C.M. asks from McKinney, TX on May 21, 2006
How to Let a Friend Who Has Infertility Issues Know I'm Pregnant?
She has been struggling w/ secondary infertility issues and I know it makes her sad to be around pregnant people. This is a "surprise" pregnancy that I am not 100% ecstatic about yet (I will be, I just need a bit more time). I have never had any fertility issues so I'm not sure how a good way to tell her without hurting her. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
6 moms found this helpful
S. answers from Dallas on May 22, 2006
A true friend would be happy no matter what.
A.K. answers from Dallas on May 22, 2006
I, too, am one who suffers from infertility. I don't want to make this harder on you, but I need to be honest. There's really no way to go about it without having the news affect your friend negatively. If she is truly a friend to you, she will show you that she is happy for you and loves you and all that. She will be happy for you, but on the inside she won't be able to help the feelings of envy and disappointment about her own situation (if she's anything like me). It will, however, be easier for her to deal with than if you were a stranger, because she loves you and wants the best for you. My friend is pregnant and I've been just fine with it. When I first found out, it was a little hard, but the more I see her, the easier it gets somehow. Hope this helps.
M.T. answers from Dallas on May 21, 2006
I had the exact same problem with my best friend. I talked to her husband first and asked what he thought. He said that I should tell her myself. When I told her she did cry and was very honest. She said she has never been so happy but sad too. We both cried together and then everything was fine. :) I was just careful not to talk about everything too much to not throw it in her face.
M.W. answers from Dallas on May 22, 2006
While I have no first hand experience with infertility, I was a gestational surrogate and have been "involved" with infertility issues for a few years. Why don't you check out www.fertilityneighborhood.com for some advice from the ladies who have dealt with the nightmare of infertility first hand. You'll get some help with how to tell your friend and some good advice on how to be the kind of friend she needs through her trying time.
Best of luck with your pregnancy! Here's to a healthy nine months.