How to Teach Respect for Books

Hey C.,

In order not to confuse my guys - I've always treated all of their books very gently - even the board books. But thats just me. I didnt want to send a mixed message, because how is a 16 month old going to understand the difference between his board book and my John Steinbeck copy?

Anytime we handle books, or anytime they have one they are bringing to me, I speak the same way I speak when I see them carrying a plate of food or something delicate. They can learn to go easy on books the same way they learned to walk carefully with a glass of juice.

Good luck!

You are doing a great job actually. There are two things that are being taught at the moment. One is a love of books, which means handling them over and over (and yes, at this age abusing them) and learning to read. If they are told "NO" around books then they won't handle or read them. Try to catch them in the act of stepping on them and tell them that books are our friends and should not be stepped on, put them back on the shelf. Get them both in the routine of putting them away. They will get better about caring for them as they get older, trust me. =)

C.-

I share your opinion regarding the respect for books, regardless if they're board books or nicer books. We have them separated in our kids rooms as well. Now that our son is older (almost 4), he realizes that some are more special than others. And, he gets really upset when he checks out library books that someone else has ripped or colored on.

When we see our kids doing the same thing, we address it immediately and say that the books are not toys, and if they're not going to play nicely with them, we'll give the books to someone who will.

Both of our kids (2 and almost 4) love books, so taking them away would be catastrophic. However, there are some that just have gotten destroyed in the process of playing with them over the years, and I'd recommend that if you have any of those, put them in a special basket/container that they can play with a little more recklessly than the nicer books.

At the end of the day, though, I'd rather my kids get the books out (even if they batter them slightly) to instill the love of reading than to take them away all together.

Good luck.

i agree with marda. loosen up about the board books, that's what they're for. teach respect for the other books by treating them with respect, and removing them if they are mishandled. but remember they are kids. don't be too h*** o* them.

We always used the words, "soft and gentle". This applied to all books, for "just in case situations". We are a family of book lovers and they are everywhere in our houses. I did not want her to not understand that we do not play roughly with books.

You never know when a young child could get into other peoples books.

One of my daughters' kindy teacher had them make a little project called "This Is Mr. Book" - it was a photocopied set of pages folded in book form with stick figure illustrations that showed Mr. Book's happy facial expressions when kids are reading him and sad facial expressions when he gets pages that are torn, scribbled on, or sticky from dirty fingers, etc. I'll see if I can find it, but I thought it was a kid-friendly way of teaching proper care for books.

Take the books out of reach. Your 2 year old is not quite old enough, but your 4 year old is definitely old enough to understand how to treat a book. He should get a time out for treating a book (or any other toy) like that.

I agree with those who are teaching respect for all books, board, paperback & hardback. For me, I just started correcting my daughter around books from the time she was 9 months old, when we started reading board books to her. We keep all her books in her room on shelves while her toys are out in our living room. So reading time to her is special and sort of differentiated from playing time. I think that helps her behavior to be a little different around the books. Don't get me wrong, there have definitely been times when I've found her with all the books off the shelf around her. But I just gently let her know not to step on them, to help me put them back on the shelf, and to read "the one she was looking for." This approach hasn't discouraged her from wanting to read. I think as long as you're sure to take time each day to read to your kids, you'll be encouraging their love of books. I also would not do a check out system -- that sounds like a lot of work for you. I'd just separate the books from the toys somehow and stick with the correcting of behavior. Hope that helps a little.

If the board books are not being hurt when they are played with as toys, let them use them that way. It's a part of being creative. You are teaching them the difference by keeping nicer books for use with adults.

If some of the books are paper books and are being hurt put them on a different shelf and tell them that the rule for these books is that they are not to be on the floor unless they're reading them. Then follow thru and have them pick them up. Or keep them entirely separate from the toys. Put them in a different room or different part of the room, away from the toys.

Perhaps have a "library" corner and those books are only for "reading." Enforce the rule in the same way you enforce the rule that toys are to be treated with respect and not thrown or left out to be stepped on.

I think my grandchildren learned from seeing how their mother and I treat our books. They're 6 and 9 now, have a hundred or so books and thruout the years have torn perhaps 4 or 5. When they were little one of us usually sat with them and showed them how to turn pages. We didn't leave them alone with a book until they had shown that they knew how to treat them.

