How to Stay at Home

I have been a stay at home mom since my 3rd was born 8 years ago. I have watched other children here and there for extra money. We have never had to use any type of welfare. We do get reduced lunches at the school and are fortunate enough to have our softball fees waived.

What i can tell you is that we do not live as fancy as many do. Don't get me wrong, we still have an occasional filet mignon (bought on sale and cooked at home) and bottle of wine. We do not have flat screen tv's, fancy cars, new furniture....etc. These are things that my husband and i are willing to sacrafice for our kids. I have learned to make dinners that can stretch a couple of nights, like homemade meatballs, chilis, stews... and a night or two a week something as cheap as eggs or pancakes :)

I believe that it is possible. My husband does not make much money at all and there are 6 of us. It is not easy but it is absolutely worth it. I am starting back part time in sept (my youngest will be in first grade). I feel that i did the best thing i could do for my kids.

You really do have to be willing to sacrafice. (for lack of a better word) My husband and i realize that one day we will have the money for all of the extras. There are days though that we are scraping our change to get a soft pretzel... those days teach my kids precious lessons. I would love to give you more tips if you are interested.... just send me an email :)

4 moms found this helpful

I'm assuming your husband works? If so, you need to start by looking at your budget and seeing where you stand if you cut out your salary. At that point you start cutting where you can to get the numbers to work. You might have to cut out a lot of extras and you might even have to move (we had to downsize our house when I started staying at home). It just all depends on how important it is to both you and your husband and what you are willing to give up to make it work.

If staying at home full time won't cut it, you could consider part time work to make things a little better.

One suggestion I do have is if you decide that it is possible, try living on only your husband's salary for a few months before you actually quit your job. Just put your salary into savings and see what it's going to be like before you do anything drastic.

Good luck,
K.

3 moms found this helpful

alot of good responses her... just wanted to add a few things.
A L is right about cutting what you don't need... cable, cellphones, switching to lower minute plan or eliminate your house phone. Checking insurance and figuring out if it really is worth it to pay for full coverage on a 10 year old car,etc. It is pretty easy to learn to streamline bills. Start tracking your spending now... clothing, food, gas, misc. (all your expenses to keep you working like the gas to and from, childcare, money for lunch, clothing to wear... see if you can save by NOT working). Also I starting keeping track of how much I was spending on what grocery items (this took a while) but I realized that I bought so many pounds of beef each month so I started waiting for really good sales and stocked up as much as I could. Same with other things I bought regularly or alot of. We have also decided that we would be better off "buying a whole cow" to fill out freezer after 4H. It will be a large expense all at once but will keep us in meat for over a year.
Let me add- you do not want to go to a single car! My husband was in an accident that totalled his car so we were a single car family for alittle over a month- it was maddening! He worked so he took the car... I couldn't go to the store, church, run to the bank, take the kids to practice or school. If they missed the bus I had to scramble to make calls to find someone to get them to school on time. I was also constantly worrying what if they get hurt (i would have to call ambulance to go to ER) or really sick I couldn't get them to the doctor, etc. However you do not need 2 car payments, or even one if you can get away with it. We do not have a car payment at all. My husband bought a car with cash after his accident (the one he wrecked was too) and I paid off my truck years ago and still drive it. I want a new car soooo bad but it is not worth going back to work for as far as I am concerned.
Cut out any nasty (or not so nasty) habits that eat at your money. Eating out, smoking, alcohol, going out regularly, magazine subscriptions (saved a ton when stopped those), coffee shop visits (that was my sacrifice). Once you have made all the cuts you can... try to pay all expenses with just your husbands income. I put 3 months of my income in savings before I quit working just to have a nest egg and to make sure we would be ok. The only exception would be the childcare and your working expenses (since you will not have those if you stay at home). If your husbands income is just alittle short- see where else you can cut or ask for part time at your current job to make up the difference but be home more. Maybe instead of working 5 days a week you can only work 2.
Hope this helps :)

1 mom found this helpful

Here's my advice that does not involve taking a part-time job:

Calculate the difference between your job and your daycare expenses. Clearly that is the amount you will have to shave off. To that you should add a bit because your utilities will go up just a bit from being at home during the weekdays.

