How to Start Potty Training

I agree with Catherine. If you're going to do it, then really do it. With younger kids lots of people spend a few months just playing potty, but she's certainly old enough to understand what's suposed to happen (even if she doesn't want to do it).

I potty trained my son in much the same way Catherine suggests. He spent Saturday naked from the waste down, Sunday morning in underwear and a t-shirt and Monday he went to daycare in underwear (with several changes of clothes in his cubby). He was 25 months at the time (but he'd been interested in the potty for about 4 months which doesn't seem to be the case for your little one).

Perhaps you can get her more on board by starting about a week out. Help her mark "No Diaper Day" on the calendar for the next weekend, then every day have her count how many more days. Also mid week, you might take her to the store and let her pick out the new big girl panties she can wear after the weekend.

The thing about it is you can't go back and forth. No diapers means no diapers. A pull-up at bedtime (as long as she hasn't been wearing them before giving up diapers) and underwear every other moment.

Good luck with this... it's a big undertaking and it seems like more work than diapers at first, but it is soooo nice for both of you once you get to the other side :-)

Well... I think you just have to take the bull by the horns. You're the mom. If you're tired of changing diapers, then it's time to potty train! After some initial resistance, your child will fall in line with what you want her to do. She's resisting you because that's what 2 year olds do.

That being said, I have found that the least confusing (for the child) and easiest/fastest way (for the mom) to approach potty training is the "naked and $60" method. Naked because she'll need to be naked from the waist down, and $60 because that's what it will cost you to rent the carpet cleaning machine afterward. =)

This weekend (or whenever you will be at home for a few days and not need to run errands) simply take her clothes off from the waist down. Explain to her that from now on, whenever she is awake, she will be using the potty for all her pee-pee and poo-poo. Tell her that whenever she feels like she needs to go, she should run to the potty, and that you will help her remember to do this. Then - watch her very carefully and if you have the slightest idea that she might need to go, RUN her to the potty. It's likely she'll have a few accidents at first - don't tell her it's ok (it's not), but don't make a big fuss either. Just tell her that next time she'll make it - and then make sure she does! I have found that it's critical for them to be naked at least the first couple of days (or you could put her in a dress with no underwear if it bugs you for her to be naked) - the point is, having anything on their little bottoms makes them forget that they need to be paying attention to going to the potty, because they're so used to feeling a diaper there. Also, for some reason it seemed to really help my kids to SEE when they were peeing, because finally it helped them understand what it felt like and what it looked like to make pee-pee. Face it, when they've been covered with a diaper their whole lives, how can they be expected to know?

She may be very resistant at first and cry for her diaper. Don't give in. Be firm and consistent and I promise you that within 3 days she will be daytime potty trained for the most part.

As for night time potty training, with my kids one of them was instantly night time potty trained upon being daytime potty trained, and one of them was a bed wetter until she was almost 5. She honestly could not control it; it wasn't for lack of trying. If your daughter continues to wet the bed, just use pull ups at night until she outgrows it. No big deal.

Good luck!!

I was just going to say to start putting pull ups on her with the pretty underwear and that should help. If not, ask her go with you to pick out the potty or booster potty and let her pick out stickers to decorate it. That usually will at least get her intersted in the potty itself. If you get a small potty, just ask her to come into the restroom when you potty and ask her to sit on it. She doesn't even have to take her pull ups off, just get her used to sitting on it. These are just starts. Everyone does this in their own time for some reason and you will notice a lot of the requests are about potty training and feeding and sleeping habits changing.

I'm not sure where you live, but if you are in the Bay area, there is a workshop on toilet training at Bananas (Claremont Ave. in Oakland) on Thursday April 2. You can check out their website:

http://www.bananasinc.org/

Good luck!

I remember with my daughter we just flooded her with watching potty training videos like Bear in the Big Blue House etc. You can try to find at the Goodwill or library. Good Luck!

I read advice from T. Berry Brazelton in his book Touchpoints. The basic premise is to talk about the potty with your child, but not to force. Offer rewards if needed. My son was very reluctant to use the potty (he is 3) but one day decided he was ready and off we went. It is probably different for every child and often one step forward two steps back, but I would caution just going for it if your child seems so afraid. Brazelton says that some kids will hold their bowel movement if they are afraid of the toilet and may end up with constipation problems. Then it is actually painful for them to go to the bathroom.

Hi G., Well my 2 expierences were very different. My daugher stopped wetting her diapers at night exactly at 2 yrs old to the day. Because I knew we were moving I waiting till we moved into our house before I started potty training her. Basically what I did was put the potty chair outside the bathroom and everytime she had to go I put her in the chair and counted to 10 very slowly and by the time I reached 10 she was done. Took 1-2 days tops.
My son on the other hand who is very hard headed...I bought the potty chair for him. he much rather play with it then pee in it. My suggestion if you chose to use the potty chair is use the simple one with out all th e flushing the handle, toilet paper rolls..you know that i mean. Never ever used that thing for what it was meant for. I waited until I noticed at 3 yrs and 2 months he was waking up dry. I put him right to the toilet and sat with him for a bit and he went pee pee. I made a calender and he put stickers everytime he went. Took me about 2-3 days and that was that. I kept up with the calender to finish up the month and we stopped that. He has had only 1 accident until recently. This last one he had to go so bad that he actually missed the toilet...that's okay. Make it a game. It worked out so well for me because he was getting too big for the size 6 diapers..I had no choice, but he made it very easy for me. Oh and we never used that potty chair we bought for him. OH WELL!!

