I come from a divorced family and my mother never discussed sex or anything else with me. I was witness to more than one girl in my class getting pregnant and I thought that was really hard because they just made their lives a lot more difficult. The girls in my class had great parental support but I was witness to the hardship they went through, such as forgoing college and getting married at 16. College was always a MAJOR part of my life plan.
My daughter (only child) is 13. Our deal is that we keep the lines of communication wide open at our house. Anything goes in conversation and stays between all of us.....me, dad and daughter. She knows she can asks us anything and we will tell her the truth. She can talk to either one us us about anything. College is a MAJOR part of her life plan as well. Her dad and I have always talked about the importance of education and there is no question as to IF she will go to college, it is WHERE she chooses to go. She already has her heart set on Dad's alma mater Duke and is studying hard in 8th grade to prepare for it.
She has spoken to us about girls who become pregnant and she told me not too long ago..........."Mom, I am not ready to take the chance that I might get pregnant because I have my life in front of me and I am not old enough or mature enough to be a mom yet".
We are a very open minded family. She sees us as a couple talking a lot, expressing views and not getting mad at each other or blaming one for being wrong, etc. No topic is out of bounds between the 3 of us. I will say that she is not into all the specific details (TMI... ) We simply talk until she says ok, that's enough for now.
So far, my daughter is not into the boy crazy scene. I have been around some of her friends who think of nothing but boys. My daughter is very socially involved with boy and girl friends....but just as friends, her cheerleading and orchestra.
Trust yourself that you have raised your daughter well and with good values, dreams and goals. Yes, accidents DO happen and if it were to happen to us, we would be supportive of our daughter and do everything possible to ensure that her child has a good life full of love, just as we will when she has her own family.
Best wishes to you. They do grow up WAY too fast!