Entertainment:
- Cut back your TV cable bill where you can.
- Use Netflix and hulu online for watching TV/movies.
- Take advantage of the passes offered at your local library as well as free rentals of movies and books. Anything you can rent instead of buy, do.
- If you have cell phones, get rid of your landline; Alternatively, reduce your cell plans.
- Join free playgroups.
- Attend free read-alongs and similar at the local library or at bookstores. (But don't buy books after!)
-Instead of meeting friends for drinks or coffee, take turns hosting.

Food:
- Clip coupons or start buying food in bulk.
- Plan a weekly menu and make your shopping list around that. Include one or two freezer or "wing it" meals for nights that things didn't go as planned and you don't have time to cook, so that you can whip a meal together and don't have to resort to ordering in.
- For larger fruits (mellons, etc), if your supermarket offers half of it, buy that and buy a variety so you can make a fruit salad and keep it in the fridge. It ends up being cheaper than buying the ready-made fruit salad and you'll be inclined to eat fruit.

Utilities:
- Run the dishwasher and washer/dryer at night. Water and electricity are cheaper then.
- Use cold water for all your laundry.
- Line-dry your clothes when the weather permits it.
- Put timers on your lights if you are the types that are used to leaving them on/forgetting to turn them off.

That's all I can think of now. I hope you find these tips practical and that they help get you closer to your goal. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Start an in home daycare???

1 mom found this helpful

I recently became a SAHM when we moved out of state, we went done to one car and have paid off most of our credit debt. we have watched our pennies and are doing very well. Like the other posts said plan ahead. Give yourself a target date and jump in with both feet the water is great!!! lol. good luck, we are talking about baby #2 possibly. remember GOD will provide what is needed.

1 mom found this helpful

I took a class on book keeping/quick books. I now work from home two days a week and off set our income. If you are good with budgeting/numbers check it out. I have been doing it for 2 years. Book keepers are always in demand, you can charge a great hourly rate and do most from your home during naps- depending on your clientele. Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

I here you! I have threr kids ages 6,3,2. I have been home for six years but it took a while to find a real company that offers work from home. I have done many things but nothing worked.
I love my company they have been in business for 25 years! They are awarded by the BBB! I would look into any company that you choose and so your research.

Here is my website for more details.
We'll talk soon!

M.
http://www.WorkingGreenMoms.com

1 mom found this helpful

Well, a couple of things have to be made clear first.
A. Are you a single mom? It is much harder if you are.
B. If you are married does your husband make enough to support all of you?
C. Are you willing to whittle down your lifestyle to fit a one income home?
D. Is your debt load such that it won't be a major strain on the family?

Just because you stay home doesn't necessarily mean you will live off the system. =) It can be done but it may take a lot of thought. I can honestly tell you that in the long run it is well worth it! Even if it means the adults eat hotdogs and mac for a while. My first husband and I had to do that so I could stay home with my two older children. I remember hating the limits set on us as adults but I also remember how wonderful it was to have my children hugging on me during the middle of the day, reading them a book, watching them play in a sprinkler. I may be selfish but I want to be the one to experience that with MY children, not a babysitter. I can't imagine how the moms feel that have the babysitter say, "Your daughter took her first step today! I wish you had been there....".

1 mom found this helpful

My husband works close to home so we decided to be a one car family. It actually works out good for us and saves us sooo much money! There are always little things that you can do to save money. It is so worth it to stay home with your babies. Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm curious what advice other Mom's give because I have thought about this myself!

in case you want a book idea...

Miserly Moms by Jonni McCoy
Strategies for Stay-at-Home Parents by Kristine Berggren

Looking forward to reading the answers. We can always use some new tips to save even more!

I am not sure you if you are looking for a way to earn money while at home. If you are, here are a couple of 3 minute messages you can listen to: Roger Barnett, Chairman & CEO - ###-###-#### and Project MAHMA™ - ###-###-####. If the info interests you, let me know.
If this isn't the kind of info you were asking for, please disregard. In that case, I would go with the advice of living on one salary for awhile. You might also benefit from some of the information in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace seminars.
Hope this is helpful. Good luck!
V.

I haven't read the other responses yet, so this may be redundant, but here's my take on the situation.