Hi G.,
I too was feeling helpless with my son and his potty training. All of my friends children were mastering it and I felt like I was not a good parent. My son is 3 and 3/4 now and he is doing well with potty training. I had to let him take the lead. I still would ask him gently if he would like to use the potty, once a day, but when he said no, I just let it go. He can go potty really well now in the toilet. We are still working on the poop issue. He only likes to do it in his pull up. I have heard that when they poop they feel like part of their body is coming out. I got some videos at the library and had him watch them so he knew what it is all about. There is a website for pull ups that is giving out free potty training videos and it is called big kid central. With the potty training and poop, I would also use gifts too. I have alot of new little lego toys on the shelf near the toilet and one time he did want one and did perform in his little potty chair. I also would say don't you want to be a big boy, he would say no. He really didn't know what that meant. I think he thought he would have to do grown up chores or something. I am a licensed therapist and I know that when there are new changes in the home it is normal for the big siblings to regress a little. I also remember reading in the literature if the child still wakes up wet from a nap or nightime, that means their little body isn't ready yet to be potty trained. It was until my son started to wake up from his naps dry in his pull up and from nightime sleep. Until then I just had to be patient and not compare my son with others. I too feel like every move I make I don't want to traumatize him, being a therapist and all. :-) I hope this helps you. Please write back if you have any questions. Take care and hang in there.
Sincerely, K.

Hello G.: Potty training was such a varied experiance for each of my 5 children. I found that if I had them sit on their potty seat in the morning and at night before they were going to bed it helped to introduce it to them. The m&m rewards method helped, as for one child his siblings locked themselves in a bathroom for a day until the brother got it(this was the hardest thing on me but they accomplished the goal he was 3, 20 years later they are still laughing about it. I also bought fancy ruffle panties to wear over diapers for the girls and fun spiderman or what ever the theme for the boys. My 2 year old granddaughter is at a wonderful preschool and because she sees the other children using the potty chairs she wants to as well. My sweet daughter-in-law and son make a bigg deal about it and have even got her chair in the family room at times to help her. I know that it will be you that is more traumatized by the experiance that the child so go ahead and push the issue. When a child gets to a certain toddler
stage they need the bounderies that you set and know that its safe to do things that are big changes in their life. I wish you well on the adventure of motherhood. Nana Glenda

Hi G.,

2 of my sisters boys were not potty trained until they passed their 3 year birthday. Her other son was potty trained right at 2 years. All 4 of my kids were different ages when they were potty trained - - and I had different experiences with each one of them. My second boy was the hardest - we even had a few accidents in store isleways. (oops).

The most important lesson I learned about potty training is to not make a big deal about it. Weather she is 1 or 4, she will eventually get out of the diapers. :) Your role as a parent is to guide and direct children into responsible adulthood, rather than push and shove into fear and resentment. :)

One thing you can do is make little comments here and there - but dont push the issue. For instance, if your little girl likes princesses, point out the princess underware at the store and say, "oh, look what you get to wear once you are ready to use the potty - these are great!" Keep it all positive - she'll want to potty train once she is no longer afraid of it. :)

One possibility is that she could be wanting to hang on to the 'baby' part because there is a baby in the house that gets the 'baby' attention. Telling her what an awesome big sister she is, and that one of the things she will be able to do is help her little sister/brother learn to use big girl/boy potty may help.

Oh, as far as the wet diaper when she wakes up.... What worked for us was no fluids for 30 mins before bed, and the last thing before laying down, is using the toilet. :)

I've heard many different stories about what works for potty training for different moms. The reward system seems to be a popular one, just not one I ever used because, well, I'm not that organized. :) But whatever you do use, just remember this is only one of many different mile stones you will reach with your kids - - don't stress on it :) - - enjoy this time - - I'm sure you've heard over and over again that the time goes by soooooo fast - - well, it does. Tomorrow you are going to wake up, and your little (potty trained) girl is going to be at the DMV getting her drivers licence. Now - talk about STRESS!!!! LOL

Happy Parenting!! :)

Rene
www.BeachBodyAtHome.com
www.SaferIsBetter.com/wellness
www.HomeWithMy4.com

Hi G.,

I got some advices from other parents about reward, coloring, and dolly. None of them can work for my daughter. My potty train was doing really good with DVD portable player. I started it on Jan 09, now she wears her underwear and can go potty by herself. She is three years old on Feb. I let my daughter watched her favorite dvd. The first few days she sit on her potty for one hour. After she got the idea, I put on her underwear.
Usually I take her to the potty 5-10 mnts after she has milk, breakfast, lunch, dinner, before sleep, and snack.
Good luck.
E.

I agree with Catherine. My only suggestion is that 2 year olds like to be in control. Rather than ask her "Do you have to go potty?" let her be in control and say "You tell me when you have to go potty". Say this to her repeatedly. Asking a question has you in control of the situation, having her tell you when she has to go gives her the sense of control. Again, this is a "control" that you set. I hope this makes sense. Two year olds are all about choices and trying power plays. If you set the boundaries, she can function within them. Be consistent!!Good luck.