21 answers

How to Stop Fighting with Husband?

My husband and I fight constantly. Never about anything serious though, What can I do everyday to ensure no arguing?? How can I stop the fighting and keep him happy?

We have a son whos 16 months old.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

It takes two to fight. you can always smile sweetly and say, "I love you too much to fight about this." and walk away.

4 moms found this helpful

negativity breeds negativity. Make a pact to be positive. It takes strength, but in the end it will become easy.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

It takes two to argue, right? Dont play into it. Think before you speak, start doing exactly the opposite of what you do now. If you start being nice, so will he. Dont tell him you are trying to be nice, just do it. I'm not sure what little things you are fighting over. If it's like he's leaving his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, just pick them up and throw them in the hamper without saying anything about it.... just be a good wife. They like us to take care of them. If you are pissed about something he does that you can actually fix yourself just fix it and chalk it up to just being a good wifey. Eventually, he will start doing nice things for you too, it's just the way the Karma works it, it's pretty awesome once you tap into it.

5 moms found this helpful

First, you can't ensure no arguing. It's a form of communication that is actually quite healthy in the right context. As my father said to me after my husband and I had our first real fight... people who say they don't argue with their spouse probably don't talk to them either!

Start keeping track of what you are fighting about. There is a difference between fighting and bickering, which is I think what you are describing. Having said that, this is not a communication pattern you want your son to replicate!

See if there are patterns to your bickering. Don't get crazy about it, but jot down something like "Monday, 7am can't find keys" in a little pocket journal. Keep track for a week and then take a look. Are you arguing as soon as your husband gets home from work? Well, then look at what you are arguing about- are you attempting to fill him in on the day right away? Maybe he needs down time or vice versa.

I did this with my husband a while ago. We were bickering constantly and it was really upsetting to me. I realized that when I met him at the door after we had both worked all day with a list of "things to talk about", he snapped at me. I got upset and would say something back... and so started another fun night! I point-blank asked him if it bothered him when I asked him a question as soon as he walked in and it did. I asked him what he needed and his simple answer- "two minutes to put my stuff down, wash my hands and hug my son". Okay- problem solved. This actually started a healthy pattern for us that basically allowed us to say- "what you are doing right now bothers me and you do it all the time. Please stop." without launching into a full-blown fight.

5 moms found this helpful

It's always a good thing to actually vocalize your desire not to fight!

Maybe next time you are aware you are gonna get in a fight, just tell him "Baby, I love you...I do not want us to fight" and go give him hug and a kiss!

4 moms found this helpful

Are you having sex often enough? Sorry, but with the last three words of your post "keep him happy" - that's all that came to mind.

4 moms found this helpful

It takes two to fight. you can always smile sweetly and say, "I love you too much to fight about this." and walk away.

4 moms found this helpful

I may make it sound like I just finally gave in to my husband, but, here is what I did, and, we have been happy. We too, were fighting about everything, dumb stuff. To make matters worse, we own two companies so we work together! Ahhh!!!

Anyway, I did as suggested below. I just started being overly nice. OVERLY nice. I didn't give in when he made a smart comment. I bit my tongue, HARD, and, just swallowed my pride. I figured, I want OUR FAMILY to be happy, why should I give in. I started doing little things. Rubbing his shoulders, kissing him for no reason, scratching his back. Things that made him feel good. Things that I did when we were new, fresh, and HAPPY.

Eventually, he started being like when we just met also. He would send me sweet texts saying I was special, or, just that he loves me.

Now, our new thing, is to see how many days in a row we can make love. I got the idea from something I saw on a morning show a long time ago. So far, we are only on day 6, but, wow, oh, wow! He's happier, the sex is great. It does not feel like a deed. I feel younger, just after a few days in a row! Now, I don't know that we'll make it 100 days like this couple did in the article, but, whew! I feel closer to him already, I feel like I can talk to him more. Not only about my bedroom needs, but, what I am needing from him day to day. I need his help around the house. Talking to him about that now, I don't feel like he is going to bite my head off. I need him to hug me more, I don't feel like I'm pulling teeth to get that. I'm fulfilling his needs of feeling wanted and loved, therefore, he is fulfilling my needs also.

Sometimes we have to reach deep within our own self and be the bigger person to help get what we are needing, and, give our family what they need. Men are different creatures. Some are capable of doing all of this without needing anything in return. I would bet money that most are not though. ;)

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3233072&page=1

4 moms found this helpful

If you start to raise your voice about something you know is rediculous, stop, appologize, start over and if you find yourself raising your voice again, walk away.

If he starts raising his voice first, say nicely, "I'm not yelling, so please stop yelling." If it continues, walk away.

My husband and I both lived with parents that screamed at each other and hated it growing up. Still hate it and we both know that we can simply say, "I'm frustrated with you right now, but I'm not quite ready to talk yet..." Or "I'm angry and here's why..." If either of us start getting angry and raising our voices, we agree to take a break and come back to it when we both calm down. By the end, we're hugging and appologizing to one another.

But... that type of thing is rare for us to begin with. We pick our 'battles' carefully. We generally just talk a lot. We talk about everything. We work together and live together... We see each other all the time.

3 moms found this helpful

if it's over small stuff like the toilet seat up or down, then just let it go. Since you do have a child, i would strongly suggest to try to work on not "fighting" in front of your child, this later can have negative effects on him-my daughter is starting to hate being with her dad (we're divorced) because he and his wife are usually always fighting in front of her (had to call DHS to get it to stop). if you have to, walk away from the conversation/argument, and come back later when you and your husband can TALK about the issue.

when was the last time you and your husband did something for eachother such as a family "date" or time alone together, play games, and when it's just you two make it an x rated game, those are so much FUN!!!

my husband and i are working on 2 years, (not long i know) but even before we got married we make it a habit to do something EVERY DAY for the other, even if it means something as simple as washing the other's back, or taking shoes off for the other person at the end of the day. it does wonders to a marriage. maybe at the small stuff, start laughing at the stupid stuff he says you do, and vice verse....little things go a LONG way. something else he does, if i get mad enough at him or just need to physically let out frustration (i can't hit hard) he'll let me beat up on him or we'll have a pillow fight to help the anger get released, and before we're done with that we're laughing hard at eachother and it turns into play....i love it.

3 moms found this helpful

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