We are managing to have me stay home and raise our child (soon to be children). No, it's not easy. At all. We do not have enough money to rely jut on my husband's salary, and life is not at all what it used to be. But I wouldn't trade this time for the world. Here's a breakdown of what we do.

1. Stop buying stuff. All of it. I am a huge fan of freecycle.org and they have communities all over the world. Almost all of my baby stuff has come from there and it is well worth it. This means that I don't have "sets" of anything. Most of my stuff looks used, because it is. Most of the baby's clothes have a stain somewhere or worn out knees, or something. As it turns out, it really doesn't matter. There's no way I'll ever rationalize spending $15 on an outfit that might last three months again. I will, however, make an exception for a special event. But only if I REALLY need to. Also, there's no shame in shopping at consignment and thrift shops. They smell a little weird and you have to wash (maybe twice) the clothes that you get, but paying $0.75 for a pair of shoes for a toddler is well worth that sacrifice.

Going with hand-me-downs, also means that my clothes are mostly ugly and worn. My maternity wardrobe in particular is dreadful. BUT... I cling to those clothes that do look nice and save them for when I need to look presentable. Then I wear the gross clothes at other times. Like when I'm changing diapers and doing laundry all day. The kids don't really care what you're wearing. They'll love that you're around to play "build a fort" in the living room.

This also means no retail-therapy. No "shopping as recreation". No impulse buys. It's actually really hard at first, but the longer you go without, the less you feel like you need stuff. It's actually hard for me to buy things now. I need a new pair of sandals since my pregnant feet won't fit into any of my old ones. I haven't bought shoes in two years (except one pair from Target that I bought for a wedding) and I really have to force myself to spend the money. I also haven't had a haircut in two years, but if I just keep trimming the ends myself, I think I can manage. I've mastered the ponytail! Ha!

USE THE LIBRARY. It's so often overlooked and underused. Even when your books are late, the fines are miniscule. Be careful with the dvds and videos, though. Those fines can be pretty hefty. Still cheaper than renting, though! And certainly don't buy these things. I have a book shelf from my old life full of books that I thought were OK. I'm not going to read them again, so now they're just taking up space. Drat!

2. Don't eat out. Unless my parents are treating, we stay home. Occasionally we'll order take-out, but that's less than 3 times per month. And when we do, we find a "deal" somewhere. Learn a few easy, delicious recipes that your family will eat anytime. When you are tempted, look at the price of a meal at the place you want to go. Add tip. Then think about how you could make the same thing at home and save yourself SO much money. And, trust me, when you're home instead of working all day and then bringing the kids home to do the whirlwind of getting ready for the NEXT day, you'll be much more likely to want to cook things.

3. Get extra work where you can. My husband does freelance computer work. I don't know what you and your husband can do, but babysit for someone else, odd jobs, overtime, whatever. Eventually you're going to need a plumber or a car repair and you'll be glad to have a little extra cash.

4. Use coupons. I was a much bigger fan of this a couple of months ago. The more nutritiously you try to eat, the fewer coupons are available to you. I've been trying to use "whole ingredients" more and there are very few coupons for those. It's a toss-up. Worth checking them out, and if you like the processed stuff, you'll find no shortage in ways to save money there. Also good for paper products and things like that.

5. Become part-vegetarian. I'm always vegetarian and, since I don't want to make two meals, my family is vegetarian at home. Vegetables are expensive, but regardless of your protein choice, vegetables and fruits should be the bulk of what you see on your plate. It's easy to add carbs. Meat, especially the grass-fed, humanely slaughtered, no-antibiotic kind is very expensive. Try beans (burritos, bean soups, as part of a veg mix over pasta, chili, etc.), tofu (if done right, it's actually very tasty, despite all the "ew" factor people give it), quinoa (looks like a grain, contains protein), or nuts (chop them and add them to veggie dishes or on rice or in pasta). It's healthier, cheaper, and better for the planet.

6. Remind yourself that it's worth it. You won't always be able to join friends for dinner or buy that cute thing that you want. But you WILL know what your kids are doing all day. You, with all your love for your kids, will be responsible for how they are growing. You cannot pay someone else to love them like you do. You cannot pay someone to be invested in how they turn out in the end. That's all on you and it's TOTALLY worth it.

