to this story, but remember...you are a grown woman, making grown-up decisions and in the end you have to live with only you...caring for you and your children. You can't worry about what others say and think...it won't be good for you or your unborn child. Give your teenagers more credit...they may be over joyed and extremely supportive/helpful.
Enjoy the blessings of bearing life...because there are some many other women that can not.

Well there is just no easy way, I got pregnant when my children were 10 and 12 and they did not even know I was dating and of course the man walked out on me as well. So there I was 33 single of mom of 3- My daughter hated it she is the youngest but my son was not so anti-baby. It took a while and even when the baby was born my daughter looked at him like who are you? But after 3 weeks I caught her crying in her room and I asked what happened she said she was asking God for forgiveness because she wished once that the baby would not be born and now she loved him so much she could not imagine life without him. The baby will be 3 years next month and there are ups and downs but this is how I deal with it. I tried to stay and continue to be there for my two oldest before the baby and I take time to do things with just them. A movie, a concert etc. Because the baby will get annoying: screaming, crying, whatever but at the end we are all a family and I love them ALL 3 the same and I make sure they KNOW it.
Now my parents well they were having a heart attach How could I ,.... etc but you know what NOW they are much older and my little one is their "last" grandchild and they adore him................and if they didn't well it was their loss.
So just gather people around (first your children who are the ones who will have to live with the baby) and start telling them you wish to have this child and you hope they will understand. Listen you can start nice but maybe you will have to put your foot down but guess what at the end everyone adjusts and they old ones will be going to college sooner than later.

What's to hide? You have a new life to gestate; and your teens have the capacity to understand how you are pregnant, the process of good nutrition, and the miracle of birth!
Hope you have a supportive husband and family. Besides, the teens will learn child care and perhaps hold off getting pregnant for a while.
Blessings

If you want the baby then just tell them. The quicker you do the better you will feel. If you wait then they will think you tried to hide it from them. Look at it as a gift from God and enjoy!

It will be hard at first but they will get over it. I was 16 when my Mom got pregnant. I resented her at first and was afraid I wouldn't be able to go to college because of the baby. Just let your kids know that things will be different, but they are still important. It will probably be great birth control for them! They will see first hand just how hard it is to have a baby. I just had my 1st child at 32.
I am more like a 2nd mother to my sister. I am glad that she can come to me about things she doesn't feel comfortable with telling our Mom. The funny thing is she is the same age that I was when my Mom got pregnant and she loves my son! She comes over every weekend to play with him. So we have bonded more now than we ever have. =)
Congrats on your new blessing! 39 is not old! You just started young!
Hope all goes well!