When I pause and think about it, I think the books that were torn were torn in anger by my grandson who has anger issues. We removed the book just as we would remove a toy. My granddaughter, when she was around 3, did tear a book in anger and I remember having her help me repair it with scotch tape. It was one of her favorites. I did not buy a new one, tho I wanted to do so. She read that repaired book for another year. I don't remember her tearing a book again.

We have a 29 month old girl and have told her from the beginning to be gentle with books. We also tell her that we only color/write on paper and NEVER in a book. We never give her magazines to shred (a magazine is no different than a book at this age).

Yes, the books do end up on the floor (after she made a huge pile and sat and read them all). But, everything else is also on the floor. We are in the learning stage of cleaning up after ourselves and this is to be expected. We do tell her not to walk on any of her toys or books and she does a decent job with this. I am 2 weeks from delivery of baby #2, so the floor stays a wreck longer than it used to. :)

I wouldn't do a book check out system. It will require you to handle one more thing and teach your kids that some books are off limits. As a teacher, I don't think that is the message you really want to send. Just remind your children when they are being rough, "We don't play rough with books, we want to keep them in good shape so we can read them as many times as we want to." Also, give them positive feedback when they are treating the books the right way and/or putting them back on the shelf.

You might want to make a sticker incentive chart for the oldest for when he puts his books (and other toys) back in place. Hope this helps!

I'm a new mom of an 8 month old so I can't say that I have any expertise in the matter at hand, but I'll offer my opinion. I think it's really important that kids feel like they have access to books and choices in books so having some that are "theirs" is great-- then any time they want a book they can have one. Having nicer ones set aside is also great, because some books (in the world of adults and kids both) are more fragile/special and need to be treated differently. After all, when they go to college they'll need to feel such ownership of books to make notes in the margins or highlight pages, etc.-- provided that we're not all completely digital by then ;-)

Anyway, they are old enough to be learning that they need to be gentle with animals and people, so why not books too? When you sit down to read one of the special books or get books from the library, you can talk to them about what makes this book different (maybe it could get ripped easily or the library books don't belong to them). When you notice that a book is being damaged or is being used in a way that is not appropriate, you could calmly have a conversation with them about what books are for and that treating books with respect will help make them last longer and increase the enjoyment (who wants to read a book that has been scribbled in with crayon?). If you haven't already, maybe you could arrange things in your home where there is a special reading area, so the books are less likely to be mixed in with toys and such? Maybe they are bored with some of those books and need new ones (thrift stores actually my have some in good condition) and then if they get news ones you can tell them that these are books, not toys, so if they need building blocks or whatever, they need to use what they have, not the books (and put the old books away for a while). Also, setting an example yourself of reading is always recommended-- ok, you might not have time to sit around reading your own book :-D but when you read to/with them, use a bookmark, maybe talk about how great the illustrations are, etc. (some people even like the way some books smell!) so they get another message about how special books are. I personally don't think a "check out" system at home is such a great idea because I think it might make them feel like books are not for them. But you can get them their own library cards and then go regularly (we went once a week when I was a kid) and have them check out books (5 each?). Tell them that they are responsible for them, just like they are with clothes or toys.

OK, I feel like I am starting to repeat myself a bit. Anyway, it's great that you want them to have books and enjoy them and want to teach them respect for them.

How old is your two your old? 24 months or almost 3. To me a young two year old may not be ready to be trusted with any book. Let her/him do what they will with hard baby books. I would keep very nice books up high if you are worried. If you make touching the books too carefully a big deal you may defeat the love of books. Let them love their books............occasionally a creative child may decide to add their own artwork to a book. You can teach your children the love of books, but I would keep beloved books at arms length for a few more years.

My 4 year old son loves books and is very gentle with books and I think it's because he's been taught the right way to handle them from birth. We have a huge library of board books and regular children's books (over 200) in his room on low shelves and there are only 2 board books which were "eaten" or torn when someone allowed that to happen. Board books are useful for stubby fingers to practise turning of pages without tearing them, not for playing with. If you make it a habit of reading everyday (bedtime stories are great ) and letting your kids choose the books to be read, they will develop a love for books.

I second those moms who suggest putting the books out of reach until your kids learn to respect books. Or if you can leave their books accessible in a room that is not the play room, and keep reinforcing the idea that they are not toys, that might help.