Good luck!
L.

Hi there
my first bit of advice would be to CLEAR the house of items you really don't need .. example, two cars... too many appliances, too many t.v.s etc.. have a garage sale, then.... Clean up ALL EXTRAs in terms of bills, credit cards, etc... stop buying (if you do) meals outside the home, this includes coffee and or other beverages. NOW.. see if once you truly scale ALL things back.. does this feel comfortable and that said, can you now manage to stay at home with a single income. I say try all the above first... see if it feels good and actually works monetarily.... if it does.. then yeah, go for it..
sometimes, people quit their jobs FIRST and then figure out their budget LAST... I say, do the budget first, see what life is realistically like once you have cut back.. then .... follow up and leave and your job..

Instead of a SAHM would you settle for WAHM to bring in some extra cash? I found the perfect work from home job a couple of months ago. I am still working full-time, but hope to be working exclusively from home some day. For now, I’m able to get some extra money by putting in a couple hours a week. Let me know if you want more information. Send me a private message or call me at ###-###-#### and ask for K..

I think you should "go for it." Time goes so quickly and your children are grown up and gone before you know it

Yes, I think it does take great sacrifice, however the rewards are beyond measure.

A home business that I have been a part of for the past 7 years is CReative Memories. We teach people "how" to preserve their family photos in scrapbook albums, digital or traditional. It is the "helping" business, because you help people do great things for their families. You really do. And, you keep up with your own children's albums. Go to:
www.mycmsite.com/marycluley and you can look around and see if it peaks your interest.

Best of luck to you. You have your priorities right!
Fondly, M.

When we made the decision to have me stay home, we sat down and figured out exactly what we needed my income for. Neither of our kids had been in daycare but our youngest was in preschool 3 days/week. I had my own home based business at the time, and although I wasn't doing much with it, it was actually providing us with more than what we needed my income for so the choice was simple for us. If I worked my business a little more we could have the extras and I would still be able to volunteer at school, go on field trips, be at soccer and baseball games and really be the mom I wanted to be while contributing to our family financially.
There are so many wonderful home based businesses. There are ways to review your budget and see if you need to work at all. If you would like to discuss how we made our decision, feel free to reply.
D.
PS - Staying home made an incredible difference in my children. They are polite, responsible and wonderful boys. I know it is difficult for many moms to stay home and I applaude the working moms herculean efforts to keep everything going they way they do. For us, staying at home was the best decision.

Since having my child 7 years ago, I have worked FT for GREAT money, been laid off, collected unemployment, worked PT for not-so-great money, and been rehired PT for GREAT money. Guess what? We lived through all of it.

I think it's all about number crunching.

Figure how much you bring home per year. Figure how much you pay for 2 kids on FT daycare. If the difference is really significant, you need to figure out if you can live on less.

It's amazing the money you SAVE by staying home: gas, wardrobe, child care, etc, etc.

I'm a huge Dave Ramsay fan and I would suggest his books to help you figure out if you can do it. Most people can. You just need to step off of the hamster wheel and live on less than you make.

I am or was in the same boat! I have two children and worked at the daycare that they went to once they were born...money was terrible but we needed the benefits so it worked and at least I knew who was with my kids all day and could check in on them if necessary...that was an option for us. Then I went back to work for two years, we buckled down, stayed on a strick budget and got our finances in good shape, and I will be able to stay home with them starting in June! Although I feel as though I've "lost" two years because I was at work, it was a long term goal, we needed time to work out a plan and it was a process. Patience... if you want it to work, start now planning for next year... that is what we did and it is going to work for us, maybe only for a year or two but I will take that over none! good luck!

I work part time and stay at home with my son 4 days a week. I also have a hobby on the side that makes money. I enter car tags into a database. Then I tell others to enter them in. That's it. No products, no services to sell. I can write them down with my 15 month old in the car. This completely legit company has created a way to store information to help find missing children and those who have stolen cars or failed to make their payments. I have already received multiple checks. I told 3 friends, then they told and so on. Yes, like multi-level or Arbonne, only no products or services. Just 10 tags a month. I'm almost to my 4th level of people. Once you reach 5 levels, it is $4,500 a month. Please feel free to call me on my cell, you can sign up from anywhere around the country. All done online. Easy. Call me, A., at ###-###-####. My Web site is amcglothlin.narcthatcar.com Talk soon!

