May 13, 2011,
K.M. asks from Fort Collins, CO on May 11, 2011
How to Induce a Miscarriage
Sadly, I went into my routine appointment for my eleventh week of pregnancy yesterday and learned that our baby was no longer living. It was so difficult; we had just seen the heart beat three weeks prior on an ultrasound and I was expecting this appointment to be quick, fun, and painless. However, three different nurses and the doctor could not find a heartbeat on the Doppler so we had an ultrasound done. Lo and behold, no life left. I am so very fortunate to already have a beautiful, absolutely amazing one-and-a-half-year-old boy so he continues to put smiles and laughter in our hearts every day.
My question is this, however:
I wish to miscarry naturally, if possible. Are there any foods, drinks, methods, etc. that can help induce a miscarriage? I do not want to wait much longer. We are going to be visiting family in a week and a half (a long planned vacation) and I really do not wish to have to go through the process then. I will do a D&C if absolutely necessary, but would definitely prefer a natural elimination.
Thank you. This is an extremely tough experience, but nature seems to know best.
So What Happened?™
I am extremely touched by all of your responses. It is sad how common miscarriages are and how many wonderful mothers have to endure them. All of you are now very close to my heart as well and thank you so much for sharing your stories. After a lot of difficult consideration and reading all of your experiences, we have decided to opt for the D&C tomorrow morning. While I think that it might be better for my body to miscarry naturally, I am having a hard time waiting. Also, I am a SAHM with my son and I don't have additional help during the days while my husband is at work. If the natural process were to be long and very painful (which my doctor and many of you have warned me about), I am not certain that I would be a very good caretaker during that time. I am ready to move on and let my poor baby move on too. As for the family trip, I couldn't think of rescheduling it because I need their love and support more now than ever. We do not have family that live in the state and we only get to see our families about three or four times a year. I am in need of this trip and am thankful that I will not have to worry about going through the miscarriage while in their company. So, even though I am nervous about tomorrow, I feel that it is the right choice. I send all my love to each and every one of you and your families. Best wishes for many happy, beautiful memories ahead. Thank you.
H.W. answers from Portland on May 11, 2011
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know this loss personally and how difficult it can be.
Being as far along as you are, I would suggest not using any herbal abortifacients. The reason I say this is that your body will usually know how to expel a pregnancy which is non-viable on it's own. Adding herbs may intensify cramping or possibly make you very, very ill. I know from my last miscarriage that I would not have made it through the process without vicodin for pain relief, so do ask your midwife/ob for some real pain relief, not just advil or tylenol. Your body will be laboring. Keep healthy foods which are easier on the stomach around. (I found applesauce to be a lifesaver.) Be prepared that it may take a few days for the cramping to subside. I was down for about three whole days, and almost passed out a couple times, so know your limits. Have your spouse stay home with you once things start (if you have children you may be not be able to tend to them well without help). Give yourself time.
I have had three miscarriages and haven't had to go in for a d and c, however, my girlfriends who have had to go in have all been treated with compassion and respect. Each one has told me that while they weren't wanting to go in for this procedure, they were well-cared for and received personable treatment.
My heart goes out to you. Drink lots of water and get plenty of rest and eat well when you can.
13 moms found this helpful
J.J. answers from Los Angeles on May 11, 2011
while there are things you can take to do this, it may still be necessary to get the D&C to get "everything" connected to the pregnancy out. As hard as it is, I would go get the D&C, especially since you are soon going away. Sorry for your loss...
12 moms found this helpful
P.W. answers from San Francisco on May 11, 2011
Don't have any advice about the natural miscarriage -- I had a D&C when the exact same thing at about the same time happened to me. It was sad, I cried, but I felt better when I saw that the baby had essentially been reabsorbed. Nature did know best, and I couldn't have asked for anyone more perfect than the wonderful daughter who followed that miscarriage.
Hope you feel better soon!
10 moms found this helpful
R.C. answers from Rockford on May 11, 2011
Your story really hits home for me. February 28th of this year I went to my initial prenatal appointment and of course was so excited. According to my LMP I was 11 weeks. After no heartbeat on the doppler we tried u/s and still no heartbeat. Baby measured only 9 weeks so it had been 2 weeks since the baby's heart stopped beating. My doctor said he could not guess when I would miscarry on my own. I decided to have the D&C because I did not want to go through the torture of waiting and wondering, "When will it happen?" Then once it starts happening, it's a whole other torture waiting for it to be done. This is why we decided to do the D&C. I did not want to drag it on. I wanted it over and done with. Surgery went well but did bleed a little bit after. I understand why you want nature to take it's own course but for your sanity, I would definitely consider surgery. I hope this helps... best of luck.
10 moms found this helpful
M.R. answers from Phoenix on May 11, 2011
I miscarried naturally at 12 weeks several years ago. It did not go well for me. The process took days, and then fetal material got stuck in the oss opening, which caused the remainder of the miscarriage material to get backed up and had I not suspected that the increased cramping from this natural process was going wrong, I would have died of sepsis. Once the material was dislodged the remainder of the miscarriage took place rather quickly. My milk still came in.
I would highly recommend the D&C. It is sure proof way to safely remove all fetal material.
I am sorry for your loss. You're emotions will be hay wire and you will probably have many other mild post-labor symptoms, like fluid retention. The hormones that maintain a pregnancy are strong and remain in your system for quite some time. That is why there is such a delay between the death of embryo versus the miscarriage.
You might want to postpone your family trip.
7 moms found this helpful
H.G. answers from Dallas on May 11, 2011
Im sorry for your loss love. Praying for a fast recovery. I miscarried at 11wks as well and after 4 days of unbearable cramping, I went in for the d& c. I highly suggest you go that route. You are put under and don't feel a thing. It can take a while to pass everything and it doesn't always complete. Best of luck dear.
7 moms found this helpful
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on May 11, 2011
I was scheduled for a D&C immediately and I wouldn't have had it any other way.....
I'm sorry for your loss.
Once I knew the baby was gone, I just wanted it over with as soon as possible.
7 moms found this helpful
M.. answers from Youngstown on May 11, 2011
So very sorry this happened to you. The exact same thing happened to me. The night after my appointment, my body miscarried on its own. It was very painful physically. And I also saw everything, which was very painful emotionally. I strongly suggest you have the D&C and spare yourself all that.
I hope you heal quickly. Blessings.
5 moms found this helpful