Hi, I understand where you are coming from and deeply feel for you. May I ask a couple of questions? Are you interested in keeping yourself and your family healthy more naturally as opposed to frequent medications? Have you thought about going "Green" with respect to your cleaning products? If so, do you have concerns that they are too expensive and/or that they won't clean as well as what we have all been using for years? Do you appreciate good skin care & cosmetics but are now wondering what toxins might be in your chosen brand after seeing the media hype about it? If you have answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, I would love for us to simply chat for a few minutes about a way that you could earn $500, $1,000, $5,000, $10,000 a month by having your own home business with Shaklee, a Green company that has been in business for over 50 years. I just love working with Moms to help them achieve their goals around their current schedule. Shaklee has instituted a Fast Track Plan; if you follow it, you can earn up to $100,000 in 15 months by following it. Even if you don't earn all that, there is plenty of $$$ just a little less than the $100,000. If you are interested in at least checking it out (how could that hurt??), drop me a note at ____@____.com and I will send you to a website to hear more of the details and find out a little more about Shaklee. Then we can follow up on the phone so you can get your questions answered and just see how you feel about it then. I look forward to hearing from you soon. By the way, Shaklee has been the exclusive nutritional sponsor of our USA Ski & Snow-boarding Teams, and many of our other USA Olympic athletes use it as well and have given testimonials. Also, the White House uses Shaklee's non-toxic cleaning products now. Take care. E. Taft

Well, I feel for you! You could try only working part-time or finding a way to work from home. You'd still be working but would have more time with your kids. Good luck, I hope you can find something that works for you and your kids!!!!

We are big planners and that is how we started before our daughter, now 15, was born. It was decided from the get go that I would stay home with her.

I am fortunate to have a hubby with a great job and it really was not an issue, however, planning was/is still involved in an ongoing basis. We now own our company which is the same industry he has been in for years but we are responsible for all the expenses and insurance. There is a lot to look at.

The main thing we do is be DEBT free. Our monthly obligation is our mortgage which has been paid way down and refinanced wisely. We have a mortgage rate around 5% which is hardly found now adays. MAINTAIN perfect credit.....that will help you SO much.

If you use a credit card (we use 1 card) and it is paid in full, sometimes overpaid monthly. We have a lot of expenses related to our business. ANY time an expense is reimbursed the funds are immediaely sent to the credit card company. Like I said we have 1 card we use regularly. We actually have 2 cards and we trade off the use...for instance, the driver edge card gives us "points" toward a new car...we can only accumalate up to $500 per year. Once we hit the $500, we switch to the Airline mile card and accumalate air miles which pays for all ouf our personal air travel (and we travel a lot). On the driver edge card....the deal is you accumalate points and whenever you buy a car, make your best deal, buy the car THEN send in a form to the credit card company and they issue you a check in the amount you have accumulated. We buy new cars but we pay for them outright and we do not trade often. For instance, I have an 07 paid for very nice sporty Mercedes that will be our daughter's in December when she gets her license ( I know, I know,...BUT it is a SAFE car and we believe in safe cars for all of us). When we got this car, we got an automatic $2000 back from the saved points we had. Nice little perk, huh!

You must believe in delayed gratification. A number 1 priority was to fully fund our IRA's and daughter's college fund. After all this is now done, we can look at some "fun" things to do and it just so happens that some of the "fun" things go away when there is an unexpected repair around the house, etc.

We do not go cheap on things. We buy quality one time and then we are not nickel and dimed to death on repairs.

A great way to "try it" for a while is to bank your entire salary and live off your husband's salary while you are both still working. This will help you see what is coming in and going out monthly and where you might need to cut back.

I'm in the Dallas area so i sometimes do focus groups and get paid cash for my opinion. Granted, it is not a ton of money and when I do it I know it cost me to drive to the location, etc but I use the money for play money and shop when I am done. I also substitute teach on occasion. One way to be successfull is to have multiple streams of income....don't rely on just 1. The little things can add up.

I stock up my pantry with about 6 months worth of staples. My freezer is filled with high end beef we buy from our local butcher shop. I shop Costco and the local grocery Market Street.

When I see a deal....I stock up. For instance, I use All HE laundry detergent. I think I have 10 backup bottles now. I do the same tith toilet tissue, paper towels and baby wipes.

Good luck to you and I hope you will be able to be home with your children. It is a very rewarding experience. It is not for everone for that is ok too.

Really, you need to look at the big picture items... house/rent, car payment, and insurance coverages.... you can live with out the super cool cell phone, or cut the cable, and grocery bills- use coupons, ect.... but the big items are what you need to look at... it is totally doable. I have been home now for 4.5 years with my 3 kids and we travel and the kids do a lot of activities..the hardest part was mentally being home taking care of kids all day instead of working, making an income, going to lunch, being in charge of a larger and older staff...but I LOVE it and would not change a minute of it... I love watching my kids grow and learn and experince new things...good luck

Try a direct sales company.

What great ideas everyone has!!!
I am an independent jeweler for Premier Designs Jewelry - I do home parties (like Pampered Chef). If you consider going into the direct selling business to make some extra cash, please keep us in mind - we make 50% profit and great commissions. AND we have the best hostess program which helps keep your business rolling!!
Please let me know if you'd like to know more about Premier - I'd love to share it with you. And I'd give you $50 free jewelry just for listening to the opportunity.
Thanks!
L.
____@____.com
###-###-####

I stay home with my babies and wouldn't have it any other way. I haven't worked since I was married (before we had kids) so I never had to adjust from two incomes to one. I'm sure you've considered the cost you will save on daycare. Other than that, here are a few things we do to save $ without sacraficing getting out. You can't just stay cooped up in the house all day afterall, you would go crazy! Oh and I do not work part time or sell anything from home. I am strictly a SAHM.

1. We buy an annual pass to our local zoo, which also includes the local aquarium and bio parks. HUGE savings.
2. We use coupons and buy in bulk.
3. If I want to take the kids to McDonalds or some where to play, we eat first (they don't really care about eating there anyway) and we just get a drink and ice cream.
4. Community centers are a great place to look for cheap or even free activities.
5. We go to story time at a local book store once a week.
6. We eat at home. Make meals fun and there is no need to go out. (muffin tin Monday, pizza party Friday, kids choice...)
7. Plant a garden. Not only will you save $$$ on produce it will be hours of fun for the kids.
8. We wash our car at home
9. Give yourself a weekly allowance. That way you have cash to do things during the week but won't be using your debit card. I only get $60 a month. Sounds like very little but I usually have $$$ left over. It really helps me decide what to buy and what we can live wihout. The extra $$$ goes in a jar.
10. Most importantly, sit down with your hubby and work out a budget. If you are both involved with the budget and know what it is, it is much easier to stick with it.

Oh and I just traded my Durango for a Rondo. HUGE savings... I drive over 350 miles a week, it used to cost $80-100 a week, now it costs $30-40. Yes once #3 is born in july they will have to share one seat and will probably bug eachother but such is life!

Good luck and I hope you find a way to stay at home with your kiddos.

I'm interested to see your responses. I'm interested in staying at home with my 5 month old. There seem to be a lot of "work at home opportunities" but it's hard to navigate through them. Good luck!

Avon? Pampered Chef? one of those companies where you can work your schedule around your kids?

Staying home has been the best decision for me and my family so I'm happy you can consider it. So far you've gotten great advice on where to cut costs and how to make the most of your days for little money. Here are a few resources that were helpful to me when I got started.

The Grocery Game: http://www.thegrocerygame.com/ Helps you connect the dots on what's on sale plus what has a coupon to optimize saving. There is a fee, so once you get the hang of it you can cancel your subscription at any time.

Your utility's website: following their tips on saving electricity and gas we save over $600/yr with no notable impact on lifestyle (eg we didn't stop using the dryer or anything drastic like that)

Freebies4Mom http://freebies4mom.blogspot.com/ Good advice on special offers from a variety of sources

Best of luck! When I was working I used to cry every night about missing my kids. I have never once cried about our old crappy TV!